You ask a tough question Jillio.
Even though I do not have an implant just hearing aids I would like to answer. I got my hearing aids at age 5, this was in 1977. I am from a very small community so my parents were clueless about what to do when they found out I was hard of hearing. I think for the first two or three years they really were in denial and devestated knowing their child was not "normal." They worried for my future and wanted the best for me but didn't know how to get to that. I think I live in the "real" world. I am surrounded by hearing people. I have to converse with hearing people everyday. My job as a teacher requires me to teach students that have normal hearing. This is as real as it gets I believe.
Of course my "real" world may not be everyone else's "real" world so I understand that completely.
Perhaps it is the line of thought that the parents of CI children want their child to be set apart from the "deaf" community because all they really want is for their child to be "normal." They want their child to excel in the "real" world, their "real" world.
As I grew older my parents began to feel more at ease announcing my hearing loss to other people. As they began to be more comfortable I noticed so did I. Instead of wearing my hair long to cover my ears I would put it in a ponytail and did not shy away when anyone asked me what was in my ears. My parents had to learn to adapt just like I did. They had to learn to let their defenses down, they had to overcome their guilt that perhaps they had done something wrong in my infancy to cause my hearing loss, and they also had to adapt to the changes that they were seeing in me.
In a sense I guess my parents didn't want me to grow up in a deaf community because they felt so strongly that I could make it in the hearing community. They did not send me to a special school, I went to a regular public school all they way to highschool, and then I went to college just like everyone else. They did not have me learn ASL, I took a few courses in college so I know some signs and fingerspelling. They never looked into any other resources or programs for me because I excelled in public school. I was just like anyone else in school, home, any activities, so they continued to treat me as such. I never needed speech therapy or anything like that. My speech was/is perfect.
So I guess if I had had a terrible time learning or struggled in school maybe they would have searched out more for me but they didn't. I do not hold that against them, I know they loved me and only wanted what was best for me.
I am 37 now and still learning new things everyday that are out there for me. I just got my first FM system for my hearing aids and I am loving it! Can you believe it took that long for me to discover FM systems! I can finally hear music from my daughters IPod!
Now if only I could find the solution to my telephone problem! :P
Okay I am going off subject here...so my overall thoughts are that most parents only want what is best for their children. They think/believe that the CI set their children apart because they are hoping that now their children will be able to function in the "hearing" world. For some parents that is the goal of the CI so that their children will no longer be considered deaf.
I hope I was clear in what I am trying to say. I am still a bit new to this board and I love hanging out here and learning. This has been such an eye opening experience and maybe one day I too will be a candidate for a CI.