I have noticed on more than one occasion that hearing parents of deaf children have accused the deaf/Deaf community of being unreceptive toward their CI implanted child.I have seen hearing parents accuse the deaf/Deaf community of trying to set their deaf child apart based on the fact that they are implanted. It always, in any discussion of implantation of deaf children, comes down to, "The Deaf community has rejected my child because I chose to give him/her the gift of sound!" The Deaf community, in the end, is always blamed for the lack of contact with other deaf/Deaf that the child has.
We don't know what they have been through. The choice for CI is so difficult, I can see they want to shield the child from rejection. I don't believe that they should blame the whole community. The online community I believe is more vocal then the people we deal with daily. It is the parent's responsiblity to shield the child from harm, words, signs are harmful to the child.
I have been around long enough to remember the early days of the CI, and will agree that the deaf/Deaf community has not always been open to the idea of implantation...either for adults or children. I have also seen this attitude change and become more and more accepting toward those that make the choice for themselves or their child. I can honestly say that I do not know a single deaf individual that would, today, reject a deaf child or that child's hearing parents, simply because that child has a CI. I do not know a single deaf individual today that would reject another deaf adult simply because they had chosen to undergo a surgical procedure to provide access to sound, even if it is not a personal choice they would make for themselves. Yet, I continue to hear hearing parents of deaf children claim that the deaf/Deaf community rejected them because their child was implanted.
Sorry that is not true in my case. I was rejected by another deaf teacher. She felt I did not want to be deaf and could not accept my implants. She makes comments that now here comes the hearing teacher. I have gone out of my way to show her I am still me. My hearing aids just didn't work for me anymore.
Here is my question: Is it really the deaf/Deaf community that is rejecting hearing parents and deaf children with CI, or is it the hearing parents themselves who are continuing to set their child apart from the deaf/Deaf community?
It might be both. One rejection can keep the parents away from the community. These are little children we are discussing, parents want to protect them from harmful words.
In discussions of education, I am still seeing hearing parents make statements such as, "Well, the experience of a deaf adult does not apply to my child, because my child is different. He/she has an implant. It is not the same as it used to be." In discussions of language, I am still seeing hearing parents say, "Well, my child no longer needs sign language, because my child now has a CI, and he/she can hear more than children with HA could ever hear." In discussions of the psycho-social issues of growing up as a deaf child in a hearing environment, I am still seeing parents make the statement, "Well my child will easily integrate into the mainstream because my child has a CI. Better hearing and better oral skills will mean that he/she will not experience the same problems as an adult who grew up without a CI."
My experiences are nothing like the children. It is different. But I do hear more than with a hearing aid ever.
For 20 years, I have been hearing these very same comments come from a wide variety of hearing parents of implanted children. And for the same 20 years, I have seen the deaf/Deaf community try to reach out to these parents, relate the painful and negative experiences they have lived through and overcome, only to see these hearing parents of implanted children reply, "Well, I'm sorry, but it will be different for my child." What I have not seen, over the past 20 years, is a great deal of difference in the educational achievement, the linguitic competency, or the psycho-social well being of these kids. I have not seen that it is different for the deaf child with a CI any more than it is different for the deaf child that grew up with a digital hearing aid instead of an analogue.
I am 39 with 36 years being deaf. It has not changed that much. There are still people who place judgement on others. Since I have experience with analogue, digital and CI, yes they are very different. The educational data I don't know. If the child is working without an IEP or 504, the data is not there.
What hasn't changed very much at all is the experience of the deaf child. We have seen more and more deaf children with CIs mainstreamed, but we have not seen a decreased need for accommdations that deaf children have always needed in the mainstream. We see deaf children with CIs growing into deaf adults with CIs, but we have not seen a decrease in the number that develop close and abiding friendships with other deaf once they are out of their hearing parent's home. We have seen deaf children with CI learning sign language as adults because their hearing parents insisted on an oral only environment, and we are still seeing reports of them saying they wished they had been given ASL as children. We see deaf children with CI gowing up and getting married, and we still continiue to see that a deaf adult (no matter what technology they use) will still be more likely to marry another adult with hearing loss than a hearing partner. We are seeing deaf children with CIs graduate from high school, despite having been mainstreamed their entire educational career, with literacy rates that fall well below the norm for the hearing students. We see deaf children with CIs grow into deaf adults with CI and still remain underemployed. We see deaf children with CIs enter into their adoloescent years unprepared to complete the transition of separation from the parent, and continue to experience social problems and relationship problems that destroy their self esteem and their sense of identity. We still see deaf adults that have been implanted for many many years that complain of being caught between hearing and deaf worlds, and not feeling as if they belong to either. They are still telling us that they do not fit with the hearing because, despite the advantage of a CI, they were never able to integrate with that group because they missed too much of what went on. They are uncomfortable with the deaf because they were never given the opportunity to associate with other deaf, to learn a visual language, to find the bond of being the same as those with whom they spend their time. As a consequence, they are not "different" than one group, and "alike" another. The feel different with both groups and where ever they go. We see deaf children with CI growing into deaf adults who have no idea what their career options are, because they have never been given the opportunity to observe successful deaf role models in all walks of life. They only know that, because they have a CI, they still can't do some of the same things that their hearing peers can do, but see it as more restricting on their choices because they have never been given an example of what a deaf adult can do, and what deaf adults all over the country do, on a daily basis.
I fit into my own world. The one I created for myself.
Why is this continuing to happen? Because hearing parents are saying, with ever increasing numbers as the rate of childhood implants go up, "My child is different. My child doesn't need the deaf community, because my child will function, in all ways, the same as a hearing child. My child will have better speech skills. My child will receive a mainstream education. My child will grow up with hearing kids. My child will be different from all the other deaf children that have ever grown up before!"
the hopes and dreams parents have for their children is why. Didn't you have high hopes and dreams for your child? I have them for my daughter. My mom always told me, I can do anything I put my mind to. She supported me and provided the best she could.
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