Is this cheating?

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DoDaDew said:
For those who said it was cheating by omission. Please justify that and how do you know it is an omission when the OP did not provide enough information?

Did the boyfriend not tell the girlfriend he is going to the concert?
Did the boyfriend tell the girlfriend he is going to the concert but not who he is going with?
Did the boyfriend tell the girlfriend he is going to the concert with the couple but not about the female?
Did the boyfriend actually know the femaile in question?

I really do not see how you can make judgements without more facts.
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This is cheating by omission because more than likely the boyfriend had planned to attend the concert in advance but did not know that the other girl would also be attending with the other couple. He did not tell his girlfriend about this other girl at all which leads me to believe there was some sort of cheating even if the two never actually shacked up together. The poor girlfriend had to find out about this via a social networking site along with some possibly damning photographs of her boyfriend and this other girl. You really have to put yourself in the shoes of the girlfriend to really understand the emotions running through her head. It is not as cut and dry as you want. It is cheating and the boyfriend will have to earn the trust of his girlfriend back which may be quite difficult.
 
shel90 said:
I went back to the orginal post and I noticed this...

The boyfriend went out with a couple and THEIR female friend so how is it cheating if the female friend is a friend of the couple?
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Since the OP did not provide sufficient information for us to make a sound judgement, one end up making assumptions. Since you point out that the female friend is a friend of the couple, this begs several questions....

Was the female invited by the couple as a "blind date" or a potential date for the boyfriend?
Did the couple like the girlfriend?
Is the couple trying to protect the boyfriend and attempt to break up the relationship?

quirkylibra said:
I definitely don't think this is cheating. Well, at least there is no proof of cheating. I said lying by omission, but I was one of the people who assumed that she knew nothing. I don't think you need to tell your partner everything, but I have found that when things like that get left out, there is a reason.
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Okay....I will play along with you and assume that she knew nothing until she saw the picture. The question is.....What did the boyfriend do or say when the girlfriend confronted him about the picture? If he came clean, there is no cheating involved. If he denied it or covered it up, there is a problem.

This is where I differ with you about telling your partner everything. I believe in being honest and forthcoming with my partner about anything and everything. When one starts to hide or be selective with information shared, the relationship and trust is on thin ice.
 
DoDaDew said:
Since the OP did not provide sufficient information for us to make a sound judgement, one end up making assumptions. Since you point out that the female friend is a friend of the couple, this begs several questions....

Was the female invited by the couple as a "blind date" or a potential date for the boyfriend?
Did the couple like the girlfriend?
Is the couple trying to protect the boyfriend and attempt to break up the relationship?



Okay....I will play along with you and assume that she knew nothing until she saw the picture. The question is.....What did the boyfriend do or say when the girlfriend confronted him about the picture? If he came clean, there is no cheating involved. If he denied it or covered it up, there is a problem.

This is where I differ with you about telling your partner everything. I believe in being honest and forthcoming with my partner about anything and everything. When one starts to hide or be selective with information shared, the relationship and trust is on thin ice.
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Do you think you need to tell your partner every detail of your life? I don't see the need to share everything, because there is trust. I do however think a concert is a more major event. Something like the drugstore, market or whatever is minute to me :) Everyone has an opinion, that is why many relationships don't work.:lol:
 
Dixie said:
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This is cheating by omission because more than likely the boyfriend had planned to attend the concert in advance but did not know that the other girl would also be attending with the other couple. He did not tell his girlfriend about this other girl at all which leads me to believe there was some sort of cheating even if the two never actually shacked up together. The poor girlfriend had to find out about this via a social networking site along with some possibly damning photographs of her boyfriend and this other girl. You really have to put yourself in the shoes of the girlfriend to really understand the emotions running through her head. It is not as cut and dry as you want. It is cheating and the boyfriend will have to earn the trust of his girlfriend back which may be quite difficult.
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If I had a girlfriend who was that worried about me I would have to leave her no matter how much I loved her. No point going through life looking for reasons to fight.
 
quirkylibra said:
Do you think you need to tell your partner every detail of your life? I don't see the need to share everything, because there is trust. I do however think a concert is a more major event. Something like the drugstore, market or whatever is minute to me :) Everyone has an opinion, that is why many relationships don't work.:lol:
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LOL! Now that is a different story when you are talking about minute details. I do not think my partner wants to know when I go take a crap, how I take a crap and what my stool looks like.

You expect your partner to communicate about anything that is important to you and the relationship. Trust is there because you expect honesty and know that you would be told. It is all about communicating and being upfront.

Would you be upset if you got a call from my doctor regarding the results of my stool test that you did not know about. Yeah, dear, I have blood in my stool and I did not want to worry you. You would be upset with me and say you had a right to know that. When one start hiding things from their partner.....problem occurs. Personally, world would be a better place if we all are upfront and honest.

Now would you like to know what my stool looks like? :laugh2:
 
It's not that, it's the fact that the pictures probably appeared to the girlfriend like he was having some extra on the side and it didn't help any that the boyfriend didn't mention this other concert-going girl to his girlfriend. We don't know what those pictures look like, but if it looked like he was grabbing booty and boobies he's in a shitload of trouble.
 
DoDaDew said:
Now would you like to know what my stool looks like? :laugh2:
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If you are a celebrity and need a few extra dollars I am sure there is a tabloid will pay you $350 for that "special" bit of info -- and they will run it on the front page.

DoDaDew keeps secret stool from wife.
 
DoDaDew said:
LOL! Now that is a different story when you are talking about minute details. I do not think my partner wants to know when I go take a crap, how I take a crap and what my stool looks like.

You expect your partner to communicate about anything that is important to you and the relationship. Trust is there because you expect honesty and know that you would be told. It is all about communicating and being upfront.

Would you be upset if you got a call from my doctor regarding the results of my stool test that you did not know about. Yeah, dear, I have blood in my stool and I did not want to worry you. You would be upset with me and say you had a right to know that. When one start hiding things from their partner.....problem occurs. Personally, world would be a better place if we all are upfront and honest.

Now would you like to know what my stool looks like? :laugh2:
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:eek3:
 
Berry said:
Interesting. I have a friend who believes infidelity begins with talk, conversation -- So the minute you see a man talking to your woman you need to knock him down and do it quick. He has lived up to his word several times....
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There's a huge difference between friendly casual conversation and sharing intimate secrets and feelings on the sly.
 
DoDaDew said:
Perfect answer....short and sweet!



If a person is in love with you and wants to know everything, it would not be boring to that person.

Now, what does your stool looks like? :laugh2:
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actually, my husband and I do talk about health problems... yes , even stool, especially when he was feeling sick and we were wondering if it is a medical problem that need to be checked out.

My husband and his mother don't have that much a close relationship. She had a serious heart attack and didn't even bother telling my husband about it. We found out MONTHS later from his father. I don't know why she does it, but she does. If she was dying, she wouldn't tell us about it either until it is too late.

it's sad that some people aren't as open.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
actually, my husband and I do talk about health problems... yes , even stool, especially when he was feeling sick and we were wondering if it is a medical problem that need to be checked out.

My husband and his mother don't have that much a close relationship. She had a serious heart attack and didn't even bother telling my husband about it. We found out MONTHS later from his father. I don't know why she does it, but she does. If she was dying, she wouldn't tell us about it either until it is too late.

it's sad that some people aren't as open.
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I think a lot of that can be attributed to that the generation she was raised in is that other people's problems are likely worse than your own and that you should not seek out attention to your own plight no matter how bad it is. Basically what it amounts to is, she does not want to bother or burden others with her problems and issues. She would rather die alone in her house than to be dying in the arms of her neighbor, or in your MIL's case in the arms of her son or his wife. A lot of older people are wired like that so I think it's all in how they were raised.
 
I read every post here. I have more information than you all guys. I would say no, he was not cheating on his girlfriend. However, there was lacking of communication. The reason why they did not communicated because they slowly giving up on each other.

The boyfriend went out with their friends and their female friend. No, the boyfriend did not know that female friend, but knew a little about her. Friends filled him in.

In the beginning, the boyfriend was excited about that concert and wanted to take his girlfriend. But she was not too crazy about it, but wanted to go to share the fun experience. A month later, she found out by picture (As we observed it, the boyfriend lean a little closer to the female friend. This woman was very close to the boyfriend.

This IS NOT acceptable! However, the boyfriend did not touch the girl, bearly touch her thou. But this woman posed like the 3rd picture. Oh guess what I found out? She's married!! So was the boyfriend a mistress after all? LOL I believe the each partner is responsible for their action and speak up to say don't get too close to me.

http://images.clipartof.com/small/2...lhouetted-Couples-In-Different-Sexy-Poses.jpg

I would understand if they pose like this for picture

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_mUkBhTl0N...fxAhuGs/s400/COUPLE'S+SIDE+BY+SIDE+layout.jpg

Now, it is about disrespectful, dishonest, betrayed, not a cheater. Great, it doesn't make a positive statement here.

Updated: The girlfriend forgave him for not communicating and didn't want to take her to the concert. They need to work on the communication and respect for each other. They know if they lack on those areas again, their relationship is meaningless! It is important for them to have chance to improve on their weakness. They want to get married and have children some day. But let's see how they are doing it after math.

If they give up on each other so easily, they probably will end up being old maids.
 
Dixie said:
I think a lot of that can be attributed to that the generation she was raised in is that other people's problems are likely worse than your own and that you should not seek out attention to your own plight no matter how bad it is. Basically what it amounts to is, she does not want to bother or burden others with her problems and issues. She would rather die alone in her house than to be dying in the arms of her neighbor, or in your MIL's case in the arms of her son or his wife. A lot of older people are wired like that so I think it's all in how they were raised.
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yes, but it doesn't mean my husband was hurt by it. he really was hurted and wanted to be there for his mother.
 
Driving Miss Daisy said:
Oh I overlooked the msg below the picture. Ok ... what are you trying to say?
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1. she's married (that's Frisky Feline in the pix with me)
2. I'm single
3. we're hugging like a couple

so is she cheating? :whistle:
 
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