Is this cheating?

souggy said:
Someone said that to me... LOL... I should wait for a girl to ask me out because those ones are the only relationships that last longer than six months. :laugh2: The other ones just crash and burn.
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I asked him out, and we are still tgt for a year now :monkey:
 
you know what, that happened with me too. I ask my husband if we could meet after talking for awhile on the internet.
 
FINALLY, more information

Driving Miss Daisy said:
The boyfriend went out with their friends and their female friend. No, the boyfriend did not know that female friend, but knew a little about her. Friends filled him in.
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So they do not know each other. Did the boyfriend knew that the female friend was going few days or weeks before the concert?

In the beginning, the boyfriend was excited about that concert and wanted to take his girlfriend. But she was not too crazy about it, but wanted to go to share the fun experience. A month later, she found out by picture (As we observed it, the boyfriend lean a little closer to the female friend. This woman was very close to the boyfriend.
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Oh so now the truth comes out. The boyfriend did talk about the concert and did ask his girlfriend to go but the girlfriend did not want to go so he joined his friends who are a couple. Therefore the girlfriend did know that he was going to the concert.....so no surprises there.

Question.....When did the boyfriend actually know that the female friend was going to be at the concert?

This IS NOT acceptable! However, the boyfriend did not touch the girl, bearly touch her thou. But this woman posed like the 3rd picture. Oh guess what I found out? She's married!! So was the boyfriend a mistress after all? LOL I believe the each partner is responsible for their action and speak up to say don't get too close to me.
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This is where you are making rash judgements. They just took a picture together, what is the fuss? Just like Jiro posted his picture of NYC. I do not see anything romantic between those two in that picture. I do not assume that she is Jiro's mistress.

Now, it is about disrespectful, dishonest, betrayed, not a cheater. Great, it doesn't make a positive statement here.
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HOW is it disrespectful, dishonest and betrayal? You just said that the boyfriend was excited about that concert and wanted to take his girlfriend. But she was not too crazy about it, but wanted to go to share the fun experience. To me, it implies that the girlfriend knew about the concert and did not want to go. He wasn't dishonest when he told her about the concert and wanted her to go. He wasn't disrespectful for going to the concert that she did not want to go. How could he betray his girlfriend by taking an innoncent picture that everyone else always take?

Updated: The girlfriend forgave him for not communicating and didn't want to take her to the concert. They need to work on the communication and respect for each other. They know if they lack on those areas again, their relationship is meaningless! It is important for them to have chance to improve on their weakness. They want to get married and have children some day. But let's see how they are doing it after math.
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HUH? Forgive him for not communicating and taking her to the concert? According to what you said, the boyfriend was excited about that concert and wanted to take his girlfriend. But she was not too crazy about it, but wanted to go to share the fun experience. He did talk about it and did ask her but she "was not too crazy about it". I do not see what he did wrong and she should be apologizing to him!

Driving Miss Daisy said:
Driving Miss Daisy trusts a man who communicates with me. Many times, I have seen women sent romantic notes and taking pictures with female friends to his sweetheart. He interacted with everyone. That’s super cool because I trust his judgement and will be responsible to speak, I'm not single and f**k off (maybe in the nice way.) But this unknown boyfriend went to a concert w/o telling his girlfriend and kept it “secret,” until this girlfriend found out by a picture in social network. That hypocrite boyfriend should not preach on this “communication is a key word. I rather to tell my girlfriend even it will hurt her than keeping it secret not to casue the problem.” That is not cool. I understand his girlfriend. She was hurt.
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The bolded part does not make any sense based on what you told us previously. How did the boyfriend kept it a secret when the girlfriend knew he was excited about the concert and asked her to go which "she was not too crazy about it"??

I think the girlfriend has a trust issue and reacted harshly.
 
DoDaDew said:
I think the girlfriend has a trust issue and reacted harshly.
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my thought exactly. But the detailed explanation is not really needed for me. If I ever see any pix of my gf with a guy doing some hugging pix, spanking, suggestive gestures or whatever.... I don't think "wtf bitch???? you slut!" unless she's KISSING him.

The point is - the first thought out of bf/gf's head when viewing a pix should be "LOL!" Now that's the kind of relationship I like. I think that kind of relationship tends to be very stable and long-lasting........ and healthy.
 
HUH? Forgive him for not communicating and taking her to the concert? According to what you said, the boyfriend was excited about that concert and wanted to take his girlfriend. But she was not too crazy about it, but wanted to go to share the fun experience. He did talk about it and did ask her but she "was not too crazy about it". I do not see what he did wrong and she should be apologizing to him!
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did you read the part where she wanted to go anyway even though she wasn't too crazy about it? I think what happen is that she was waiting for him to take her and it didn't happen. It's kinda like prom.. A girl may not be too crazy about going to another school prom. He let her know and even invited her, so she says "yes, I'll go" And when prom night came, he didn't talk about it ,like "hey, what time do you want me to pick you up" and such.. he just took off without her.

(personally, I would broke up with the guy if he stood me up like that)
 
I don't understand all the back-and-forth about the details of pictures, and who said what, etc. If the couple is only boyfriend-girlfriend, and they aren't even engaged, then all those other details don't matter. There is no "cheating" if there is no formal commitment.

The rest is so much junior high drama. :lol:
 
DoDaDew said:
FINALLY, more information

YAY


So they do not know each other. Did the boyfriend knew that the female friend was going few days or weeks before the concert? My friend and her bf were supposed to go. They both never knew about going to the concert

My friend and her bf were supposed to go in the first place. He got a free ticket and ditched his gf. Get the message?

Oh so now the truth comes out. The boyfriend did talk about the concert and did ask his girlfriend to go but the girlfriend did not want to go so he joined his friends who are a couple. Therefore the girlfriend did know that he was going to the concert.....so no surprises there.

You are so right, my bad you did not get enough info because you are making it seem that my friend is so mean and wanted to make her bf miserable. The girlfriend did want to go with him. As she explained to me, that was pretty clear. They mentioned it once to me that they are going. AS she said, that is something he likes, why not supporting him and share the fun experience.

Question.....When did the boyfriend actually know that the female friend was going to be at the concert?

That his friend’s girlfriend’s best friend. They told the bf about her, not the height and weight, if you must know.

This is where you are making rash judgements. They just took a picture together, what is the fuss? Just like Jiro posted his picture of NYC. I do not see anything romantic between those two in that picture. I do not assume that she is Jiro's mistress.

*laughing* You gotta be kidding me!

If he sneaks out, did not mention about the concert at all (communication failed,) and had the woman get too close to him (THEY DON’T EVEN know each other and never spoke before,) that’s wrong. IF he communicated with his gf, I am sure she would be more understanding if he is in the picture with lad/ies.

HOW is it disrespectful, dishonest and betrayal? You just said that the boyfriend was excited about that concert and wanted to take his girlfriend. But she was not too crazy about it, but wanted to go to share the fun experience. To me, it implies that the girlfriend knew about the concert and did not want to go. He wasn't dishonest when he told her about the concert and wanted her to go. He wasn't disrespectful for going to the concert that she did not want to go. How could he betray his girlfriend by taking an innoncent picture that everyone else always take?

From my understanding, she never said no. He was asking her if she likes that kind of band. She has a right not to like it. In fact, she was exciting to go. They did not misunderstand each other. The bf knew she wanted to go with him regardless. Why ditched that poor girlfriend??

If my boyfriend wanted to go Yankees even thou he is not too crazy for baseball. But he was exciting to go because he would get a chance to go out with his gf all day at the fun place. But nah … my friend hooked me up with a free ticket, forget about my boyfriend. I rather to get a free ticket with a couple and meeting a new guy (double date? Maybe.) And do not mention to him because he would get upset and I might not able to go with them. FYI, they are professional people, they can afford buying tickets.

In fact, in my heart I know I won’t do that because it will disappoint him. If he told me he wanted to go, I will take him if have to buy two tickets as we planned it.
So that boyfriend was wrong, in my opinion.

HUH? Forgive him for not communicating and taking her to the concert? According to what you said, the boyfriend was excited about that concert and wanted to take his girlfriend. But she was not too crazy about it, but wanted to go to share the fun experience. He did talk about it and did ask her but she "was not too crazy about it". I do not see what he did wrong and she should be apologizing to him!

I do not think you are following me here.

In fact, why he rathers to go with this stranger than going with his OWN women?? HMMMM.


The bolded part does not make any sense based on what you told us previously. How did the boyfriend kept it a secret when the girlfriend knew he was excited about the concert and asked her to go which "she was not too crazy about it"??

She wanted to go, simple as that. She said she wanted to see that band with him. She also said she likes watching her bf getting too excited about sometimes. How romantic! And you know what, my friend likes that kind of music too. She is into anything. Just that she is not too crazy about that band as her bf, which is OK. Again, should not ditch his gf. Period.

I think the girlfriend has a trust issue and reacted harshly.
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You think so? That is your opinion. I respect that.


Here is my opinon, from my observation, from my understanding, you are lacking of compassion. If a person is hurting, talk to them. Why is it bothering them a lot. Explain why they should not feel that way. But that bf made very clear that he did not care about her feelings in the begining. My friend had to bothered him and showed him that was really bothering her. If he shows some care, she would let it go after being reasonable with him and move on.

But they are ok because the bf understood and don't see the way you see it :D
 
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Lighthouse77 said:
did you read the part where she wanted to go anyway even though she wasn't too crazy about it? I think what happen is that she was waiting for him to take her and it didn't happen. It's kinda like prom.. A girl may not be too crazy about going to another school prom. He let her know and even invited her, so she says "yes, I'll go" And when prom night came, he didn't talk about it ,like "hey, what time do you want me to pick you up" and such.. he just took off without her.

(personally, I would broke up with the guy if he stood me up like that)
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Thank you for understand my friend's pain.
 
Reba said:
I don't understand all the back-and-forth about the details of pictures, and who said what, etc. If the couple is only boyfriend-girlfriend, and they aren't even engaged, then all those other details don't matter. There is no "cheating" if there is no formal commitment.

The rest is so much junior high drama. :lol:
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HAHAHA .. I had to laugh. I do not understand how they end up focus on picture thing. It was not the only reason. She was SUPPOSED TO GO to a concert with him as they were planning on it for a month or so. And the picture thing was bad enough for her to find out that her bf ditched her. And with no explaination, she thought he cheated on her. But she copied and pasted the pic with no words in the email. He replied her back with this "So and?" Aw man my friend was heartbroken. Poor her.

It's ok if you feel this is junior high drama. I'm just disappointed in those guys who think it's nothing wrong.
 
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Reba said:
I don't understand all the back-and-forth about the details of pictures, and who said what, etc. If the couple is only boyfriend-girlfriend, and they aren't even engaged, then all those other details don't matter. There is no "cheating" if there is no formal commitment.

The rest is so much junior high drama. :lol:
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:lol: I know; I thought this thread would be over and done with by the end of the first page.
 
Driving Miss Daisy said:
HAHAHA .. I had to laugh. I do not understand how they end up focus on picture thing. It was not the only reason. She was SUPPOSED TO GO to a concert with him as they were planning on it for a month or so. And the picture thing was bad enough for her to find out that her bf ditched her. And with no explaination, she thought he cheated on her. But she copied and pasted the pic with no words in the email. He replied her back with this "So and?" Aw man my friend was heartbroken. Poor her.

It's ok if you feel this is junior high drama. I'm just disappointed in those guys who think it's nothing wrong.
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That's what the dating process is all about--sorting out the winners from the losers. Yes, it can be painful but it's a lot less painful to find out and get rid of the losers before things get too serious, such as in marriage.

Lack of honesty on one side, and lack of communication on the other are "wrongs", yes. However, those are the things that dating will reveal before the couple gets too serious. That's part of the process.

It becomes "drama" when third parties become involved.
 
Driving Miss Daisy said:
The boyfriend went out with a couple and their female friend to a concert.
The boyfriend never told his girlfriend about it. Three weeks later, his girlfriend found out by some social website, saw a picture of them from a concert.

Is this mentally or emotionally cheating?
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It's cheating if his girlfriend would like to go to that concert. Good partnership isn't an ownership. We can't control other thoughts, we just have to trust. And it isn't always easy to tell everything, and just have to find the balace about things what to tell. It's not cheating, but if self-confidence isn't very good, you might think it's cheating. :roll:
 
Driving Miss Daisy said:
You think so? That is your opinion. I respect that.


Here is my opinon, from my observation, from my understanding, you are lacking of compassion. If a person is hurting, talk to them. Why is it bothering them a lot. Explain why they should not feel that way. But that bf made very clear that he did not care about her feelings in the begining. My friend had to bothered him and showed him that was really bothering her. If he shows some care, she would let it go after being reasonable with him and move on.

But they are ok because the bf understood and don't see the way you see it :D
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Now that you actually explained the whole thing. It is a completely different situation than what you originally posted. Yes, he is wrong for not communicating with her and yes, she has every reason to be upset after she found out about it. No, it does not amount to any type of cheating on her.

Next time present information in whole not in snippets.
 
If my girlfriend went somewhere without letting me know about it, I'd feel "let-down" or betrayed. If I went somewhere without telling her where I'm going or what I'm doing, I'd feel guilty. So, I do feel like the aforementioned scenario is cheating.
 
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