Oral school

[Bottesini]

True.. but poor people who got the brunt of their wrath.... do they really deserve it?

You know that sign where your index finger circles your ear?

Just take a deep breath, sign that, and snort through your nose, then laugh.

Old say that applies also: "Water off a ducks back."

 

[Daredevel7]

You know that sign where your index finger circles your ear?

Just take a deep breath, sign that, and snort through your nose, then laugh.

Old say that applies also: "Water off a ducks back."

Hmm... I'm sure it wouldn't bother you if your daughter told you "You raised me wrong, Mom. You should have taught me sign. You screwed up big time, Mom. I'll never forgive you."

Water off a duck's back, right?

 

[Bottesini]

Hmm... I'm sure it wouldn't bother you if your daughter told you "You raised me wrong, Mom. You should have taught me sign. You screwed up big time, Mom. I'll never forgive you."

Water off a duck's back, right?

My kid's both hearing and both know sign, granddaughter well on her way too.

But, of course they have criticized me at times for some decisions.

And yes, you are correct to my attitude.

I am old enough to remember that things said in the heat of the moment are not necessarily true feelings.

Plus I took a lot of psychology courses to help me learn to deal with my emotions. (obviously I am not perfect at it)

 

[Daredevel7]

Honestly, the only thing that bothers me is when people who were orally raised start complaining about their lives when they start learning sign. They have a right to complain about their lives if they really were miserable growing up. But if you ask them specifically, "So you didn't have a happy childhood then?", a lot of them answer "Well... at the time, yes I was happy, but now thinking back, it would have been better if I knew sign." I'm sorry but that IRRITATES me to no end. There is a difference between saying that it would have been better if you knew sign and COMPLAINING about not knowing sign, even though technically you were happy during your childhood.

I am sure people will say "Well, they were brainwashed, that's why they were happy."

Happiness is still happiness, right? Didn't anyone see Life is Beautiful?

 

[jillio]

My kid's both hearing and both know sign, granddaughter well on her way too.

But, of course they have criticized me at times for some decisions.

And yes, you are correct to my attitude.

I am old enough to remember that things said in the heat of the moment are not necessarily true feelings.

Plus I took a lot of psychology courses to help me learn to deal with my emotions. (obviously I am not perfect at it)

Not perfect, Bott, as none of us are. Yety much wiser and more insightful than most.

 

[Daredevel7]

Not perfect, Bott, as none of us are. Yety much wiser and more insightful than most.

I agree. Someone raised you well....

 

[jillio]

Honestly, the only thing that bothers me is when people who were orally raised start complaining about their lives when they start learning sign. They have a right to complain about their lives if they really were miserable growing up. But if you ask them specifically, "So you didn't have a happy childhood then?", a lot of them answer "Well... at the time, yes I was happy, but now thinking back, it would have been better if I knew sign." I'm sorry but that IRRITATES me to no end. There is a difference between saying that it would have been better if you knew sign and COMPLAINING about not knowing sign, even though technically you were happy during your childhood.

I am sure people will say "Well, they were brainwashed, that's why they were happy."

Happiness is still happiness, right? Didn't anyone see Life is Beautiful?

It isn't that they were brainwashed. It is that they had no base for comparison until they were adults and learned another way on their own.

A child who is raised an a dysfunctional home doesn't realize that it is dysfunctional, either, until they get away from it and see that there is another way to live.

 

[Daredevel7]

It isn't that they were brainwashed. It is that they had no base for comparison until they were adults and learned another way on their own.

A child who is raised an a dysfunctional home doesn't realize that it is dysfunctional, either, until they get away from it and see that there is another way to live.

True, but it's not likely a child in a dysfunctional home will be happy, especially if the child hangs out with other children from school.

 

[Daredevel7]

Also, I used to be sad because I wasn't as rich as my peers at school during the middle school years. Does this mean being richer is better?

I probably would LOVE to be rich, but after a while.......pfffft.

 

[jillio]

True, but it's not likely a child in a dysfunctional home will be happy, especially if the child hangs out with other children from school.

Well, that is not necessarily so. Most children from dysfunctional homes are happy. Happy is a subjective term. They are happy because they have no comparison, nor do they have an understanding that not everyone lives the way they live. The ramifications of their life do not become evident to them until they are adults, and are old enough and mature enough to look back with a degree of insight.

 

[AlleyCat]

Actually, I think there is some sense/truth in what Lighthouse is saying. I am severe/profoundly deaf, yet I learned to speak well. I disagree in that it is easy -- it does take time -- I had speech therapy until high school, so it is definitely a longer process than for a hearing person. But I don't see being able to speak as a "skill" either, just the same as Lighthouse was saying.

I do see the misconception that many have that if a deaf person can't speak, then they're "dumb." I see that all the time. We all know that's not true, but there's so many out there that don't realize that.

 

[jillio]

Also, I used to be sad because I wasn't as rich as my peers at school during the middle school years. Does this mean being richer is better?

I probably would LOVE to be rich, but after a while.......pfffft.

Then you should understand exactly why some deaf adults look back at their oral upbringing and say, 'pffft."

 

[Daredevel7]

Then you should understand exactly why some deaf adults look back at their oral upbringing and say, 'pffft."

Or "ex-oralist" going through the stage of "deaf identity" and looking back and going pffft.

I am still waiting for my revelation that ASL is awesome and I can't live without it.... I can't wait to yell at my mother about what a horrible parent she is!!!!

 

[jillio]

Or "ex-oralist" going through the stage of "deaf identity" and looking back and going pffft.

I am still waiting for my revelation that ASL is awesome and I can't live without it.... I can't wait to yell at my mother about what a horrible parent she is!!!!

Sarcasm only serves to discount the vast number of deaf individuals whose experience has been quite different than your own. Perhaps your revelation will come when you actually become fluent in ASL. And the majority don't "yell" at their parents. They are simply very sad that their parents did not make the effort to meet their need for visual communication. They mourn the closeness that could have been achieved through effective communication. They grieve the feeling of being on the outside looking in that their childhood produced. And they are entitled to that.

 

[Daredevel7]

Sarcasm only serves to discount the vast number of deaf individuals whose experience has been quite different than your own. Perhaps your revelation will come when you actually become fluent in ASL. And the majority don't "yell" at their parents. They are simply very sad that their parents did not make the effort to meet their need for visual communication. They mourn the closeness that could have been achieved through effective communication. They grieve the feeling of being on the outside looking in that their childhood produced. And they are entitled to that.

If their experiences were different than my own, then they have a right. I am not talking about people who have a different experience from me. Do you honestly think I'm talking about ALL orally raised people? Come on...

Honestly, if you knew me personally, knew how I grew up, and you heard me complaining about my life being "horrible" just because I didn't know sign, even YOU would slap me. That's what I am saying.

 

[jillio]

If their experiences were different than my own, then they have a right. I am not talking about people who have a different experience from me. Do you honestly think I'm talking about ALL orally raised people? Come on...

Honestly, if you knew me personally, knew how I grew up, and you heard me complaining about my life being "horrible" just because I didn't know sign, even YOU would slap me. That's what I am saying.

Since you are not complaining that is not an issue. But the fact that others feel they have the right to complain (and they do) has absolutely nothing to do with you or how you were raised. It has to do with their experience. You cannot judge what their experience was based on your own experience. Nor can you state that their complaints are not valid simply because you don't have the need to voice the same complaints.

 

[AlleyCat]

Sarcasm only serves to discount the vast number of deaf individuals whose experience has been quite different than your own. Perhaps your revelation will come when you actually become fluent in ASL. And the majority don't "yell" at their parents. They are simply very sad that their parents did not make the effort to meet their need for visual communication. They mourn the closeness that could have been achieved through effective communication. They grieve the feeling of being on the outside looking in that their childhood produced. And they are entitled to that.

I couldn't agree more with the bolded statement. I love my parents and have a good relationship with them, but I still to this day think of how horrible school was from a self-esteem standpoint, and how I so wish my parents had listened to my "cries" for help (not literally crying, but the very WANT for a change). I think there is a distance between my parents and I that would otherwise not be there.

 

[Daredevel7]

Since you are not complaining that is not an issue. But the fact that others feel they have the right to complain (and they do) has absolutely nothing to do with you or how you were raised. It has to do with their experience. You cannot judge what their experience was based on your own experience. Nor can you state that their complaints are not valid simply because you don't have the need to voice the same complaints.

Some people just don't like people who complain, and I am not an exception. Obviously, I'll try to have an open mind, but after finding out more information......sometimes I am just like..... GAHHHHHHHH.

Ah well.

 

[jillio]

I couldn't agree more with the bolded statement. I love my parents and have a good relationship with them, but I still to this day think of how horrible school was from a self-esteem standpoint, and how I so wish my parents had listened to my "cries" for help (not literally crying, but the very WANT for a change). I think there is a distance between my parents and I that would otherwise not be there.

Exactly. Looking back with insight does not imply hatred.

 

[Lighthouse77]

Or "ex-oralist" going through the stage of "deaf identity" and looking back and going pffft.

I am still waiting for my revelation that ASL is awesome and I can't live without it.... I can't wait to yell at my mother about what a horrible parent she is!!!!

I don't yell at my parents. I know she means well.. only if she just understand.

I weren't close to my parents anyhow because the communication issues. I love them and I miss my mom (she is dead) but I know there was not much she can do about it. So I am speaking out for other parents who are trying to decide what is best for their child by telling my experience.