That is what it seems to me when the school officals tell parents that they need to put their deaf child in an oral school. It seems to me that many parents don't question it.
The deaf adults who were on the recieving end of the education and the school officals who decided on what kind of education the deaf students should have - Which ones carry the most weight?
I believe it is the deaf adults who have the most weight but they are least likely listened to. Many deaf adults complained about the quality of education for the deaf and about lack or little usage of ASL in school for long time. The changes are very slow in coming. Who run the Deaf Education? Of course, they are mostly hearing people. I want to see the deaf schools stay on but the education need to be improved. My reason for the deaf schools is deaf kids need the deaf networking. The deaf networking is the safety net. A deaf child can go traveling in both worlds. (I have a hearing friend at home and all those cousins.) If something goes wrong in one of the worlds for that person, that person still have the other world to rely on.
I disagree...I am going to take a risk and possibly offend people, so I'm sorry in advance.
I can see why hearing parents would take doctor's advice over deaf adults. Doctors are presumed have seen a lot of deaf children and the end results from a unbiased perspective, supposedly. So they are "experts" on the majority of deaf people. When deaf adults tell the parents "Hey! Don't do this! I was struggling big time without ASL. You MUST teach that child ASL!!! I grew up being forced oral, my parents would NOT let me sign, and I was severely delayed. When I learned ASL, my life changed!" I can see why hearing parents do not take them seriously for the following reasons:
1) They probably would think that their parents are bad since the child was obviously struggling and having a hard time.
2) The "few" extremes are all about ASL only, so even if deaf people disagree with only ASL, they are still promoting ASL and it seems more of an agenda than a genuine concern.
3) Unfortunately, what deaf adults may not realize is that while they are telling the parents this, they have quite not so great English skills (I don't mean speaking, I mean writing too). I understand that a lot of people (hearing or not) have bad writing skills and ASL is different from English grammar, but it's hard to convince someone that ASL will help a child when the person doing the convincing has bad grammar skills.
Of course, I am not saying that ALL deaf people who do ASL have bad grammar skills or anything, or that bad grammar skills = not so bright. I am talking about first impressions here (or even the 2nd impression). It seems to me that the most of the eloquent people here in AD are either hearing or deaf/oral raised (but pissed off about how he/she was raised)/early mainstreamed.
SHOOT!! I GOTTA GO TO WORK!!
I'm not saying all but it would be cool if family/relatives are willing to learn sign language then they are able to communicate with deaf children, don't you think so?
I am going to take a risk and possibly offend people, so I'm sorry in advance.
I can see why hearing parents would take doctor's advice over deaf adults. Doctors are presumed have seen a lot of deaf children and the end results from a unbiased perspective, supposedly. So they are "experts" on the majority of deaf people. When deaf adults tell the parents "Hey! Don't do this! I was struggling big time without ASL. You MUST teach that child ASL!!! I grew up being forced oral, my parents would NOT let me sign, and I was severely delayed. When I learned ASL, my life changed!" I can see why hearing parents do not take them seriously for the following reasons:
1) They probably would think that their parents are bad since the child was obviously struggling and having a hard time.
2) The "few" extremes are all about ASL only, so even if deaf people disagree with only ASL, they are still promoting ASL and it seems more of an agenda than a genuine concern.
3) Unfortunately, what deaf adults may not realize is that while they are telling the parents this, they have quite not so great English skills (I don't mean speaking, I mean writing too). I understand that a lot of people (hearing or not) have bad writing skills and ASL is different from English grammar, but it's hard to convince someone that ASL will help a child when the person doing the convincing has bad grammar skills.
Of course, I am not saying that ALL deaf people who do ASL have bad grammar skills or anything, or that bad grammar skills = not so bright. I am talking about first impressions here (or even the 2nd impression). It seems to me that the most of the eloquent people here in AD are either hearing or deaf/oral raised (but pissed off about how he/she was raised)/early mainstreamed.
SHOOT!! I GOTTA GO TO WORK!!
Ahhh....but that perception is false. My son's pediatrician, despite having been in practice for over 25 years when my son came along, had never had a deaf child as a patient. And he was a pediatric nuerologist by specialty. Many, many ENTs have a thriving practice without ever having seen a prelingually deafened child. Likewise, when they do encounter a prelingually deafened child, their focus is on the pathology of the deafness and how to take medical steps to correct the pathology, not on the long term consequences of deafness. I fully understand why hearing parents would place a high degree of confidence in the physician, but it also needs to be kept in mind that he/she is a doctor, and not an educator, not a deaf person (usually, although there are deaf doctors) and certainly has never been a deaf child. While their expertise is valuable, it is also limited to the area of their expertise. That area is medical.
I'd like to clarify my previous post. I was attempting to look from the perspective of a clueless parent. Some people, including myself, think that hearing parents do not simply reject the deaf community ONLY because of the few people who criticize them. I have personally seen deaf people saying to hearing parents "Please do not let the few critical deaf people get to you. The majority of the deaf population do NOT share their opinions." and that's great except...... it does not seem to be working. So I am attempting to speak out the possible reasons why hearing people reject the deaf community including the reasons that may be hurtful. Now you and Shel responded to me as if I believed in those reasons why hearing people do not take the deaf community seriously, but that's not what I'm saying. I know some of you firmly do not believe that any of the reasons I stated are true BUT I'm asking if it is possible that hearing parents may have these perceptions (even if its false)?
The reason why I am trying to list all the perceptions is because perhaps hearing parents feel that they may be too insulting to admit to the deaf community. It's easier to work with one when you know their fears.
I'd like to clarify my previous post. I was attempting to look from the perspective of a clueless parent. Some people, including myself, think that hearing parents do not simply reject the deaf community ONLY because of the few people who criticize them. I have personally seen deaf people saying to hearing parents "Please do not let the few critical deaf people get to you. The majority of the deaf population do NOT share their opinions." and that's great except...... it does not seem to be working. So I am attempting to speak out the possible reasons why hearing people reject the deaf community including the reasons that may be hurtful. Now you and Shel responded to me as if I believed in those reasons why hearing people do not take the deaf community seriously, but that's not what I'm saying. I know some of you firmly do not believe that any of the reasons I stated are true BUT I'm asking if it is possible that hearing parents may have these perceptions (even if its false)?
The reason why I am trying to list all the perceptions is because perhaps hearing parents feel that they may be too insulting to admit to the deaf community. It's easier to work with one when you know their fears.
I agree with you 100%. I don't think that a few critical people are the reason that the majority of hearing parents avoid the deaf community, either. But they don't seem to be very forthcoming regarding the actual reason, either.:shrug:
I think Daredevel's and my theories are more likely true.
Bingo!!!
I was thinking last night about this whole thing and I was thinking how Jill and I got accused of driving the parents away.
Well, I want to clear that up. When parents first join here, I am welcoming and supportive of them. I dont question nor criticize them for implanting their children or the educational choices they made for their child even if they say they chose oral-only. I remain nuetral about it. The reasons I got tough on them was when they made disrespectful comments about the Deaf community, ASL, give the implications that having speech skills is superior to ASL, that hearing kids are superiror to other deaf children, or simply make nasty comments about me. I wont sit back and be passive. I will speak up if I see anyone making these statements. Why should I sit back and let them say these false statements? They speak up if anyone spreads misinformation or makes nasty comments about CIs..that's their right and I support that. However, I feel when I speak up about them making false or nasty comments about ASL, the Deaf community, and Deaf schools, I am "responsible" for driving them away from AD?
Sure, I made comments to some of them that could have had better wording or stated in differently but guess what? They also are as guilty of the same thing too.
I have always took responsibility for my actions whenever I made comments that were wrong or unfair and apologized publicity. I have yet seen some of you do the same.
So, dont talk about Jillo and I being responsible for "driving" away the parents.
*not you, Buffalo* LOL!
I don't recall ever saying the two of you drive parents away. Even if jillio and you weren't around, I don't think many of those parents would stick around anyway. There are times when I think I'm too polite for my own good.
And we need people like you to speak out against those who would put down ASL even though there are times when I wish jillio would phrase it differently so she doesn't get in trouble with mods... or even get banned.
However, she is not at al the only one.. Rick has done his share as well. I still have not forgotten that post by cloggy about ASL either.
I think the parents are to blame more than deaf culture itself.
Especially those who delude themselves into believing that their CI implanted children will fit in better with that they define as "normal". They just can't stop being selfish long enough to consider the needs of their child.
It's as if the child is an extension of the parents' insecurities and if the child is Deaf and the parents insist on rejecting deaf culture while implanting their kids, they are adding fuel to the fire.
I'm puzzled as to why they insist on being a part of this community, though they may reject the idea that their child is Deaf in the first place.
As controversial as this may sound, this is how I feel about people who insist upon CIs as the "final solution" to deafness without considering the feelings of their children. Children deserve a choice.
Honesty hurts but it's much better than living a lie.
Not to point out the obvious, but....... didn't you just reject hearing parents and their choices just now?
Where do these hearing parents get those ideas from?.....
Hearing parents need to let go of the obsession of being judged as a "good parent" or a "bad parent".
Empathy.... Yes! that's what parents are looking for.........
The issue is not one of good or bad, but of being adult enough to put your own feelings aside in order to take the perspective of your child. It's called empathy, and if we don't develop it for our own children, who can we develop it for?
Where do these hearing parents get those ideas from?
Empathy.... Yes! that's what parents are looking for....
I don't recall ever saying the two of you drive parents away. Even if jillio and you weren't around, I don't think many of those parents would stick around anyway. There are times when I think I'm too polite for my own good.
And we need people like you to speak out against those who would put down ASL even though there are times when I wish jillio would phrase it differently so she doesn't get in trouble with mods... or even get banned.
However, she is not at al the only one.. Rick has done his share as well. I still have not forgotten that post by cloggy about ASL either.
It wasnt you...not at all.
Thanks..yea, I wish Jillo would phrase her statements differently too but she is a grown woman and only she is responsible for how she addresses others.
Yea, exactly...and I will continue to speak up if anyone spreads misinformation or lies about the Deaf community and ASL to correct and educate them. When it comes to putting down the Deaf community and ASL, then it is a different story cuz I resent that.
Not to point out the obvious, but....... didn't you just reject hearing parents and their choices just now?