It it really the deaf/Deaf community?

thanks for clarifying that, daredevil.

you know, I don't post much in here because some of you guys are just practically taking over AD by using your egos and "the-know-it-all". I may have grown up oral throughout my whole life but that doesn't give me the right to run over people that aren't like "the smart ones" that's called a hypocrite! As I have been reading some threads, I've noticed this circle of friends just going on and on running over most members intelligence and ended up shutting themselves out of AD due so the bullies here.


I don't care if you're hearing, a pyschiatrist, whatever you are.. you are a person.. you are human just like the rest of us. You have no idea what its like to be deaf.. you're not deaf.. so why are you barging in deaf people's lives and using your damn egos and running over people with your big words when most of them don't understand what you're saying or what the meaning is. how fair is that? you're not being fair. yes.. i'm talking to you jillio. whether anybody likes me or not. I don't give a hoot.

Shel90.. you used to be our friends a while back before jillio came into AD and you turned your back on the friends that were true with their feelings towards you and they (we) cared about you. you're a bright lady as i can see that. I definitely understand you came from oral which is fine. not a problem at all. but just remember, you "had" friends that cared for you and you turned your back on them. at least i used to think you were cool in my book and thought you were fun to chat with.

Nothing in here surprises me anymore. I just sit my ass down reading threads to threads.. that some members just can't seem to enjoy chatting and posting without some of you judging or criticizing or bashing. when one says.. please do not judge, criticize, bash and so on when you are one of them!

so this forum should become ALLHEARING! its practically taking over deaf's pride. that's my opinion.
 
JeepGirl said:
thanks for clarifying that, daredevil.

you know, I don't post much in here because some of you guys are just practically taking over AD by using your egos and "the-know-it-all". I may have grown up oral throughout my whole life but that doesn't give me the right to run over people that aren't like "the smart ones" that's called a hypocrite! As I have been reading some threads, I've noticed this circle of friends just going on and on running over most members intelligence and ended up shutting themselves out of AD due so the bullies here.


I don't care if you're hearing, a pyschiatrist, whatever you are.. you are a person.. you are human just like the rest of us. You have no idea what its like to be deaf.. you're not deaf.. so why are you barging in deaf people's lives and using your damn egos and running over people with your big words when most of them don't understand what you're saying or what the meaning is. how fair is that? you're not being fair. yes.. i'm talking to you jillio. whether anybody likes me or not. I don't give a hoot.

Shel90.. you used to be our friends a while back before jillio came into AD and you turned your back on the friends that were true with their feelings towards you and they (we) cared about you. you're a bright lady as i can see that. I definitely understand you came from oral which is fine. not a problem at all. but just remember, you "had" friends that cared for you and you turned your back on them. at least i used to think you were cool in my book and thought you were fun to chat with.

Nothing in here surprises me anymore. I just sit my ass down reading threads to threads.. that some members just can't seem to enjoy chatting and posting without some of you judging or criticizing or bashing. when one says.. please do not judge, criticize, bash and so on when you are one of them!

so this forum should become ALLHEARING! its practically taking over deaf's pride. that's my opinion.
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Thanks for sharing. Perhaps this is the attitude of rejection that others have spoken of.
 
My turn

Growing up, I had no clue about Deaf role models, Deaf culture, nor ASL even though I knew there were many deaf people who used sign language. I believed sign language was for deaf people who were inferior or werent as smart as I was. Yes, I snubbed them. I think it was the constant brainwashing I had recieved all of my life from my speech therapists, audiologist, teachers, family members, friends , friends of family, and parents' coworkers telling me that because I spoke so well I must be so smart and blah blah. I believed them so I transferred those beliefs onto my views of the Deaf community whenever I was exposed to them growing up. I believed that I didnt need to learn sign language and if they want to be friends with me, then they were gonna have to lirpead me and speak. Otherwise, they werent worthy of my time.

Then the problems started in middle school among my hearing peers and teachers...I started misunderstanding people, started having trouble keeping up in social situations, and etc. People told me that it was MY fault..that I wasnt paying attention, that I wasnt trying hard enough, or maybe I wasnt smart enough. So, I worked harder by practicing listening to the lyrics in my room for hours, practicing listening on the phone by calling strangers, trying to perfect my lipreading skills, and denying my deafness all for the sake of "fitting" in. The more I wasnt able to perfect everything, the shittier I felt about myself so I started doing other self-destructive behaviors to fill in that void I was missing. I started out by drinking to get drunk before going to high school parties so I can relax and be the fun person everyone likes, starving myself to become as skinny as I could so people can admire my body, charging my credit cards to the max for expensive shit so people can like me because I have fancy clothes, fancy technology, fancy furniture and blah blah, and making up lies about my life to myself as perfect and glamorous as I could be. When that didnt work I would go into deep depression and started lashing out against every little thing that when wrong. I was trying to be someone I couldnt be...a hearing person.

Then, I started taking ASL at the age of 25 to meet the foriegn language requirement cuz I had an ego that I would pass it easily because I was deaf and all. I was sooo wrong..sooo wrong. ASL was NOT easy to learn! I tried to socialize to improve my ASL in the Phx Deaf community but I had developed a repuation as this snobby oral deaf person so they rejected me BIG time. lauged at me when I told them I was trying to learn ASL. They said "So, now u want to learn ASL?? Kiss my ass!" I was so frustrated...gave up but still took ASL classes cuz I was fascinated by Deaf culture.

WEnt to Gally in 2000...thought all Deaf people would accept me right away cuz I knew some sign language and I was deaf. WRONG again...boy, did I go thru some shit from the Deaf community but I didnt give up thanks to my brother telling me to have faith.

The first day of classes at Gallaudet, I was sooo shocked by how damn easy communication was in the classroom. For the first time in my f***cking life, I had FULL access to all communciation, info and language at ALL times..one on one, classroom discussion, debates, and etc etch...no terps, no CART..no nothing...just natural like my hearing peers had growing up .

That was when I started getting angry...I was like "Why???" Why were my rights to full access to language, communication, education and etc denied like that? For the sake of good speech skills. I told my mom to "F***ck off " one night at a family renunion cuz everyone was laughing and sharing memories leaving my brohter and I fully left out. Before, I didnt know any difference but after my experience at Gally, I came with a totally different perspective and to see my family totally obivilous to my brother and my communciations needs really pissed me off that night. I told my mom that she and everyone else were very selfish to do that to us all of our lives. Not speaking of learning ASL but just to take the DAMN time to keep us updated to what eveyrone was saying. All it needed was for someone to repeat or fill us in...NOBODY did that...nobody! We were totally forgotten that whole damn night and my rage just build up so badly. My brother was used to it since he had a healthy balance of both. I didnt so that night I totally threw everything on my mom. AS a result, she locked herself in the bathroom for the next 2 days. No, I do not regret it at all..it was time. A lot of people were pissed at me but all I could remember was a sense of empowerment cuz all of my life I was always doing it "their" way. It was time for "my" way.

No, I am not angry at my parent cuz they didnt know any better which is why when I first joined AD I thought I could share my experiences so no deaf child could go thru what I went thru and have a healthy balance of both but like Liebling said, I was told that technology was better, that ASL wasnt needed and blah blah...how did that make me feel? Feel like I was back in the hearing world where everyone told me that I dont know crap cuz I am deaf. That was how I felt here on AD.


Now, it has been 11 years since I took that first ASL class and I am telling you...my life couldnt be better. I have a great network of friends whom I can communicate easily with, my family, my job wehre I am respected not looked down, and most of all..I finally learned how to love and accept myself and my deafness. Every child deserves that hence my passion to give every deaf child both worlds and both languages.
 
Thank you for sharing that, Shel. The point I get is, we have all, hearing parents and deaf adults, have experienced our share of rejection and anger and hurt. We are all human. When we deny those feelings, or project those feelings onto our children, our family, or a whole community, we only make ourselves more miserable and create more rejection. I had issues, you had issues, everyone here has had issues. The question is, do you choose to bury those issues, or do you choose to face them head on and deal with them? It is easy to blame others. It is difficult to accept responsibility for it ourselves.
 
JeepGirl said:
thanks for clarifying that, daredevil.

you know, I don't post much in here because some of you guys are just practically taking over AD by using your egos and "the-know-it-all". I may have grown up oral throughout my whole life but that doesn't give me the right to run over people that aren't like "the smart ones" that's called a hypocrite! As I have been reading some threads, I've noticed this circle of friends just going on and on running over most members intelligence and ended up shutting themselves out of AD due so the bullies here.


I don't care if you're hearing, a pyschiatrist, whatever you are.. you are a person.. you are human just like the rest of us. You have no idea what its like to be deaf.. you're not deaf.. so why are you barging in deaf people's lives and using your damn egos and running over people with your big words when most of them don't understand what you're saying or what the meaning is. how fair is that? you're not being fair. yes.. i'm talking to you jillio. whether anybody likes me or not. I don't give a hoot.

Shel90.. you used to be our friends a while back before jillio came into AD and you turned your back on the friends that were true with their feelings towards you and they (we) cared about you. you're a bright lady as i can see that. I definitely understand you came from oral which is fine. not a problem at all. but just remember, you "had" friends that cared for you and you turned your back on them. at least i used to think you were cool in my book and thought you were fun to chat with.

Nothing in here surprises me anymore. I just sit my ass down reading threads to threads.. that some members just can't seem to enjoy chatting and posting without some of you judging or criticizing or bashing. when one says.. please do not judge, criticize, bash and so on when you are one of them!

so this forum should become ALLHEARING! its practically taking over deaf's pride. that's my opinion.
Click to expand...


Thank you for sharing..

Here is my take...

No, it is the kids who come to our program who have been denied a full access to language and end up language delayed that made me feel strongly the way I do. Nothing about Jillo. This is not about a circle of friends, not about a clique, not about being "cool" in anyone's book, or etc....

It is about the children's rights to full access to language, communciation, self-identitiy, respect to the Deaf community...

Didnt I state several times that a hearing parent corrected me for generalizing and that I respected that ...I am asking for the same about the Deaf community?

Did I ever criticize any parents for implanting their children? No.

I ask tough questions because I am putting myself in the children's shoes, not in the parents' shoes. Yes, some of my questions to them can come across as pretty straightforward. It is all because of what I see year after year...

Again, I will ask this question...what's wrong with exposing deaf children to both?

That's all I want answered.

If you disagree with Jillo, you are entitled to your feelings and I have never stated otherwise that everyone MUST agree with Jillo.

This is about the children..

I have no idea what you are talking about ..friends that "cared" for me and that I turned my back on them. I have always stated from the beginning since I joined AD how I felt about deaf children...nothing has changed.

If I am not "cool" in anyone's book..I don't see how that is relevant to the issues facing many deaf children nationwide. I am the one who works with these children day in and day out and my priority is them first and foremost. This thread is about the children, not about who had friends or who was "cool" in anyone's book. If anyone has a problem with me, take it with me via PM instead of bringing it here.
 
shel90 said:
Thank you for sharing..

Here is my take...

No, it is the kids who come to our program who have been denied a full access to language and end up language delayed that made me feel strongly the way I do. Nothing about Jillo. This is not about a circle of friends, not about a clique, not about being "cool" in anyone's book, or etc....

It is about the children's rights to full access to language, communciation, self-identitiy, respect to the Deaf community...

Didnt I state several times that a hearing parent corrected me for generalizing and that I respected that ...I am asking for the same about the Deaf community?

Did I ever criticize any parents for implanting their children? No.

I ask tough questions because I am putting myself in the children's shoes, not in the parents' shoes. Yes, some of my questions to them can come across as pretty straightforward. It is all because of what I see year after year...

Again, I will ask this question...what's wrong with exposing deaf children to both?

That's all I want answered.

If you disagree with Jillo, you are entitled to your feelings and I have never stated otherwise that everyone MUST agree with Jillo.

This is about the children..

I have no idea what you are talking about ..friends that "cared" for me and that I turned my back on them. I have always stated from the beginning since I joined AD how I felt about deaf children...nothing has changed.

If I am not "cool" in anyone's book..I don't see the relevant to the issues facing many deaf children nationwide. I am the one who works with these children day in and day out and my priority is them first and foremost. This thread is about the children, not about who had friends or who was "cool" in anyone's book. If anyone has a problem with me, take it with me via PM instead of bringing it here.
Click to expand...

Exactly, shel. It is about the children.
 
JeepGirl - I had to laugh about your comment with Jillio and "her big words", because it is true. Sometimes I have to reread Jillio's posts twice to get my head wrapped around what she's saying. But hey, it's who she is.

Jillio and Shel - wow thanks for sharing your story! I really appreciated them.

I was also raised like you, Shel, in the sense that people were "impressed" with me because I spoke well. I wouldn't say that I thought deaf people doing sign language were inferior, but rather that they didn't have enough support. I thought deaf people who did sign language only had parents who had low faith in their child. That's why I'm surprised by AD, how a lot of people say that they were forced to do oral because I was raised thinking that doctors/audiologists had no faith in deaf children to be able to speak well enough. I honestly did not think I was that smart as I was perceived to be, which is why I had the mentality of "If I could do it, so can they." I find it so interesting how my old views on other deaf people so different from reality.
 
Daredevel7 said:
JeepGirl - I had to laugh about your comment with Jillio and "her big words", because it is true. Sometimes I have to reread Jillio's posts twice to get my head wrapped around what she's saying. But hey, it's who she is.

Jillio and Shel - wow thanks for sharing your story! I really appreciated them.

I was also raised like you, Shel, in the sense that people were "impressed" with me because I spoke well. I wouldn't say that I thought deaf people doing sign language were inferior, but rather that they didn't have enough support. I thought deaf people who did sign language only had parents who had low faith in their child. That's why I'm surprised by AD, how a lot of people say that they were forced to do oral because I was raised thinking that doctors/audiologists had no faith in deaf children to be able to speak well enough. I honestly did not think I was that smart as I was perceived to be, which is why I had the mentality of "If I could do it, so can they." I find it so interesting how my old views on other deaf people so different from reality.
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YW, Daredevel. Isn't it funny how our attitudes change when we are willing to examine them?

BTW, I don't mind clarifying...all one has to do is ask. I give the people here the benefit of the doubt, rather than just assuming they won't understand. Personally, I think it would be insulting to assume they wouldn't understand just because the majority of the posters are deaf. I figure they are as intelligent as anyone else. I sometimes have to ask someone what they meant, and I don't have a problem with anyone asking me to clarify, either.
 
Okay, I'll go along......... I grew up a CODA... in a time where there was no ADA, SSI, etc. I was my parents ears (for lack of a better phrase)and advocate. We did not have a phone in our home until I was 10 years old. My parents never saw the need. I would just walk up to town (3 blocks away) and use a public pay phone to make phone calls. I saw the injustice firsthand and experienced it. My mother (not my dad) threw it around that since she was Deaf, we were put on this earth to help her, nothing more. To her, that was the role of a hearing child. She was bitter and resentful of the hearing community and took jabs at me and my siblings every chance she got. My dad, on the other hand, complete opposite. He accepted who he was and worked very hard to provide a life for us. He owns two homes and has never asked for anything . As I became older, I became resentful of my mother's attitude towards me and life in general. I rebelled and told her that she was quite capable of doing things for herself- she didn't need me as her crutch. I remember the fighting when I resisted to do something- after all, my dad was capable, why wasn't she??? I wanted her to be as independent as much as she could, and she didn't want to. She clung to various family members to take care of her needs, and eventually they got tired and overwhelmed, and would push her aside. It took years of therapy to understand her and I do, but it doesn't change what has happened. I only share this with you so you understand that going forward, I was going to do everything I possibly could to make sure that if I ever had a deaf child, he/she would be independent. I became a job coach and an interpeter in the field, and I saw many, many heartbreaking situations in which Deaf children were left to fend for themselves, of being virtual strangers in their own homes. I remember making the committment at the time, "If I ever had a child who was deaf, I would defnitely send he/she to a bibi program". I remember the stories from my mom about how her hands would be tied up so she couldn't sign... and how my Dad didn't even know ASL until he was 22 years old.

Fast forward, I had a beautifual daughter... She was hearing... Then I had a set of twins, and I quickly suspected that something was wrong with one of them. I asked my MIL (there is deafness on my DH's side also) how did she know that she had a deaf child??? I remember her telling me that I was paranoid, the twins were premature, and I was over thinking the situation. But I knew in my heart that my son was deaf. I pulled strings and got him tested and sure enough at exactly 1 month old, my son was diagnosed as profoundly deaf. I was stunned. I always knew it could be a possiblity, but never really expected it. Until I met my DH, I never saw deafness go back to generations. I only knew of families that mother /father were Deaf and that was it. Never any children, or extended family. It was all new to me. I was devesated. I knew perfectly well what deafness would do to my child... I knew of the limiations and prejudice at work. I knew of people getting frustrated with a tty operator call and hanging up. I knew that REALISTICLY if my son wanted to be the President of a major wall street banking firm- it would most likely be out of the question. Not because he couldn't do it, but because of the barriers that other people have put up. I mourned for days. It was as if a part of me had died. I remember vividly that the last thing the audie said to me was that he was the perfect candidate for a ci. I immediately told her no thank you, we would not be interested and I knew which avenue to persue.

After my initial shock, I picked myself up and started the process of getting him enrolled in a program. I contacted EI and was told to look at ALL the programs in my area not just the one that I was familiar with. I told the social worker that it was pointless because I had already made up my mind as how my child was going to raised. She said she wouldn't be doing her job correctly if I didn't investigate every single avenue- so I went. And I remember vividly that day... I was in an oral only program with a pit in my stomach. I didn't even want to be there- it was against everything that I truly believed in (at the time). I walked into the classroom and really expected to see children struggling and sitting in hours and hours of speech. All the horror stories that my parents had told me growing up came flooding back to me. But then, I heard these children speak. It wasn't even about them speaking , as so much as it was that they were actually LISTENING and hearing what was being said. I couldn't believe my eyes. I was really stunned, to say the least. It was all new to me. There was no frustration on the children's parts and they were easily talking to each other and answering the teacher in appropriate ways. It truly was unbelievalbe. Right there and then, I had changed my mind. This was the route that we would choose for our child. This assistive device could actually bridge the gap from both worlds and the walls of isolation weren't that paramount any longer. We made this decision not because we didn't accpet our son- but because we wanted him to have a choice. Because if he , later on down the road , doesn't want the CI, he could always turn it off. If we waited, it's too late. My niece who eventually got implanted at the age of 9 1/2 says her biggest regret is that she was not implanted sooner. So I felt that by giving my son the CI, I gave him a choice later in life.

Because of my desicion, it became very ugly around our house- meaning extended family. Everyone had their 2 cents..and then it became worse with strangers. People I didn't even know would say the most nasitiest things to me- calling me a traitor, not accepting of a deaf child, and the worst of it all... my very own mother telling me that I am a lousy mother for deciding to implant my child.

As I have said in earlier posts, my son's deafness does not define him . It's just a part of who he is. I refuse to put him in speech for hours. That's not what it's all about. He is a child and I want him to grow up just like his brothers and sister. No hours upon hours of learning to speak- if he did great , if not so be it. Just because he is able to speak as well as a hearing child- that is just a bonus, but it was never expected. I would rather my child be out playing football (which he does) , baseball, basketball, and developing relationships with people than being stuck in therapy. I have offered deaf school to him in our many conversations and he is adamant about it- the answer is always no. I truly believe that we have given him the best of both worlds and because of this, he is extremely well adjusted child. He knows that he is deaf and is proud of who he is. I couldn't ask for anything more than that.
 
Babyblue said:
To be honest. I would be offended if an outsider that doesn't know my situation tell me how to raise my child.

By Saying that parents are the one that has to raise that child.

If they are doing what they think is best for them let them.

I know alot of children hearing or deaf was raised in all kinds of differences. One can say could have, should have, and this is how the parent want to raise them.

Now I can not find no evidence that raising a child with a CI totally oral to be child abuse. But I can find it to be against the Deaf culture.

Alot of deafs may be against it. But it is the parents that are doing what they think its best for their child.

I can go back and ask.... If my parents done "this" or "that". That is not going to help. I know my parents did their best. I don't dwell on how they could have raised me. That to me would be uncalled for. I'm just not talking about deaf issues but in child rearing in general.

The parents will be the one to face their child if what they have done in the past by their child.

I'm Simply saying it is up to the parents.

So if we sat here with a general forum of child rearing it would be a complete mess!
Especially when it come to one that how one thinks it is the best for Their child

We may not all agree but as long the parent provide the best under Their circumstances we really, truely have no say.

We can give them advice. But we can not criticize them.
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:gpost:
 
I am thankful I got the bi-bi experience prior to visiting an oral school. I knew I could make it with ease in the oral school when I visited the school, and and if I was enrolled into an oral school before visiting a bi-bi school, I would perhaps have a negative feeling toward bi-bi. But the oral school was so dead. Students there was plain boring and stupid, not thinking on their own. I couldn't imagine my sanity survive that place. Bi-bi was the place to met indepedent and exciting people. We had so much fun. A big thank to the inventor of sign language.

When a child behaves happy here or there, it really don't tell us much, from what I have seen.
 
Perhaps a bit OT, but see no reason that it should be all up to the parents how deaf children are raised. No one can do anything they want with their hearing children. Children have laws and rights. Deaf children follow laws created for hearing children. This leaves deaf children with less rights, and those who advocates this practice to continue are contributing to make life worse for thousands of deaf children. It's common wisdom that supporting parents to do anything they want with their child is just crazy. Parents on this forum have repeately shown how hard it's for them to do what's best for the child, I think the only solution is a law. Fortunately, this has recently been dicussed at goverment level in some countries, as results of extreme AVT and faith in CI have resultet in personal tragedies, even breaking laws for hearing children.
 
flip said:
Perhaps a bit OT, but see no reason that it should be all up to the parents how deaf children are raised. No one can do anything they want with their hearing children. Children have laws and rights. Deaf children follow laws created for hearing children. This leaves deaf children with less rights, and those who advocates this practice to continue are contributing to make life worse for thousands of deaf children. It's common wisdom that supporting parents to do anything they want with their child is just crazy. Parents on this forum have repeately shown how hard it's for them to do what's best for the child, I think the only solution is a law. Fortunately, this has recently been dicussed at goverment level in some countries, as results of extreme AVT and faith in CI have resultet in personal tragedies, even breaking laws for hearing children.
Click to expand...

In my opninion, that is the most ridculous statment I have ever heard. it is this type of attitude that pushes a hearing parent away from the D/deaf community. Here you have it , in black and white.
 
doubletrouble, I'm sad and sorry to learn about your childhood what and how you had been through with your Deaf parents. I can understand how you feel that's exact how I feel about my hearing parents what and how I had been through with them as well, that's why I recommended hearing parents to use sign language to their deaf children, no matter either they are CI/HA users or whatever. I respect parent's decision for their deaf children but all what I see mainly point for me is sign language, then deaf children won't feel reject, that's all.

Not every deaf/Deaf parents like what your parents did that... Yes, I know that not every hearing parents like my hearing parents did that... You come from Deaf generation and have no problem to expose your children with sign language then they can communicate with their deaf/Deaf relatives... Few (maybe few or some) hearing parents like Jillio who are willing to learn Deaf/deaf culture and want to learn anything how to understand/communicate with their deaf children because it's new to them. I do wish my parents like Jillio. Oh well...

Now, I have 2 hearing teenagers... we communicate each other with sign language and have no problem to understand both world... Mainly important that I make sure that my both hearing boys NEVER feel being leave out when we are at deaf community or visit at deaf friends'. That's why my hubby & I exposed them what I am... and what my hubby is. They know our friends.
 
Well, I have no problem to have hearing parents's POV here then I can learn where they come from but I have the problem for being denied and prove us wrong... They don't have any experience as being deaf/Deaf but we do.

To my opinion, I feel that it's not our responsiblity to drive some hearing parents away from Forum but their own choice. Why I say this?

Because if they really are interesting to learn about deaf/Deaf culture then they would share their posts in ANY threads outside of "Deaf Interests" sub-forum. Yes, they are free to leave "Deaf Interest" sub-forum alone to visit other threads like general chat, parenting, health, debate, etc. why can't they? Look at me, I didn't leave Forum because they disagree with my POV... I only leave some threads alone to visit other threads... why can't they do that? Why just Deaf Interest sub-Forum for ? :shrug:

I feel that they only registered the Deaf Forum to put us down and do if sign language is not important ... I have no problem if they correct us but put us down? I notice some hearing people jump on most threads under "Deaf Interests" sub-forum... then end :topic: and lock... I only see few hearing people like Jillio, Reba, Oceanbreeze, etc who make posts outside of "Deaf Interests". It shows that they are interesting to share with Deaf/deaf people as human being/normal...
 
doubletrouble said:
In my opninion, that is the most ridculous statment I have ever heard. it is this type of attitude that pushes a hearing parent away from the D/deaf community. Here you have it , in black and white.
Click to expand...

Sure you just aren't looking for excuses to push away the deaf community?
 
I really liked reading all of the personal stories, and hope more people get to share their stories here.
 
Jillio, I'm so glad you saw that nothing changed for your child. What an enlightened attitude! It is very inspiring to me to see such a loving parent in action.

Doubletree, your story was quite interesting to me and took away some of the mysteries for me regarding the decision process a parent goes through with implanting a child. Thanks for sharing such a heartfelt story. It is inspiring to see a confident and well adjusted child, regardless of the situation.

I may not know a lot about what is right or wrong or whatever the bigger picture may be, but I know that all a child needs is love and nurturing! Personally it annoys me when parents forget to do that in light of their children feeling inadequate or resentful in some ways. I'm not talking about the parents who remember to provide their children a very loving home environment, just the ones who forget... be it hearing or deaf parents :)

I tend to think there is a problem with parents being overzealous and appearing to isolating their kids in some ways, because it meant that they'd forget to make their kids feel loved and wanted in the process of trying to help them. I hope that helps the parents understand my concerns about kids getting nurtured; having all of their needs met, including the heart and a developing mind.
 
flip said:
Perhaps a bit OT, but see no reason that it should be all up to the parents how deaf children are raised. No one can do anything they want with their hearing children. Children have laws and rights. Deaf children follow laws created for hearing children. This leaves deaf children with less rights, and those who advocates this practice to continue are contributing to make life worse for thousands of deaf children. It's common wisdom that supporting parents to do anything they want with their child is just crazy. Parents on this forum have repeately shown how hard it's for them to do what's best for the child, I think the only solution is a law. Fortunately, this has recently been dicussed at goverment level in some countries, as results of extreme AVT and faith in CI have resultet in personal tragedies, even breaking laws for hearing children.
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I gotta tell you, this sounds a bit extreme with it becoming a law to me since I am pro-choice. USA is too diverse for that to happen, imo. I think the key is making sure the children aren't getting the short end of the stick in the process. The real issue for me is the dysfunctional aspects in relationships between parents and children and communities.
 
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