Getting rid of someone

lanapoo said:
Jiro, we have a history. Let's leave it at that. If I tell you to piss off, that means... Walk away. I want to hear nothing from you.

I've actually walked away from my relationship several times and fallen in love with someone else during that duration, but my boy kept finding a way to lure me back in. I just have a kind heart. I can't turn on my back on anyone, that's nearly impossible. I'll do my best... If he doesn't change at all, I'll just walk away. If he does change, I'l give him one more chance to prove himself although he knows how much he hurt me and that I'll probably never be able to trust him ever again.
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same ole' same ole'.

We all know what you're gonna do and you're not gonna listen to us anyway. Dunno why you're getting all upset and mouthy at me when you know I'm right and that my only intention is to hope you find a gentleman. I thought you have a kind heart?

:dunno:
 
Beach girl said:
RUN. Run, run, run, run, run. RUN.

If you really want to stay in touch with his mom, that's possible, although perhaps not advisable.

But RUN as fast as your little feet can take you from an abusive boyfriend who sleeps around with other women. Who in their right mind needs that???

Even if there weren't better guys out there (although there definitely are!), you don't need to spend one more minute with someone who treats you like that.
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That's what I'm thinking... Although it'll be very painful having to let something you've held onto for so long go.
 
Jiro I have every right to be "mouthy." Maybe you should think of the things you've said to me in the past as well?
 
lanapoo said:
Jiro I have every right to be "mouthy." Maybe you should think of the things you've said to me in the past as well?
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maybe you should think about things he did to you in the past? He abused you and you gave him a chance THREE times. Since you're willing to give him a chance for FOURTH times despite of abusive history... did what I do to you is worse than what he did to you???
 
Personally, I think that by going back you'd be making a mistake. Yes, keep up a relationship with his mother, however, at the end of the day, it's not worth the emotional abuse. This guy sounds like a complete asshole, and no guy's worth your attention if they're like that. I understand having a kind heart. I'm the same exact way, but at the end of the day, it's your safety that's on the line. I'm sorry, but no asshole is worth your life.

I encourage you to keep up the relationship with his mother if it's helpful to you, but ask her to stop encouraging you to get back with him. Honestly, if she cares that much for you she'll understand. It can be really hard to stand up for yourself, but this is a situation that warrants it. You'll be ok. You can get through this. You'll find someone who loves you as you are, Deaf or otherwise. A guy who can't wait to introduce you to his family, and who's proud to have you as a partner and to love and respect you.

This asshole's not him, and is not worth your time, much less your heart and your life.
 
StevieMont927 said:
Personally, I think that by going back you'd be making a mistake. Yes, keep up a relationship with his mother, however, at the end of the day, it's not worth the emotional abuse. This guy sounds like a complete asshole, and no guy's worth your attention if they're like that. I understand having a kind heart. I'm the same exact way, but at the end of the day, it's your safety that's on the line. I'm sorry, but no asshole is worth your life.

I encourage you to keep up the relationship with his mother if it's helpful to you, but ask her to stop encouraging you to get back with him. Honestly, if she cares that much for you she'll understand. It can be really hard to stand up for yourself, but this is a situation that warrants it. You'll be ok. You can get through this. You'll find someone who loves you as you are, Deaf or otherwise. A guy who can't wait to introduce you to his family, and who's proud to have you as a partner and to love and respect you.

This asshole's not him, and is not worth your time, much less your heart and your life.
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Thanks for your kind words. I'll do my best to try and keep him on the friendship only term although we still love each other massively. It's just that we're different. I don't deserve it and he deserves some perfect hearing girl. But he's missing out on what I have to offer.

I'd absolutely love to be with someone who actually introduces me to someone, "She's the one." We'll see.
 
You say this:

lanapoo said:
... If he doesn't change at all, I'll just walk away....
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But you also said this:

...I already gave him that chance like 3 times. He keeps on screwing it up....
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He already had his chance(s), and you didn't walk away.

If you break up for good, his mother will get over it.

If you stay close to the mother, you should really examine the reason why. Unless you and her son have children together (her grandchildren), I don't see a good reason for you sticking around her.
 
Reba said:
You say this:



But you also said this:



He already had his chance(s), and you didn't walk away.

If you break up for good, his mother will get over it.

If you stay close to the mother, you should really examine the reason why. Unless you and her son have children together (her grandchildren), I don't see a good reason for you sticking around her.
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Ha! We don't have any children together. I'm really a very forgiving person in general and it's the worst trait of mine.
 
lanapoo said:
Ha! We don't have any children together. I'm really a very forgiving person in general and it's the worst trait of mine.
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There's a difference between forgiving and enabling.
 
lanapoo said:
Thanks for your kind words. I'll do my best to try and keep him on the friendship only term although we still love each other massively. It's just that we're different. I don't deserve it and he deserves some perfect hearing girl. But he's missing out on what I have to offer.

I'd absolutely love to be with someone who actually introduces me to someone, "She's the one." We'll see.
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This may result in cutting him out of your life completely. It's painful, but it may be necessary. My biological father....well, it wasn't what I'd consider abuse, but our relationship was full of empty promises. He'd promise and promise and promise, and never follow through. It eventually got to the point where he tried to cross a line that should NEVER be crossed.

At that point, as much as I loved my dad, as much as I wanted him to see me as his little girl, and to have my daddy back like I remembered, I knew it was best that I don't contact him again. I haven't talked to him for at least four years now, and I'm better for it. A relationship with him wasn't worth putting myself through any more pain.

It's going to hurt, but if you cut him out of your life, and give yourself a while, you'll be able to see it more objectively. At that point, you'll see what the right path is for you. If keeping in touch with his mother hinders that, it might be best to tell her you're taking a breather from that relationship as well.

I wish you the best.
 
Carlitos said:
Is this physical abuse?
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It was in the past, but he stopped. Hasn't gotten physical with me in almost a year, but he still gets emotionally abusive when he feels that he's losing control of me. I've been incredibly patient and perfectly aware of his actions.
 
lanapoo said:
It was in the past, but he stopped. Hasn't gotten physical with me in almost a year, but he still gets emotionally abusive when he feels that he's losing control of me. I've been incredibly patient and perfectly aware of his actions.
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so what's the purpose of this thread? I'm very confused.

The thread title is "Getting rid of someone". And now it's "Getting back to someone"????
 
lanapoo said:
It was in the past, but he stopped. Hasn't gotten physical with me in almost a year, but he still gets emotionally abusive when he feels that he's losing control of me. I've been incredibly patient and perfectly aware of his actions.
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You are aware of his actions yet you would even consider taking him back?

I'm afraid you need more help than what you can get from an online forum. I hope you seek some counseling from a professional. Sincerely.
 
Jiro,

Maybe you're just too dumb and insensitive like you always have been? Leave this thread please and go post in politics, go start a fight with thewritealex or something.

xoxo
 
Reba said:
You are aware of his actions yet you would even consider taking him back?

I'm afraid you need more help than what you can get from an online forum. I hope you seek some counseling from a professional. Sincerely.
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Already seeing someone. Not really helping. You have to understand that I'm a very forgiving and loving person. I only want the best for most of the people I know. It's HIM that I want to seek help for. Not me. I just want him to get help, to improve his own life, for his mother and family and even for me if necessary. I'm willing to stand by him every step of the way.

It's the same concept of dating someone with a bipolar disorder. It's a very difficult situation all around, but you'd be grateful forever if you ever met someone who would stand by you.
 
Well me personally I have this anger against men who abuse women physically. I would beat the crap out of someone who ever laid a finger on a women better believe that, I would show up with my Cuban cigar and my buddy Bob (baseball bat). As you can see I'm new here but I love helping people in any way possible.

Let me tell you my advice since I don't know anyone here I don't want you to think I am taking sides. Hopefully you would take it. I am pretty sure you are a very smart and beautiful lady. There are tons of guys out there to settle down with a low piece of garbage like your boyfriend. You clearly stated he has physically abuse of you and still does it verbally. To me this is not a healthy gf&bf relationship nor will it get better in a marriage. It will be a completely hell life. Walk away from it, you can still keep communication with his mother if you guys have a good beautiful relationship. I am sure if his mother really loves you as a friend and cares for you she will understand your decision.

This people advice including Jiro is nothing but the truth. Wish you good luck and hopefully you chose for the best for you!
 
Carlitos said:
Well me personally I have this anger against men who abuse women physically. I would beat the crap out of someone who ever laid a finger on a women better believe that, I would show up with my Cuban cigar and my buddy Bob (baseball bat). As you can see I'm new here but I love helping people in any way possible.

Let me tell you my advice since I don't know anyone here I don't want you to think I am taking sides. Hopefully you would take it. I am pretty sure you are a very smart and beautiful lady. There are tons of guys out there to settle down with a low piece of garbage like your boyfriend. You clearly stated he has physically abuse of you and still does it verbally. To me this is not a healthy gf&bf relationship nor will it get better in a marriage. It will be a completely hell life. Walk away from it, you can still keep communication with his mother if you guys have a good beautiful relationship. I am sure if his mother really loves you as a friend and cares for you she will understand your decision.

This people advice including Jiro is nothing but the truth. Wish you good luck and hopefully you chose for the best for you!
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I have to ask you this... Do you know me?
 
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