Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Jiro said:
huh? that's not even the main pivotal argument in here. It's the people who are not comfortable with gay people in any matter. Recall a thread where a couple of men said - "as long as they do not touch me, we're cool". Some people have personal issue with it - could be religious reason. could be their POV.

I have no problem with working/living/celebrating/showering with gay people like the way soldiers do on daily basis but I acknowledge the existence of uncomfortable atmosphere that homosexuality can creates in any place.

Just because other countries allow openly gays in military doesn't mean those gay people are treated the same way as heterosexual people.
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They meant by " do not touch" as don't pinch their bottom, or flirty touch. Not a handshake type of touch. Unless they mean touch at all as if they have a plague. But men are like that. They don't even like hugs from their mom sometimes.
 
It's not just touching. I don't mind being around gay people. With some men you would never guess they are gay. With others its obvious. I know this one dude and he recently revealed he was gay. I would have never guessed. But since he came out he started getting into my space where it made me uncomfortable and I had to set him straight (no pun intended). Since then we are fine. There are many things outside of touching that could cause someone to be uncomfortable.
 
Reba said:
Do you honestly think that straight men are comfortable sharing close living quarters with gay men? Do you honestly think straight women are comfortable sharing close living quarters with straight men? Even if they aren't "sex fiends" there is an element of sexual tension involved, and you are the one being unrealistic if you don't realize that.
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No, I don't. But I think they need to get over their hang up. Sharing bunks and showers doesn't automatically lead to sexual tension. The sexual tension is put there because the parties involved decide to let it be there. But if both sides are comfortable in their skin, then there is absolutely no need for sexual tension to exist. It has very little to do with gay or straight too. There can be sexual tension between two straight men or two straight women just as there can be between a straight and gay person. Hate to break it to you but eliminating gay people won't break the sexual tension--people (whether gay, straight, blue or green) getting over their insecurities will.
 
rockdrummer said:
I really don't think there is a problem as long as nobody is trying to make any sexual advances or sexually harasses others.
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I agree. And sexual harassment is a separate issue. It doesn't have to do with gay or straight. One person who sexually harasses another, no matter what their orientation or the orientation of the person being harassed, is in the wrong.
 
rockdrummer said:
It's not just touching. I don't mind being around gay people. With some men you would never guess they are gay. With others its obvious. I know this one dude and he recently revealed he was gay. I would have never guessed. But since he came out he started getting into my space where it made me uncomfortable and I had to set him straight (no pun intended). Since then we are fine. There are many things outside of touching that could cause someone to be uncomfortable.
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It's not your place to assume someone is gay just because they appear gay. The only way you know someone is gay is when, like you said, the person tells you themselves that they are gay.
 
rockdrummer said:
not so much appearance other than the tat on the one dude that said "SeaHag" Behaviour, speech and mannerisims.
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So, they fit the stereotype of "gay"? Were you really sure about them being gay without asking or telling?
 
CJB said:
It's not your place to assume someone is gay just because they appear gay. The only way you know someone is gay is when, like you said, the person tells you themselves that they are gay.
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he didn't assume. The Guy told him he was gay, and ever since, he been getting in his space. But they straightened out their problems and he is no longer in his space.
 
Reba said:
So, they fit the stereotype of "gay"? Were you really sure about them being gay without asking or telling?
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Them admitting it may have had something to do with it.
Even without that it was pretty obvious as I mentioned before. I think you are taking don't ask don't tell out of context. Where that policy applies is in recruiting.
 
Tousi said:
Oh, I knew you were joshing; I only wanna know what the emoticon means, literally.
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Oh.....in this case I was using it as kind of......light in the loafers,,,, in response to RDs "obviously gay".....

But again I was kidding. I have no dog in this fight. I do think war time is a bad time to review the policy though.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
They meant by " do not touch" as don't pinch their bottom, or flirty touch. Not a handshake type of touch. Unless they mean touch at all as if they have a plague. But men are like that. They don't even like hugs from their mom sometimes.
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So 2 heterosexual men should not be hugging each other? aggressively manhandling each other? butt-patting?
 
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TXgolfer said:
Oh.....in this case I was using it as kind of......light in the loafers,,,, in response to RDs "obviously gay".....

But again I was kidding. I have no dog in this fight. I do think war time is a bad time to review the policy though.
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Ah, thanks; I was'nt digging into what you might or might not have insinuated. I really did want to know the literal.......in the event I ever have an opportunity to use it, I'd wanna do it right. :D

I wish Alex would add a "clapping hands" emoticon; I think it'd be real popular. Just an additional thought, not related to the above.
 
Jiro said:
So 2 heterosexual men should not hugging each other? aggressively manhandling each other? butt-patting?
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It's hard to outline what constitutes sexual harassment because almost anything that can be done can be done with sexual innuendo. :dunno:
 
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