Ask a Relay Opr!

[Hear Again]

Speaking only for myself here, YES it is rude and gross. If you wouldn't cough or sneeze or chew food DIRECTLY IN SOMEONES EAR, then its unacceptable and extremely rude to do it to a relay operator. So: If the person you are speaking with is noted by the the operator as chewing or doing something else obnoxious, please, think of your friendly neighborhood relay operator. ASK THEM TO STOP , and should you choose, TELL THEM ITS RUDE!

that's how i thought you'd feel.

fortunately, i've never had anyone make obnoxious noises during a relay call -- although i have had hearing people cough, sneeze or sniffle. when they do any of those things, all of them have been polite enough to excuse themselves.

if i do come across a hearing person who is rude or obnoxious and doesn't excuse themselves, i will definitely say something.

 

[Hear Again]

i have another question.

what determines the protocol for waiting on hold?

for example, the ip relay service i use has a policy of informing deaf/hoh/deafblind callers that a 3 minute holding time has expired and asks if i'd like to continue waiting.

does this differ from one relay service to another?

 

[Bend My Ear]

Since that doesn't happen where I work (i.e. we just wait on hold until otherwise instructed (( We can't do ANYTHING without being told to do so by the relay user, and a lot of them don't use common sense)) so we do not ask if the person would like to continue holding.) Having said that, it is another case of "Ground Rules"

There is no rule here that says we cannot do that, so it varies from operator to operator.

Next question if you please.

 

[Hear Again]

Since that doesn't happen where I work (i.e. we just wait on hold until otherwise instructed (( We can't do ANYTHING without being told to do so by the relay user, and a lot of them don't use common sense)) so we do not ask if the person would like to continue holding.) Having said that, it is another case of "Ground Rules"

There is no rule here that says we cannot do that, so it varies from operator to operator.

Next question if you please.

what do you do when a hearing person or deaf/hoh/deafblind person says a bad word (or a series of bad words) during the course of a conversation? does it offend you? i assume that even if it does, you have to ignore those feelings and convey the entire conversation without censorship.

also, i'm curious to know how you handle a conversation that is emotionally charged and upsetting (such as a family member telling a deaf/hoh/deafblind person that a relative has passed). have you ever been personally affected by such calls and is it difficult not to carry these emotions with you after work?

 

[pek1]

Hi Bend and Angry!

I use i711 and if I know that I'm going to get an answering machine, I put in the special instructions what to do. When there is a machine and I don't catch it, I ask for redial, leave message while I get 1 . . . 2 . . . at that time, I'm writing my message. I hope that's not rude. Also, there was a relay operator on here awhile back who was ticked off, which is understandable and she/he said we're quite rude. So, I started ending my call after relay asks if I want another call made, "No, thanks, relay! Have a great day!" Or whichever it is, evening, morning, holiday. I've received one response, which is nice. But, sometimes a simple phone call for me lasts more than 10 minutes, which I do make note of to relay. Isn't there a faster way of doing things sometimes?

Oh, by the way, i711 is set up that GA has the check mark. I also end "sk to sk."

Have a great day, relays! Seriously, you're all doing good work, even though us deafs don't say it very often.

 

[Bend My Ear]

what do you do when a hearing person or deaf/hoh/deafblind person says a bad word (or a series of bad words) during the course of a conversation? does it offend you? i assume that even if it does, you have to ignore those feelings and convey the entire conversation without censorship.

also, i'm curious to know how you handle a conversation that is emotionally charged and upsetting (such as a family member telling a deaf/hoh/deafblind person that a relative has passed). have you ever been personally affected by such calls and is it difficult not to carry these emotions with you after work?

Without getting specific on the call itself, I had one that stayed with me for a while. More often than not I come into work and essentially "Turn off my brain."

My job is to act as a human phone line and I try to do that to the best of my ability without getting invested in the call. As for anything in life though, some things are obnoxious and hurtful. The only real emotional thing that happens where we work is when its a Nigerian fraud call or a prank call where somebody (and it ranges from child - teenager - mid-life adult - very old people) does nothing more than try to humiliate the operator by making them say things that are racist, sexual in nature, foul language, etc.

For more information on this I would suggest checking out the site:

Stop Relay Abuse - Home - Stop fraud and obscene calls; Save Relay for those who need it

I found it very informative and I would be willing to bet you had little or no idea what else goes on at a relay center. Where I work...l if I had to venture a guess I would say there's about a 50 percent fraud/prank ratio to actual relay calls. Its unfortunate, but there you have it.

(Edit: It should also be noted that its not really the relay companies fault that this goes on. Relay is free for anyone to use, but intended for the deaf/HoH. Its like any other system in the universe: if it has the possibility of being abused, IT WILL. The only caveat being how badly it is abused. We cannot pick-and-choose who gets to use our service, and since deaf people have the right to place a nasty or prank call as well, we cannot say "No deaf person would do this, this must not be a deaf person!" and then hang up the call or something. Just not how the system is designed.)

To answer your question though, yes, when we are hired (again, only know about the policy where I work) we sign a document pledging to read whatever is typed no matter what.

When it comes to how we handle an emotionally charged call.. hmm... it depends on the relay operator (but I assume you saw that answer coming anyway). Typically we just react to what is going on (i.e. reading things with a tone of voice, exclamation, etc.) as though we were in your shoes having what is being discussed happening to us. To be more general: We read the message as we perceive the way we would think someone would sound if that were happening during a hearing/hearing phone call. How that sounds and all of those other socio-economic factors is based on the operators life experience. Don't know if that makes any sense or not, but that's how I would put it.

 

[Bend My Ear]

Hi Bend and Angry!

I use i711 and if I know that I'm going to get an answering machine, I put in the special instructions what to do. When there is a machine and I don't catch it, I ask for redial, leave message while I get 1 . . . 2 . . . at that time, I'm writing my message. I hope that's not rude. Also, there was a relay operator on here awhile back who was ticked off, which is understandable and she/he said we're quite rude. So, I started ending my call after relay asks if I want another call made, "No, thanks, relay! Have a great day!" Or whichever it is, evening, morning, holiday. I've received one response, which is nice. But, sometimes a simple phone call for me lasts more than 10 minutes, which I do make note of to relay. Isn't there a faster way of doing things sometimes?

Oh, by the way, i711 is set up that GA has the check mark. I also end "sk to sk."

Have a great day, relays! Seriously, you're all doing good work, even though us deafs don't say it very often.

To begin, I think I can safely say that when you say "Thank you operator" its appreciated. I don't think anyone in history has ever been pissed off at something thanking them. To put it another way: When you say "Thank you" after a call, its appreciated, but its not necessary. If we just relayed a call for you that lasted an hour or something of that nature, then yes, I would consider it polite to say something like "thank you." If you really wanted to get the message across, I would suggest acknowledging the fact that we just stayed on the line with you for an hour or more. That way we know that you understand that it took a lot of work to make sure everything was done properly for you and for such a long period of time. Again though, its not required.

To be perfectly frank, the best way to thank a relay operator will ALWAYS be use common sense during the course of your call.

Example: If you are signing (assuming you are deaf and use ASL) to someone face-to-face, would you tell them to sit in place in the middle of a conversation while you take 15 minutes to go to the bathroom?

Would you surf the internet while someone is speaking with you and periodically look over to say something like "Thats nice," or, "Okay." ??

NO! That would be extremely, extremely, extremely RUDE! At the risk of sounding crass: you are being an ASSHOLE.

Furthermore, if you are placing a call to .. oh I don't know -- a credit card company or something of that nature and you KNOW BEFORE HAND that they will ask certain questions or require a piece of paper with a claim number on it -- HAVE THOSE READY BEFORE PLACING THE CALL (Also in the case of connecting to relay and not having the phone number you want to call... what are you thinking, that you WON'T get an operator when try to connect? Wait until you have the number to call and THEN connect INSTEAD OF TELLING A RELAY OPERATOR AND THE PERSON YOU ARE SPEAKING WITH TO HOLD WHILE YOU LOOK FOR THE NUMBER! (It happens way too often and all it does is waste time and make one more operator unavailable to take another person's call)

If you are on a call with a business and you tell that person to wait while you look up that information that you should already have on hand you will most likely get a response like this, "Sure, no problem ga"

What they are really thinking is something entirely different. THEY ARE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU SO THEY WILL ALWAYS SOUNDS PLEASANT EVEN IF THEY DON'T MEAN IT, THEY WANT YOUR MONEY. I can assure you, this person is paid to put up with however you behave and will be polite regardless. What they are actually thinking is something like: "Are you freaking kidding me? That is completely rude!"

As for your last comment, I don't know what you mean about "isn't there a faster way of doing things?"

If I understand you correctly, the only thing that makes relay go faster is if you remember to use "ga" and all those things and your common sense. Being able to type quickly in response also helps.

(Edit: I thought it was also important to say that even if you personally thank a relay operator at the end of the call, you will most likely not receive a "No problem" or something like that. Its not because we don't WANT to say "You're welcome", its because we are NOT supposed to interact with the person placing the call for any reason unless its to clarify something about the call. I would love to sit and chat with some of my relay callers, but if I did I would be fired. Its really that simple. If its a choice between making sure you understand that you saying thanks was appreciated, or paying my bills -- I have to choose the ladder.)

(That however, is why I joined this forum. You're welcome and thanks for saying thanks!)

(Edit: I also neglected to touch on the process of recording a message to a machine. Here, where I work: we let you know that its a recorded message, we type the message as we heard it, we let you know the message has ended with "(beep)" and then ask if you would like to place a message. At this point you would type out the message you would like to leave (in its entirety and don't forget to let us know the message is complete with either "ga" or "sk" or whatever) and then we ask you to hold while we redial the number to leave your message. If, when we redial, someone answers the phone when we were dialing to leave the message, we inform you that someone has picked up the line. That's about all I can say in regards to that.)

NEXT!

 

[Hear Again]

one time i had a ca who refused to answer my question at the end of my call. they typed (recording to relay) and i didn't understand what it meant in the context of my phone conversation. when i asked the ca to explain what that meant, she didn't respond to my query. she didn't disconnect my call either, so i *know* she saw my question. grrr. sorry if i sound irritated about that, but it really annoyed me. i don't expect ca's to answer EVERY question i have, but i do expect *some* courtesy.

 

[Hear Again]

i've been guilty of ending a call with relay and then putting the ca on hold to find another phone number. fortunately, all of the ca's i've had have been patient enough to wait for me, but now that i've read your post, next time i'm going to make sure i have all of the phone numbers i need ahead of time.

 

[Bend My Ear]

i've been guilty of ending a call with relay and then putting the ca on hold to find another phone number. fortunately, all of the ca's i've had have been patient enough to wait for me, but now that i've read your post, next time i'm going to make sure i have all of the phone numbers i need ahead of time.

Its not so much that you do it at all, but how you do it. By that I mean: if you ask someone to hold, if its something that's going to take a minute or less, whatever. Its not a big deal. If its going to take a while (re: 1 minute or longer), realize you have the option of connecting again once you have found the number and save everyone, including yourself, the effort.

I must also note that it does me personally a world of good to know that there are those clients (deaf people) who understand whats going on, and more-over, pay attention to what we're saying. It can feel like none of the calls you take in a day are cared about by whom is placing the call if just one is rude.

Thanks for responding and we need MORE people in this thread to ask some questions! Tell your friends!

NEXT!

 

[Hear Again]

fortunately, when i look up a number, it's already on my computer, so all i have to do is switch windows/screens and it takes me less than a minute to locate what i'm looking for.

what do you do with an uncooperative hearing person who refuses to slow down their speech or use ga? do you leave it up to the deaf/hoh/deafblind caller as to how they wish to proceed?

 

[Bend My Ear]

fortunately, when i look up a number, it's already on my computer, so all i have to do is switch windows/screens and it takes me less than a minute to locate what i'm looking for.

what do you do with an uncooperative hearing person who refuses to slow down their speech or use ga? do you leave it up to the deaf/hoh/deafblind caller as to how they wish to proceed?

Typically you try to be as diplomatic as possible. I inform them several times that I need them to slow down, etc. If they are still being a jerk, they (the hearing person) probably notice my tone go from polite to subtly "impolite". I try not to make things more complicated for the person whom is making the call, but these people might as well be spitting in the relay operator's face too.

Also, I let the deaf person know that I asked the hearing individual to slow down, but they refused and now I just cannot keep up. This is my way of saying, "If you want to know what this person is saying, you're going to have to tell them to stop being a jackass."

If you have any other questions, SOUND-OFF!

NEXT!

 

[Bend My Ear]

It happened to me before too, but not the same how it was typed. I've got one that said "Oh it's another deaf person *sigh*" and when the operator typed that, I said "excuse me what does that suppose to mean?" and then the caller on another line said nothing. then I said "don't forget the operator tells me everything you say so watch what you say buddy." And then again the caller said nothing.

Working here for over a year, I have also noticed there are more than a few relay operators who will have it out with someone who says, "We don't accept relay calls."

You see a look of anger wash over the operators face as if to say, "The HELL you don't!" What happens next is a heated exchange on the deaf person's behalf. Its not really encouraged, but it does happen from time to time. Some of us like deaf people here and we don't take kindly to the fact that they are excluded for no reason, especially someone who is particularly rude in their statement.

I, myself, have taken a few uptight hearing folks to the whipping shed about refusing relay calls. I can't really discuss details, but lets just say they ended up taking the call.




"Do not screwith with me, lest I will bring down upon thy head the hammer of justice!"

-- From the book of Bend My Ear's: Taste My Justice
-- Job 3:16

 

[Hear Again]

-- From the book of Bend My Ear's: Taste My Justice
-- Job 3:16

hence, your screen name here on ad.

 

[Hear Again]

has any hearing person joked with you during a relay call about being the opposite sex of the caller? for example, you're a male ca and the deaf/hoh/deafblind person is female. i've had alot of hearing people tell me how strange it is to communicate with a male ca when i'm female. they *know* i'm female, but the voice they're hearing is male. by the way, i know vco is an option, but when you use braille equipment to make relay calls, it's much easier to read the braille display and respond accordingly instead of reading the braille display and trying to balance the phone on my shoulder (especially since i am a two-handed braille reader).

 

[Cheri]

has any hearing person joked with you during a relay call about being the opposite sex of the caller? for example, you're a male ca and the deaf/hoh/deafblind person is female. i've had alot of hearing people tell me how strange it is to communicate with a male ca when i'm female. they *know* i'm female, but the voice they're hearing is male. by the way, i know vco is an option, but when you use braille equipment to make relay calls, it's much easier to read the braille display and respond accordingly instead of reading the braille display and trying to balance the phone on my shoulder (especially since i am a two-handed braille reader).

This remind me of a time when I talked to my hearing ex boyfriend over the relay service, and the operator was a male, and when I told him "I love you, baby" a male operator had relayed that message and my ex respond was "uggg.. I'm trying to remember my girlfriend is saying this to me" and when I start playing around with him by talking dirty, and his respond was "CHERI!! You're making me feel unconformable!" It was so friggin hilarious!! I couldn't stop laughing so much.

 

[Hear Again]

This remind me of a time when I talked to my hearing ex boyfriend over the relay service, and the operator was a male, and when I told him "I love you, baby" a male operator had relayed that message and my ex respond was "uggg.. I'm trying to remember my girlfriend is saying this to me" and when I start playing around with him by talking dirty, and his respond was "CHERI!! You're making me feel unconformable!" It was so friggin hilarious!! I couldn't stop laughing so much.

 

[AngryOpr]

I just watched this movie last night!! Heath Ledger stole the show!! Wow, did he do a good job! Maybe he killed himself because he thought it was the best he would ever do and he could never top it?

Have any of you encountered deaf people using the relay as a 900 line?

Like Bend said, you really can't call a "900" number, because you have to be able to accept charges to your phone bill, but, I will say I have had some calls that would be in similar context to a 900 number, I can't go into detail, obviously. :roll:

i'm glad you were assertive enough to speak up. i was a new relay user at the time, so i didn't feel confident enough to say something.

however, if that happened to me nowadays, i wouldn't hesitate to say something. if i'm manic or depressed, the hearing person better watch out because like my avatar says, my mood can change at the drop of a hat.

by the way, i've also had hearing people say, "tell her..." and the ca has to interject by saying, "please talk to the caller."

That's our procedure as well, we direct the hearing person to speak directly to the caller (you) at all times. Helps with a lot of confusion issues.

i have another question.

what determines the protocol for waiting on hold?

for example, the ip relay service i use has a policy of informing deaf/hoh/deafblind callers that a 3 minute holding time has expired and asks if i'd like to continue waiting.

does this differ from one relay service to another?

This is from relay to relay, our policy is very friendly to the deaf user, we don't take any control over the call, although sometimes if we are on hold for a very long time (like 30+ minutes) we may prompt the caller for a response, just to make sure that they are still on the line with us. Otherwise, we will hold infinitely with the deaf user.

what do you do when a hearing person or deaf/hoh/deafblind person says a bad word (or a series of bad words) during the course of a conversation? does it offend you? i assume that even if it does, you have to ignore those feelings and convey the entire conversation without censorship.

also, i'm curious to know how you handle a conversation that is emotionally charged and upsetting (such as a family member telling a deaf/hoh/deafblind person that a relative has passed). have you ever been personally affected by such calls and is it difficult not to carry these emotions with you after work?

Yes, we voice everything exactly as it is typed, no matter what. Racial slurs, curse words, dirty talk, etc. Sometimes it can really take a toll on you, luckily our service provides HR assistance if we need to sit down and discuss the call with someone who is upper management (the only people we are allowed to discuss call content with). We just sit down and talk with them about it, and they try to help us cope with some of the stuff we do experience. However, like Bend said, a lot of the time it's pretty easy to "disconnect" the call, or just blankly read the sentances, without giving much thought to what it actually means in the context of the conversation.

When we have a call that is particularly emotional, we try to express the caller's emotions in our voice as well, and deaf users ARE able to express how they want their message to be read, for instance "(opr say this angrily) I have been waiting for 1 hour! Where is my pizza!" or whatever. Sometimes its hard to guess the emotion the caller wants behind their words, so that helps.

Hi Bend and Angry!

I use i711 and if I know that I'm going to get an answering machine, I put in the special instructions what to do. When there is a machine and I don't catch it, I ask for redial, leave message while I get 1 . . . 2 . . . at that time, I'm writing my message. I hope that's not rude. Also, there was a relay operator on here awhile back who was ticked off, which is understandable and she/he said we're quite rude. So, I started ending my call after relay asks if I want another call made, "No, thanks, relay! Have a great day!" Or whichever it is, evening, morning, holiday. I've received one response, which is nice. But, sometimes a simple phone call for me lasts more than 10 minutes, which I do make note of to relay. Isn't there a faster way of doing things sometimes?

Oh, by the way, i711 is set up that GA has the check mark. I also end "sk to sk."

Have a great day, relays! Seriously, you're all doing good work, even though us deafs don't say it very often.

We just have an automated thank you message that we send to every caller, don't take it personally if we do not respond personally to your gratitude, trust me it is appreciated!

The best way to speed up calls is to just be well prepared, and give the opr all the information you can before placing the call. Also, paying attention to the call is a big one, we have to pay attention, it's nice if you do too.

As far as leaving messages, I usually prefer if the caller types out the message entirely BEFORE I start to redial to leave a msg, just in case they are aren't finished by the time I start reading it, I don't want to catch up with their typing.

one time i had a ca who refused to answer my question at the end of my call. they typed (recording to relay) and i didn't understand what it meant in the context of my phone conversation. when i asked the ca to explain what that meant, she didn't respond to my query. she didn't disconnect my call either, so i *know* she saw my question. grrr. sorry if i sound irritated about that, but it really annoyed me. i don't expect ca's to answer EVERY question i have, but i do expect *some* courtesy.

That is just rudeness on the part of that particular CA. I will try to answer every question that I can regarding that particular call, if it's a question more slated toward the relay process in general or our policies, we have a customer service department to field those kinds of questions, so we will ask if that's who you would like to speak with.

i've been guilty of ending a call with relay and then putting the ca on hold to find another phone number. fortunately, all of the ca's i've had have been patient enough to wait for me, but now that i've read your post, next time i'm going to make sure i have all of the phone numbers i need ahead of time.

fortunately, when i look up a number, it's already on my computer, so all i have to do is switch windows/screens and it takes me less than a minute to locate what i'm looking for.

what do you do with an uncooperative hearing person who refuses to slow down their speech or use ga? do you leave it up to the deaf/hoh/deafblind caller as to how they wish to proceed?

Not nearly as big of a deal if it only takes you a matter of seconds. Especially if it's not your first call. It is kind of annoying though, when a caller connects to the relay operator and doesn't even have the number for their first call ready. Like, man, take the time to get the number before u push connect!! :roll:

If the hearing party continues to speak too quickly or keeps omitting "GA", all we can REALLY do is to KEEP ASKING. Sometimes you will have to ask them to slow down 4 or 5 times in the middle of one long response, and also remind them to say "GA" every single time. It gets aggravating, but we can't do much more than that. We can let you know what is happening, so if we do, maybe help us out by saying something to them yourself

has any hearing person joked with you during a relay call about being the opposite sex of the caller? for example, you're a male ca and the deaf/hoh/deafblind person is female. i've had alot of hearing people tell me how strange it is to communicate with a male ca when i'm female. they *know* i'm female, but the voice they're hearing is male. by the way, i know vco is an option, but when you use braille equipment to make relay calls, it's much easier to read the braille display and respond accordingly instead of reading the braille display and trying to balance the phone on my shoulder (especially since i am a two-handed braille reader).

Not me personally, I think some people are caught off guard by that, but I haven't had anyone really say anything about it. We can't really converse with the hearing party between responses either, just like we can't really talk too much to the caller, so it's just kind of one of those things they have to get used to.

 

[LuciaDisturbed]

i have another question.

what determines the protocol for waiting on hold?

for example, the ip relay service i use has a policy of informing deaf/hoh/deafblind callers that a 3 minute holding time has expired and asks if i'd like to continue waiting.

does this differ from one relay service to another?

I HATE THAT!

Hearing people don't get asked that. Why should we get asked that question? Keep on holding til we say to hang up. Geez.

Another HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE pet peeve of mine with relay calls is when I'm in the MIDDLE of speaking to someone and it is an extremely important call, the operator announces that she has to switch operators. DAMMIT, I'm in the MIDDLE of a VERY IMPORTANT CALL and you switch operators? Geez, that will confuse the hearing person I am speaking to, and, due to that, many hearing people have hung up on me for that! PLEASE, for the love of all that is good and holy, WAIT until I have completed the call, and then change operators. PLEASE! I do not care how long the phone call has been, DON'T DO IT UNTIL I HAVE COMPLETED THE CALL. If I have the ability to type for much longer periods of times than the period of time that has passed before you switch operators, then so can you. Geez!

 

[AngryOpr]

I HATE THAT!

Hearing people don't get asked that. Why should we get asked that question? Keep on holding til we say to hang up. Geez.

Another HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE pet peeve of mine with relay calls is when I'm in the MIDDLE of speaking to someone and it is an extremely important call, the operator announces that she has to switch operators. DAMMIT, I'm in the MIDDLE of a VERY IMPORTANT CALL and you switch operators? Geez, that will confuse the hearing person I am speaking to, and, due to that, many hearing people have hung up on me for that! PLEASE, for the love of all that is good and holy, WAIT until I have completed the call, and then change operators. PLEASE! I do not care how long the phone call has been, DON'T DO IT UNTIL I HAVE COMPLETED THE CALL. If I have the ability to type for much longer periods of times than the period of time that has passed before you switch operators, then so can you. Geez!

Keep in mind that it's not like we get relief because we are tired of typing, it's usually because we have to use the restroom!!