Should people be shunned for not living up to their potential?

Jiro and Bott, I never saw Good Will Hunting, so I don't know what his issues were. For me, I have a fear of going away to college. It's irrational I know, But I fear for my life. I'm not crazy, just have nervousness problems about being safe, so I decided to turn down going to Cornell because I have anxiety. I went to NYU and took the subway back and forth every day to go home. My parents can't complain because I was on scholarship, so I didn't waste any of their money. I don't care about my so-called potential. Here's the question: just because I could, does that mean I should (become a dr of vet medicine)? My comfort zone says I will be happy caring for animals, so being a tech (assistant) will be very satisfying for me.

I don't plan on living at home forever. I just do not want to go away from home and live at college. My fear won't allow it. When I finish the vet tech school (18 month course but I have a head start from my NYU animal science degree) I will get my own place. I just don't want to live at college. Straight As in school doesn't teach you to have straight As in compassion to animals. My parents mean well, but they brainwashed me all my life because I was "smart". Smart doesn't equal happiness in life in my opinion. I have un-brainwashed myself.

So my opinion in this debate topic is that a person isn't a waste if they don't live up to their potential in academics. I have potential in other areas, too, like loving to care for animals even if I'm cleaning up their poop instead of operating surgery on them. I can still be a valuable member of society. Wow it feels good to be assertive for myself for a change!
 
mimsy where did you buy a brain shampoo?
oh good will hunting was about a poor kid who was really bright but didnt have the capitals to get a higher education to use his well founded genius (in maths) got nothing to do with unleashing potential, its more about potential to be somewhere if you're bright enough, so in a round about way its really supporting the unsopportive parents who wants their kids to be successful in order to 'show off' their off-spring's success, mainly because they didnt know any better, like that old confortmist's formula; education=success=happiness.
 
This thread has inspired me to want to watch Good Will Hunting movie.

I appreciate anyone who wants to have a career helping animals.
 
All I remember about Good Will Hunting was how much they used the FU*K word over and over!!! It was hard to watch for me!!
 
Mimsy said:
Jiro and Bott, I never saw Good Will Hunting, so I don't know what his issues were. For me, I have a fear of going away to college. It's irrational I know, But I fear for my life. I'm not crazy, just have nervousness problems about being safe, so I decided to turn down going to Cornell because I have anxiety. I went to NYU and took the subway back and forth every day to go home. My parents can't complain because I was on scholarship, so I didn't waste any of their money. I don't care about my so-called potential. Here's the question: just because I could, does that mean I should (become a dr of vet medicine)? My comfort zone says I will be happy caring for animals, so being a tech (assistant) will be very satisfying for me.

I don't plan on living at home forever. I just do not want to go away from home and live at college. My fear won't allow it. When I finish the vet tech school (18 month course but I have a head start from my NYU animal science degree) I will get my own place. I just don't want to live at college. Straight As in school doesn't teach you to have straight As in compassion to animals. My parents mean well, but they brainwashed me all my life because I was "smart". Smart doesn't equal happiness in life in my opinion. I have un-brainwashed myself.

So my opinion in this debate topic is that a person isn't a waste if they don't live up to their potential in academics. I have potential in other areas, too, like loving to care for animals even if I'm cleaning up their poop instead of operating surgery on them. I can still be a valuable member of society. Wow it feels good to be assertive for myself for a change!
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What better way to prepare yourself to be alone than to go away and live at college on your own? The longer you put it off, the harder it will be to do it. By staying home and refusing to be independent, it could be a sign to your parents that you're indecisive about what YOU want to do.

I graduated high school, but stayed with my parents for a couple years while I went to community college. I finally moved out and got my own apartment. Later, I went to New York for college and lived in the dorms during my entire 8 years in college (except for the summer where I lived in apartments on/off campus or at friends' houses off campus). It was the best feeling because I was able to make friends who were there for me.

You're right. Straight A's won't teach you compassion for animals, but it will help you help animals better. You don't have to get straight A's in everything, but just enough to get you by. With all of that knowledge, you could become an assistant and help the vet better than before.

What if you saw a spot, but wasn't educated enough to know it was bad? The vet didn't see it right away and makes a wrong diagnosis. What if you were educated enough (not top in the field, but enough to notice the signs) and mentioned that spot to the vet. "Oh, thanks for telling me about that!" The vet makes a proper diagnosis and the owners will thank you for it later. :)
 
VamPyroX said:
...You're right. Straight A's won't teach you compassion for animals, but it will help you help animals better.
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The families she serves would certainly feel better knowing that their pet is in the hands of someone who knows what she's doing, and didn't just scrape by in school with barely passing grades.

What if you saw a spot, but wasn't educated enough to know it was bad? The vet didn't see it right away and makes a wrong diagnosis. What if you were educated enough (not top in the field, but enough to notice the signs) and mentioned that spot to the vet. "Oh, thanks for telling me about that!" The vet makes a proper diagnosis and the owners will thank you for it later. :)
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Yep.
 
VamPyroX said:
What better way to prepare yourself to be alone than to go away and live at college on your own? The longer you put it off, the harder it will be to do it. By staying home and refusing to be independent, it could be a sign to your parents that you're indecisive about what YOU want to do.

:)
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Vam, when I was 14 years of age something horrible happened to my cousin when she went away to college. I loved her so much, she was like a big sister to me as I have no sisters. I was messed up when it happened, it made me afraid to leave home. I go away to Italy and England every summer but I stay with grandparents in both countries, so it's still safe and like home to me. I'm see a therapist once a month, used to be twice a week, and diagnosed with anxiety disorder. I am trying so hard to get over this, I don't like being a nervous wreck about college life. I'm 19 (will be 20 on 31st December) and I know I'm too old to be like this, but I swear I'm trying to get well. When I finally move out I will come here to alldeaf and we can celebrate.

You are all so supportive, you make me cry with love.

I have to get back to class now. Talk to you later. <3
 
Grummer said:
mimsy where did you buy a brain shampoo?
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beer_shampoo.jpg
 
LOL, now, That's different!, and beer washes down my brain? a little bit, but i sure aren't gonna DRINK THAT !! LOL

reason i said brain shampoo is that the 'sign' for brainwash' is like washing your head with a fish but palm towards the head, and its strokes is kinda like a gently back/forth motion much same way as you'd might do with 'rub, scrub' your head when washing your hair with shampoo...

oh yea brain shampoo is gonna be a kind of a violation to animals rights, or breaching the entrence to the local morgue or a few... LOL!!...eww ..and now guess what...im adding this to my scribbling down for a script/ideas in that "long process of gathering ideas" to put away for a future horror film to make ! ha ha ha
 
mimsy said:
straight as in school doesn't teach you to have straight as in compassion to animals. My parents mean well, but they brainwashed me all my life because i was "smart". Smart doesn't equal happiness in life in my opinion. I have un-brainwashed myself.
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+1
 
Grummer said:
mimsy where did you buy a brain shampoo?
oh good will hunting was about a poor kid who was really bright but didnt have the capitals to get a higher education to use his well founded genius (in maths) got nothing to do with unleashing potential, its more about potential to be somewhere if you're bright enough, so in a round about way its really supporting the unsopportive parents who wants their kids to be successful in order to 'show off' their off-spring's success, mainly because they didnt know any better, like that old confortmist's formula; education=success=happiness.
Click to expand...

That's not what I remember the movie being about. It was about an intelligent kid who kept himself dumbed down for sake of his friends and social life who were nowhere as intelligent. It wasn't until his best friend chewed him out for not being motivated to aspire to his potential that he saw how truly stupid he was being.
 
Mimsy said:
Jiro and Bott, I never saw Good Will Hunting, so I don't know what his issues were. For me, I have a fear of going away to college. It's irrational I know, But I fear for my life. I'm not crazy, just have nervousness problems about being safe, so I decided to turn down going to Cornell because I have anxiety. I went to NYU and took the subway back and forth every day to go home. My parents can't complain because I was on scholarship, so I didn't waste any of their money. I don't care about my so-called potential. Here's the question: just because I could, does that mean I should (become a dr of vet medicine)? My comfort zone says I will be happy caring for animals, so being a tech (assistant) will be very satisfying for me.

I don't plan on living at home forever. I just do not want to go away from home and live at college. My fear won't allow it. When I finish the vet tech school (18 month course but I have a head start from my NYU animal science degree) I will get my own place. I just don't want to live at college. Straight As in school doesn't teach you to have straight As in compassion to animals. My parents mean well, but they brainwashed me all my life because I was "smart". Smart doesn't equal happiness in life in my opinion. I have un-brainwashed myself.

So my opinion in this debate topic is that a person isn't a waste if they don't live up to their potential in academics. I have potential in other areas, too, like loving to care for animals even if I'm cleaning up their poop instead of operating surgery on them. I can still be a valuable member of society. Wow it feels good to be assertive for myself for a change!
Click to expand...

Isn't it possible to become a vet while still living at home?

Considering your life with your parents, you may not understand it, but long term hunger hurts. Especially if you have no way to earn enough to solve the problem.

Of course if your parents are actually so wealthy that you have a large trust fund, ignore this advice.
 
Grummer said:
mimsy where did you buy a brain shampoo?
oh good will hunting was about a poor kid who was really bright but didnt have the capitals to get a higher education to use his well founded genius (in maths) got nothing to do with unleashing potential, its more about potential to be somewhere if you're bright enough, so in a round about way its really supporting the unsopportive parents who wants their kids to be successful in order to 'show off' their off-spring's success, mainly because they didnt know any better, like that old confortmist's formula; education=success=happiness.
Click to expand...

no. he was a natural born genius who just didn't care about his potential because he wanted to be with his "brothers" at home and live a simple life as a janitor and construction worker(?). the professor (shrink) wanted him to aim high and to do more for the world since he has a potential to do more and better for the world. later in the end, he finally realized it and did it.
 
:cheers:Machine ghost and Jiro, ok yep you both are right!, i didnt remember the film that well, but yip, OK thanks for pointing this out, Cheers:cheers:
 
Bottesini said:
Isn't it possible to become a vet while still living at home?

Considering your life with your parents, you may not understand it, but long term hunger hurts. Especially if you have no way to earn enough to solve the problem.

Of course if your parents are actually so wealthy that you have a large trust fund, ignore this advice.
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The only university in New York state with a veterinary college is a 5 hour drive from where I live. There aren't any veterinary colleges in New Jersey, where I could have possibly commuted if it was right over the bridge or tunnel from Manhattan. I thought I could go away to school, but I'm really not ready. I'm happy that I found a solution, to go to a local community college for the technician program. No scholarship, but it isn't expensive being a city school. I'm very happy with my decision. My parents are supportive, but they throw in their disappointment.

My parents aren't wealthy, and I don't have any kind of trust fund, large or small. LOL Sorry to laugh, but wow I wish I did have a trust fund. We're just a regular NYC family. My parents have good jobs, but we're no where near rich.

Jiro said:
no. he was a natural born genius
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Then there's no way to compare me to Good Will Hunting! I'm no genius, just a fast learner.

The funny thing is in the dishwasher thread, I said I sometimes dream about being a dishwasher and the heck with school, but those are the times when I'm feeling stressed and just want to escape life's hassles.
 
Mimsy said:
I used the "cousin" and the "paralegal" thing as an example for generalization, but yes this is happening to me. My parents are very strict when it comes to education. I graduated high school at 15 and finished 3.5 years of university graduating early at 19. I excelled in math and science and I wanted to be a veterinarian. My parents were so proud of me. I got early accepted into vet school and a week before class started I backed out for several reasons. I decided I wanted to be a veterinary technician instead, not a doctor. I just decided so what I'm smart but I don't want the stress since I already have anxiety disorder from a family trauma years ago that screwed me up (a murder in the family).
I have since enrolled in an 18 month vet tech program right here where I live and my parents are disgusted that I am not "living up to my potential". I just want to be HAPPY, OMG why can't they see that. They don
't want to understand my feelings. They see me as the smart kid who's ruining her life. That makes me VERY sad. I'm NOT ruining my life. Just because I can be a doctor, should I?????? I can still work in a hospital setting helping animals. I didn't want to leave home yet to go to the vet doctor uni, especially without my dog who I NEED to keep me calm.

They had me confused because I at first thought they had a good reason to call me waste of a brain, but now I know it's their problem not mine, and I really wish they would be proud of my choice. I have always done what they wanted, never disappointed them. But they know I have anxiety problems and they're making it worse for me by putting me down, like they're ashamed of me.

Ok vent over. :laugh2:
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Your parents are probably just concerned because Vet techs just don't earn much. It's a low wage job, but it is your life. There are valid reasons why people back off of high stress jobs. In federal service, I earn peanuts with a M.Ed. and I'm not thrilled about it. My Judo teacher reminded me that the GS 12s and 13s also deal with a lot of stress, and they're the fall guy if something goes wrong. I only need to focus on doing my job well so I don't have that weight in my life. I deal with anxiety as well for which I take medication. Maybe you could see a therapist and get on something to help you deal with all the stresses you're going through? When you feel stronger, you may opt to be a Vet - or you might move into training dogs or another field of study involving the care of animals? Medication can really help you and sometimes we need to be on something to help us through difficult times. You clearly have to be feeling overwhelmed and no one needs to have that in their life.

The bottom line, is only you know what makes you happy. They may always be this way though because they're your parents and they love you and just want the best. Try not to be so frustrated by their behavior - that's typical parents for you. :)

Laura
 
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Two things: Wanting is not the same as having. And, schooling is not the same as working.

Finances first, happiness later: That's how it works.
 
Trace Adkins song lyrics to Ladies Love Country Boys :
She grew up in the city in a little subdivision
Her daddy wore a tie, mama never fried a chicken
Ballet, straight-As, most likely to succeed
They bought her a car after graduation
Sent her down South for some higher education
Put her on the fast track to a law degree

Now shes coming home to visit
Holding the hand of a wild-eyed boy

With a farmers tan

Shes riding in the middle of his pickup truck
Blaring Charlie Daniels, yelling, Turn it up!
They raised her up a lady but theres one thing
They couldnt avoid
Ladies love country boys

You know mamas and daddies want better for their daughters
Hope theyll settle down with a doctor or a lawyer
And their uptown, ball gown, hand-me-down royalty

They never understand why their princess falls
For some camouflage britches and a southern-boy-drawl

Or why shes riding in the middle of a pickup truck
Blaring Hank Jr., yelling, Turn it up!
They raised her up a lady but theres one thing
They couldnt avoid
Ladies love country boys

You can train em, you can try to teach em
Right from wrong but its still gonna turn em on

And they go riding in the middle of a pickup truck
Blaring Lynyrd Skynyrd, yelling, Turn it up!
You can raise her up a lady but theres one thing
You just cant avoid
Ladies love country boys
They love us country boys

Parents may want one thing but their kids have their own ideas to what they want in life. :)
 
Bottesini said:
Considering your life with your parents, you may not understand it, but long term hunger hurts. Especially if you have no way to earn enough to solve the problem.
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Lau2046 said:
Your parents are probably just concerned because Vet techs just don't earn much. It's a low wage job, but it is your life.
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VacationGuy234 said:
Two things: Wanting is not the same as having. And, schooling is not the same as working.

Finances first, happiness later: That's how it works.
Click to expand...


Then I'd better start looking for a rich husband, quick!

Just joking about the husband, but damn life is hard.

Laura, I guess they see my brothers having good jobs and they know (and I know) I won't be able to have my own apartment here in Manhattan on a tech salary. I'm in my dishwasher mood this evening.

Yes, therapy and medication for my specific issues...covered.

So I gather from all the comments that it's not right to put someone down for "not living up to their potential", BUT it IS right to remind them about the practicalities of surviving independently and making a living.

Good advice and comments from all.
 
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