Should people be shunned for not living up to their potential?

i was going to be a systems analyst, or Computer Programmer, or Draughtmans for engineering, or even a Mechanical Engineer,but i was sooo confused there was too much to learn that ididnt have any focus at all,you are lucky...

if you're home and family oriented with normal living and have a comfort zone..then do be careful...Vet studies is hardly a 'losers' way' no fkk way, they get paid handsomely and rewarded more (and punished more ) for facing harsh reality with other peoples pets...real question is, is that what you really want, can you handle it?..the money bits IS Meant to the least of your worries,,like conversely if you cant handle this then you'd still have no life, and no money...but doubtful that's in your case...
 
Mimsy said:
Say you have a cousin who went to pre-law school in university, graduated early with straight As, and was accepted into a prestigious Law School. His family was thrilled and basically prepared him for success all his life. At the last minute, your cousin says "I don't want to be a lawyer, I want to be a paralegal". For whatever reason. His family keeps telling him that he's not living up to his potential. But he's happy going for paralegal studies instead of doctor of jurisprudence.

Question, is the family correct in trying to make him see that he's wasting his potential since paralegal is no where near where he has the ability to become?

Is it ok if a person doesn't live up to their intellectual potential as long as they are happy in a "lesser" field or career? Or it is accurate/fair to call them a waste of a brain.
Click to expand...

A person chooses what they want in life - good and bad. While a child may not become what their parents hope for them, but it doesn't mean that they won't find happiness following their own lead. Maybe he chose to be a paralegal because he didn't want the stresses and complications that come from a more demanding field? His happiness should come first and IMO, I think his parents should be happy he's doing something he likes and earning a steady income. As for the question of living up to one's potential, numerous books have been written on this subject alone. It's fairly well documented that most people, regardless of their profession, do not live up to their full potential - so everyone can take a number....I hardly consider choosing a profession you enjoy, a waste.

Laura
 
Frisky Feline said:
mimsy, i hope you will come around here. I do enjoy reading your post, and learn something about your issue.

ignore others who think you should do better but you know your limits but i know when you reach to age 24 or so then you will see things change then you d be more comfortable to change anywway.
Click to expand...

I used the "cousin" and the "paralegal" thing as an example for generalization, but yes this is happening to me. My parents are very strict when it comes to education. I graduated high school at 15 and finished 3.5 years of university graduating early at 19. I excelled in math and science and I wanted to be a veterinarian. My parents were so proud of me. I got early accepted into vet school and a week before class started I backed out for several reasons. I decided I wanted to be a veterinary technician instead, not a doctor. I just decided so what I'm smart but I don't want the stress since I already have anxiety disorder from a family trauma years ago that screwed me up (a murder in the family).
I have since enrolled in an 18 month vet tech program right here where I live and my parents are disgusted that I am not "living up to my potential". I just want to be HAPPY, OMG why can't they see that. They don
't want to understand my feelings. They see me as the smart kid who's ruining her life. That makes me VERY sad. I'm NOT ruining my life. Just because I can be a doctor, should I?????? I can still work in a hospital setting helping animals. I didn't want to leave home yet to go to the vet doctor uni, especially without my dog who I NEED to keep me calm.

They had me confused because I at first thought they had a good reason to call me waste of a brain, but now I know it's their problem not mine, and I really wish they would be proud of my choice. I have always done what they wanted, never disappointed them. But they know I have anxiety problems and they're making it worse for me by putting me down, like they're ashamed of me.

Ok vent over. :laugh2:
 
Mimsy said:
I used the "cousin" and the "paralegal" thing as an example for generalization, but yes this is happening to me. My parents are very strict when it comes to education. I graduated high school at 15 and finished 3.5 years of university graduating early at 19. I excelled in math and science and I wanted to be a veterinarian. My parents were so proud of me. I got early accepted into vet school and a week before class started I backed out for several reasons. I decided I wanted to be a veterinary technician instead, not a doctor. I just decided so what I'm smart but I don't want the stress since I already have anxiety disorder from a family trauma years ago that screwed me up (a murder in the family).
I have since enrolled in an 18 month vet tech program right here where I live and my parents are disgusted that I am not "living up to my potential". I just want to be HAPPY, OMG why can't they see that. They don
't want to understand my feelings. They see me as the smart kid who's ruining her life. That makes me VERY sad. I'm NOT ruining my life. Just because I can be a doctor, should I?????? I can still work in a hospital setting helping animals. I didn't want to leave home yet to go to the vet doctor uni, especially without my dog who I NEED to keep me calm.

They had me confused because I at first thought they had a good reason to call me waste of a brain, but now I know it's their problem not mine, and I really wish they would be proud of my choice. I have always done what they wanted, never disappointed them. But they know I have anxiety problems and they're making it worse for me by putting me down, like they're ashamed of me.

Ok vent over. :laugh2:
Click to expand...

:hug:
 
MOD, please close this thread since it's not a debate. Thank you.


Edited to add this:

MOD, don't close this thread. Please see my post #33 for the explanation. Maybe there's debate potential after all. :)

You all are the BEST!
 
Last edited:
Mimsy said:
Say you have a cousin who went to pre-law school in university, graduated early with straight As, and was accepted into a prestigious Law School. His family was thrilled and basically prepared him for success all his life. At the last minute, your cousin says "I don't want to be a lawyer, I want to be a paralegal". For whatever reason. His family keeps telling him that he's not living up to his potential. But he's happy going for paralegal studies instead of doctor of jurisprudence.

Question, is the family correct in trying to make him see that he's wasting his potential since paralegal is no where near where he has the ability to become?

Is it ok if a person doesn't live up to their intellectual potential as long as they are happy in a "lesser" field or career? Or it is accurate/fair to call them a waste of a brain.
Click to expand...

I think it depend on what the person does with their life . I think people are forgetting what is more importance in a person life , their happiness or how much money they can make. I think it would be best to support the person if they found a job they're happy with. I had a friend that got accepted to Radcliffe College and she turned it down and became a drunk . I thought that was as waste of a brain. I agree with Reba , too many families try to live their live through their child. That is why we see so many little girls being forced to look like little hookers and put on a TV fashion show. Their mothers is trying to live through their daughters .
 
Mimsy said:
MOD, please close this thread since it's not a debate. Thank you.
Click to expand...
Well, you did ask for our opinions. Obviously, we aren't all going to have the same views.
 
Mimsy, that is a good idea to close this thread after we all had talked about it. At least you got something what you are looking for.
 
Mimsy said:
I used the "cousin" and the "paralegal" thing as an example for generalization, but yes this is happening to me. My parents are very strict when it comes to education. I graduated high school at 15 and finished 3.5 years of university graduating early at 19. I excelled in math and science and I wanted to be a veterinarian. My parents were so proud of me. I got early accepted into vet school and a week before class started I backed out for several reasons. I decided I wanted to be a veterinary technician instead, not a doctor. I just decided so what I'm smart but I don't want the stress since I already have anxiety disorder from a family trauma years ago that screwed me up (a murder in the family).
I have since enrolled in an 18 month vet tech program right here where I live and my parents are disgusted that I am not "living up to my potential". I just want to be HAPPY, OMG why can't they see that. They don
't want to understand my feelings. They see me as the smart kid who's ruining her life. That makes me VERY sad. I'm NOT ruining my life. Just because I can be a doctor, should I?????? I can still work in a hospital setting helping animals. I didn't want to leave home yet to go to the vet doctor uni, especially without my dog who I NEED to keep me calm.

They had me confused because I at first thought they had a good reason to call me waste of a brain, but now I know it's their problem not mine, and I really wish they would be proud of my choice. I have always done what they wanted, never disappointed them. But they know I have anxiety problems and they're making it worse for me by putting me down, like they're ashamed of me.

Ok vent over. :laugh2:
Click to expand...

They are probably very worried that you will live in poverty when they are gone.

A veterinarian has a much better chance to be self supporting than a vet tech.

The veterinarian also does more good for animals.

I wish there had been funds and opportunity for me to be a veterinarian.
 
potential isnt as important as passion. potential is capitalism' way of promoting self hatred through failure of reaping wealth, its a big lie hidden under the idealistic guise of the dreams of the glories of riches. A Deadly sin of Capialism. (Grummer 2011:26)
 
Last edited:
Reba said:
Well, you did ask for our opinions. Obviously, we aren't all going to have the same views.
Click to expand...

Oh Reba, I don't have a problem with keeping this thread open. I always welcome all opinions. Honestly, it started to sound like I was looking for sympathy and I really am not. That's why I didn't think it was debate material after all. But if it stays open, ok here's the question again:

Is it wrong for a person to not live up to their potential?

Please understand, I just got a bit embarrassed that by the support and even though I appreciate it VERY much, I don't want my alldeaf friends to see me as a "poor me" type, even when I sound like it sometimes!:hug:
 
Frisky Feline said:
Mimsy, that is a good idea to close this thread after we all had talked about it. At least you got something what you are looking for.
Click to expand...

FF, I was afraid I was starting to look like a whiner, that's why I thought close the thread if it wasn't a debate. You have been so nice to me. You all have. Now I'm embarrassed I asked for the thread to be closed! Oy!:doh::dizzy::Ohno::dunno2:
 
Mimsy said:
Oh Reba, I don't have a problem with keeping this thread open. I always welcome all opinions. Honestly, it started to sound like I was looking for sympathy and I really am not. That's why I didn't think it was debate material after all. But if it stays open, ok here's the question again:

Is it wrong for a person to not live up to their potential?

Please understand, I just got a bit embarrassed that by the support and even though I appreciate it VERY much, I don't want my alldeaf friends to see me as a "poor me" type, even when I sound like it sometimes!:hug:
Click to expand...
Got it. :)
 
Grummer said:
if you're home and family oriented with normal living and have a comfort zone..then do be careful...Vet studies is hardly a 'losers' way' no fkk way, they get paid handsomely and rewarded more (and punished more ) for facing harsh reality with other peoples pets...real question is, is that what you really want, can you handle it?...
Click to expand...

Grummer, the thing is, I went from vet ambitions to vet tech ambitions, which is like being a vet assistant. I don't feel like I can handle the stress of going away to vet school. I can become a vet tech and still live at home while I study. And I will be very happy to be a vet tech.

Mom and dad say: You went to college so you can get into VETERINARY SCHOOL and now you tell us you're going to VETERINARY TECHNICIAN (assistant) school?????

Anyway, I started classes on 5 September, so the answer is YES. :laugh2:
 
Mimsy said:
Mom and dad say: You went to college so you can get into VETERINARY SCHOOL and now you tell us you're going to VETERINARY TECHNICIAN (assistant) school?????

Anyway, I started classes on 5 September, so the answer is YES. :laugh2:
Click to expand...

As a rule of thumb, the first year's salary should cover at least the cost of the education to be a good career choice.

But besides that, parents just don't understand.... :roll:

And considering they haven't paid for your education, I don't think they can protest too loudly. Maximing your earnings power is nowhere the same thing as maximizing your brain's potential. School is for being educated, not learning.
 
ah.... a case of Good Will Hunting :)
 
Bottesini said:
Good WIll Hunting was a poor kid who desperately wanted to maximize his potential but didn't have the means to do so.
Click to expand...

oh? Isn't it that Good Will Hunting was a kid who had a potential but did not want to use it because he did not care for it until one day... a few people who care about him showed him a way?
 
Back
Top