Raising Children

My dad always been spoiling me since I was little girl. I cried, then dad gave up and gave me everything what I want. I kept crying everytime when he said no then gave up again again again..Now he become bad habit of not sayin no anymore. When I asked him, he always said ok sure, ugh! He think I will cry again so he dont want me to cry thats why he gave me before I gonna to cry or whatever. so since raise, I asked dad all the times, not my mom.

Cuz when I cried and screammmm loud ever out of my lung in store before..with my mom but she just ignored me. She didn't even embarrassed about other people looked at us. Mom always said no no whenever I asked for something. So later, I was like 7 yrs old, I finally stopped cry, never beg mom anymore. I always go to my dad..My mom said pity on my dad.
 
damienmommy said:
Right on! I am tired of some of people being judge on me about being mother with kid.. Like when my son was like 6 months old, we rode on the train to see my dad. Stranger woman came to me and telling me that pacifier is bad for kids. I was like umm ok thanks for telling me. And also, when we went to my school to watch the volleyball games recently. I brought the Mcdonalds for my kid to eat for dinner during volleyball games. My old ex bf walked by and said "you are bad mother, he eat mcdonalds! Not good for his healthy."..Front of some of people. It embarrassed me. I was like huh he don't eat mcdonalds everyday. Ugh. He's always been jerk to me about my kid. By the way, he's not father of my baby's.

Also, I did used the powder on my kid for changing the diaper. Someone said "Don't need powder cuz I never use it for my kids."..to me. I was like ok I don't care. I want my kid to feel so comfortable with smooth inside diaper without feel sticky after wipe ya kno. In my opinion ok.

And so many things that they judged on me.
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i hate it when i see people outside and looking at other people and judging them by the way they act with their kids. it is their children they should be allowed to do what they think is best as long it doesnt not harm the child like abuse. I am a childcare worker and other people should maybe make a suggestion and not tell people they have to do this.this.this. And a pacifier for a 6 month old is fine, even childcare professionals say its fine!


Thats my 2 cents
 
I don't pay my boys with money or materials for their good grades, chores or good behavior but praise them with compliments because my boys should not be taught to respond to money/material and think money/material is everything.

I don't pay them for their good grades because they should learn to understand that their good grades should be something value for themselves and their future, not for money and materials... I take my boys to their favorite resturant to celebrate their good grades.

I don't pay them for their chores because I want them learn what help and respect is about...

I don't pay them for their good behavior but discipline them into right path... to teach them what right or wrong.

Yes, my boys received monthly allowance from us since they were little because it teaches them to be responsible with money, (split up for savings and spend...)

Example:

My boys know for long that their bedrooms are their responsiblity. I taught them to clean their bedrooms since they were little. Now they are teenagers, have hard time doing chores in their own bedrooms... I repeat tell them to do that because their rooms need to be clean badly... Sure, they help me to carry heavy things, do with garden etc. but their own bedrooms? My boys were like :eek3: when I told them firm that I don't like to repeat about chores in their bedroom for weeks to months so that's time for them to pay me out of their allowance to clean their rooms... If they want to clean their rooms to aviod for pay me then do that by 19th December... It took my youngest son two days to clean his bedroom and promised that he will mop his bedroom floor this weekends... :shock: and said he will keep his bedroom clean time to time and then said that he don't mind to clean his oldest brother's bedroom if he didn't done by 19th December then he have to pay him... :lol: I'm thrilling either his oldest brother can do that by 19th December to aviod for pay his youngest brother or me to clean his bedroom... My oldest son said that he will done his bedroom this weekends... :hmm:
 
That's very strange for someone to judge a mother for allowing her 6 months old infant to use a pacifier. :ugh: 6 months old is still a baby. (sometimes there's stupid people out there.)

I've seen a 5 years old kid use a pacifier and that's bad if you ask me. 5 years old kid is kinda too old for a pacifier--time to drop it. :lol:
 
Cheri said:
That's very strange for someone to judge a mother for allowing her 6 months old infant to use a pacifier. :ugh: 6 months old is still a baby. (sometimes there's stupid people out there.)

I've seen a 5 years old kid use a pacifier and that's bad if you ask me. 5 years old kid is kinda too old for a pacifier--time to drop it. :lol:
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Yes, I second that... I was like :scratch: that someone judge a mother for allow her 6 months old baby to use a pacifier... I have seen some children use pacifier up to 2 to 3 years old... *shrug*
 
Liebling:-))) said:
Yes, I second that... I was like :scratch: that someone judge a mother for allow her 6 months old baby to use a pacifier... I have seen some children use pacifier up to 2 to 3 years old... *shrug*
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Yeah, but doctors recommend to take out the pacifier at 6 months old, because of their teeth, the same time when you teach your infant how to drink out of the sip cup. :)
 
Cheri said:
Yeah, but doctors recommend to take out the pacifier at 6 months old, because of their teeth, the same time when you teach your infant how to drink out of the sip cup. :)
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Yeah, I know...

My oldest son used a paficier until he was over 1 year old... and gave up due my trick... I cut pacifier without him see it... He picked up and look odd at damage paficier... and then throw it away and forget... :giggle:

My youngest son don't use paificer because he depends on my breasts for milk for long 9 months until he drink sip cup...
 
Liebling:-))) said:


My boys know for long that their bedrooms are their responsiblity. I taught them to clean their bedrooms since they were little. Now they are teenagers, have hard time doing chores in their own bedrooms... I repeat tell them to do that because their rooms need to be clean badly... Sure, they help me to carry heavy things, do with garden etc. but their own bedrooms? My boys were like :eek3: when I told them firm that I don't like to repeat about chores in their bedroom for weeks to months so that's time for them to pay me out of their allowance to clean their rooms... If they want to clean their rooms to aviod for pay me then do that by 19th December... It took my youngest son two days to clean his bedroom and promised that he will mop his bedroom floor this weekends... :shock: and said he will keep his bedroom clean time to time and then said that he don't mind to clean his oldest brother's bedroom if he didn't done by 19th December then he have to pay him... :lol: I'm thrilling either his oldest brother can do that by 19th December to aviod for pay his youngest brother or me to clean his bedroom... My oldest son said that he will done his bedroom this weekends... :hmm:
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wow that's such a good idea! I will do that to my kid when he's older enough to kno how to clean bedroom. :hmm:
 
Cheri said:
That's very strange for someone to judge a mother for allowing her 6 months old infant to use a pacifier. :ugh: 6 months old is still a baby. (sometimes there's stupid people out there.)

I've seen a 5 years old kid use a pacifier and that's bad if you ask me. 5 years old kid is kinda too old for a pacifier--time to drop it. :lol:
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Yeahh, I saw about 4 yrs old use a pacifier too. My kid stopped last October. Which he was 2 yrs and 3 months old. I tried to hide the pacifier but then he didn't forget abt it and asked where pacifier..I tried to change the diff subject. And also, when I put him to bed. He refused sleep without pacifier..He keep stay awake all night. I gave up and gave him pacifier..he finally sleep. etc till last Oct..FINALLY he break the habit and stopped use pacifier from now on.

Few weeks ago, we visited my dad's house, my kid found the pacifier on shelf. He use it. i was like what?! nooo I took it away so fast and hided it. I don't want him being cry again about pacifier but he just confused and then moved on. whew.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
Yes, I second that... I was like :scratch: that someone judge a mother for allow her 6 months old baby to use a pacifier... I have seen some children use pacifier up to 2 to 3 years old... *shrug*
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Yea, my friend who don't have kids yet but she said she wouldn't ever give her future kids the pacifier..I was like ok, lets see what happen later.
 
Liebling:-))) said:

Yeah, I know...

My oldest son used a paficier until he was over 1 year old... and gave up due my trick... I cut pacifier without him see it... He picked up and look odd at damage paficier... and then throw it away and forget... :giggle:

My youngest son don't use paificer because he depends on my breasts for milk for long 9 months until he drink sip cup...
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Hahahaha, so funny..abt ur oldest son and the pacifier. lol I remember my son's pacifier was on the floor, and somehow my chair was rolling back..on the pacifier which I didn't know. So I saw it and picked it up then put on the table, I was planning to throw the trash can later because it's damage..but son found it and using it. lol he didn't notice and dont care.

My 2nd cousin still breastfeeding kid, she's soon to be 3 yrs old!!! It's first time for me to see that during thanksgiving day.:eek3:
 
Liebling:-))) said:

Yeah, I know...

My oldest son used a paficier until he was over 1 year old... and gave up due my trick... I cut pacifier without him see it... He picked up and look odd at damage paficier... and then throw it away and forget... :giggle:

My youngest son don't use paificer because he depends on my breasts for milk for long 9 months until he drink sip cup...
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:giggle: My first son loves his pacifier he must have it, or he'll scream, the doctor recommend me to break the habit of pacifier at 6 months old, because the longer he rely on the pacifier the more attached he will be with the pacifier and it'lll be harder to take it away.

I'm like :eek: I don't think my son would be very happy to hear that, because he is already attached to it. So, I tried what the doctor suggested me to do, it went not too good, it was a bumping ride, then he made it through without it in a couple days without thinking about his pacifier. :lol: My second son never got attached to his pacifier, he rarely ever use it, so it was so much easier to take it away. (pieces of cake)
 
Actually, a pacifier for an infant is a good thing. The time they spend doing the sucking motion not only comforts them, but it also assists with brain development. It only becomes a negative when they begin to get teeth. Then the pacifier can alter the bone development and the position of the teeth, and it is time for them to wean from the pacifier and start to learn to use a cup.
 
jillio said:
It only becomes a negative when they begin to get teeth. Then the pacifier can alter the bone development and the position of the teeth, and it is time for them to wean from the pacifier and start to learn to use a cup.
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yes Agreed. that did happen to my girl. Her dentist told me to "time to take your pacifier off" as i agreed with him in front of her in dentist office. My girl was listening to our converation. She was only 2 years old. As i explained to her and she was kind of resisting at first but accepted it evenutally. Her teeth was bad at first, in a few years later, Her teeth came back to normal. It can cause speaking so delay too.

I am not ashamd to admit that but I did learn something, Oppies. then, my son, that i did manage to ask in a nicely explanation to my boy about the pacificer and he did a great job without a pacifier once he hits 1 year old.
 
Byrdie714 said:
I think we have a different definition of bribery....

Now--I didn't "bribe" her all the time. I made the connection in the grocery store when she was throwing her tantrum. I just pulled out my wallet because I was getting ready to grab her and go back home. Then she stopped. I still didn't reward her.

The next trip to the grocery store-we had a talk about how she was to behave and a chore. I gave her a little grocery list of what we needed since the grocery store also had "kiddie carts". I also told her that she would be monetary paid for the chore. She got praised for good behavior.

Anyway--I find it that if you are going to the grocery store--make a list for the kids as well as it keeps them occupied and we actually had fun doing it! :)
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And telling my daughter if she acted up, she will have to stay home instead of shopping me the next time. She knows I'd ditch her if I have to. LOL
 
jillio said:
Have to agree with you on this, Cheri. Children are a member of a family, and therefore, need to be taught that a family functions by all members making a contribution. That is how they learn responsibility. I don't believe in rewarding children for contributing to the family by doing assigned chores, etc. They should be rewarded for going above and beyond what is expected of them. Likewise, bribing a child into good behavior only teaches them that we expect them to be bad, and will gladly pay them for being good because we don't expect them to be good.
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Yes! I agree big time!
 
Anyone who makes a comment about taking away my daughter's pacificer automatically gets on my shit list. And that is a list you don't want to be on!
 
jillio said:
Actually, a pacifier for an infant is a good thing. The time they spend doing the sucking motion not only comforts them, but it also assists with brain development. It only becomes a negative when they begin to get teeth. Then the pacifier can alter the bone development and the position of the teeth, and it is time for them to wean from the pacifier and start to learn to use a cup.
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I have no kids myself and I do my VERY best not to share my opinions on the soother issue.

Growing up, my parents did not give us the soother because they believed the soother hindered our teeth growth. My niece and nephews all didn't use the soother as well because my two sisters didn't believe in using it as well.

I admit to doing this .. I do make a sour face when I see a 3 or 4 year old toddler sucking on a soother. I know parents in this thread will not appreciate this BUT a toddler should not be using a soother when the toddler should be using a sippy cup.
 
Mrs Bucket said:
I have no kids myself and I do my VERY best not to share my opinions on the soother issue.

Growing up, my parents did not give us the soother because they believed the soother hindered our teeth growth. My niece and nephews all didn't use the soother as well because my two sisters didn't believe in using it as well.

I admit to doing this .. I do make a sour face when I see a 3 or 4 year old toddler sucking on a soother. I know parents in this thread will not appreciate this BUT a toddler should not be using a soother when the toddler should be using a sippy cup.
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Agreed. One of my nephews used a pacifier until he was 3....consequence: 7 years of orthodontics to correct the damage done. His daughter also was a "binky baby" until she was about 3, and is showing the same type of tooth and bone alignment that he had. No doubt, she will also go through expensive and uncomfortable orthodontics.
 
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