Mom of deaf son seeking help from the deaf community

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ndalrymple

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I am a mom of a 2 1/2 year old deaf boy, we have recently found out that if we want him to go to a deaf school then we have to apply when he is three, the closest provincial school for the deaf is at least three hours away, I know I want him to go to a deaf school when he is older but for now I would like to have him in a mainstream school with his brother and sister, my husband on the other hand wants him to start in a deaf school from the beginning his view is that he will be better educated and I think he is worried that he won't make many friends or that people will tease him. I would like to know what the opinions of people who went to either mainstream or deaf schools or both so that we can make an informed decision that is in his best interest.

thank-you
 
First of all, welcome to AD. Your husband may have a point about making friends at the deaf school. But we are living in the real world. That world is not deaf but hearing. Your son will be able to learn how to cope with the world we live in.

However, I don't have experience about the deaf school because I went to a mainstream school from primary to high school with a special support provided by the Government. I did on my own without help, hence I get moral support from my mum :) because I got alot of bullies these days at schools. I turned out to be fine.

I think Deaf school may be behind the mainstream school but I could be wrong. You probably wait for AD'er to comment on this for sure.

More importantly, your child will be happy at the deaf school, where he can make friends easily.
 
Mostly, I liked my mainstream experience and feel I got an extremely good education.
 
If you really want to be an advocate for your child in the end, I recommend deaf school. He/she will establish communication sooner, associate better with peers, and gain Deaf culture which will be VERY important in a few more years coming.
 
hohDougRN said:
If you really want to be an advocate for your child in the end, I recommend deaf school. He/she will establish communication sooner, associate better with peers, and gain Deaf culture which will be VERY important in a few more years coming.
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I grew up in Deaf school. I really think its very important as well.

I was mainstreamed till the 6th grade and went to Deaf school. Never looked back after the fact.

There are some deaf people here that will say that they wish they were in Deaf schools all their life.
 
Are you thinking of Belleville, ECD or Robarts?

Anyway, to start off at deaf school would be a good start, so that way he'll be immersed in ASL and make deaf friends. In deaf schools, he'll have deaf role models in teachers there. If he should find it too easy academically then transfer him into mainstream.

Deaf schools can be great because he'll be friends with some of the peers all his life. I am friends with several people whom I knew from preschool days and it's great to have that sort of friendship.

You could always do both but deaf school might be a better place to start off. So that way you can evaluate him and his needs as he gets older. Needs in a child always changes.

Besides, you'll find great support not to mention rapport with staff in deaf schools than you would ordinarily get in mainstream schools. Not to mention deaf schools usually have much better resources available than in mainstream. Also teachers of the deaf are one of the most dedicated bunch I've observed from my years of schooling in a deaf school.

Best of luck
 
I've spent the majority of my school years in public schools, I have had a good and bad experience in my education in mainstreamed. I grew up in an oral setting until I went to high school then I was mainstreamed with a sign language interpreters full time.

I wish I was mainstreamed with a sign language interpreter all my school years but it didn't happen that way. Oh well.

Your son may get more opportunities in a deaf school than a public school, because public schools don't always serve the needs of deaf children. Also at deaf schools, deaf children gets to socialize with each other more while there's not much deaf children at public schools to socialize, there will be maybe just a small group of deaf kids. Then again who knows. ;)
 
I think your child will feel very isolated in a mainstreamed public school. When you are a child learning to communicate, it doesn't help much if none of the kids won't be friends with you. I didn't have any friends at school in elementary school (I had a best friend from my neighbor though). But I did have them later in life when communication became better.

Unless your local school have a deaf program with ASL, then consider yourself lucky.

btw, I did not have a deaf program. I was the only one who was deaf. I missed out alot result of it so my elementary school education is not all that great. If you are concern more about his socialization, then deaf school would be a better option for you.
 
Here's how I look at it, if your son goes to a mainstream school while he is young, he may not understand that he is different than the other children because he is so young. The key is finding a great and understanding teacher who is willing to learn how to sign, and of course teaching your son how to sign. I was mainstreamed from preschool and up, I never learned sign language which I regret now but I never knew I was different than most of the other children until I reached an older age where children made fun of me for my hearing aids. Then I understood. I really think if I had gone to a school for the deaf, my life would have turned out alot different. I think I would have made more friends that way because the deaf community is so close knit, but then again, I would have missed out on a lot of great relationships and friendships with hearing people. My thoughts are the same about both. My mom made sure that I was able to cope in the hearng world, so she worked very hard teaching me speech. Now that I am pregnant, you raised some questions in my own mind, if my child does have a hearing problem like myself, what will I do?
 
Thank you everyone for your help, there are two main stream schools in our area one has a deaf program in place so I think I will look in to that one get all the information and then decide between that school and a deaf school. To answer someones question he would probably attend Robarts he is currently in their pre-school home program and was earlier with E.C drury I find my experience better with Robarts. Thank you again.
 
here are two main stream schools in our area one has a deaf program in place so I think I will look in to that one get all the information and then decide between that school and a deaf school. To answer someones question he would probably attend Robarts he is currently in their pre-school home program and was earlier with E.C drury I find my experience better with Robarts. Thank you again.
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Oh that's good that the mainstream school has a formal deaf program! Best of both worlds!
He'll get a base built with teachers who know how to teach kids like us.
I do think that little kids shouldn't go off to Deaf School as a res student.
Older kids yes.....little kids no. I think the earliest a kid should be allowed to be a res schooler (unless there's extenutating circumstances) is third grade.
You're doing the right thing......look at both programs. Maybe if the dhh program isn't too good, you could move closer (it's very common for families to relocate)
 
First of all, I would like to commend the OP for being pro-active in her son's education.

I would recommend the OP investigate both the residential school and the local school's Deaf education program. Just because the local school has a formal Deaf education program doesn't neccessarily mean its a good program. Contact parents of current and/or past students and members of the local Deaf community and find out their opinions. And find out how mainstreamed the Deaf students really are. I know of one school which is "mainstreamed" but the Deaf students only spend a few hours a day with hearing students.

Has the OP (and son) taken a tour of the residential school? Find out her sons impressions of the school.

There are some other points I want to make, but will need to make them at a later time.....
 
deafdyke said:
Oh that's good that the mainstream school has a formal deaf program! Best of both worlds!
He'll get a base built with teachers who know how to teach kids like us.
I do think that little kids shouldn't go off to Deaf School as a res student.
Older kids yes.....little kids no. I think the earliest a kid should be allowed to be a res schooler (unless there's extenutating circumstances) is third grade.
You're doing the right thing......look at both programs. Maybe if the dhh program isn't too good, you could move closer (it's very common for families to relocate)
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I wouldn't let my son go as a resident yet possibly when he is in high school but not yet, that is part of our problem we have two other children who have had a very hard time since their brother was born with him being in the hospital most of his first year then moving from my daughters first school and all her friends, she is finally settled I know she wouldn't complain if it was best for her brother but we want to do whats best for all of them without upsetting any if possible!!
 
Daft said:
First of all, I would like to commend the OP for being pro-active in her son's education.

I would recommend the OP investigate both the residential school and the local school's Deaf education program. Just because the local school has a formal Deaf education program doesn't neccessarily mean its a good program. Contact parents of current and/or past students and members of the local Deaf community and find out their opinions. And find out how mainstreamed the Deaf students really are. I know of one school which is "mainstreamed" but the Deaf students only spend a few hours a day with hearing students.

Has the OP (and son) taken a tour of the residential school? Find out her sons impressions of the school.

There are some other points I want to make, but will need to make them at a later time.....
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Thanks those are some great idea's I never thought to contact people who have or who's children have gone, I just think of the teachers and school board, I will look into that for sure.
 
I would say deaf school but i grew up hearing and am late deafened but I wish I knew ASL and it's harder learning on later rather than sooner esp cuz my schedule is so busy
 
ndalrymple said:
Thanks those are some great idea's I never thought to contact people who have or who's children have gone, I just think of the teachers and school board, I will look into that for sure.
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It is a great idea. I am deaf myself and was mainstreamed without sign language growing up. When I started working in the field of Deaf education, it was when I realized how much Deaf schools had to offer and it made me wish I had gone because I delt with so much emotional issues from feelings of isolation, identity confusion, and getting bullied constantly due to my deafness. As a result, I grew up hating my deafness and then eventually hating myself. Also, looking back, I was always missing out on what was taught in class and got into trouble often for "daydreaming" when I was really clueless to what everyone was saying. Now, I am a teacher at a Deaf school and very involved with the Deaf community. Since learning ASL and being involved with the Deaf community, I have become much happier especially about who I am and my deafness.

However, if there is a good deaf/hh program at the public schools that really do meet the deaf children's needs from a cultural standpoint rather than a medical standpoint only, then that would be good as well.

Hope that helps. Good luck!
 
shel90 said:
However, if there is a good deaf/hh program at the public schools that really do meet the deaf children's needs from a cultural standpoint rather than a medical standpoint only, then that would be good as well.

Hope that helps. Good luck!
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:goodpost: I concur with her. Culture is important that it is more than it's things, like commuity, it helps inner self of a person and more that meet deaf/hh's needs.
 
We are teaching my son sign language, for about six months now I have really gone hard into it and have a good enough vocabulary (with signs and finger spelling) to hold my own in a conversation with our deaf mentor my other two children and husband are also doing ok, my son understands more than he can express right now so he seems frustrated sometimes, but that makes us work harder. Just wondering for those of you who are deaf and never learned sign language how did you communicate with family, friends and at school? it must have been very difficult. We only waited so long to start because I think I was in denial and kept thinking the next test would be different(Due to some audiologists telling me the doctors could be wrong)
 
ndalrymple said:
We are teaching my son sign language, for about six months now I have really gone hard into it and have a good enough vocabulary (with signs and finger spelling) to hold my own in a conversation with our deaf mentor my other two children and husband are also doing ok, my son understands more than he can express right now so he seems frustrated sometimes, but that makes us work harder. Just wondering for those of you who are deaf and never learned sign language how did you communicate with family, friends and at school? it must have been very difficult. We only waited so long to start because I think I was in denial and kept thinking the next test would be different(Due to some audiologists telling me the doctors could be wrong)
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I can read lips and speak pretty well so on an one-one-one basis, I do pretty good with communicating with hearing people so that was how I communciated with my family. However, if there was a family gathering or large social groups (very common when I was in middle school and high school) I was always completely left out because I couldnt keep up with what everyone was saying. That lead to the feelings of isolation. I would be in a group pretending that I was understanding what everyone was saying so whenever everyone laughed, I laughed not knowing what was funny. It was the most loneliest feeling ever.

My brother is also deaf with no speech skills and everyone in the family depended on me to interpret for him and for them to facilitate communciation when I was growing up. I thought it was my job to do that and I was always happy to do it cuz I loved my brother and I was the only one he could communicate with.

Now, he and I are very very close because I finally learned ASL at the age of 25 and I finally realized that my family really do not know who my brother is because nobody has learned sign language for him. It is just "Hi" "How are you" "Good"...that's it.
 
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