kids not listening at school

Pacman said:
I have sister that's ADD and my parent was grounded her and loss of privilege then she's still not improved, just got more worse then my parent has no choice to do otherway but rather sent her to therapist and still not very effective, plus she was almost to sent to juvenile detention center and got warned by police for runaway at twice.

It's difficult to get deal with children with ADD but my parent don't know that sister was diagnosed with ADD when she was 14 years, currently age is 16. Now, I was told that she has some changes after took new pill for ADD and seems improve in some part, plus visit to therapist too. You have rights to discuss with teacher about something that should work out, such as give some copies of lecture paper or work paper to parent then lecturing to their child, one on one and would improve the grade but loss of privilege and punishment aren't good practice for child with ADD, my parent has learned their mistake and taking care of my sister now.

Some ADD child are sent to special school, even some of them are in home school with one on one, in case if ADD child cannot work out at public school.

It's stupid to send ADD child to juvenile detention center, unless if they are commit crime or extreme aggressive with someone, such as teacher, parent or so, for innocent ADD child then it would make more worse and worse at JDC, some parent did sent innocent ADD child to JDC, ugh.
Click to expand...

Very sad story.

Yes, I myself have ADD son. I work hard to develop him with my patience and love and went to therapies with him when he was a little boy... and change the diet for him....

Now my son is soon to be 15 years old and good teenager - show no sign of ADD or trouble or whatever... anymore.

Yes I agree with you that it's not right to send ADD child to jevenile detention center. It solves nothing but WORST...

I also agree with you for send ADD or ADHD children to special school if public school doesn't work for them.

 
SxyPorkie said:
Sorry... I have to disagree with you.. Babyblue... I completely agree with Cheri..... it takes lots of patiences and working with a child.. I applaud Cheri...
Click to expand...

So True... It does takes a lot of patience.. I've been there and done that when babysitting my friend's kids since both parents are deaf and the kids are all hearing and they understand me better than their parents. I told my friend, no matter if your voice is terrible or awful, but you wanted to teach your child sign language to communicate with you.

Like when she tells her 4 yrs old daughter to stop or don't do that and her daughter act like she's deaf "Really she doesn't understand what her mother said" and I said to her "Your mother told you to stop fighting with your brother and sit down." she was shocked to find that her daughter actually listen to me. I told her you have to keep talking whether she understands you or not, just keep using sign lanaguage. Be Patient with her and she'll understand you eventually as she gets usual to your voice.
 
SweetOrchid said:
So True... It does takes a lot of patience.. I've been there and done that when babysitting my friend's kids since both parents are deaf and the kids are all hearing and they understand me better than their parents. I told my friend, no matter if your voice is terrible or awful, but you wanted to teach your child sign language to communicate with you.

Like when she tells her 4 yrs old daughter to stop or don't do that and her daughter act like she's deaf "Really she doesn't understand what her mother said" and I said to her "Your mother told you to stop fighting with your brother and sit down." she was shocked to find that her daughter actually listen to me. I told her you have to keep talking whether she understands you or not, just keep using sign lanaguage. Be Patient with her and she'll understand you eventually as she gets usual to your voice.
Click to expand...

Yeah... i have 4 grown up children... especially my son.. i had hard time with him... i got him helps and counseling.. it paid off....
 
Babyblue said:
I also have a son with ADHD .........but the pills alone doesn't work!! That is why consistency is important and to show him the right way of doing things.

The medication is not a Miracle pill .....it is something to help him concentrate, It is still the parents responsibility to show the child how to do the right thing.
Click to expand...

I have to agree with you on that Babyblue. The pills only correct the chemical imbalance that creates the shorter attention span. Behavior modification is needed to address the problem completely. And different children get different benefits from the meds. Some get more, some get less.
 
Pacman said:
I have sister that's ADD and my parent was grounded her and loss of privilege then she's still not improved, just got more worse then my parent has no choice to do otherway but rather sent her to therapist and still not very effective, plus she was almost to sent to juvenile detention center and got warned by police for runaway at twice.

It's difficult to get deal with children with ADD but my parent don't know that sister was diagnosed with ADD when she was 14 years, currently age is 16. Now, I was told that she has some changes after took new pill for ADD and seems improve in some part, plus visit to therapist too. You have rights to discuss with teacher about something that should work out, such as give some copies of lecture paper or work paper to parent then lecturing to their child, one on one and would improve the grade but loss of privilege and punishment aren't good practice for child with ADD, my parent has learned their mistake and taking care of my sister now.

Some ADD child are sent to special school, even some of them are in home school with one on one, in case if ADD child cannot work out at public school.

It's stupid to send ADD child to juvenile detention center, unless if they are commit crime or extreme aggressive with someone, such as teacher, parent or so, for innocent ADD child then it would make more worse and worse at JDC, some parent did sent innocent ADD child to JDC, ugh.
Click to expand...

**nodding agreement** It is wrong to punish a child for having a physical disorder. It would be like punishing a deaf child for not hearing.
 
There are so many reasons and behaviors why kids don't listen in school or at home. Kids could be having problems with peer pressure, or problems at home with the family, or kids are hyper active, or there abuse going on in the home, or being raised by single parents that not always there for them due to working to support their child, or the teachers teach boring methods, who knows. Any numbers of reasons why kids don't listen in school or at home. OR, Some of them have had children with major disabilities or disorders - like learning disabilities, ADHD, Asperger's syndrome, Autism, and Obsessive Compulsive disorders is also another signs kids don't listen if the parents not sure what wrong with his or her child.

Others are simply tearing their hair out about their children's oppositional and defiant behaviors - kids that think they own the world. Kids who throw temper tantrums, sass back at their parents, beat up their siblings, refuse to do as they are told... kids who think only of themselves, and want everything NOW! Kids who are, frankly, a parenting nightmare. Now don't get me wrong. I have no magic wand (that's what some parents want). I cannot suddenly make the ADHD or Autism go away or any other behaivor problems. I wish I could. The GOOD CHILD Guide, and it has been hailed with critical acclaim as you can see from some of the genuine testimonials and reviews quoted here.. You can order it online, either as an easy-to-read hard-copy manual delivered right to your door. I have one that I ordered 6 years ago. It a very good book.
 
GarnetTigerMom said:
There are so many reasons and behaviors why kids don't listen in school or at home. Kids could be having problems with peer pressure, or problems at home with the family, or kids are hyper active, or there abuse going on in the home, or being raised by single parents that not always there for them due to working to support their child, or the teachers teach boring methods, who knows. Any numbers of reasons why kids don't listen in school or at home. OR, Some of them have had children with major disabilities or disorders - like learning disabilities, ADHD, Asperger's syndrome, Autism, and Obsessive Compulsive disorders is also another signs kids don't listen if the parents not sure what wrong with his or her child.

Others are simply tearing their hair out about their children's oppositional and defiant behaviors - kids that think they own the world. Kids who throw temper tantrums, sass back at their parents, beat up their siblings, refuse to do as they are told... kids who think only of themselves, and want everything NOW! Kids who are, frankly, a parenting nightmare. Now don't get me wrong. I have no magic wand (that's what some parents want). I cannot suddenly make the ADHD or Autism go away or any other behaivor problems. I wish I could. The GOOD CHILD Guide, and it has been hailed with critical acclaim as you can see from some of the genuine testimonials and reviews quoted here.. You can order it online, either as an easy-to-read hard-copy manual delivered right to your door. I have one that I ordered 6 years ago. It a very good book.
Click to expand...

That is a very good book, GTM. And another one is "Special Kids Need Special Parents".
 
Sometimes, positive reinforcement doesn't help. So, be negative. Punish him. Ground him.
 
Hi there,

I am a respite worker and I specialize in extreme behaviours, and behaviour modification. I didn't have a chance to read over all of the posts so if I am repeating some stuff I apologize.

For starters children have behavioural problems for many reasons. Why these behavioural problems exist is the starting point for change. In most cases I have seen (especially with deaf/hoh children) the behaviours can be linked to communicative difficulties.

Have you tried a token reward system? Make a chart with your sons name on the top and get some fun stickers. When your son listens to instructions, or good news comes home from school, or anything else that constitutes a reward let him pick a sticker to put on his chart. Once he gets 10 stickers (or what ever a realistic number is for your son) he gets a reward like Chuck 'e' Cheese, or a movie, or a special toy, or whatever else he may enjoy.

Let him participate in all aspects of this model. Allow him to pick out the colour of paper for his chart. Let him pick out what stickers he wants. Let him put the stickers on his chart as he earns them. Let him choose the reward.

I have used this system with many kids and in most cases I see a dramatic behavioural changes in a short period of time. It also teaches responsibility and the importance of goal setting.

Hope this is helpful, feel free to PM me with any other questions!

-Jenny
 
I just read over some of the posts...I came into some time...

do you think spanking helps?
NO! This will not achieve anything other than creating a distance between you and your child. If you are a person who brings physical pain to your child he will not trust you. He will associate YOU with pain, and not the behaviour. This is not what you want.

You can not just let the child rule the roots you have to discipline a child to TEACH. That is whats wrong with the world today.

I disagree. While the child cannot be in complete charge you have to let the child help to make choices. Discipline has a place but reacting to a negative with a negative will create a negative response. Your son will become frustrated and upset. Quite often a negative reaction will enhance the behaviours.

One discipline that does work is a time out. Get a mat, or a special chair for timeouts. Explain to your son that when he does a certain action (hitting, running away, etc.) He will need to have a time out. The length is determined by the age of your child (2 yrs=2 mins, 3yrs=3 mins, 4yrs=4mins etc) Use an oven timer to visually show the length of a timeout. Once you son understand when a time out will be used you can start to use them. If you son is running away from you and won't come back when you ask him to say okay I am going to give you until three and if you don't come back you will have a time out, 1,2,3 count a an average speed. Don't draw out the process. Once you get to three, if he hasn't listened walk over to him, and tell him it is time for a time out. If he doesn't willing go with you (he probably won't) pick him up and put him on the timeout mat/chair. Explain to him why he is on a time out "you are on a ___minute time out because you were running away from me and din't listen when I asked you to come back" Set the timer and walk away. If he sits there great, if not keep picking him up and bringing him back until he sits there for the required time. The first time doing this it may take up to an hour or two. Make sure you have the time to commit to it. After the first time it will get easier. DO NOT BACK DOWN. Once he has sat for his timeout calmly approach him and ask him if he knows why he was on a timeout. If he says no explain once again and ask him to explain why he was on a timeout once again. Once he can explain to you why he was on a timeout tell him that he is right, and ask him what choices he can make in the future so he won't have to have timeouts. This gives him a chance to think independently and encourages him to really understand what the behaviour is. Once he tells you what he wants to do differently in the future tell him that it is a good idea and you are proud of him for thinking of it. Give him a hug and let him go play. Don't dwell on the timeout or the behaviour after this.

Make sure you are always on his level for this process. Don't yell, don't use complicated vocabulary, and make sure you are physically at his level aswell, you don't want to be towering above him as this is intimidating.

like I said before feel free to PM me and I can give you more indepth help on dealing with your son specifically.

Jenny
 
I would also like to add that you can only give a timeout (or any kind of negative response) at the exact time that something happens. So if you son comes home from school with a note from the teacher saying that he wasn't listening you can't put him on a timeout for it. There is no point, he won't associate the action with the consequence, especially if he is younger.

You can however give positive feedback at anytime, so if he comes home with a good note afterschool give him a sticker for his chart.

If the note is bad, sit down with him and have a "couch talk'. Take him to the couch or a special place and sit him on your lap facing you. Ask him how school was. Let him tell you what happened, let him tell you what he did. Ask him why he did it. If he doesn't give you an answer ask him how he felt, ask him if he was sad, angry, happy....so on. Whatever answer he gives you give him another way to deal with it. So For example...How do you feel when you don't listen?....DO you feel angry, sad, happy?...He replies with angry (for examples sake)...alright well why don't we think of something else to do when you feel angry? Next time you feel angry can you try sitting in a quiet place for a few minutes, or hug a teddy bear, or draw a picture or WHATEVER might calm down your son. Always be calm and involve him in the conversation. Let the teacher know whatever you decided to try.

The key in all of this is involving your son. He needs to have a chance to be heard, and take responsibility for his own actions. I promise that if your son is involved in all of this he will be much more willing to accept the consequences of his actions.

A little note about the token reward system. DO NOT take away his stickers once they have been earned. If he has a bad day he just doesn't get another sticker. By taking them away you will be saying that what he did to earn them is no longer good, and you will be punishing him for what he did in the past that was good, not the current bad behaviours.

I hope some of this helps someone! lol

-Jenny
 
sara1981 said:
mostly kids always not listen to teacher all the times that wrong!
Click to expand...

You cannot expected kids to be perfect, but at least try their best, because for one thing for certain, I don't expect my two kids to be perfect, I recommend them to do their best. ;)
 
Cheri said:
You cannot expected kids to be perfect, but at least try their best, because for one thing for certain, I don't expect my two kids to be perfect, I recommend them to do their best. ;)
Click to expand...

Yeah... no child are perfect but perfect in the mother s eyes thats all...I guess Sara does not have a child...

all children are perfect when they are asleep.. I looked at my children while they were asleep.. they were angels.... i would kiss them all over...
 
Cheri said:
You cannot expected kids to be perfect, but at least try their best, because for one thing for certain, I don't expect my two kids to be perfect, I recommend them to do their best. ;)
Click to expand...

you're right
 
Back
Top