Before I give you a boring or entertaining story, this topic isn't relationship issue, it is conscience and "right or wrong" issue.. I have this conscience for several years so I would like to share and would love to hear your feedbacks out if you have anything to share.. I have to explain somewhat long so you guys will get the picture what going on (of course I did not add any more what I have to) to get the picture so sorry about this.. Note: I did not think with english, I am thinking with my emotions so excuse my sloppy grammar :P
I moved in Vermont several years ago for snowboarding contest and want to live a different life in anywhere beside California as well. I met a interesting and beautiful woman (let's call her, "Mel", it isn't her real name) who was a interpreter at Austine school for deaf in Vermont. She had a deaf boyfriend (l will call him "Matt", it isn't his real name) and both of them has been in serious relationship for maybe a year or bit longer.. Anyway I worked as one-to-one with special needs kids at Austine as well so we eventually met in some place time to time..
Until at one time, Mel wants me to came over to her place to talk and bullshitting around, nothing happen between us (I am not one of guys who would walk over the line to do anything with women who have a relationship with boyfriends/husbands) but she somehow opened up and share with me that her boyfriend has been hurt her few times thru physical and yelling. Matt did not punch her or anything like that but push her few times.. Matt and I had conversations together several time at different parties and I can notice that he is one of hotheaded types. She showed me few holes in the walls where Matt punched during in heated arguement with Mel.
Anyway, after numbers of days and weeks, thing between me and Mel was eventually getting close and closer, Mel expressed her frustrations about relationship with Matt.. I mentioned to her several times that she needs to leave him, get Matt some therapies or call cops concerning about "physical" abuses that she took from him. She refused and believe that things will work out somehow between them, at same time she started to show her feelings toward me. I even tried to call cops about it but wants to keep my name out so cops did not accept my anonymous call and told me that whoever vicitim should make a call, not me (Vermont law thingy I guess). So I was luck out. I talked to one of my boss about it and she said it was up to Mel to decide to call or not. Mel often asked for me to go and ride with her to some beautiful mountains in Vermont so she can feel "free" from Matt or cry about it.
She did tempted me in certain way, like asking me to sleep in bed with her to comfort her. Believe me, I would love to do but I know it will lead to sex.. I had to decline in spite of my heightened hormones and slept on the floor instead heh... Somehow Mel's boyfriend finally blowed up and hurt Mel real hard by pushing her down the stair, she called me and I left during work to get her out of there for a while then finally convinced her to call cops. She did and cops stopped by and took him to jail in police station for 24 hours to keep things cool down. I had to wrote the statement down about him and cops showed the statement to Matt, of course he got mad at me.. Mel and Matt had some discussions and apparently solved some issues.. By almost end of school year, Mel decided and planned to move out of Vermont to different states and took Matt along with her (Even though Matt yelled at her and pushed her again)..
So I got this guts that Matt will somehow hurt Mel more than usual, I unfortunately decided that I had to do something.. I made up a "white" lie about Matt (Don't remember what it is all about though) and it got Mel real hurt and ready to cuss at Matt due to my "white" lie. But I changed my mind because I could not stand myself if I did not tell Mel that I lied to her so I called her again and told her that I lied to her. It hurt her real lots, more than I thought. She refused to talk to me ever again.. I regretted that I did because it impacted her more than anything does, I believe because of her love toward me (I guess at this moment). But it already put the rift between Mel and Matt when Mel moved out to other state.. and eventually broke up.
Matt went to the jail for molesting several kids during work in school included "forced" some kids to do certain sexual things. I guess karma did the job for me also save Mel from Matt as well. (It was in certain newspaper so figure it out if you want to).
So am I wrong to lie for trying to save Mel from Matt? That's what my conscience bother me for years and years. I do want to tell Mel that I lied to her because I want to save her from Matt and his hotheadedness but that is big IF for me to meet her somewhere and somehow. Anyway, is it ok for me to lie like that in order to save her from Matt? Have you ever experience that situation before? Thanks.
I moved in Vermont several years ago for snowboarding contest and want to live a different life in anywhere beside California as well. I met a interesting and beautiful woman (let's call her, "Mel", it isn't her real name) who was a interpreter at Austine school for deaf in Vermont. She had a deaf boyfriend (l will call him "Matt", it isn't his real name) and both of them has been in serious relationship for maybe a year or bit longer.. Anyway I worked as one-to-one with special needs kids at Austine as well so we eventually met in some place time to time..
Until at one time, Mel wants me to came over to her place to talk and bullshitting around, nothing happen between us (I am not one of guys who would walk over the line to do anything with women who have a relationship with boyfriends/husbands) but she somehow opened up and share with me that her boyfriend has been hurt her few times thru physical and yelling. Matt did not punch her or anything like that but push her few times.. Matt and I had conversations together several time at different parties and I can notice that he is one of hotheaded types. She showed me few holes in the walls where Matt punched during in heated arguement with Mel.
Anyway, after numbers of days and weeks, thing between me and Mel was eventually getting close and closer, Mel expressed her frustrations about relationship with Matt.. I mentioned to her several times that she needs to leave him, get Matt some therapies or call cops concerning about "physical" abuses that she took from him. She refused and believe that things will work out somehow between them, at same time she started to show her feelings toward me. I even tried to call cops about it but wants to keep my name out so cops did not accept my anonymous call and told me that whoever vicitim should make a call, not me (Vermont law thingy I guess). So I was luck out. I talked to one of my boss about it and she said it was up to Mel to decide to call or not. Mel often asked for me to go and ride with her to some beautiful mountains in Vermont so she can feel "free" from Matt or cry about it.
She did tempted me in certain way, like asking me to sleep in bed with her to comfort her. Believe me, I would love to do but I know it will lead to sex.. I had to decline in spite of my heightened hormones and slept on the floor instead heh... Somehow Mel's boyfriend finally blowed up and hurt Mel real hard by pushing her down the stair, she called me and I left during work to get her out of there for a while then finally convinced her to call cops. She did and cops stopped by and took him to jail in police station for 24 hours to keep things cool down. I had to wrote the statement down about him and cops showed the statement to Matt, of course he got mad at me.. Mel and Matt had some discussions and apparently solved some issues.. By almost end of school year, Mel decided and planned to move out of Vermont to different states and took Matt along with her (Even though Matt yelled at her and pushed her again)..
So I got this guts that Matt will somehow hurt Mel more than usual, I unfortunately decided that I had to do something.. I made up a "white" lie about Matt (Don't remember what it is all about though) and it got Mel real hurt and ready to cuss at Matt due to my "white" lie. But I changed my mind because I could not stand myself if I did not tell Mel that I lied to her so I called her again and told her that I lied to her. It hurt her real lots, more than I thought. She refused to talk to me ever again.. I regretted that I did because it impacted her more than anything does, I believe because of her love toward me (I guess at this moment). But it already put the rift between Mel and Matt when Mel moved out to other state.. and eventually broke up.
Matt went to the jail for molesting several kids during work in school included "forced" some kids to do certain sexual things. I guess karma did the job for me also save Mel from Matt as well. (It was in certain newspaper so figure it out if you want to).
So am I wrong to lie for trying to save Mel from Matt? That's what my conscience bother me for years and years. I do want to tell Mel that I lied to her because I want to save her from Matt and his hotheadedness but that is big IF for me to meet her somewhere and somehow. Anyway, is it ok for me to lie like that in order to save her from Matt? Have you ever experience that situation before? Thanks.
