I agree with most posters in here, With me I cannot stand my son's father But, I have to put my feelings aside and do what best for my son. My son needs both mother and father even through he isn't a best role model as a father figures but, that isn't my say about what is right for my son because, he wants his dad around so I have to put up with that even through his dad is a real deadbeat. *grrr*
I need to VENT!
- Thread starter DeafSCUBA98
- Start date
G
Gemtun
Guest
Cheri said:
You are being very mature here, Cheri. Your son will thank you one day for not putting him in the middle.
I grew up with 4 different stepdads and a biological dad who took off when I wa six months old. I had to go through 3 ugly divorces between my mom and stepdads and I was always put in the middle. Even though they were jerks, I was not comfortable to hear negative stuff. Each parent told me negative stuff about the other parent. I was forced to grow up fast with adult battles.
Keep it up, Cheri ..it is not easy. I try to swallow my opinions about my ex in front of my girls but I keep reminding myself that they still need/want their father, despite my opinions of him. Let them find out themselves one day. Let them be children for now and one day they will sort out their feelings about the whole deal.
HUGS
C
CrazyMomma
Guest
Yea, it is okay, Cheri. I understand. Everyone doesn't have the perfect father or perfect mother. I don't have perfect father either. Some kids doesn't have perfect mother.
If ONE of the parents can't be the role model of being a child or children's father or mother, if mother has the best interest and better role of mother, she will get the full custody of the child/children and father will have to follow the court rules, get visitation rights and pay child supports, if not, Mother have the right to stop father to see your child unless he pay the child support. If not paying child support, your child/children can "estranged" from the father which mean your child/children will no longer to see him until the father pay child support.
If the mother can't be the mother role, the father have the best interest, and he will take the full custody, and mother will have to pay child support and get a visitation rights like the court tell you to do. If mother won't do it or can't do it, her child/children will "estranged" from the mom, father have the right to stop you from seeing your child.. I know it is not easy. It is hard to deal with it. If you want to see your child, you can pay child support to the father and he will let you to see Sean. I know it is not fair, it is the court.
If you want a joint custody, which mean, Mother and Father have the best roles and interest for their children and paying equal, and child/children will live with mom for 1 week and dad for 1 week until your child/children make the decision when they get up to 13 or 14 years old due to their schools, involve with community.
If ONE of the parents can't be the role model of being a child or children's father or mother, if mother has the best interest and better role of mother, she will get the full custody of the child/children and father will have to follow the court rules, get visitation rights and pay child supports, if not, Mother have the right to stop father to see your child unless he pay the child support. If not paying child support, your child/children can "estranged" from the father which mean your child/children will no longer to see him until the father pay child support.
If the mother can't be the mother role, the father have the best interest, and he will take the full custody, and mother will have to pay child support and get a visitation rights like the court tell you to do. If mother won't do it or can't do it, her child/children will "estranged" from the mom, father have the right to stop you from seeing your child.. I know it is not easy. It is hard to deal with it. If you want to see your child, you can pay child support to the father and he will let you to see Sean. I know it is not fair, it is the court.
If you want a joint custody, which mean, Mother and Father have the best roles and interest for their children and paying equal, and child/children will live with mom for 1 week and dad for 1 week until your child/children make the decision when they get up to 13 or 14 years old due to their schools, involve with community.
Meg said:You are being very mature here, Cheri. Your son will thank you one day for not putting him in the middle.
I grew up with 4 different stepdads and a biological dad who took off when I wa six months old. I had to go through 3 ugly divorces between my mom and stepdads and I was always put in the middle. Even though they were jerks, I was not comfortable to hear negative stuff. Each parent told me negative stuff about the other parent. I was forced to grow up fast with adult battles.
Keep it up, Cheri ..it is not easy. I try to swallow my opinions about my ex in front of my girls but I keep reminding myself that they still need/want their father, despite my opinions of him.HUGS
Yep, you are exactly correct. It's isn't about me it's about my son. I just want my son happy and if he is happy having a relationship with his dad, then I am happy for him. (((Hugs!!)))))
Yes, If my son doesn't want a relationship with his dad then Heck I gotta throw a party LOL Just Kidding!
C
CrazyMomma
Guest
Yea, that is true, Cheri.. That is normal... If your child or children doesn't want to do anything with their father, heck with it, move on and live happy where they are now.. They have you and you have them.. If your children wanted to have a relationship with him and the father need to know they do want to see you and try to have a father/son relationship, if he doesn't want to, forget him and move on, and someday you married someone and your sons will have a cool and awesome stepfather they can look up to.
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2004
- Messages
- 31,020
- Reaction score
- 10
CrazyRedHeadWV said:
Well, my father support my mother with no cents........ my mother still let him to visit to see us.
It sound blackmail when you stop your ex to see your children because of that no child support. It´s unfair for the children.
You can image what you react if your son want to see his father (your ex whom he never pay child support?)
C
CrazyMomma
Guest
It's up to the court, judges and lawyers.
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2004
- Messages
- 31,020
- Reaction score
- 10
Well, child´s interest is more important. I would offer my children if they want to see their father to find out themselves.
I would not listen court etc and give my children the chance because my child´s interest come first. Alot of parents could be bitch if they like to stop their children for see their father or mother.
My children would hate me for that if I wont let them to go to see his father because I obey court´s rule.
It´s bad if the parents think about themselves, not their child´s interest and future.
I would deal with my ex like what Cheri and Meg says at thier posts.
I would not listen court etc and give my children the chance because my child´s interest come first. Alot of parents could be bitch if they like to stop their children for see their father or mother.
My children would hate me for that if I wont let them to go to see his father because I obey court´s rule.
It´s bad if the parents think about themselves, not their child´s interest and future.
I would deal with my ex like what Cheri and Meg says at thier posts.
Do not using children as a weapon, they are innocent pure and simple!!
If anyone left child behind with ex-spouse, and come back to claim full custody, it is harder this way until you proof the parent is unfit to look after!!!
It saddened me to see children's life like a parcel back and to...............
If anyone left child behind with ex-spouse, and come back to claim full custody, it is harder this way until you proof the parent is unfit to look after!!!
It saddened me to see children's life like a parcel back and to...............
E
eternity
Guest
If father takes a full custody of child but that doesn't mean mother will have to pay child support. They both can make the agree if they don't make any agreement then they can go to the court. If mother wont or cant do it that doesnt mean the father have the right to stop her from see their child.
It sounds stupid! It is all about the money so he would let her see that child?
For me.. I will against that idea!
You are wrong right there, First of all it's the law to pay child support rather you like it or not. It is unfair that the custody mother or father have to support the child alone, It's takes two not one. Second of all, Child Support Enforcment near my home told me that If my son's father doesn't pay
child support I have the right to keep my son away from him, there no court order saying he allow to have visitations rights, he never filed one, therefore I have the power.. But, I am not going to do it that way because, it isn't my place to take that father/son bond away from my son.
In all 50 states, the laws usually varies in this area. Divorces, Custodies, Marriage Disputes, etc all varies from state to state.
From what I know, some states don't require a parent to pay child support as long these are dealt in private instead of the court. Personal agreements instead of having a judge make the decisions are pretty much legal from what I believe. I believe that's where Eternity is coming from. I do agree with her that these situations does take place.
I know several people who has dealt with it in private instead of taking it to the court. The laws doesn't apply to personal matters as long they are dealt in private. But if you are unable to deal with the other parent of a child, then that's where the legal system come in handy.
From what I know, some states don't require a parent to pay child support as long these are dealt in private instead of the court. Personal agreements instead of having a judge make the decisions are pretty much legal from what I believe. I believe that's where Eternity is coming from. I do agree with her that these situations does take place.
I know several people who has dealt with it in private instead of taking it to the court. The laws doesn't apply to personal matters as long they are dealt in private. But if you are unable to deal with the other parent of a child, then that's where the legal system come in handy.
Actually yes you have to pay child support no matter what, it's the LAW period!! And if one of the parents give up their right for that child then yes, she/he wouldn't have to pay any child support!
When you go thru a divorce, there will be either the mom or dad who wants full or shared custody of the child ( ren ), when they are unable to make an agreement about shared custody before facing the judge, then the judge would hear both sides and decides who would get full custody of the child....Every divorce cases are different and how long they fight in court etc...
Child support goes thru the Child Support Recovery Unit or whatever name it goes by, as what is stated in the final divorce decree document and nothing can be changed unless taken back to court...or first go before a mediator ( someone who hears both sides and tries to have both sides come to an agreement )...
When one parent refused to pay child support, the other parent is not allow to stop the other parent from seeing the child, if he/she do that then he/she would lose the child custody...It a law and you are not allow to do that...I have that in my divorce papers, if my ex husband did not pay any child support Im not allow to tell him he can't see the children or else I would lose my custody of the children....If he still refused to pay any child support then he will still owe any back child support, if still hasnt pay within a couple of months or so, he will be arrest and send to jail then the judge would hear the reason why he hasn't pay any...then go from there....
Either follow the law or you lose, that's how it works!
Ahhhhhhh Banjo you are wrong. I found the link.....
http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/cic_text/family/childenf/enforce.htm
It's the law! Remember you live in Canada.
http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/cic_text/family/childenf/enforce.htm
It's the law! Remember you live in Canada.
Not entirely wrong. Only wrong on the part of referring to it as a state law when it was in fact a federal law.
But that's not the main point I was making.
A noncustodial parent only has to pay if the order is made. That's the point I was making. A noncustodial parent is only required to pay if the custodial parent makes the appeal, period.
The website you provided, that's a website for custodial parents who need help to get an order for the child support payments to be made. Therefore, the noncustodial parent is only required to pay if the order is made. Look it up on the website, you'll find the answer.
But that's not the main point I was making.
A noncustodial parent only has to pay if the order is made. That's the point I was making. A noncustodial parent is only required to pay if the custodial parent makes the appeal, period.
The website you provided, that's a website for custodial parents who need help to get an order for the child support payments to be made. Therefore, the noncustodial parent is only required to pay if the order is made. Look it up on the website, you'll find the answer.
State goes after child support
New Michigan laws set up fund to help police arrest 84,000 deadbeat parents
By Kim Kozlowski / The Detroit News
Child support laws
Several new laws have gone into effect in the last two years to help improve Michigan's child support system. They include:
A new fund to help law enforcement serve outstanding bench warrants against deadbeat parents, effective today.
Hospital costs must be split between both parents instead of being the responsibility of the father, effective today.
Court can suspend driver's licenses and place liens against property to collect support payments, enacted in July 2003.
Court can garnishee bank accounts for back child support, enacted December 2002.
Parenting time laws strengthened by adding informal meetings to avoid court action. December 2002.
Bad faith actions could result in fines of between $250 and $1,000, enacted in December 2002.
Also, the 8 percent surcharge on overdue payments will be reduced, and deleted altogether for parents who pay their child support for six consecutive months, effective next year.
Source: State Court Administrative Office
Fixing child support
New state laws designed to enhance child support collection are going into effect, including penalizing parents who fail to show up at hearings by restricting evidence they can present at a rescheduled proceeding, and a new fund to help police serve bench warrants against deadbeat parents. Do you expect that the new laws will succeed in fixing the worst problems in the system?
Yes
No
Get results and comments
Previous reports
Child support may go paperless
Michigan glitches snarl child support
Laura Berman: Cox earns kudos for strong efforts to crack down on deadbeat parents
Cox boasts $1.4 million in back child support
Feds certify Friend of the Court
Child-support crackdown pays off for Wayne County
Overdue child support targeted
Child support faces overhaul
State speeds child support payments
Special Report: Unfriendly Court: Broken system cheats families
Related reports
More on Finances
Detroit Should End Games with Justice Department - 10/01/04
Feds: Cops inflated the cost of reforms - 09/30/04
African Town plan derided - 09/30/04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comment on this story
Send this story to a friend
Get Home Delivery
Following years of failing thousands of Michigan children and their parents, the state is bolstering its child support system.
A handful of new laws aimed at enhancing the system goes into effect today, including one that will establish a fund to help police serve the almost 84,000 outstanding bench warrants against deadbeat parents.
Besides the new fund, other laws that go into effect today include splitting pregnancy and birthing costs between both parents, which previously were paid only by the father. And another law would penalize parents who fail to show up at referee hearings by restricting evidence they can present at a rescheduled proceeding.
The laws are the latest in the state’s efforts to crack down on parents who don’t pay child support and to address other parenting issues within the system. Efforts made in recent years include suspending driver’s licenses, imposing liens against personal property and even garnishing personal bank accounts.
New Michigan laws set up fund to help police arrest 84,000 deadbeat parents
By Kim Kozlowski / The Detroit News
Child support laws
Several new laws have gone into effect in the last two years to help improve Michigan's child support system. They include:
A new fund to help law enforcement serve outstanding bench warrants against deadbeat parents, effective today.
Hospital costs must be split between both parents instead of being the responsibility of the father, effective today.
Court can suspend driver's licenses and place liens against property to collect support payments, enacted in July 2003.
Court can garnishee bank accounts for back child support, enacted December 2002.
Parenting time laws strengthened by adding informal meetings to avoid court action. December 2002.
Bad faith actions could result in fines of between $250 and $1,000, enacted in December 2002.
Also, the 8 percent surcharge on overdue payments will be reduced, and deleted altogether for parents who pay their child support for six consecutive months, effective next year.
Source: State Court Administrative Office
Fixing child support
New state laws designed to enhance child support collection are going into effect, including penalizing parents who fail to show up at hearings by restricting evidence they can present at a rescheduled proceeding, and a new fund to help police serve bench warrants against deadbeat parents. Do you expect that the new laws will succeed in fixing the worst problems in the system?
Yes
No
Get results and comments
Previous reports
Child support may go paperless
Michigan glitches snarl child support
Laura Berman: Cox earns kudos for strong efforts to crack down on deadbeat parents
Cox boasts $1.4 million in back child support
Feds certify Friend of the Court
Child-support crackdown pays off for Wayne County
Overdue child support targeted
Child support faces overhaul
State speeds child support payments
Special Report: Unfriendly Court: Broken system cheats families
Related reports
More on Finances
Detroit Should End Games with Justice Department - 10/01/04
Feds: Cops inflated the cost of reforms - 09/30/04
African Town plan derided - 09/30/04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comment on this story
Send this story to a friend
Get Home Delivery
Following years of failing thousands of Michigan children and their parents, the state is bolstering its child support system.
A handful of new laws aimed at enhancing the system goes into effect today, including one that will establish a fund to help police serve the almost 84,000 outstanding bench warrants against deadbeat parents.
Besides the new fund, other laws that go into effect today include splitting pregnancy and birthing costs between both parents, which previously were paid only by the father. And another law would penalize parents who fail to show up at referee hearings by restricting evidence they can present at a rescheduled proceeding.
The laws are the latest in the state’s efforts to crack down on parents who don’t pay child support and to address other parenting issues within the system. Efforts made in recent years include suspending driver’s licenses, imposing liens against personal property and even garnishing personal bank accounts.
netrox said:
Duh! I Know that, but you can't settle this private and pay child support because, if an absent parent say "I paid my ex 200.00" and the Custody parent said "No he did not" It has to go through Child Support Enforcement, because that the only proofs the absent parent pay child support and the custody parent receiving child support from the absent parent.