I am going get divorce.

ghsh1996 said:
I am going get divorce. It is so hard for me to admit. Everything turn very bad for us. I had to let our marriage go. I am pretty upset. I have to move out from our house this saturday. I am glad that I will have people to help me to pack everything. Everything cause me overwelhed. I hate that. Sigh
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You don't have to tell everybody about you plan to get divorce. It is ur business. I understand how is your feeling. That's your decision.
 
TheHipflash said:
You don't have to tell everybody about you plan to get divorce. It is ur business. I understand how is your feeling. That's your decision.
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excuse me, Please don't tell me about dont have to tell everyone about my plan. alldeaf members are my friends. They support me. I cannot cover my story because some of them already know me.
 
ghsh1996 said:
don't say it is my husband's all fault. We have both faults. We have money issue, job issue, our personal issue and my husband's son's issue. We had to made his son move out from our house again last saturday because we don't want his issue effect our marriage. Now he is homeless but We cannot let him live with us anymore.
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I am not sure if it is proper for me to ask you a few questions because it's your personal. I am just wondering why you want to get rid of his son. Is he having a drug problem? How old he is? If you do not want to answer that. I can understand and respect your privacy. I hope that your things will smooth out somehow.
 
webexplorer said:
I am not sure if it is proper for me to ask you a few questions because it's your personal. I am just wondering why you want to get rid of his son. Is he having a drug problem? How old he is? If you do not want to answer that. I can understand and respect your privacy. I hope that your things will smooth out somehow.
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My stepson have lot of problem himself. He did shoplifting, broke few law, do drugs. He cannot keep a job in long terms. He got fired from 3 different job that he worked only for one month. He don't want find job or don't want work. He dont take shower or dont wash his laundry. We cannot take care of him because he is already 20 years old. My husband don't like see him that he was homeless but he realized that his issue hurt our marriage and budget. We had to throw him out from our house 4 times. He is homeless now but we cannot take him in our house anymore. We gave him chance 4 time. It is last chance that we gave him.
 
i m glad to hear that you both are not getting a divorce. It takes two to tango and work on it.. its hard i know.. but good luck on that as you will need it. All the best! :hug:
 
I'm so sorry to hear that and I know the pain of divorce, bec I've been there. It is very painful experience. Just keep your head above the water and be strong.
 
i understand how parents feel about getting their kids out of the house.. i have seen and experience it myself with my brother. my mom had to kick him out.. seems like similar sitution as your stepson.. my brother steals, drugs, skip school, and on and on.. now my mom had to make her finial desicion. to kick him out.. now my brother is in happy life.. yeah he was homeless.. he sleep over friends house hopping around .. but now he's much better man.. had a job, life, girlfriend, and yeah a nice home. it made my brother retlize that living on your own isn't easy task.
 
ghsh1996 said:
I want tell you what is going on. Our marriage are very tenision. We went to crazy when we left each other. It was very hardest for us. We cried all day and night. We ended up being sick. We felt like want to die. We met each other then we cried all day. We realize that we cannot let ourselves go. We decide to start over again and start to learn to love again. We know that it wont be easy.

Thank you for support me, Everyone.

I don't say it is my husband's all fault. We have both faults. We have money issue, job issue, our personal issue and my husband's son's issue. We had to made his son move out from our house again last saturday because we don't want his issue effect our marriage. Now he is homeless but We cannot let him live with us anymore.
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Wow, that is good, true love does stand together thru storms. It is between husband and wife to work together and decide together, which is no 3rd party involve which make it even better. Good to hear.
 
ghsh1996 said:
My stepson have lot of problem himself. He did shoplifting, broke few law, do drugs. He cannot keep a job in long terms. He got fired from 3 different job that he worked only for one month. He don't want find job or don't want work. He dont take shower or dont wash his laundry. We cannot take care of him because he is already 20 years old. My husband don't like see him that he was homeless but he realized that his issue hurt our marriage and budget. We had to throw him out from our house 4 times. He is homeless now but we cannot take him in our house anymore. We gave him chance 4 time. It is last chance that we gave him.
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You are not the only one. My aunt has the same problem. His mother had to change her house telephone number because his friends were drug addicts. They had the same phone number for 30 years. Now, she doesn't have a choice. Her son was arrested twice.

The SWAT crashed her house at 5:00 a.m. and arrested her son. He was fired from his job two times. His parents still send him to a rehabilitation every week, and they pay his lawyers a lot of money. The rehabilitation isn't quite perfect, but he is getting better.

Unfortunately, he is not interested to get a job at all after he graduated HS two years ago. I am stuck with him because he is my cousin. I don't see him often because he has no responsibilities for his future. I tried to convince the mother to make him to get a job, and she loves her son. She gives him some money from her work. She works in 2nd shift. I am sure that she has no idea what her son doing in her house awhile she is at work. I gave it up, and left them alone. Maybe, the son will get older and to be aware of his situation.

Did you try to send him to a rehabilitation? Maybe, it might improve his responsibilities. It is better than nothing.
 
webexplorer said:
Did you try to send him to a rehabilitation? Maybe, it might improve his responsibilities. It is better than nothing.
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Well, That are not our job to pay his rehabiltion. He is already 20 years old. We already paid his many fines, court, army, etc. We had enough with him. He don't want our advice! We had to throw him out!

Tell your aunt that his son to get his life or he will total stuck.
 
webexplorer said:
You are not the only one. My aunt has the same problem. His mother had to change her house telephone number because his friends were drug addicts. They had the same phone number for 30 years. Now, she doesn't have a choice. Her son was arrested twice.

The SWAT crashed her house at 5:00 a.m. and arrested her son. He was fired from his job two times. His parents still send him to a rehabilitation every week, and they pay his lawyers a lot of money. The rehabilitation isn't quite perfect, but he is getting better.

Unfortunately, he is not interested to get a job at all after he graduated HS two years ago. I am stuck with him because he is my cousin. I don't see him often because he has no responsibilities for his future. I tried to convince the mother to make him to get a job, and she loves her son. She gives him some money from her work. She works in 2nd shift. I am sure that she has no idea what her son doing in her house awhile she is at work. I gave it up, and left them alone. Maybe, the son will get older and to be aware of his situation.

Did you try to send him to a rehabilitation? Maybe, it might improve his responsibilities. It is better than nothing.
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that not so good!

but im tell you drugs and lots of mores but i would suggestion you getting away from drugs and free.but drugs is wrong!

i would suggestion your friends or his friends MUST get drugs free or going to the rehab its so serious in the laws!

if police searches at yours friends or his as drugs they never hide! they will arrest what kind types of drugs,shots,etc or also overdrugs like any people who got dies from that! im warning
 
I'm sorry things didn't work out the way it should. Just hang in there and you'll be ok. it is hard, i've been there and it sucked. but i'm remarried and more happier than ever. You will do the same when the time is right! :hug:
 
ghsh1996 said:
I want tell you what is going on. Our marriage are very tenision. We went to crazy when we left each other. It was very hardest for us. We cried all day and night. We ended up being sick. We felt like want to die. We met each other then we cried all day. We realize that we cannot let ourselves go. We decide to start over again and start to learn to love again. We know that it wont be easy.

Thank you for support me, Everyone.

I don't say it is my husband's all fault. We have both faults. We have money issue, job issue, our personal issue and my husband's son's issue. We had to made his son move out from our house again last saturday because we don't want his issue effect our marriage. Now he is homeless but We cannot let him live with us anymore.
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oops.. sorry i didn't read this part..

just ignore my first post. Glad things are working out for you two. communication is #1 and that makes the relationship work. just listen and feel. you two will be just fine! there will be ups and downs of course but just make it work! hugs
 
Aww.. Sorry about that.. Glad you re manageable staying strong! :):):) Soon feeling better! okie :)
 
ghsh1996 said:
He is already 20 years old. We already paid his many fines, court, army, etc. We had enough with him. He don't want our advice! We had to throw him out!
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You gonna do what you gonna do, and seems even so your step son hasn't grow up yet and be responsible. You did all you had to do, and what more can you do? If he won't change, throw him out, one day he gonna learn that this is what life is all about, take it or leave it. ;) I'm glad to see that You're giving your marriage a second chance, It's worth a shot. ;)
 
ghsh1996 said:
My stepson have lot of problem himself. He did shoplifting, broke few law, do drugs. He cannot keep a job in long terms. He got fired from 3 different job that he worked only for one month. He don't want find job or don't want work. He dont take shower or dont wash his laundry. We cannot take care of him because he is already 20 years old. My husband don't like see him that he was homeless but he realized that his issue hurt our marriage and budget. We had to throw him out from our house 4 times. He is homeless now but we cannot take him in our house anymore. We gave him chance 4 time. It is last chance that we gave him.
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You shouldn't have to give him four chances, Hell I would have thrown his buns out on the street from day one, Life is not about taking advantage of people, They're responsible for their own life, and make it happen. You shouldn't be the one doing so much work for him, What does he think you are? Mr. Bill Gates? He sounds like a bum that depends on people way too much. :ugh3: If he was under my roof, and he was in jail for drugs, I'll leave him there. Make him learn his lesson the hard way.
 
ghsh1996 said:
My stepson have lot of problem himself. He did shoplifting, broke few law, do drugs. He cannot keep a job in long terms. He got fired from 3 different job that he worked only for one month. He don't want find job or don't want work. He dont take shower or dont wash his laundry. We cannot take care of him because he is already 20 years old. My husband don't like see him that he was homeless but he realized that his issue hurt our marriage and budget. We had to throw him out from our house 4 times. He is homeless now but we cannot take him in our house anymore. We gave him chance 4 time. It is last chance that we gave him.
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My aunt went thru that with my cousin...she became homeless and got involved in a prositution ring to earn money to support her meth addiction. It is sad when drugs take over people's lives like that. I pray that my 2 children wont get involved with drugs. That's one of my worse fears for them.

I am really sorry about your stepston but u gotta what u gotta do and there is a time when the line needs to be drawn. Hope he will hit rock bottom and work hard on improving himself.
 
ghsh1996 said:
excuse me, Please don't tell me about dont have to tell everyone about my plan. alldeaf members are my friends. They support me. I cannot cover my story because some of them already know me.
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well.. why u married ur man? You are carefully observation about him.
 
TheHipflash said:
well.. why u married ur man? You are carefully observation about him.
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She has every right to vent out her feelings just like any other members here at AD. We are here to give members support and caring, If you can't say anything nice, maybe you are better off not reading this thread. ;)
 
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