How do you feel when someone stare at you....

[Pepsi]

It happen to me yesterday when I was at the store ( I forgot my hearing aids) and I was having trouble understanding the woman at the check out and some asshole kept staring at me :roll:

 

[djchur]

Me, too. I remember my deaf friends and I used to watch Dynasty and also, Dallas-Who shot J.R. Ewing? They were good shows.
Joan Collins (as Alexis) who is a British actress and she's also a best-selling author. I have read some of hers.

Joan Collins is an actress, it's her sister Jackie who is the best-selling author.

 

[jasin]

So, is it rude to stare? (I know people have the right to look because it's a free country). How do you feel when someone stare at you? because you sign with your friends or whoever.

I think its rude to stare at anyone, regardless of whether the person is deaf or not.

 

[jasin]

i just ask what do they need or if they want to learn asl

Good response

 

[jasin]

I think maybe though, sometimes hearies are just curious or they are wanting to learn ASL.

 

[Nika]

A lot of hearing folks eavesdrop on conversations in foreign languages so I think it's the same kind of thing except that since ASL happens to be a visual language it turns into staring instead of eavesdropping.

 

[Hollisterbabe7]

Wow, I notice a lot of people keep staring at me whenever I was signing to my best friend or my fiance...they was like drooling over our hands signing... or just girls of me and my best friend so pretty .... I turned around and looked at them that I knew they were staring at us...*smart* I think those people are very much interested to learn sign language...but I think its a little rude to stare at-- show some manners. I never stare back at them or being nosy in their conversation--*Warning::I can read lips very well-Smart!!*

At work,*I am deaf myself * I was signing to my hearing best friend-*co-worker* we were signing like forever, and laughing...other co-workers which was our friends...they were totally jealous that we can sign/talk and having a good time...they have been wanting to learn signs so they can communicate with me as well. Also they were like puzzled to try to see what we were signing/talking about..you know the topic..I was surprised that they started bothering me and asking me for some new signs to learn...so they can have a good time with me signing and laughing- just like me and my best friend have at the moment.. I was pretty excited about it and making so many friends at work as well.

 

[FadedRose]

I do not sign but I need to learn as I am just about 100% deaf without my hearing aids and have lost more hearing which I do not have much left but I can relate to being stared at in public when I wear my hair up. I've had people just stare at my ears as if they'd never seen a hearing aid, much less on someone as young as me. Once I went to subway to get some food for my husband and me and had my hair cut short. I was feeling pretty confidant about being a deaf person and figured, why hide it? That same day I got my hair cut I my self esteem died. The moment I opened my mouth the cashier started to laugh at me, not only did she laugh but the girl serving me also laughed and seemed to treat me as if I were stupid when I misunderstood her when she asked me if I wanted my sub toasted. I had thought she asked me if I wanted turkey on it. I kept saying " I do not want turkey ". I pretty much left the store in tears and since then have grown my hair back out and I refuse to wear my hair up in public, and when I do need something my husband often times will speak for me.

I hate using my voice and would rather use my hands-but do not know how to sign yet and my husband isn't what you'd call dedicated enough to stick with it just yet. So in a way I feel...trapped. Most of the time even at work I just stay quiet. I'd prefer not to talk due to how I'm looked at when I do. I think I have a pretty good speaking voice for my hearing loss but it's quite obvious I am deaf because when I went to taco bell not too long ago the cashier there was MUCH NICER. She started to sign to me and I wish I knew what she said. I did catch the sign for " you are beautiful" and I thanked her in sign. It hurts that it's that obvious I am Deaf but might as well learn to live with it.

Most of you here have been an inspiration to me. Thank you.

Sheri.

 

[Braydens Mom]

I have to admit. I LOVE to people watch. I could sit for hours and watch people walk by. I do not do it to be rude, or disrespectful. I am hearing, but am slowly losing it. If I saw someone signing, I was in awe.. How incredible to be able to communicate with hands and gesture.
Now that I am learning ASL. If I see someone signing, it draws my attention even more. I am fascinated with the language.

 

[Daredevel7]

Some people stare at me because they overhear my deaf voice and usually they are trying to figure out why I am talking like that. Also I speak really fast with close friends, so combine that with the deaf voice... it really confuses people. I usually look at them in the eye and ask "Hi, How are you doing?" and they are like "Oh hey *mumbles* yea I was just yea... good Im doing good..." then they look away. It amuses me to put them on the spot.

 

[Shuya]

I always try to ignore these people who stare at us if I'm signing with my mother.

And sometimes I get mad about some parents with their little children. :roll:
Child, pointing his finger at us: "Mom, why are they playing with their hands?"
Embarrased Mother: "Shh, don't look/point at them!"

It's like as we're having kind of an infectious disease.

My aunt went once to a child: "They are my sister and her daughter. They can't hear and that's how they can understand each other. It's called sign language."
The child is pleased.
Then she looked to the mother: "I know little children can ask a lot of questions. Maybe parents aren't able to answer all of them. It's alright to say "I don't know what they're doing" instead to teach your child that people who communicate with their hands are to avoid."

 

[nicknrm]

When I was growing up, I use to "stare" at people who signed. As I was learning sign language, I use to do the same.

Now, students in the ASL classes I teach as if it's rude to stare at a deaf person who is signing. My common response is "At the level you all are at, it probably is OK, just be polite about it"...I'm not sure if that's wrong or not...but it's my approach. Many people are fascinated about sign language. Many think it is a beautiful language and love to watch.

Yes, it is kinda rude though, now that I've went further in my career.

So, is it rude to stare? (I know people have the right to look because it's a free country). How do you feel when someone stare at you? because you sign with your friends or whoever.

 

[missywinks]

I look at them with a huge smile and wink!

 

[sleepytaz]

For Hear Again to understand Aghori's post

aghori,

i don't understand your post.

it was a video of a guy having this weird stare when a man was in the process of sitting down. The guy had this eye on his left eye that looked like it was popping out. Weird staring. Since this post is about staring at people. I hope I wasn't too late to explain.


As for me: if people stare at me, I usually just smile and wave at them.

 

[Wiesnmadl]

How do I feel when someone stares at me? Well, that really depends on how those people stare.
Mostly I can differenciate a rude stare and a long curios look.
If people really stare in a rude way and don't even bother to look away when I glance at them, I just ask them in a friendly way, if there is something I can do for them. The main reaction to that is looking away, very embarrassed.
Someone looking curiosly at me/us, may earn him or herself a friendly smile.
Yet those people don't bother me as much as people are, who are talking about us in a really unpleasent way, right next to us.
That's a really rude behavior, and most of the times I say something.
It also very often happens that a 'gazer' turns out to be deaf himself.

 

[VamPyroX]

How do I feel when someone stares at me? Well, that really depends on how those people stare.
Mostly I can differenciate a rude stare and a long curios look.
If people really stare in a rude way and don't even bother to look away when I glance at them, I just ask them in a friendly way, if there is something I can do for them. The main reaction to that is looking away, very embarrassed.
Someone looking curiosly at me/us, may earn him or herself a friendly smile.
Yet those people don't bother me as much as people are, who are talking about us in a really unpleasent way, right next to us.
That's a really rude behavior, and most of the times I say something.
It also very often happens that a 'gazer' turns out to be deaf himself.

Yeah, that's how it usually is with me. I usually just ignore the stares unless it's the kind of stare that needs a friendly response.

 

[marymae]

I try not to be rude because if that person was interested in ASL, saw me signing and then I flicked them off or something, that's one less hearing person that makes the effort to communicate with Deaf/HoH folk.

It bothers me, sure, but I usually just catch their eye and smile.

I find myself too shy to say hi so I tend to look a few times hoping to catch a eye to give me guts enough to say hi. I don't mean to be rude about it what-so-ever and I am afraid that someone is going to be rude *like a few people on here said they can be*. I think that Mayberries is absolutely correct, if someone was to be rude to me then I would say I can't do this anymore and never be able to get more involved with the deaf community. Some are shy in various cultures and backgrounds, right? Is there a correct way to approach someone and sign with them to say hi? How can you tell if they are going to be rude about you coming up and say hi and wanting to talk just to talk or learn more?

 

[Bottesini]

I find myself too shy to say hi so I tend to look a few times hoping to catch a eye to give me guts enough to say hi. I don't mean to be rude about it what-so-ever and I am afraid that someone is going to be rude *like a few people on here said they can be*. I think that Mayberries is absolutely correct, if someone was to be rude to me then I would say I can't do this anymore and never be able to get more involved with the deaf community. Some are shy in various cultures and backgrounds, right? Is there a correct way to approach someone and sign with them to say hi? How can you tell if they are going to be rude about you coming up and say hi and wanting to talk just to talk or learn more?

Maybe just go to a deaf chat coffee or somewhere they expect ASL students?

If you are shy yourself, surely you can put yourself in my shoes too, as it makes me very uncomfortable and frightened if strangers rush up to me to try their sign out. (and this happened recently in the mall when a salesman from the vitamin store rushed out to tell me all about his church's mission to the deaf.)