Housewarming party causing a split between friends!

This reminds of my sister's situation a long time ago. We were invited to her brand-new huge beautiful house for the party. I felt guilty to see the beautiful home. I am happy for her that she worked so hard. The problem is a friendship is what we need to support. A question in my mind - is she willing to help me someday? Probably never. It's hard for me to say about it. Actually, I enjoyed there and felt comfortable to be there with her and her friends. It has nothing to do with my jealous, but in a way that really hurt my feelings - I must say that it is not really a big deal to me. It is more important for us that we have our own home period. shel90, Don't you feel that way?

Off subject, she and her family have been living in the house for 20 years. They are going to sell the house in the spring, and they will build a small ranch house with a solar energy and perhaps a small windpower somewhere. They cannot stand to hear about the oil problems on the news.
 
shel90 said:
Now, that detail, I do not know about and I feel I do not need to know anyway. It is not important to me. I just love to be around my friend cuz she is so hilarous and good-hearted. Just unfortunate that her housewarming party became an issue like that. Hopefully, as time passes, people will move on. About her friendship with those few who didnt go, it is between them. Hope they all work everything out..if not, then it wasnt meant to be.
Click to expand...

I know what you mean. It cast such a pall on your friend's party. At least she knows for sure who her REAL friends are. Your friend sounds like someone I'd like and respect very much. That kind of person is pretty cool. The world's getting too small for the negative stuff. Your friend would probably tell you, maybe not but it's too bad some people found out about her house and acted so negatively. That alone makes them look BAD. Ugh.

There's a LOT worse things than "not going to a housewarming party" just because of how the new homeowner got the house. Thanks for sharing and putting some things into perspective.
 
It shows who your real friends are. If you feel in your heart you want to go, then go. The others are just not her real friends. Everyone's an adult and should know whether to choose not to go or go. No one needs to be telling them their opinion.

I don't have any comment about her parents giving her the house. You should think about whether or not she's a real friend to you.
 
ClearSky said:
It shows who your real friends are. If you feel in your heart you want to go, then go. The others are just not her real friends. Everyone's an adult and should know whether to choose not to go or go. No one needs to be telling them their opinion.

I don't have any comment about her parents giving her the house. You should think about whether or not she's a real friend to you.
Click to expand...

:confused: She did nothing to me. I went whether some people liked it or not. I just thought it was interesting how some people viewed differently on what a housewarming party should be for.
 
shel90 said:
:...I just thought it was interesting how some people viewed differently on what a housewarming party should be for.
Click to expand...
Traditionally, a housewarming was an occasion for family and friends to help a family get established in their new home. That meant, bringing food, and gifts that would help the household, such as linens, small furnishings and kitchen wares, plant starters and seeds for the garden, etc. More like a house "shower" (like a wedding or baby shower).

They have also become occasions for people to show off their new houses.

Party411 The Etiquette Queen
 
Reba said:
Traditionally, a housewarming was an occasion for family and friends to help a family get established in their new home. That meant, bringing food, and gifts that would help the household, such as linens, small furnishings and kitchen wares, plant starters and seeds for the garden, etc. More like a house "shower" (like a wedding or baby shower).

They have also become occasions for people to show off their new houses.

Party411 The Etiquette Queen
Click to expand...

Sadly, "housewarming" parties have turned into that fashion. It is, now, our duty to ensure the tradition of housewarming parties. These times, we (enlightended as we are) are indebted into doing so.
 
I guess she knows for sure who are the real friends
 
shel90 said:
Yea, I guess some people, in their view, to celebrate the purchase of a home should come from one's hard work to save up for it or earning enough income to purchase it. They felt that my friend shouldnt have a big party to rub it in some people's faces who arent able to afford houses after working their butts off for years and years. Interesting on how people view things.
Click to expand...

It seem to me that they do not satisfy with that kind of life, they have?

Sure, we work hard to save up but why complaint for?
 
Wokamuka said:
I am of the opinion that the spirit behind a housewarming party is to celebrate home ownership with the expectations that many memories and milestones will be experienced within its walls. The circumstances of how a person owns a home never should be a factor.

Some people bring food. Some bring gifts. Some have a priest blessing the house. The intent is communal: a good home to be enjoyed by its owner.

Those who refused to attend are just downright spiteful. Who'd want to be associated with them nor be in their presence?
Click to expand...

Yes I second that.
 
Reba said:
Traditionally, a housewarming was an occasion for family and friends to help a family get established in their new home. That meant, bringing food, and gifts that would help the household, such as linens, small furnishings and kitchen wares, plant starters and seeds for the garden, etc. More like a house "shower" (like a wedding or baby shower).

They have also become occasions for people to show off their new houses.

Party411 The Etiquette Queen
Click to expand...

Interesting :shock:

We do have housewarming parties here in Germany but it's not similar as US housewarming like what the link, you provided here. Expect the gifts for housewarming, baby shower or wedding anniversaries are uncommon here in Germany which is very different as wedding or "0th" birthday... I attended many parties in the past... I asked them what they wish for their housewarming... Their most reply is NOTHING because they have everything... but happy that I have time for their party like what I said the same thing... most bring plants, flowers, basket of fruits or foods what they really need for everyday, coupon or whatever...because they don't beleive in go parties with empty hands. We don't have baby shower but we recieved the gift when they made their surprised visit to see our baby, that's all...

I hosted housewarming party... We need nothing from our friends because we have everything... They kept on ask us what we really need... We kept on :dunno: :dunno: :dunno: - they suggest us about the things for garden... I never thought that we need it... Some friends donated together to buy garden things for us... others bring plants, flowers, basket of foods or fruit... We do not need Etiquette to tell them what to do... it's up to them or us... We know automatic that we should not go there with empty hands... that's all.
 
I always bring some foods to my friend's house. I am very surprised that their deaf friends don't bring anything at the meeting at someone's house. I was the only one so I am not giving it up. I guess that they are too cheap. I thought that we could bring something, and that is what our friends for. It is a same idea for a housewarming party.
 
Crab theory at its finest. I would just go to the party because I want to enjoy myself.
 
Through traditional ways, I was told that a housewarming party is NOT hosted by new homeowner. (I grew up within a different society and . . .) The definition of a TRUE housewarming party is: the owner of the house is surprised that a party visits, bearing gifts. Then, soon thereafter, another surprise visit. Soon, thereafter, another visit. So on and so forth.

Case in point: A housewarming party is not planned by the new houseowner. It is coordinated by the new houseowner's friends - out of care and out of the spirit of endearment.

I realize that, within the Deaf/rest of society's community, it is planned. Within my childhood's expectations, it is unexpected.
 
Wokamuka said:
Through traditional ways, I was told that a housewarming party is NOT hosted by new homeowner. (I grew up within a different society and . . .) The definition of a TRUE housewarming party is: the owner of the house is surprised that a party visits, bearing gifts. Then, soon thereafter, another surprise visit. Soon, thereafter, another visit. So on and so forth.

Case in point: A housewarming party is not planned by the new houseowner. It is coordinated by the new houseowner's friends - out of care and out of the spirit of endearment.

I realize that, within the Deaf/rest of society's community, it is planned. Within my childhood's expectations, it is unexpected.
Click to expand...
I like the surprise housewarming--sounds like a real community celebration. :)

It reminds me of my baby shower. My friends gave me a surprise shower; it was very sweet of them. The cake was home made and some of the gifts were hand made by my friends and family; all very precious, and I still have them (the handmade baby clothes and blankets, not the cake, ha, ha.)
 
Wokamuka said:
Through traditional ways, I was told that a housewarming party is NOT hosted by new homeowner. (I grew up within a different society and . . .) The definition of a TRUE housewarming party is: the owner of the house is surprised that a party visits, bearing gifts. Then, soon thereafter, another surprise visit. Soon, thereafter, another visit. So on and so forth.

Case in point: A housewarming party is not planned by the new houseowner. It is coordinated by the new houseowner's friends - out of care and out of the spirit of endearment.

I realize that, within the Deaf/rest of society's community, it is planned. Within my childhood's expectations, it is unexpected.
Click to expand...

Interesting...maybe those few who refused to go grew up with the same traditions and were offended that my friend hosted it one for herself?
 
shel90 said:
Interesting...maybe those few who refused to go grew up with the same traditions and were offended that my friend hosted it one for herself?
Click to expand...

Yours was a different tradition and I am aware of it. The tradition that I grew up within is different. Those who refused to go have stated their reasons for doing so - it is, in my humble opinion, contrary to the true spirit behind a true housewarming party. (See where I am coming from?)

I seek the true spirit. You observed it. The others; obviously, spiteful.
 
hmm

It's why I judge others by who they are but certain not by their wealth status so should all do the same.

That is unless they boast it too much, ofc. lol
 
Back
Top