Drugs and relationships.

Sylentman said:
I am sorry to hear about your situation, but you will find a right gal!

It happened to me when I was with my ex girlfriend. She used drugs with her friends for a couple of weeks without me know. Once she admitted to me, I was done with her quickly.
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Good to hear that, Sylentman! I would have done the same thing . . . that same day. I would have told her to "make sure the door doesn't hit you on the ass on the way out!"
 
Cheri said:
Yep, I've been in a relationship with a guy who was on heavy drugs and alcohol. He hid it from me at the beginning of our relationship for about six months, then we moved in together. I started to realized his issue with drugs and alcohol. I even helped him get on a program AA. I actually thought he was gonna quit, but then after his 12 step program was thru, he went back on drinking and end up with two DUI's. I bailed him out of jail twice, then he was busted on drugs. I said hell with it, I'm leaving. Lol. It was too much bullshit, I couldn't deal with it anymore. I am a very patient person when I can be, but this was just about too much I could handle with him, so I decide to break it off with him, it was the best decision I've made. ;)
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Cheri,

For the sake of answering so people don't think I'm gay and only bash women (I actually don't), I need to tell you that you did way too much for that guy. You are way too nice! You bailed him out twice? If I had been you, the first phone call I would have told him to get better acquainted with his hand, because we are through. If it had been the bail bonds that had called you, I would have laughed at them and said to them to give him my message (laughing out loud): "Find yourself another girl to be your mop and bucket, we're through."

That, Sister, is what is called, "Tough Love." You don't actually have to love the guy, but, this doesn't mean that you have to take him back, of which I would not. He's got a selection of many guys in jail to become his groom!:bowlol:
 
Drugs and relationships

Dark-Half said:
I just dumped my gf of 8 months because she lied and can't resist taking e. She promised me it was a 1 time only thing and because she was really stressed. I tried to be tolerant of it, the next day I find her wired to more drugs (claiming its after-effects of E, whereas E doesn't have after-effects) and ask her again to comfirm "It was a one time only thing right?" I get fed lines "But ... it made me feel alive" "It's orgasmic" It was sickening.

I felt so betrayed. You gotta be kidding me, if she'd rather find happiness in pills she can go choke on them. It's not like it was going too well anyways, she didn't seem too mature about anything. When I was getting my op her way to cope with worry was getting drunk. Her way to handle depression - e and a joint. I don't want to be with anyone who can't handle their emotions maturely. Frankly I didn't want to dump her, she was a great girl except for those facts. It made me rather angry. I tried to talk her out of it, but she tells me I can't tell her to stop living. The fuck does drugs have to do with living? They're a god damn escape from reality.

Any of you guys have to put up with inane bullshit such as? It really left a hole in my gut.
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Drugs and relationships do not mix, at some point the trust will not be there. so no , do not tolerate it, you want to hope that she gets some help, if not you have to separate yourself from her, she needs help. recognize at some point she got hooked and encourage her to get help. and you know what take a brake from dating and allow yourself to regain strength. Move on and find other things to keep busy so you won't have to think about her .you can do it.
Get into the word of God find out who you are in him,he will provide you with a loving dedicated wife, just give it all to him. He cares for you.
ESTHERSCROWN
 
I really know where your coming from. I'm happy you got yourself out of that relationship. I was in a really great relationship.. We were supposed to get married last August. Then in June of last year he got deep into drugs and alchol. He ended up getting caught stealing from my grandfather, and put in jail in July. He was clean and sober, and we were trying to work on things and now, he is back on drugs like its no big deal. I would leave but I'm one of those people who want to help everyone. We also have two children together. I know kids is no reason to stay with someone, but its easier said than done. I guess I'm afraid of what the next step for me would be if I left. Could I ever find a man who w0uld love me and my children?
 
sparkle73 said:
I really know where your coming from. I'm happy you got yourself out of that relationship. I was in a really great relationship.. We were supposed to get married last August. Then in June of last year he got deep into drugs and alchol. He ended up getting caught stealing from my grandfather, and put in jail in July. He was clean and sober, and we were trying to work on things and now, he is back on drugs like its no big deal. I would leave but I'm one of those people who want to help everyone. We also have two children together. I know kids is no reason to stay with someone, but its easier said than done. I guess I'm afraid of what the next step for me would be if I left. Could I ever find a man who w0uld love me and my children?
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Where's ur pride?...Has he taken that from you also?...Children should NOT be in a home when the parents are "drugging"! If you love ur kids, you'd get out! But are you just thinking about urself?....You'll never know the answer until you make a clean break, and get on with ur life, give ur kids a good, clean life!

I've been there and done that! For 5 years! It's possible that leaving him and taking the kids, might wake him up! Then again, he might choose the drugs over you and the kids. That's something you need to find out!

You are risking losing ur children! The State could step in and take them away from you! I know, because it happened to someone that I know, and she lost her 2 kids for 8 months!

My advise is to get out! If ur husband loves you and the kids, he will find a way himself! You can only help someone, as long as they help themselves! And apparently, right now, he knows you're not gonna leave him! So, he's "walking all over you"! Even stealing from ur family!....That is very low! Not worth it!
 
Dark-Half,

im sorry about your ex had drugs

i never using drugs front of my families and my friends and expect my boyfriend.

mostly dating couples had problems with drugs like meth,cocaine,whatevers types of drugs they can arrest! And also married couples always careful not front of children saw parents or family had drugs they can arrest!! no jokes.

examples: if your children got hide from you for drugs like bed or whatevers they if you found out wanted know what kind of drugs if your children had it from dealers.They can kickout of your kids house and no longers your house that my idea! And also if i had my own kids somedays i wont let my kids had drugs in our house NEVER!! if had drugs in my house i will call police or kickout house 2 choice! you can doit!
 
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Been there done that for years and will be going to court next week to divorce that " Pot Head"
 
As ex-addict, my advice is never get in relationship with people who are on drugs till they are sober. First-dating with drugs, forget it.
 
rockin'robin said:
Where's ur pride?...Has he taken that from you also?...Children should NOT be in a home when the parents are "drugging"! If you love ur kids, you'd get out! But are you just thinking about urself?....You'll never know the answer until you make a clean break, and get on with ur life, give ur kids a good, clean life!

I've been there and done that! For 5 years! It's possible that leaving him and taking the kids, might wake him up! Then again, he might choose the drugs over you and the kids. That's something you need to find out!

You are risking losing ur children! The State could step in and take them away from you! I know, because it happened to someone that I know, and she lost her 2 kids for 8 months!

My advise is to get out! If ur husband loves you and the kids, he will find a way himself! You can only help someone, as long as they help themselves! And apparently, right now, he knows you're not gonna leave him! So, he's "walking all over you"! Even stealing from ur family!....That is very low! Not worth it!
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I agree. "You can lead a horse to water, but you can not make it drink"


It is something that the individual has to do on their own. Without children being involved. A significant other, parent, best friend, or anyone can talk to them and preach to them about drugs until they turn blue. But it is something a person has to figure out on their own. I have seen so many people go through rehab. The drug addict will tell anyone what they want to hear. They will behave for a while. Do good... but once they get that urge. It is all about will power and truly wanting to change for themselves. I am not saying that you can not support them or cheer them on. I am just saying you have to stand guarded.

Can not expect them to change for you or any other. They have to want to do it.
 
rockin'robin said:
Where's ur pride?...Has he taken that from you also?...Children should NOT be in a home when the parents are "drugging"! If you love ur kids, you'd get out! But are you just thinking about urself?....You'll never know the answer until you make a clean break, and get on with ur life, give ur kids a good, clean life!

I've been there and done that! For 5 years! It's possible that leaving him and taking the kids, might wake him up! Then again, he might choose the drugs over you and the kids. That's something you need to find out!

You are risking losing ur children! The State could step in and take them away from you! I know, because it happened to someone that I know, and she lost her 2 kids for 8 months!

My advise is to get out! If ur husband loves you and the kids, he will find a way himself! You can only help someone, as long as they help themselves! And apparently, right now, he knows you're not gonna leave him! So, he's "walking all over you"! Even stealing from ur family!....That is very low! Not worth it!
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:gpost: You nailed it beautifully, My ex who is the father of my son, before my son was born, he was arrested for DUI twice, had to bailed his sorry butt out of jail, and I told him it was his last straw, after my son was born, he got arrested again, this time was a drug bust, I said hell with it, I'm gone. I called my parents and told them to get me out of there. While my ex was still sitting in jail I got myself and my son out and left for good without turning back. No regrets however-so.

It's not worth losing your kids over a man who has an addiction for drugs and alcohol.


And Pepsi, You deserve so much better, I can't wait for your divorce to be final. :hug:

pek1 said:
Cheri,

For the sake of answering so people don't think I'm gay and only bash women (I actually don't), I need to tell you that you did way too much for that guy. You are way too nice! You bailed him out twice? If I had been you, the first phone call I would have told him to get better acquainted with his hand, because we are through. If it had been the bail bonds that had called you, I would have laughed at them and said to them to give him my message (laughing out loud): "Find yourself another girl to be your mop and bucket, we're through."
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Sorry, I didn't see your post until now. :lol: You know during that time I used to think people can change if they put their foot down but he did not proved to me that he was willing to make a differences. I just didn't want to waste anymore of my life with him, hoping, waiting and expecting him to change when it isn't going to happen especially when you have a little child in your life. ;)
 
Ahh... all too similar.

She sounds like an addict. An addict's addiction will always be number 1. Feeding the addiction comes first before their best friend, their family, most importantly, their children. Yeah, I left my husband 7 months ago because he got so out of hand with his lying, stealing, betraying...etc. Then, I find out 3 months after I left him, that he was popping opiates for aleast 3 of the 5 years we were together. We are going through a divorce now. Had no clue he was on drugs, but my daughter and I definately suffered from the effects of it. It's heartbreaking to see them throw their life away and can't help them. They have to want to help themselves to quit and she does not seem to think she has a problem. So, really, you are doing yourself a favor by getting out now before it gets worse. Trust me, things go downhill FAST when it comes to drug addicts. Best luck to you.
 
meh, dont think that spouse or other person will be perfect just cuz theyre off drugs.
 
yeah I have that problem. I kept going back to one guy who promised me he wud change but I'm almost so done with him cuz he's going back to reno to work at u-haul it's only part-time job . he is giving me more problems than I thought. but he's pothead and drinks once in a while but he treats me nicely but the probelm is his mom likes me ugh pretty ALOT than I thought sheesh.. :roll:
 
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