do you found it hard communite with family?

In family groups, I can't understand anything that the older generation says in a group setting, but for different reasons. They speak Spanish. I've noticed that people here wish their family knew sign, but I get the feeling that it wouldn't make much of a difference unless the family grew up with sign. My whole family above my generation (except grandparents) know English very well but it's not their mother tongue. Even when they start the story in English, they tend to revert to Spanish when they get excited. They would repeat it for me in English but sometimes the effect is lost. Sometimes they don't even know how to convey the story in English as well in Spanish due to slang/idioms/etc. Luckily, my mom is more in tune with English than the rest of the family, so she can translate very well for me.
 
Daredevel7 said:
In family groups, I can't understand anything that the older generation says in a group setting, but for different reasons. They speak Spanish. I've noticed that people here wish their family knew sign, but I get the feeling that it wouldn't make much of a difference unless the family grew up with sign. My whole family above my generation (except grandparents) know English very well but it's not their mother tongue. Even when they start the story in English, they tend to revert to Spanish when they get excited. They would repeat it for me in English but sometimes the effect is lost. Sometimes they don't even know how to convey the story in English as well in Spanish due to slang/idioms/etc. Luckily, my mom is more in tune with English than the rest of the family, so she can translate very well for me.
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I have some friends who have hearing family members who sign..I can see the difference whenever I get invited to their family gatherings.
 
shel90 said:
I have some friends who have hearing family members who sign..I can see the difference whenever I get invited to their family gatherings.
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Mmm... let me retract my earlier post. If my family knew ONLY Spanish, yes it would be much harder. You're right, there IS a difference. I meant that it STILL wouldn't be perfect if the family knew sign, but yes it would be much easier.
 
Daredevel7 said:
Mmm... let me retract my earlier post. If my family knew ONLY Spanish, yes it would be much harder. You're right, there IS a difference. I meant that it STILL wouldn't be perfect if the family knew sign, but yes it would be much easier.
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Right..I noticed that the more family members who knew sign, the more inclusive the deaf family member is even among those who dont know sign because whenever the members used ASL, the non-signing family members are made aware of not knowing what is being said therefore they are able to put themselves in the deaf member's shoes and try to be as inclusive whenever they say something. Just something I have noticed between a family who has members who sign as opposed to a family where nobody knows sign.
 
My parents use deafblind manual so I can understand but for some reason my dad still makes mistakes so I keep having to ask him to repeat. He keeps missing letters out. I communicate with him better via email.

That's about it as far as my family is concerned. My brother lives in australia. I haven't heard anything form him for years. Even before that he only used block capital letters. My other relatives are not on speaking terms with my dad. They fell out after mother died.
 
i get left out at the dinner table because my family talks too quiet and fast for me to understand. it's just my immediate family (3 sisters and mum) but they still won't slow down or speak up for me, UNLESS they have something to say to me specifically. so they'll be having a conversation, and since it doesn't concern me or since THEY don't think i'd have anything to say about the topic, they don't speak up and they just talk amongst themselves. i might as well eat dinner in my room haha, but i still have to eat with them to be "polite" ;)
 
shel90 said:
Right..I noticed that the more family members who knew sign, the more inclusive the deaf family member is even among those who dont know sign because whenever the members used ASL, the non-signing family members are made aware of not knowing what is being said therefore they are able to put themselves in the deaf member's shoes and try to be as inclusive whenever they say something. Just something I have noticed between a family who has members who sign as opposed to a family where nobody knows sign.
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If I recall correctly, I think your ex-husband's family were really good about keeping you informed during group settings. I also remember that they were of hispanic origins. I wonder if hispanics are more accomodating since they tend to be more about the "family". Hmm......
 
My family talks normally with me like they do with hearing people. More often than not, they face towards me as I lip-read well. It is also because I have spent enough time learning to understand the way they speak and they made me work hard to listen better. They would only repeat if I requested them to do so. Overall, we understand each other pretty well.

When my sis moved in with her current bf a few years ago, he and I used to mumble to each other and barely had any discussion to go on with. It was hard for him or me to begin the conversation so we often kept quiet. My sis really did not like that so she encouraged me to speak more clearly and somehow inspired him to speak clearly as well. Over the years he and I have gotten better at holding conversations back and forth and we now understand each other better than before, talking about cars, playstation, racing, big screen tvs, counterstrike and similar guy topics. I look up to him as a role model. He's the one that taught me to stand up for myself as I used to let people have their ways with me in the past. I don't think we would have gotten to this point without my sister's consistent encouragement and I am very thankful that she brought us closer than before. I look up to her as well.

With effort coming from both parties and valuing what each person has to say, it benefits the communication for everyone.
 
Daredevel7 said:
If I recall correctly, I think your ex-husband's family were really good about keeping you informed during group settings. I also remember that they were of hispanic origins. I wonder if hispanics are more accomodating since they tend to be more about the "family". Hmm......
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I think it is because my ex and his siblings grew up having to interpret for their mom who didnt speak English so it was natural for them to make sure I knew what was being said. Yea, they were all born in Mexico. Yep, they are very passionate about family which is why they are pissed off at me for wanting to move to DC to go to Gallaudet and not returning to AZ like I promised. Oh well.

My current hubby's family is wayyyy on the other side of the spectrum. They do NOT make any effort whatsover to ensure that I am included. Even on one-on-one situations, they dont look at me, interrupt me to join other conversations, dont make eye contact, and worse of all...mumble. I hate hate going to their family gatherings but I grin and bear it.
 
My mum refuse to learn to sign and let me wear my aids around her.

She has bipolar and has a hearing loss of 40%. So life with her is hard my aids and in a bipolar mood swing I ended up back in foster care
 
I have no problems communicating with most of my family members. My grandfather is starting to speak quieter. So, I have a hard time understanding him.

My nephews haven't been around me enough to know how clear they have to talk. So, they can be hard to understand at times.
 
serena1986 said:
when are hard of heard and deaf,and you are the only one.:ty:
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For sure! I really dislike family gatherings. I always end up totally faking it (you know, the nods, smiles, "uh-huh, oh really?" stuff to make people think you understand them).

Around the table I just sit there eating while everyone yabbers away. No one talks to me. I have lots of relatives, but I have never felt so alone as I do when I am with them.

Same with hearing classmates.

Yet, when I read stories about the medical community wanting to "eradicate" deafness, I am like that's genocide!

Too bad the hearing world doesn't value deaf language and culture where everyone wants to learn it instead of Spanish or French, ya know?
 
lemontree said:
For sure! I really dislike family gatherings. I always end up totally faking it (you know, the nods, smiles, "uh-huh, oh really?" stuff to make people think you understand them).

Around the table I just sit there eating while everyone yabbers away. No one talks to me. I have lots of relatives, but I have never felt so alone as I do when I am with them.

Same with hearing classmates.

Yet, when I read stories about the medical community wanting to "eradicate" deafness, I am like that's genocide!

Too bad the hearing world doesn't value deaf language and culture where everyone wants to learn it instead of Spanish or French, ya know?
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I have to agree with you on that and yes, I have gone through that just like you had experienced. That is why I was not very happy with the hearing people who don't understand why they think we, Deafies, expect to understand them with lipreading and by using the hearing aid or CI that we can listen to what they said. To them they did not know what was like to be without sounds or living in a quiet world. They have no idea how we, Deafies, have struggle everyday to understand in the only oral mainstream school and in the hearing society with no accommodations. Many of us, Deafies, end up being very comfortable with the Deaf groups with ASL or sign language and less with the hearing society.

HEARING PEOPLE JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ABOUT DEAFNESS AND WHY WE NEED THOSE IMPORTANT TOOLBOXES AND ACCOMMODATIONS, ESPECIALLY WHEN WE WANT TO SIGN THE MOST.

Come on, Hearies, smell the coffee and wake up. Don't try to fix us and it does not do anything good. Just try and get those accommodations which we need them very bad as a Deaf people in the mainstream school or other public places when we need ASL or sign language interpreter. :roll: Geeze.
 
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