do you found it hard communite with family?

S

serena1986

Member
Joined
Sep 24, 2008
Messages
233
Reaction score
1
when are hard of heard and deaf,and you are the only one.:ty:
 
i am one of the lucky ones because many of my family members including relatives sign, so our communication with each other is great. however, it is different in a larger group setting where the majority don't know sign language and i need to ask them what is happening and that is kinda annoying. sometimes, i just sit there quiet, help out in the kitchen or when i am in the mood, i would start games and get some people involved.
 
this reminds me of a poem i did when i was in high school.

Exclusion is dark.
Around people but still feel like a stranger.
It is similar to being a goldfish in a bowl;
You are there but people ignore you.
Always observing things going on
People talking all the time
I am a stranger.

Exclusion stinks.
The stink is familiar for I smell it often.
Relatives say 'hi' and 'bye'
But I sit long hours amongst them.
I keep busy by helping with food, keeping the children busy or I just sit with a smile on my face.
I try to stay positive but sometimes the stench is too much to absorb.

When I see laughter, tears or frowns
Inquire only to meet with 'never minds' or 'it is not important'
I feel like a goldfish again;
ignored and not important.
I know it is not their intention and that they love me, but it still stinks.
Always facing the choice between friends that sign or the family commitment...

Inclusion is colorful.
The Deaf community is of various colors, religions, size and disabilities
Red, blue, yellow, green, and orange.
Here I realize I am normal and treated as equal.
I feel at home and I am ME.

In this colorful world,
Our communication flows back and forth,
Catching up with daily trivials, news, frustrations, & new things.
Hands in the air is musical to my eyes.
It also smells good.

What do I choose?
Inclusion.
 
What a beautiful job at expressing a sad sentiment. Thank you for sharing that, missywinks.:ty:
 
missywinks said:
this reminds me of a poem i did when i was in high school.

Exclusion is dark.
Around people but still feel like a stranger.
It is similar to being a goldfish in a bowl;
You are there but people ignore you.
Always observing things going on
People talking all the time
I am a stranger.

Exclusion stinks.
The stink is familiar for I smell it often.
Relatives say 'hi' and 'bye'
But I sit long hours amongst them.
I keep busy by helping with food, keeping the children busy or I just sit with a smile on my face.
I try to stay positive but sometimes the stench is too much to absorb.

When I see laughter, tears or frowns
Inquire only to meet with 'never minds' or 'it is not important'
I feel like a goldfish again;
ignored and not important.
I know it is not their intention and that they love me, but it still stinks.
Always facing the choice between friends that sign or the family commitment...

Inclusion is colorful.
The Deaf community is of various colors, religions, size and disabilities
Red, blue, yellow, green, and orange.
Here I realize I am normal and treated as equal.
I feel at home and I am ME.

In this colorful world,
Our communication flows back and forth,
Catching up with daily trivials, news, frustrations, & new things.
Hands in the air is musical to my eyes.
It also smells good.

What do I choose?
Inclusion.
Click to expand...

Wow, that poem is good. I think that many here (myself included) can relate to it.
 
The only time my parents ever speak to me is when they want me to do something for them or if they think they need to tell me something important (usually to do with doctors), they want to correct my speech or if they're unhappy with me. My dad is especially heavy handed in his approach to me. My mother doesn't want me to help her in the kitchen because I'd just get in the way. And then she complains I'm not of much help. GRRR. Just about every conservation I have with my dad has to do with order and being clean.


I rarely talk to them because they're not interested in anything I say. When I do talk about subjects that interests me, My dad feels like he has to teach me something :)roll:) or my mother feels the need to correct on something she thinks I don't know about.

Someone asked me recently if I ever thought about inviting my parents to dinnerto show them how good I am at cooking My response? Although I didn't say so to her, I was like no way in hell. I can't think of anything more stressful than having parents over.
 
I have trouble communicating with people because the clarity of my hearing is not good. I do try to lip read. (pbffflllt) :dunno2:

Family is nice, but have their own lives. We get together once a week. Not much "talking". We eat, share company, and generally enjoy one another. I have a couple of young friends who sign, and one my age. The friend my age works a lot, and we work different schedules.

I do get a bit lonely with hubby being a remote control freak, a "channel surfer".
He tries to sign, it helps.
 
Wow, Missywinks! That's a wonderful poem.

I can communicate with my family on an one-on-one basis pretty well but when it comes to large group settings, forget it.

My husband's family...I CANT communicate with them even if my life depended on it. I gave up trying cuz they didnt try to meet my needs halfway.
 
I have a hard time understanding on my mom's side because I don't raised with them. On my dad's side, I have no problem because I knew them all my life. Oh well.
 
jillio said:
What a beautiful job at expressing a sad sentiment. Thank you for sharing that, missywinks.:ty:
Click to expand...

deafskeptic said:
Wow, that poem is good. I think that many here (myself included) can relate to it.
Click to expand...

Mountain Man said:
missywinks:

That poem is very moving. Thank you for sharing.
Click to expand...

shel90 said:
Wow, Missywinks! That's a wonderful poem.

I can communicate with my family on an one-on-one basis pretty well but when it comes to large group settings, forget it.

My husband's family...I CANT communicate with them even if my life depended on it. I gave up trying cuz they didnt try to meet my needs halfway.
Click to expand...

:ty:
shel- i can totally relate to you. thank god for our deaf community! :D
 
No, Not really. I'm only one deaf in my family, even in extended family. However, they know I'm deaf and they would try to make it easier for me to understand them by having them facing me, so I can read their lips and they would make sure I can hear them well enough. They treat me like a normal person, only that they would make sure I can understand them. They would repeat things if I have asked them to do so, If I was unable to understand them first.
 
Well, my brother has a huge moustache that hangs over his top lip, sometimes I reach over and lift the damn thing up so I can see his lips. 1 X 1 with family members is doable, groups at dinner or socializing is next to impossible. My son, neice and nephew know some sign, so that helps. The kids also 'get' that they have to speak directly into my ear in noisy situations.

Interestingly enough, my Mom and Dad have recently both experienced significant hearing loss dur to ageing. Dad has HA's and Mom gets hers next week, now, you will remember that I grew up severely hearing impaired but undiagnosed until I was 19 years old.....so it is just interesting to watch as the tables are turned. I know they are appreciative of me as I know how to speak to a person with hearing loss.
 
I know difficult to communication to my dad is talk to me. I know write on paper for communication to my grandma. I usually communication to speak to my mom sign langugae. my sister wish learn more sign language. That is good help communication to sign language pretty my mom skills sign language my little sister said I love you Sound great I surprised wonderful to hear proud of my little sister 9yrs wow wonderful
 
~*Kaelei*~ said:
No, Not really. I'm only one deaf in my family, even in extended family. However, they know I'm deaf and they would try to make it easier for me to understand them by having them facing me, so I can read their lips and they would make sure I can hear them well enough. They treat me like a normal person, only that they would make sure I can understand them. They would repeat things if I have asked them to do so, If I was unable to understand them first.
Click to expand...

U r very lucky..my mom and my aunt r the only ones who really make an effort to make sure my brother and I are included. The rest of the family..ppttth.

My ex husband's whole family was awesome with that. I miss them but we r on shaky terms.
 
shel90 said:
U r very lucky..my mom and my aunt r the only ones who really make an effort to make sure my brother and I are included. The rest of the family..ppttth.

My ex husband's whole family was awesome with that. I miss them but we r on shaky terms.
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear about the shaky terms, but I understand. My ex-in-laws were all horrible mumblers and very inconsiderate, don't miss that. My b/f's family are a wee bit better, and my b/f's Mom has expressed interest in taking a sign course, cool eh!
 
Moon-child said:
Sorry to hear about the shaky terms, but I understand. My ex-in-laws were all horrible mumblers and very inconsiderate, don't miss that. My b/f's family are a wee bit better, and my b/f's Mom has expressed interest in taking a sign course, cool eh!
Click to expand...

Don't get me wrong. They were wonderful. Just they want my daughter back in AZ and iam fighting my ex in court to keep her in MD so I am the "enemy" now. But I am the mother so screw them.
 
i communicate with my family but talking. They repeat as many times as I need them to. At family gatherings if everybody's talking at one time, my mum usually tells me what everybody's on about and bits of what they saying etc. it would be easier if they could sign but its not a perfect world. LOL
 
Back
Top