Deal Breakers on dates

Banjo,

Since when manners/common sense are known as conditions? I do not tell my dates what the manners are prior to the first date. It takes common sense to know that one does not chat away on pagers on first dates.

Perhaps some things apply as conditions ..like agreeing to go as friends only, paying half for the meal/entertainment expenses, making it short, or end the date with no foreplay.

But I fail to see how someone should tell someone else "You cannot use the pager while we are on a date" PRIOR to the first date.

I would have walked out too if my date was inconsiderate - chatting away on the pager when it is obvious he is not INTO me.
 
Meg said:
Banjo,

Since when manners/common sense are known as conditions? I do not tell my dates what the manners are prior to the first date. It takes common sense to know that one does not chat away on pagers on first dates/
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That's your viewpoint of common sense/manners, not the date's. Rude or not, you should still make conditions if you don't want these things to happen.

Perhaps some things apply as conditions ..like agreeing to go as friends only, paying half for the meal/entertainment expenses, making it short, or end the date with no foreplay.
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But I fail to see how someone should tell someone else "You cannot use the pager while we are on a date" PRIOR to the first date.
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Then don't get mad at the date, be mad at yourself if it happens. Simply make a request like, "Please don't use your pager on date" instead of a command like you just made.

Like I said, if you don't say anything about it before agreeing. That's your problem, not the date's.

I would have walked out too if my date was inconsiderate - chatting away on the pager when it is obvious he is not INTO me.
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Still, you should pay half of the bill because you already had agreed to it, period. You have to show some courtesy for your date, and it's a way of showing that you have class.

There's no dead-on standards of how a date should go. Everybody don't share the same opinions. So you have to be careful how you assume everybody should have the same viewpoint of manners and common sense as you do.
 
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You quoted:
No need to act like a trailer trash by cheapening out on the bill simply because you are pissed off. It's no excuse, period.

So it is NOT considered trailer trash for my date to be chatting away on his pager while on a first date with me?

It is not considered trailer trash ..it is considered being assertive and having healthy boundary lines drawn up if a guy is being rude and obnoxious to me on first date, by chatting away.

Im not going to start allowing a man to push me around and me holding back, thinking he will think Im trailer trash because I stand up for my own beliefs.

We dont have to agree, Banjo but Im simply at loss understanding your perception on "chatting away on the pager on the first date" . :confused:
 
Meg said:
We dont have to agree, Banjo but Im simply at loss understanding your perception on "chatting away on the pager on the first date" . :confused:
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No, the impression I get from you is that you would cut somebody's head off if the pager was to ring at all.

If you don't like it when somebody is chatting away, let him/her know how you feel about it. Walking out on the date isn't going to help that.

I consider walking out onto a date without paying half to be even more rude. You see, people actually have to "work" to earn money, while it doesn't cost you anything to see a person chatting away on a pager/cell phone. All you have to do is ask the date to not do that. It won't kill you.

If it's a first date, then at least you know you won't want to go on another date. So try to get through it without throwing a fit. But walking out on a first date without paying?

Err, not smart. I'll say.

Like I said, you gotta make conditions prior to the deal or live with the consequences.

I stand by what I said.
 
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My mom and brother and I were eating at this restaurant. I think it was Chinese or Japanese. Anyway, this guy was with this woman and later started talking on the phone. These people have to talk louder and it's so annoying. I don't know if the woman was his date or wife, but it's so damn annoying. There was also another guy in the library where it's supposed to be a quiet place talking loud. Man, shut the hell up!
 
Help me!!! There is point off about cell phone/pager..... Will there be closing or changing the topic ?? Help me!?! I can't stand with those storm here....
 
if a guy started using his pager/phone and it was getting irriating, I would first ask if he doesn't mind stopping as it is disrespectful and inconsiderate for my feelings and if he continued to use it, I would tell him that I was going to leave.
 
Fly Free said:
plus it boils down to COMMON SENSE -- ive noticed some ppl simply dont have common sense when theyre out on dates and pulls out the cell phone/pager and starts talking/texting away :roll: -- a short check to see if emergency or not is acceptable which generally would have taken like 30 sec to 1 min altho it IS nicer if the cell phone/pager was left at home or in the car -- their friends/family would know theyre out on a date wouldnt they q i would inform others that i will be out on a date and that i should be back home by (whatever specified time) and that has worked well for me in the past and leave the pager/cell phone either at home or in the car turned OFF
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I believe you cover everything about 'date-breakers'. I don't see anything to add to the list... However common sense is require to use in any activity, unfortunately not many who is willing to utilitze his/her common sense. About pager, that is hot issue. Well, I have two stories to tell..

1) I had that first experience (pager issue) with my deaf ex-girlfriend, she had been chatting with whoever thru her pager time to time during eat out or some places that we hanged out. At this point, I fed up and so I waited for the right moment. At one of restaurants, her pager has beeped and she was going to answer and I told her that she needs to stop because I am losing the motivate to chat with her or take her out to anywhere. I also told her that was very rude thing to do, that's where my ex-gf finally realized that was rude and apologized... She never do that again ever since.

2) I had this first date with hearing college gal, she brought the cell with her (at that time, I don't know and she tucked it in her purse). We ate at nice restaurant, naturally she answered the cell when it rang and yakked but briefly. At third time, she was going to answer and I finally asked her

Me: "Family emergency?

Her: "Oh no, it was my friend and blah blah"

Me: "Ah alright, I wonder if are you dating the cell or me?"

Her (she smiled and obviously took my hint): "Gotcha." She turned off the cell and didn't use it thru all night.

After that she apologized to me afterward (actually, she gave me several good kisses/french kisses and told me that was her way to make up ;)).


Guys & Gals, frankly... be honest with your dates. That's only way to do that. If your dates couldn't stand your honesty then forget her/him. Be firm and tell them how you feel. I am sure that 85% of them will understand...

Even though I disagree with Banjo on few points but I do agree with him about leave them the bill to boot is considering harsh. For men, that will be un-gentleman-like manner. Women shouldn't do that as well. I would walk out on my dates if they offend me in some or other way but leave them the bill to boot? Never. I would leave my money and walk out.

But again, that's my opinion. Don't let it judge you :)

Great topic :thumbsup:
 
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Meg said:
Since when manners/common sense are known as conditions? I do not tell my dates what the manners are prior to the first date. It takes common sense to know that one does not chat away on pagers on first dates.

But I fail to see how someone should tell someone else "You cannot use the pager while we are on a date" PRIOR to the first date.

I would have walked out too if my date was inconsiderate - chatting away on the pager when it is obvious he is not INTO me.
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Agree with Meg ! Thats how I feel, too .. I would NOT feel
comfortable to deal with these kind of dates. I tend to
walk away from them rather than confront them.

However, Magatsu does seem to know how to deal
with his dates like a Pro :)
 
Apparently it must be a generation thing about using pagers or not on first dates.

I think the younger kids dont mind the usage of pagers on first dates but for folks like me in mid-30s, I view it as rude. I remember these dates in the past where there were no cell phones/pagers, etc.

But I wont open my mouth further ...am not in the mood for Banjo to insult me with name callings like trailer trash or anal. We all dont have to agree but it doesnt justify calling other people degrading names.
 
Meg said:
But I wont open my mouth further ...am not in the mood for Banjo to insult me with name callings like trailer trash or anal. We all dont have to agree but it doesnt justify calling other people degrading names.
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You already opened your mouth a bit further. You just had to mention me. I stand by my anal remark, because anybody is an anal if they expect the others to know their rules without enlightening them.

No, it's not about common sense. It never is.

It's the rules of yours that may differ from the others. Yet you don't enlighten them and punish them for not knowing your rules. You don't even bother to confront them, and that's a major issue. You'll rather walk out than dealing with it.

Probably a social self-esteem issue, I'll say. Same goes for Y, because she said she don't feel comfortable with confrontations. If you can't confront someone, then you have a problem. Also, being able to confront people is a important element in climbing the ladder of success.

I have no intentions of insulting people, but I'll tell people what I think of them even if it hurt their feelings, but I do believe that it is deeply rude to walk out on a first date without any confrontations. It's a strong symbol of cowardice in my eyes.

Running from problems won't help, it'll keep coming back. Oh yes, it even applies to the dating world.
 
I do agree that it is rude for a person to chat on pager or cellular phones while on a date. But, I would say something to that person if he decide to ignored my request, I would get up and leave. that wouldn't be rude because, why would the date keep going on when I am being a ghost to that person while on date.;)
 
Banjo,

You know what? I'm not so surpise by your rude remarks toward Meg and it show you don't give a chit about hurting people's feelings for the way each one may view or express an opinion of their own....Turns out that obviously YOU are portraying these people as the ' bad ONES '...

Everyone is Entitled to how each one would handle such a situation, meaning there isn't always a specific right or wrong solution to it!!....

Obviously I happen to agree with Meg, Y , FlyFree and others as well...The only people who are dumb here are the ones who brings their pager/cellphones on their first date show they don't obviously have any common sense whatsoever....If I had to deal with that myself then I would leave them with a bill too since they are being RUDE and INCONSIDERATE....Get this? ...This being the FIRST date, you want to make every impression count!!!!!! ( go ahead Banjo call me a bunch of names if that makes you feel any better )...
 
Pagers and cellphones can be pretty annoying on dates when answered frequently or chatting on one all the time... I'd understand if there was an emergency that one wanted to bring one along, and it makes sense. Heh, Mag... good responses. Bet you hafta beat 'em off with a stick now eh?

**looks at the hot buttons** Hey, I agree with setting your conditions before a date... as soon as you realize the date has a pager or cellphone. I guess when on a date, it's a thrill, easy to forget setting your conditions and there are certain expectations. I also agree about setting your boundaries- walking out etc.. but hey, pay half the tab first.. dont give your bad date any reason to sully your good name and conscience :) There, does everyone agree? **pats pats, am i safe?** Although may I recommend all of you to examine your reactions to one another and see where you are really coming from, doesnt matter who is right or wrong. See where others are coming from, too. This is not the presidential debate, ya know ;) ;) LOL

another date-breaker is if the date is very rude to others around you.. for example, my date would be like: "Come here! I said come here! You idiot!" to anyone in particular.. could be you. "You idiot!"... ugh. First sign of hardcore or namecalling verbal abuse I'm outta there. It kinda tells a lot about what he or she can behave in a relationship. *shudders*
 
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