And like sand through an hour glass... these are the days of our lives... lol

[TXgolfer]

heh, I got an email from my distant cousin saying he lost his wallet in germany and needed money to get home. and i remember thinking that's weird, he's on facebook and his last status update was that he's in toronto.

turned out to be a scammer hacking his account.

I have gotten this one a few times. Except it was London instead of Germany

 

[TXgolfer]

I had an old friend that had his hotel ransacked in London. They took everything except his passport; could I please wire him money for a ticket home? I opened my email's full headers and saw IP address from Nigeria. :rl:

Yes, this is the one.

 

[saywhatkid]

Yes, this is the one.

The funny part; my friend has wonderful writing English, and this message had a few glitches. I was very skeptical anyway, since I am not that good of buddies with him; we were co-workers that enjoyed coffee together once in a while. I messaged him from a new email address (that I planned to throw away) telling him about this email. He replied back a week later from a new address, admitting he had been hacked.

 

[Bottesini]

It's really quite sad though. We should feel empathetic towards people who think so little of themselves that they have to create a fictional character.

You are right. And I don't make any judgements. It's just interesting to me to watch human behavior.

 

[TXgolfer]

The funny part; my friend has wonderful writing English, and this message had a few glitches. I was very skeptical anyway, since I am not that good of buddies with him; we were co-workers that enjoyed coffee together once in a while. I messaged him from a new email address (that I planned to throw away) telling him about this email. He replied back a week later from a new address, admitting he had been hacked.

Lol. The first time I got it, I had spoken with the girl the night before at a ballpark. that was fast. Lol.

 

[shel90]

My question is..b.y feeling sorry for those people who spent so much time creating these fake people, are we saying it is OK to lie and mislead others?

 

[saywhatkid]

My question is..b.y feeling sorry for those people who spent so much time creating these fake people, are we saying it is OK to lie and mislead others?

I find it is almost like crying during a movie; you might know it is not real, but you still feel something.

 

[Bottesini]

My question is..b.y feeling sorry for those people who spent so much time creating these fake people, are we saying it is OK to lie and mislead others?

I think not. You may not want anything to do with the person, but you can still feel sorry their life was so bad that they couldn't get any attention in it, and felt they had to create a fake persona to bond with strangers.

 

[DeafCaroline]

My question is..b.y feeling sorry for those people who spent so much time creating these fake people, are we saying it is OK to lie and mislead others?

I don't know about "we" but speaking for myself, I am saying it's not okay at all. i lost a lot of sleep worrying about an AD member last summer, I did spend nights staring at the ceiling trying ot figure out how to help her get out of hell and there were times her stories were so awful i couldn't eat, my stomach was too twisted. To find out it was all a lie was a horrible shocking feeling. that was why ever since, I've been wary about AD members being too open with me if we didn't know each other very well already. Whenever one sends a PM to me that's very personal and full of problems in their lives, I just don't have it in me to get engaged with them personally because of what happened last summer. Now I just don't answer the PMs or I would reply very curtly and wish them luck.

the fact the AD fakers have issues does not excuse what they did in any way whatsoever. It is NOT ok to mess with people's heads and hearts like that. I can't even feel sorry for them. Just don't have it in me to forgive such things.

somone, CSign, brought up the word "empathetic" - empathetic? Uh, to have empathy would mean you can empathize because you've been in their shoes, having this need to make up fictional characters and making people believe your lies. Never had that need therefore, don't have any empathy for this at all. Whatsoever.

 

[nickysunflower]

It makes me sad to know that people feel they need to pretend to be someone they are not for acceptance. It is a slap in the face of all of because of all the lies, but also they are assuming they know how we will receive them. It makes things hard for the people following them. Like D.C I worried alot about somebody, and was really concerned. I am still concerned but for other reasons. It must be an awful way to live. I hope these people get help, and learn to appreciate themselves.

 

[shel90]

I don't know about "we" but speaking for myself, I am saying it's not okay at all. i lost a lot of sleep worrying about an AD member last summer, I did spend nights staring at the ceiling trying ot figure out how to help her get out of hell and there were times her stories were so awful i couldn't eat, my stomach was too twisted. To find out it was all a lie was a horrible shocking feeling. that was why ever since, I've been wary about AD members being too open with me if we didn't know each other very well already. Whenever one sends a PM to me that's very personal and full of problems in their lives, I just don't have it in me to get engaged with them personally because of what happened last summer. Now I just don't answer the PMs or I would reply very curtly and wish them luck.

the fact the AD fakers have issues does not excuse what they did in any way whatsoever. It is NOT ok to mess with people's heads and hearts like that. I can't even feel sorry for them. Just don't have it in me to forgive such things.

somone, CSign, brought up the word "empathetic" - empathetic? Uh, to have empathy would mean you can empathize because you've been in their shoes, having this need to make up fictional characters and making people believe your lies. Never had that need therefore, don't have any empathy for this at all. Whatsoever.

That's how I feel especially getting slapped in the face the way I was thinking my dear friend, Byrdie had died and grieving for his death only to find out it was staged.

That's why I have no no pity nor empathy for these two people knowing that they must be in need of help.

 

[CSign]

"
People often confuse the words empathy and sympathy. Empathy means ‘the ability to understand and share the feelings of another’ (as in both authors have the skill to make you feel empathy with their heroines), whereas sympathy means ‘feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune’ (as in they had great sympathy for the flood victims)."

Definition for empathy - Oxford Dictionaries Online (World English)

I wasn't saying I've been where these people are at. I'm saying that we should be cognizant of where they are coming from, and the motives behind doing something like that. That's why I chose that word.

Do I agree with the collateral damage? No- of course not. However I believe that it is important to try to understand where someone like Sunny was coming from. I think it makes things a bit more clear in all the confusion.

 

[DeafCaroline]

"
People often confuse the words empathy and sympathy. Empathy means ‘the ability to understand and share the feelings of another’ (as in both authors have the skill to make you feel empathy with their heroines), whereas sympathy means ‘feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune’ (as in they had great sympathy for the flood victims)."

Definition for empathy - Oxford Dictionaries Online (World English)

I wasn't saying I've been where these people are at. I'm saying that we should be cognizant of where they are coming from, and the motives behind doing something like that. That's why I chose that word.

Do I agree with the collateral damage? No- of course not. However I believe that it is important to try to understand where someone like Sunny was coming from. I think it makes things a bit more clear in all the confusion.

So you have the ability to understand Sunny and share her feelings? how did you come about that ability?

 

[CSign]

That's how I feel especially getting slapped in the face the way I was thinking my dear friend, Byrdie had died and grieving for his death only to find out it was staged.

That's why I have no no pity nor empathy for these two people knowing that they must be in need of help.

Shel- you don't feel the least bit compassionate for a person who thinks so little of themselves that they have to create a whole new personality?

Byrdie situation aside...

 

[CSign]

So you have the ability to understand Sunny and share her feelings? how did you come about that ability?

No. I'm saying that I feel for her. That's what I'm saying. How did I become an empathetic person? I was born this way.

 

[saywhatkid]

"Hey Hey, My My....."

 

[DeafCaroline]

No. I'm saying that I feel for her. That's what I'm saying. How did I become an empathetic person? I was born this way.

you posted a dictionary definition of empathy meaning ability to share and understand feelings.



edit: mbrek said that what people like sunny do is akin to emotional rape. that jumped off the screen at me because that's exactly how i felt after learning the truth about another AD member but didn't have the words for it till mbrek said it. It's pretty hard to feel sympathy empathy compassion whatever against someone who violated you like that.

 

[shel90]

Shel- you don't feel the least bit compassionate for a person who thinks so little of themselves that they have to create a whole new personality?

Byrdie situation aside...

Growing up until into my late 20s, I thought so little of myself to the point of hating myself but I never created a web of lies in which other people ended up hurt. I just focused on hurting myself with self-destructive behaviors. I guess I have been burned too many times by patholigical liars with one of them being my ex hubby.

To me, pathological liars are out to manipulate and destroy others for their own self-gratification. They destroy their community.

 

[TXgolfer]

Growing up until into my late 20s, I thought so little of myself to the point of hating myself but I never created a web of lies in which other people ended up hurt. I just focused on hurting myself with self-destructive behaviors. I guess I have been burned too many times by patholigical liars with one of them being my ex hubby.

To me, pathological liars are out to manipulate and destroy others for their own self-gratification. They destroy their community.

Pathological lying is a mental illness..... Therefore a pathological liar is a person who is sick.

 

[shel90]

Pathological lying is a mental illness..... Therefore a pathological liar is a person who is sick.

It has been stated (not in this thread for people who are literal thinkers) that child molesters and killers are people who have mental illnesses . So?