It it really the deaf/Deaf community?

I have yet met a Deaf person who totally rejected children with implants. I am sure there are a few out there who do but what makes me sad and a little angry is when the parents hold a WHOLE community responsible for a few extremists and use those few to completely reject or keep their children away from the Deaf community.

About saying that their child is different or will be different, that's an old tune that has been sung a million times over and over for decades. My brother is an ASL tutor for a community college and he was telling me that one of the his students is a deaf guy who grew up with a CI. According to my brother, the deaf guy told him his parents wouldnt allow him to learn ASL or be around other deaf peopple growing up and this kid is only 18 years old. Right away, as soon as he leaves the nest, he starts taking ASL. He told my brother that even with a CI, he still missed out on a lot around hearing people both out and in the classrooms.

My question is...what is wrong with exposing the children to both? I have yet met a Deaf person who was exposed to both abandon the hearing world completely. It is usually those who have been denied ASL and the Deaf community who shut their parents and the hearing world out of their lives. Even that is rare to see anyway cuz many of my Deaf friends and my brother value our parents.
 
shel90 said:
I have yet met a Deaf person who totally rejected children with implants. I am sure there are a few out there who do but what makes me sad and a little angry is when the parents hold a WHOLE community responsible for a few extremists and use those few to completely reject or keep their children away from the Deaf community.

About saying that their child is different or will be different, that's an old tune that has been sung a million times over and over for decades. My brother is an ASL tutor for a community college and he was telling me that one of the his students is a deaf guy who grew up with a CI. According to my brother, the deaf guy told him his parents wouldnt allow him to learn ASL or be around other deaf peopple growing up and this kid is only 18 years old. Right away, as soon as he leaves the nest, he starts taking ASL. He told my brother that even with a CI, he still missed out on a lot around hearing people both out and in the classrooms.

My question is...what is wrong with exposing the children to both? I have yet met a Deaf person who was exposed to both abandon the hearing world completely. It is usually those who have been denied ASL and the Deaf community who shut their parents and the hearing world out of their lives. Even that is rare to see anyway cuz many of my Deaf friends and my brother value our parents.
Click to expand...

This is very true, Shel. A deaf child in a hearing family will naturally be exposed to the hearing culture. It can't be prevented. It is a part of daily life as a consequence of growing up in a hearing family. IF it is an ethnic family, they will not only be exposed to hearing culture, but to that family's ethnic culture, as well. It takes an effort on the part of that hearing family to step outside themselves to expose that child (and themselves) to Deaf Culture, as well. It gives the child a strong advantage in developing a self identity, in developing self confidence in all situations, and the security of knowing that they have a place in this world where others share their characteristics. Children that find that as an adult, and were denied it as children are the ones that become resentful, and separate themselves from their family. I have seen it happen time and time again. It is not the Deaf Culture that causes the split, it is the hearing family that causes the split by denying the child something that they needed, and then refusing to accept the responsibility for what they have denied that child. It makes the child feel that the love coming coming from their family is conditional based on their compliance to "hearing standards".

The family needs to become involved with, and explore Deaf Culture together in order to provide that deaf child with the security and self knowledge that every child deserves. It makes the familial bonds stronger, it does not weaken them.

It can be likened to a child who is adopted, and then, as an adult, seeks out their birth parents. If the adoptive family sees that as a threat, and doesn't support that child through this exploration, it causes problems in the adoptive family. A child has a need to know these things about themselves. An adopted child usually knows, whether they are told by their adoptive parents or not, that there is something about them that is a bit different from the rest of the family. They grow up feeling it. They feel it even when it isn't expressed, and even when they have grown up in a loving and supportive adoptive home. Wanting to know who out there shares their characteristics is a natural and normal desire. Once it is discovered, it gives them renewed love for the parents that raised them, and the sacrifices those parents made on their behalf. It is the same with a deaf child growing up in a hearing family.

If a Causcasion family adopts an African American child, it is expected that they will do what is necessary to expose that child to African American culture, and it should be expected. I grew up in a multi-ethnic family. It was decided that I would be raised according to my father's cultural background, which was Irish Catholic. However, I was also exposed to my mother's cultural backgropund which was African American and Jewish. It is a part of who I am, and my parents saw the need to make sure that I knew about every culture that I had a connection to. We celebrated Jewish tradition, African American tradition, and Irish-Catholic tradition in my family. We were taught the history of all three cultures. Perhaps, having been given that gift as a child, it made it easier for me to reach outside what I was used to in order to make connections with Deaf Culture for my son. Perhaps that is why I did not see bringing Deaf Culture into out lives as a threat to take my child away, but as a way to enrich all of our lives and make is closer.

Have I, in my lifetime, met some people in the Jewish Culture who turn their noses up because I am multi-racial? Of course I have. But that is not refelctive of the culture as a whole. Have I met some African Americans who have rejected me because I look more white and am not "Black enough"? Yes, to that question, too. But again, it is not reflective of the whole culture. Are their Causcasions out there that turn away from me because of my Jewish and African American heritage? Yes, but they are not refelctive of the whole culture. Are there a handful of deaf people who would do the same to someone with a CI? Sadly, yes. But they are not reflective of the whole culture.

We keep hearing from these parents that deaf kids are individuals, and we can't use the group to say this or that is true about their individual child. Well, Deaf Culture is made up of individuals, as well, and they cannot use their experience with one or two of those individuals to say it is true for the whole group. There will be prejudice everywhere we go. That doesn't mean that every member of that group is prejudiced. Just because a group contains a few individuals that are objectionable in their opinions and behaviors is no excuse to deny a child exposure to the ones that aren't. And, to deny a child exposure based on that limited experience teaches them to think in the same narrow minded and stereotypical way that the parents do. The child will grow up thinking it is acceptable to reject another person because they have met one person from that culture that was mean and opinionated. Prejudice is not born in a child, it is made. We create it. And denying a deaf child exposure to Deaf Culture based on stereotypes and fear is one of the ways we create it. Not only that, but we show that child that we reject others for something that is in the child themself. Sot he child, in turn, believes they must reject that part of themself in order to be accepted. Why would you teach a child that they must reject their deafness in order to be acceptable? It is something that will be a part of them as long as they live. Teach them to embrace it, and to be comfortable with it. The way to do that is to provide them with exposure to others that can show them how.
 
web730 said:
Thanks Jillio for bringing this strange phenomena issue that still persists... indeed a very interesting twist.

I'm quite tired right now from a long football game day yet it was blast.

Will be back tmw and discuss more on this intriguing issue (thread).
Click to expand...

Glad to hear you enjoyed the game and had a good time! I look forward to what you have to say.
 
Very thought-provoking, Jillio; and thank you for making this thread a safe place for all of us who may wish to share our diverse views and experience on the subject without the need to be 'right' or to be competitive. I also see the points some of you were trying to make. Yep, when we pool together our experiences and perspectives, we sure help each other see the bigger picture. There's not a lot I know about the bigger picture, so I am really interested in this topic!

I come from a background of growing up deaf in a hearing family with mixed heritage. So, yeah, I'd say that my south pacific islander heritage was predominant in my upbringing since we used to live in the micronesian islands (not hawaii). My deafness seemed to be a minor thing and kinda took the back-burner early on, although my Christian islander relatives would pray fervently for a cure here and there. While my father was rightfully concerned with my education, I had a dysfunctional relationship with my family at an early age. I don't think it was because of my deafness, but it had more to do with how capable my parents were in relating to me and to each other and others.

Hold on there, a little disclaimer here before you read on further~feel free to use your discernment for it will be just all personal 2 cents from me.

So, I feel whatever personal issues parents have in general can affect the deaf child in every aspect.. no matter how good their intentions may be about raising a deaf child. There's just a missing element (nurturing and showing love, etc) or something that goes bump in the night (divisive attitudes, abuse, control, etc). To be honest with ya, I've never met a deaf adult who was truly 'close' to her or his hearing parents yet; when I say this, I mean having a fulfilling relationship of trust and emotional closeness. I honestly wanna know if any of you have this with your parents. I would be glad if you did, though! If not, doesn't this say something?

I don't think experiences and lessons should be easily discounted just because there is a large number who chooses to be part of a deaf community that has similar experiences. I guess every parent keep thinking their deaf kid is gonna be different. There's an element of the universal human condition at work here in the deaf community, so I think it's perfectly valid to learn from past and ongoing lessons different people have gone through and apply that knowledge toward raising a deaf kid so that kid would have it better than what most of we had. Ah, my humanism showing here now! It's all about progress and learning from mistakes and success without bias in order to suceed. Notice that I didn't say anything about CI, ASL, learning speech, education, etc etc, since they aren't really the focus of the point I am trying to make.

I feel that parents do have an incredibly big role and important responsiblity in their children's lives. Nobody can deny that.

The deaf community is full of individuals to me, like others have been saying. It's really impossible to say everyone agrees with each other, and that all of us are Christians or adhere to one, simple belief.

I will stop there now and take a breather from my musings! :)
 
To be honest. I have had some awesome experience with the hardcore "D"eafs and some not so kind. But I have learned to weed out the bad ones.
By saying that I mean I have been accused of having an audist attitude, Or having the index finger to the forehead as being hearing.

The majority has accepted me for whom I am.

Their are a few that are hardcore that acts like the deaf culture will become extinct.

It may be fear of changes of people deafs accepting CIs. Or that more deafs are looking for other methods of communications.
To give you some of my background. I'm HOH and I speak fairly well. I can use a phone with my volume cranked up. I attended to a deaf school and mainstreamed to a public school. I sign in ASL and PSE.

It depends on who you meet.

Now the other side. I have in the past "not sure if it was in this forum"

That some hearing parents of a CI child will do anything to keep that child from learning any form of sign language.

By saying this is from personal experience.

I had a 3 year old in my preschool class. Had a CI.

That child was a challenge. A lot of behavioral issues. I started teaching the child sign language. The child started responding to me more. The parents flipped out. And came to me and told me to not sign to their child anymore. I was flabbergasted. I had a hard time respecting the parents wishes because I truely felt this child was lost. A week later they withdrew their child. I could have been wrong not respecting the parents wishes to not teach their deaf child ASL. But they told me their child is hearing and that their child doesn't need to know signs and needs to learn to talk

So in diversity their are both sides that needs to work together
 
Liza said:
Very thought-provoking, Jillio; and thank you for making this thread a safe place for all of us who may wish to share our diverse views and experience on the subject without the need to be 'right' or to be competitive. I also see the points some of you were trying to make. Yep, when we pool together our experiences and perspectives, we sure help each other see the bigger picture. There's not a lot I know about the bigger picture, so I am really interested in this topic!

I come from a background of growing up deaf in a hearing family with mixed heritage. So, yeah, I'd say that my south pacific islander heritage was predominant in my upbringing since we used to live in the micronesian islands (not hawaii). My deafness seemed to be a minor thing and kinda took the back-burner early on, although my Christian islander relatives would pray fervently for a cure here and there. While my father was rightfully concerned with my education, I had a dysfunctional relationship with my family at an early age. I don't think it was because of my deafness, but it had more to do with how capable my parents were in relating to me and to each other and others.

Hold on there, a little disclaimer here before you read on further~feel free to use your discernment for it will be just all personal 2 cents from me.

So, I feel whatever personal issues parents have in general can affect the deaf child in every aspect.. no matter how good their intentions may be about raising a deaf child. There's just a missing element (nurturing and showing love, etc) or something that goes bump in the night (divisive attitudes, abuse, control, etc). To be honest with ya, I've never met a deaf adult who was truly 'close' to her or his hearing parents yet; when I say this, I mean having a fulfilling relationship of trust and emotional closeness. I honestly wanna know if any of you have this with your parents. I would be glad if you did, though! If not, doesn't this say something?

I don't think experiences and lessons should be easily discounted just because there is a large number who chooses to be part of a deaf community that has similar experiences. I guess every parent keep thinking their deaf kid is gonna be different. There's an element of the universal human condition at work here in the deaf community, so I think it's perfectly valid to learn from past and ongoing lessons different people have gone through and apply that knowledge toward raising a deaf kid so that kid would have it better than what most of we had. Ah, my humanism showing here now! It's all about progress and learning from mistakes and success without bias in order to suceed. Notice that I didn't say anything about CI, ASL, learning speech, education, etc etc, since they aren't really the focus of the point I am trying to make.

I feel that parents do have an incredibly big role and important responsiblity in their children's lives. Nobody can deny that.

The deaf community is full of individuals to me, like others have been saying. It's really impossible to say everyone agrees with each other, and that all of us are Christians or adhere to one, simple belief.

I will stop there now and take a breather from my musings! :)
Click to expand...

Thank you for showing us your perspective of a deaf person from a multi-cultural background. You posts was very insightful and thought filled.:ty:
 
Thanks Jillio!

I'd like to add another thought: Does the end really justify the means?
 
jillio said:
That is an excellent question, and one which we should constantly ask ourselves.
Click to expand...

I agree.

Diversity is also between the "d"eaf and "D"eaf culture as well as it is in the hearing.

The best thing to ask ourselves is how we can all accept our differences. Hearing or deaf. And come to an understanding. We would all love to save the world.

Everyone thinks they have all the answers but in reality. No one actually does.
 
jillio said:
This is very true, Shel. A deaf child in a hearing family will naturally be exposed to the hearing culture. It can't be prevented. It is a part of daily life as a consequence of growing up in a hearing family. IF it is an ethnic family, they will not only be exposed to hearing culture, but to that family's ethnic culture, as well. It takes an effort on the part of that hearing family to step outside themselves to expose that child (and themselves) to Deaf Culture, as well. It gives the child a strong advantage in developing a self identity, in developing self confidence in all situations, and the security of knowing that they have a place in this world where others share their characteristics. Children that find that as an adult, and were denied it as children are the ones that become resentful, and separate themselves from their family. I have seen it happen time and time again. It is not the Deaf Culture that causes the split, it is the hearing family that causes the split by denying the child something that they needed, and then refusing to accept the responsibility for what they have denied that child. It makes the child feel that the love coming coming from their family is conditional based on their compliance to "hearing standards".

The family needs to become involved with, and explore Deaf Culture together in order to provide that deaf child with the security and self knowledge that every child deserves. It makes the familial bonds stronger, it does not weaken them.

It can be likened to a child who is adopted, and then, as an adult, seeks out their birth parents. If the adoptive family sees that as a threat, and doesn't support that child through this exploration, it causes problems in the adoptive family. A child has a need to know these things about themselves. An adopted child usually knows, whether they are told by their adoptive parents or not, that there is something about them that is a bit different from the rest of the family. They grow up feeling it. They feel it even when it isn't expressed, and even when they have grown up in a loving and supportive adoptive home. Wanting to know who out there shares their characteristics is a natural and normal desire. Once it is discovered, it gives them renewed love for the parents that raised them, and the sacrifices those parents made on their behalf. It is the same with a deaf child growing up in a hearing family.

If a Causcasion family adopts an African American child, it is expected that they will do what is necessary to expose that child to African American culture, and it should be expected. I grew up in a multi-ethnic family. It was decided that I would be raised according to my father's cultural background, which was Irish Catholic. However, I was also exposed to my mother's cultural backgropund which was African American and Jewish. It is a part of who I am, and my parents saw the need to make sure that I knew about every culture that I had a connection to. We celebrated Jewish tradition, African American tradition, and Irish-Catholic tradition in my family. We were taught the history of all three cultures. Perhaps, having been given that gift as a child, it made it easier for me to reach outside what I was used to in order to make connections with Deaf Culture for my son. Perhaps that is why I did not see bringing Deaf Culture into out lives as a threat to take my child away, but as a way to enrich all of our lives and make is closer.

Have I, in my lifetime, met some people in the Jewish Culture who turn their noses up because I am multi-racial? Of course I have. But that is not refelctive of the culture as a whole. Have I met some African Americans who have rejected me because I look more white and am not "Black enough"? Yes, to that question, too. But again, it is not reflective of the whole culture. Are their Causcasions out there that turn away from me because of my Jewish and African American heritage? Yes, but they are not refelctive of the whole culture. Are there a handful of deaf people who would do the same to someone with a CI? Sadly, yes. But they are not reflective of the whole culture.

We keep hearing from these parents that deaf kids are individuals, and we can't use the group to say this or that is true about their individual child. Well, Deaf Culture is made up of individuals, as well, and they cannot use their experience with one or two of those individuals to say it is true for the whole group. There will be prejudice everywhere we go. That doesn't mean that every member of that group is prejudiced. Just because a group contains a few individuals that are objectionable in their opinions and behaviors is no excuse to deny a child exposure to the ones that aren't. And, to deny a child exposure based on that limited experience teaches them to think in the same narrow minded and stereotypical way that the parents do. The child will grow up thinking it is acceptable to reject another person because they have met one person from that culture that was mean and opinionated. Prejudice is not born in a child, it is made. We create it. And denying a deaf child exposure to Deaf Culture based on stereotypes and fear is one of the ways we create it. Not only that, but we show that child that we reject others for something that is in the child themself. Sot he child, in turn, believes they must reject that part of themself in order to be accepted. Why would you teach a child that they must reject their deafness in order to be acceptable? It is something that will be a part of them as long as they live. Teach them to embrace it, and to be comfortable with it. The way to do that is to provide them with exposure to others that can show them how.
Click to expand...

:gpost:
 
Babyblue said:
To be honest. I have had some awesome experience with the hardcore "D"eafs and some not so kind. But I have learned to weed out the bad ones.
By saying that I mean I have been accused of having an audist attitude, Or having the index finger to the forehead as being hearing.

The majority has accepted me for whom I am.

Their are a few that are hardcore that acts like the deaf culture will become extinct.

It may be fear of changes of people deafs accepting CIs. Or that more deafs are looking for other methods of communications.
To give you some of my background. I'm HOH and I speak fairly well. I can use a phone with my volume cranked up. I attended to a deaf school and mainstreamed to a public school. I sign in ASL and PSE.

It depends on who you meet.

Now the other side. I have in the past "not sure if it was in this forum"

That some hearing parents of a CI child will do anything to keep that child from learning any form of sign language.

By saying this is from personal experience.

I had a 3 year old in my preschool class. Had a CI.

That child was a challenge. A lot of behavioral issues. I started teaching the child sign language. The child started responding to me more. The parents flipped out. And came to me and told me to not sign to their child anymore. I was flabbergasted. I had a hard time respecting the parents wishes because I truely felt this child was lost. A week later they withdrew their child. I could have been wrong not respecting the parents wishes to not teach their deaf child ASL. But they told me their child is hearing and that their child doesn't need to know signs and needs to learn to talk

So in diversity their are both sides that needs to work together
Click to expand...

I agree with the bolded statement. The hearing must do better to meet the needs of the deaf, but there is still a division between the deaf and the hearing that needs to be bridged. Nothing is ever going to be accomplished if we don't start listening to one another. How can I, as a hearing person, better meet your needs if you just a draw conclusion about me and walk away without first talking to me and giving me a shot? If you do and I screw up, fine. Walk away from me, but don't walk away from me from the word "Go". You know what I mean?

I think the hearing population has wronged the deaf in so many ways and it's tragic, but don't judge each other so much. Not every hearing person is purposely ignorant.
 
Babyblue said:
To be honest. I have had some awesome experience with the hardcore "D"eafs and some not so kind. But I have learned to weed out the bad ones.
By saying that I mean I have been accused of having an audist attitude, Or having the index finger to the forehead as being hearing.

The majority has accepted me for whom I am.

Their are a few that are hardcore that acts like the deaf culture will become extinct.

It may be fear of changes of people deafs accepting CIs. Or that more deafs are looking for other methods of communications.
To give you some of my background. I'm HOH and I speak fairly well. I can use a phone with my volume cranked up. I attended to a deaf school and mainstreamed to a public school. I sign in ASL and PSE.

It depends on who you meet.

Now the other side. I have in the past "not sure if it was in this forum"

That some hearing parents of a CI child will do anything to keep that child from learning any form of sign language.

By saying this is from personal experience.

I had a 3 year old in my preschool class. Had a CI.

That child was a challenge. A lot of behavioral issues. I started teaching the child sign language. The child started responding to me more. The parents flipped out. And came to me and told me to not sign to their child anymore. I was flabbergasted. I had a hard time respecting the parents wishes because I truely felt this child was lost. A week later they withdrew their child. I could have been wrong not respecting the parents wishes to not teach their deaf child ASL. But they told me their child is hearing and that their child doesn't need to know signs and needs to learn to talk

So in diversity their are both sides that needs to work together
Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing both your personal experience, and your experience with your student. I think any of us that work with deaf kids have seen the frustration and the behavior that results from being denied effective communication.
 
Interesting post, Jillio! You are right that there are things that haven’t changed. The quest to turn deaf kids into hearing kids haven’t changed. It is like a holy grail to them.

I think it is fear on their part. Like for an example: At work, this guy have to talk to me about changing something in a certain computer program and it is his first time talking to me. My co-worker told me afterward that he was standing in the doorway for awhile before he finally walked over to me. That made me feel like a mouse in a room with an elephant. All I have to do is squeak and he would jumped up and ran out screaming. The irony is that his speech is the easiest for me to understand. I would love to know exactly what they are afraid of? That they might have to learn sign language? That they feel stupid (or look stupid) waving their hands about? If it is fear, then the fear probably made them deny our deafness, our deaf culture, etc.

I often wondered if they are projecting themselves on us. Do they feel inadequate because they don‘t know what to do with a deaf child? Is that why they see us as inadequate and tried to change us into what we aren’t?

It is easy to see why many deaf people don’t like CI. It is tantamount to a deaf parent asking for an operation on a hearing child to make the child deaf. Barbaric. I don’t ever recall hearing of a deaf person suggesting that one can turn a hearing child into a deaf child via surgery until long after the advent of CI. It seems to me that the deaf community is reacting to whatever the hearing people are doing to the deaf children. I don’t hold CI against a deaf child as the child usually has no say in this matter. It is the parents that I have a problem with. I feel that we deaf people have to please the hearing people and get almost nothing in return. That makes me mad. I believe that respect is a two-way street and what is going on is more like a one-way street.

If a deaf adult want to have CI, that is fine with me as long as he/she don’t complain about CI. If I hear them complaining, I would tell them that they made their own beds so they should lie in them.
 
Do you think it is possible that a lot of hearing parents thought about putting their child in a deaf school but when they actually visited the deaf school, they saw that the students were really behind and even though the school is supposed to be TC/BiBi, no one spoke at all? A teacher said in another post that she gets a lot of students who were very delayed due to parents trying to force oral communication on them?

What Im asking is, if the deaf schools/deaf education were better and much more integrated with mainstream, would hearing parents still "reject" the Deaf community? Honestly, it seems excessive and not easy to "find the deaf community" for their child OUTSIDE of school. Adults yes, but children?
 
jillio said:
Thanks for sharing both your personal experience, and your experience with your student. I think any of us that work with deaf kids have seen the frustration and the behavior that results from being denied effective communication.
Click to expand...

Yes

To be honest I have seen some deaf people that not type English on alldeaf being denied. Because their English is not good enough against other deafs that post here. One doesn't. Want to take the time??

I am being honest. Now I have seen a lot of ASL as a first languagen type in ASL post here. But they don't get the Same response as an English typing person. A lot of posters avoid the ASL posters.


Am I the only one that sees this??
 
I think both sides want their feelings validated about their issues being deaf/Deaf. Simply mentioning facts about living as a deaf/Deaf person or having a CI seem to miss the emotional and psychological part (that's being validated).

I had a 3 year old in my preschool class. Had a CI.

That child was a challenge. A lot of behavioral issues. I started teaching the child sign language. The child started responding to me more. The parents flipped out. And came to me and told me to not sign to their child anymore. I was flabbergasted. I had a hard time respecting the parents wishes because I truely felt this child was lost. A week later they withdrew their child. I could have been wrong not respecting the parents wishes to not teach their deaf child ASL. But they told me their child is hearing and that their child doesn't need to know signs and needs to learn to talk
Click to expand...

Remember this is a post about honesty, but I couldn't help wonder...would the parents have accepted it if you knew Cued Speech? Of course, with permission beforehand.

I can understand that children need a helping hand to reinforce what they hear sometimes, and Cued Speech can be one of them. I know what it is like to miss or not understand certain mouth movements making it learning language or pronunciation difficult/frustrating. As children, it's hard to express why we are frustrated to get our needs met.

I also wonder if there are workshops for parents to attend before and after they implant their children about the work required to make their children a successful CI wearer. It's not like you can just put them in an oral program, and that is it. It's work at home and support from everyone involved with their child.

I think to the Deaf Community, this seems like the child has no life. That is not true. They do have a life. When the child is older and mainstreamed, all this effort is usually very worth it. I think that the Deaf Community make up things about what it's like to have a CI for a deaf child making it so horrific.

I know what it is like to have certain people not do their job. For example, Speech Therapy in schools wasn't good compared to private Speech Therapy. The teachers or interpreter did not do what they promised to do in their IEP making parents really frustrated.

I am probably off-topic.
 
Daredevel7 said:
Do you think it is possible that a lot of hearing parents thought about putting their child in a deaf school but when they actually visited the deaf school, they saw that the students were really behind and even though the school is supposed to be TC/BiBi, no one spoke at all? A teacher said in another post that she gets a lot of students who were very delayed due to parents trying to force oral communication on them?

What Im asking is, if the deaf schools/deaf education were better and much more integrated with mainstream, would hearing parents still "reject" the Deaf community? Honestly, it seems excessive and not easy to "find the deaf community" for their child OUTSIDE of school. Adults yes, but children?
Click to expand...

It is a concern.


My parents made sure I got both. I mainstreamed from a deaf school to a public school

I took algebra, English, history, in mainstreaming
Other classes I took at the deaf school.
 
Buffalo said:
Interesting post, Jillio! You are right that there are things that haven’t changed. The quest to turn deaf kids into hearing kids haven’t changed. It is like a holy grail to them.

I think it is fear on their part. Like for an example: At work, this guy have to talk to me about changing something in a certain computer program and it is his first time talking to me. My co-worker told me afterward that he was standing in the doorway for awhile before he finally walked over to me. That made me feel like a mouse in a room with an elephant. All I have to do is squeak and he would jumped up and ran out screaming. The irony is that his speech is the easiest for me to understand. I would love to know exactly what they are afraid of? That they might have to learn sign language? That they feel stupid (or look stupid) waving their hands about? If it is fear, then the fear probably made them deny our deafness, our deaf culture, etc.

I often wondered if they are projecting themselves on us. Do they feel inadequate because they don‘t know what to do with a deaf child? Is that why they see us as inadequate and tried to change us into what we aren’t?

It is easy to see why many deaf people don’t like CI. It is tantamount to a deaf parent asking for an operation on a hearing child to make the child deaf. Barbaric. I don’t ever recall hearing of a deaf person suggesting that one can turn a hearing child into a deaf child via surgery until long after the advent of CI. It seems to me that the deaf community is reacting to whatever the hearing people are doing to the deaf children. I don’t hold CI against a deaf child as the child usually has no say in this matter. It is the parents that I have a problem with. I feel that we deaf people have to please the hearing people and get almost nothing in return. That makes me mad. I believe that respect is a two-way street and what is going on is more like a one-way street.

If a deaf adult want to have CI, that is fine with me as long as he/she don’t complain about CI. If I hear them complaining, I would tell them that they made their own beds so they should lie in them.
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I do not desire to turn my child "hearing" but I do want her to have access to sound. Because she is progressivly becoming profoundly deaf, a CI is the only way. I have no idea why it is "barbaric" to want my child to be able to hear a fire alarm or a car coming up behind her.
 
faire_jour said:
I do not desire to turn my child "hearing" but I do want her to have access to sound. Because she is progressivly becoming profoundly deaf, a CI is the only way. I have no idea why it is "barbaric" to want my child to be able to hear a fire alarm or a car coming up behind her.
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I think it's because some of us still have concerns about the CI's.

For an example: what if you daughter gets into a fight with another girl and she rips out the CI? Then what?
 
Babyblue said:
It is a concern.


My parents made sure I got both. I mainstreamed from a deaf school to a public school

I took algebra, English, history, in mainstreaming
Other classes I took at the deaf school.
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U are lucky u got both.
 
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