Something to think about re oral only/mainstreaming

deafdyke said:
Oh, and faire joure, you're missing something. The research isn't saying poor kids can't do as well as wealthier kids. It's pointing out though that wealthier kids do have more advantages both with healthcare (not every doctor accepts Medicaid) and with access to oral education (wealthier kids can move to areas with better oral programs. It is very common for parents to move to an area that offers good oral programs) as well as supplementary stuff like AVT (which may or may not be covered by insurance)
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We're still waiting for your sources.
 
rick48 said:
We're still waiting for your sources.
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Why would that matter?

I don't even understand the claims deafdyke is making. It implies that oral kids do well because they actually can get access to "good oral programs". Which also implies that if you are poor, you have better luck with deaf schools.

Which kinda goes against the idea of "Deaf schools are the best thing to do for your kids for ANY situation."
 
Buffalo said:
One of my college ex-boyfriend. I found out few months ago that he was mainstreamed until high school. His marriage doesn't sound good and I feel it is mainly his fault.

Kokonut, Shelia and Daredevil poked fun at this serious subject and it shows that they do have major social deficts. I rest the case.
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I love the way you just wrap it all up and place it in one nice little sentence.:lol: Well done!
 
faire_jour said:
I don't like excuses. So get another job, move to a smaller house, pan handle on the streets for heaven's sake! I would turn tricks in a back alley if it meant that my child had the best opportunity to become the best person she could be. She will never be held back by anything, least of all, money.
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Oh, yeah...you turning tricks is going to insure that your child has the best of everything.:roll: There's a plan.

While this post sounds, on the surface, to be the ranting of a dedicated parent, look a bit deeper. You are living in a make believe world.
 
faire_jour said:
And I am saying that abusive parents should be seen as just that. There is a difference between bad parenting and oralism.
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Bad parenting isn't necessarily abusive parenting. For someone who whines and cries that they are being judged every time someone disagrees with them, you are terribly quick to pass judgement on others.
 
deafgal001 said:
right, and take them away to foster home and that will solve everything.

or maybe we need to stress how important sign language is so they don't get label as abusive.
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I'm certain that your parents did what they could, when they could, and how they could. Perhaps you would have been better off had they done a few things differently, but the fact is, you are fine now. And, I might add, they managed to raise you to be polite and considerate. That is something I haven't seen much of in the responses a certain poster is giving you.

It is no one's business to pronounce judgement on your parents' ability to parent. And I agree whole heartedly with your last sentence. Labeling serves no good purpose. Educating those parents does.
 
faire_jour said:
She made that choice, and I made mine. I chose to only have one child. I chose to work two part-time jobs and my husband works two as well. We have only one car, a 12 year old tv, a computer that was a gift when I enrolled in school. We don't have nice things, but we have happiness and we work our butts off to make sure Miss Kat gets her needs met. We are very lucky that we get SSDI, and that is how we pay for her therapy, and every year we spend our tax return on her educational opportunities. I can be done, it happens every day.

So, yeah, I think it is cruel to require a child to be oral only and not give them the tools to hear. I agree with oral schools that require a child to have appropriate amplification to attend. You can't require a child to use a language that they can't access, and by not giving the child hearing aids (or a CI in another instance), that is cruel.
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I didn't mean to pry. But if it were the case that SSDI then it has to be you or your hubby who are receving a benefit. While kid is a minor that can entitle to get $ under her parent's benefit.
As long as one of you who are on SSDI and certainly have to make under $1,000 per monthly for 2010.
If not, then more likely it will be overpaid.
 
Frisky Feline said:
I didn't mean to pry. But if it were the case that SSDI then it has to be you or your hubby who are receving a benefit. While kid is a minor that can entitle to get $ under her parent's benefit.
As long as one of you who are on SSDI and certainly have to make under $1,000 per monthly for 2010.
If not, then more likely it will be overpaid.
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Thanks for stepping in here, FF. I noticed that, too, but you are our resident SS expert. However, I have dealt with the SSA boards for many years with my clients. SSDI is never awarded to a minor, and the benefit received is based on the amount paid in during working years. SSI is awarded to children. The payor is the parent, but the money is still the child's money and is intended to pay for the added expenses of having a child that has special needs to be met.

I have another question, as well. Since we have someone here who says that poor parents are the same as abusive parents, I wonder if she would have been as quick to implant her daughter bi-laterally if it wasn't for the fact that Medicaid (e.g. those of us who work and pay into the system) paid for the surgery and follow up?
 
jillio said:
Thanks for stepping in here, FF. I noticed that, too, but you are our resident SS expert. However, I have dealt with the SSA boards for many years with my clients. SSDI is never awarded to a minor, and the benefit received is based on the amount paid in during working years. SSI is awarded to children. The payor is the parent, but the money is still the child's money and is intended to pay for the added expenses of having a child that has special needs to be met.

I have another question, as well. Since we have someone here who says that poor parents are the same as abusive parents, I wonder if she would have been as quick to implant her daughter bi-laterally if it wasn't for the fact that Medicaid (e.g. those of us who work and pay into the system) paid for the surgery and follow up?
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Correct, however if SSDI then it has to be either parents' benefits that kid can be receving a benefit under the parent's benefit only if kid is a minor up to age 18. yes. However if their parents ' income resource was not sufficient then kid can get a benefit as a SSI. However, there are other incomes that SS would take closely look at their income resources.
If she is on SSI then they would more likely look up at her parents' income resource that can't be provide more than the amount of limited earning should be. That is where the income resource is concerned. That's all.
 
jillio said:
I'm certain that your parents did what they could, when they could, and how they could. Perhaps you would have been better off had they done a few things differently, but the fact is, you are fine now. And, I might add, they managed to raise you to be polite and considerate. That is something I haven't seen much of in the responses a certain poster is giving you.

It is no one's business to pronounce judgement on your parents' ability to parent. And I agree whole heartedly with your last sentence. Labeling serves no good purpose. Educating those parents does.
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They did made a bad decision but it didn't happen again. It was just that one time thing and I don't really know the whole story either. They also made a bad decision of listening to the professionals about not signing and they should realize that they and us are no finanically position to keep up every hearing aids for the rest of our life.

I do hope that people realize there there is no magic wand to give us money, everything they suggest to us take time and money (moving, ha, mom lived in a house too small for 5 kids at the right price she can afford, and cost money to sell, get a moving truck, put down a down payment for another place, etc. not to mention it take time for to find a buyer which does NOT give me hearing aids less than two months). And if we did sell things around the house, mom still have to save up, therefore it still take time. In fact, I think she did sold some stuffs because I don't know where she got the money. What she did was better off. But she should have learn sign language in case a situation like this.
 
deafgal001 said:
They did made a bad decision but it didn't happen again. It was just that one time thing and I don't really know the whole story either. They also made a bad decision of listening to the professionals about not signing and they should realize that they and us are no finanically position to keep up every hearing aids for the rest of our life.

I do hope that people realize there there is no magic wand to give us money, everything they suggest to us take time and money (moving, ha, mom lived in a house too small for 5 kids at the right price she can afford, and cost money to sell, get a moving truck, put down a down payment for another place, etc. not to mention it take time for to find a buyer which does NOT give me hearing aids less than two months). And if we did sell things around the house, mom still have to save up, therefore it still take time. In fact, I think she did sold some stuffs because I don't know where she got the money. What she did was better off. But she should have learn sign language in case a situation like this.
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Of course there is no magic wand, and sometimes even the best that can be done leaves gaps. There are many other things that need to be considered.

I believe you when you say your parents made a "bad decision". Any parent will admit (the honest ones, anyway :giggle:) to having made a bad decision at some point in time where their kids are concerned. Parents are humans, too....we all make mistakes. The important thing is that we realize when it is a mistake, and don't keep repeating it over and over.
 
Wirelessly posted

i'm sorry i misspoke. We receive benefits only because miss kat is deaf, neither of us are disabled.

and yes, we would have gotten her a bilateral implant in another way if medicaid had not paid for it. And are you really pulling out the "tax-payer" card. I pay taxes too. I would be more than willing to pay a lot more in taxes if it meant universal coverage. My political leanings are very socialist in nature, so there is no guilt about my daughter being on medicaid. In some states there are no income requirements so medicaid if the child is considered disabled, so perhaps you should be protesting that as well.
 
Wirelessly posted

oh, and as i said, none of her therapy is paid my medicaid, we pay out of pocket for it.
 
faire_jour said:
Wirelessly posted

oh, and as i said, none of her therapy is paid my medicaid, we pay out of pocket for it.
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So? You want an award? I paid for all of my son's therapy and HAs, as well. And he did not receive SSI. And I was a widow from the time he was 6 forward. You want to be a parent, step up to the plate.

And you need to get rid of that mouse in your pocket, "We" don't receive benefits. Your daughter receives benefits. They are not intended for you, but for her and her care.
 
I just learned that the married couple can earns up to around $2,147 per month if they were in NY then disabled kid is entitled to recieve a SSI. I do not know about other states. Now it is all clear up for me to understand better as to why kid is eligible for SSI.
 
faire_jour said:
Wirelessly posted

oh, and as i said, none of her therapy is paid my medicaid, we pay out of pocket for it.
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Huh, all of my daughter's speech therapy, and motor control (whatever it's called) therapy was paid for my Missouri Medicaid. She was also getting SSI. It had to be direct deposited into a bank account that had her name on it as well as mine and we had to provide receipts for ALL purchases it paid for. SS sent her every 6 months for re-testing to see if she still qualified. After 3 years, their words were "She has a 75% understandability of her speech, she is no longer qualified and the checks will stop on such and such a date." But still, Medicaid paid for all therapy she got. I just had to go to a place they recommended. If I wanted to choose the place, then I had to pay for it.
 
Up to age 3 the program that our daughter was in for S&L ( 3x a week- 3 one hour sessions and 2 one hour group play/sessions) was paid for by the state. Once she turned 3 it fell under our local school district. Everything was paid for up to that point. When she got her ci we hired a private S&L therapist at our expense. When she enrolled in school those services ( one hour a week) were paid for by the school district but around 2nd grade we no longer had it provided for during the school day so as not to interfere with academics so we took it private and again paid for it ourselves, once a week, then about 2 times every three weeks until her junior year of HS.

Both her initial implant and her reimplant were fully covered by our medical insurance.
Rick
 
I was successful at being oral, and I'm embarrassed by it. I shouldn't be. And I feel guilty when I know that it didn't work out for so many. Many of my deaf friends have no idea I can speak, as I hide it from them. Does that make me a hypocrite? Or does it make me respectful to them? I don't know.

I'm 31 years old, and I still don't know.

(Reaction from reading something Dare said)
 
deafbajagal said:
I was successful at being oral, and I'm embarrassed by it. I shouldn't be. And I feel guilty when I know that it didn't work out for so many. Many of my deaf friends have no idea I can speak, as I hide it from them. Does that make me a hypocrite? Or does it make me respectful to them? I don't know.

I'm 31 years old, and I still don't know.

(Reaction from reading something Dare said)
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I think you shouldn't feel any guilt and speak away as you want.

I can use speech like most bilinguals, and not ashamed of it. When with deafies, I go deafmute because that's my natural state, especially with them. If someone ask me to speak for them, it's like "you think me yer momma?" or "I speak shit"(they can't verify that because they are deaf like me lol). I've seen that among other deafies, too.
 
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