Bullies in school -- outlaw them or send them to jail.

[pek1]

My sister told me that my former bully was sitting alone at the table and no one talk to her during 10 yrs class union. I laughed so hard and wish I was there and laugh at her face. I dont care for her at all. But heard she got married and had kid. My sister also told me that she was wearing a tight dress. I'm like oh really what is she, a whore!!!

Good!!

What comes around, goes around. Serves her right! Apparently, everyone else knew what kind of person she was and treated her accordingly.

You know, every once in awhile, I receive a pm here that I was hard on someone. I'm normally not a person that would do that and am going to do my best not to single others out here for any reason.

THAT INCLUDES CORRECTING SPELLING, GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION ERRORS IN THE QUOTES BEFORE RESPONDING.

 

[VamPyroX]

I was bullied a few times in school- if it was ever even slightly physical, my parents had taught me not to go to a teacher, but to instantly dial the police. It takes exactly one incident for that person to stop bullying you- and if I ever meet a kid being bullied, I'd tell them to do the same thing.

I completely don't understand the expectation of going to a teacher if someone phsyically harms you in any way- if that SAME person had done it on the street, you'd probably call the police, but because it's at school they deserve a detention? No thanks.

That might work, but there are some institutions that don't allow it to happen.

Take my previous college for example...

At RIT, if someone on campus calls the police about something... the police will refer the call to Campus Safety to deal with it (depending on the situation) since Campus Safety can respond to the issue quickly.

 

[pek1]

many million bully in USA and countries need learn lesson DO and DONT harassment on classmates everyday if have bruise all the times they will tell teachers or prinicpal if stubborn! they will kick out till fall if more they will kick out they dont come again!

sara,

Even if the victim goes to a teacher, past experience, for me anyway, does no good. I think parents need to get involved and they go to school to meet with principal (s). Maybe, just maybe, something will get done.

 

[pek1]

If I were the victims mom - I would pull him out of the district altogether and filed charges with the police as soon as it got violent the first time. there is no reason why the parents have just let it get this far. When that first punch is thrown and makes contact it becomes assault and punishable by jail time.

I too was bullied physically and emotionally. I admit it has left a scar. It has made me wary of certain people. I was bullied from day 1 almost. I was always the class loser and my self worth isnt where it should be likely.

The kids that bullied me? One dropped out of school, one is now serving a 10 year prison sentence for meth, one has served jail time and for obvious reasons cant get a decent paying job. And the final one - he went into the Army but later got a dishonorable discharge.

Im glad none of my former bullies live around here. Now that Ive gotten out of high school Ive been able to blossom a bit and find myself. Now my other goal? Finish college and prove em all wrong!

Dixie,

I even got bullied in Christian colleges while studying for the ministry, which makes me wary of some "Christian" people and churches!

Now, what you said has me upset and I will end comments tonight. I will use CAPS and you need to know that I am NOT yelling.

DIXIE,

TO ME AND I'M SURE TO A WHOLE LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE HERE AT AD,

YOU

ARE

**NOT**

A LOSER!

I DON'T CARE IF YOU CONSIDERED YOURSELF AS ONE IN HS, AS I WAS THE SAME WAY . . . UNTIL I PROVED TO MYSELF THAT I COULD GET GOOD GRADES. IT WILL TAKE TIME. YOU'RE NOT A LOSER NOW. YOU HAVE NEVER, EVER, NEVER, EVER BEEN A LOSER.

SO WHAT YOU ARE RAISING YOUR DAUGHTER YOURSELF. IF MY MEMORY SERVES ME CORRECTLY, THE FATHER DIDN'T STEP UP TO THE PLATE, WHICH IS CALLED RESPONSIBILITY. CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG. HE DITCHED YOU AND HIS DAUGHTER. . . HE'S THE LOSER.

I DON'T SEE A LOSER IN YOU, NOR AM I TELLING THIS TO ONE.

SO YOUR BULLIES ARE IN RESIDENCE AT THE BIG HOUSE, HUH? LOL! BET THEY DON'T THINK THEY'RE BULLIES ANYMORE, HUH? A DISHONORABLE DISCHARGE? THAT'S EVEN LOWER THAN BEING CALLED A LOSER. :roll:

TO ALL MY FRIENDS HERE ON AD, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT DIXIE IS NOT A LOSER . . . SHE'S A WINNER! SHE CAN DO ANYTHING SHE WANTS TO AND SHE IS THE WORLD'S BEST MOM TO HER LITTLE GIRL.

TOO BAD YOU'RE SO FAR AWAY FROM WHERE I LIVE, I'D CONSIDER DATING YOU!!!

MOST IMPORTANT, DIXIE, YOU DON'T NEED TO PROVE ANYTHING TO THOSE LOSERS WHO TREATED YOU LIKE SH*T. THEY'RE NOT WORTH THE TIME OR THE EFFORT TO SHOW OR PROVE ANYTHING TO.

to you and your dd!

 

[Hwy99]

Assault is a crime. Put them in jail!!!!

Hell yeah!

 

[Chase]

We can use self-defense, yes . . . but, would it be worth it? If it gives the bully a busted nose or other body part broken, providing the victim was ambushed (key), I believe it is justified.

Chase, what do you think?

That's what I mean by the feminization of schools. In the past, you could stand up to a bully and not be penalized by the school. Now it's all girl rules: "You must be ladylike and ignore the ruffian; never sink to his level."

Bah! Yeah, right. Those rules just encourage bullies and make them more obnoxious.

That's why I agree that your suggestion to call 9-1-1 at the first physical hit and press charges all the way. It's the best way to deal with the new system where the victims are expected to take it without a whimper.

On another point made earlier, to expect different treatment in a religious enviroment pays little attention to the fact that bullies are everywhere, even forced to attend parochial schools and church camp. I taught in a Catholic high school six years. Kids are kids of any denomination or secular organization, such as scouts and 4-H. There are always a few bullies enjoying the herd of hapless victims.

 

[Etoile]

That's what I mean by the feminization of schools. In the past, you could stand up to a bully and not be penalized by the school. Now it's all girl rules: "You must be ladylike and ignore the ruffian; never sink to his level."

Hmmm...I don't know that it's about being ladylike, I think it's about being mature and polite.

 

[Chase]

Hmmm...I don't know that it's about being ladylike, I think it's about being mature and polite.

I'm not taking about normal, expected behavior, Etoile. About that you are correct. To refrain from hazing and hitting is being mature and polite.

This thread and my comments were about bullies, specifically those who do physcal damage to people and property and the idiocy of making any kind of self-defense an infraction on the same level as the demented aggressor.

That rule is taken directly from many girls' school manuals.

However, given the rule, I believe Pete's solution is the best, most mature, certainly the most polite way to handle physical bullies.

 

[Dixie]

Dixie,

I even got bullied in Christian colleges while studying for the ministry, which makes me wary of some "Christian" people and churches!

Now, what you said has me upset and I will end comments tonight. I will use CAPS and you need to know that I am NOT yelling.

DIXIE,

TO ME AND I'M SURE TO A WHOLE LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE HERE AT AD,

YOU

ARE

**NOT**

A LOSER!

I DON'T CARE IF YOU CONSIDERED YOURSELF AS ONE IN HS, AS I WAS THE SAME WAY . . . UNTIL I PROVED TO MYSELF THAT I COULD GET GOOD GRADES. IT WILL TAKE TIME. YOU'RE NOT A LOSER NOW. YOU HAVE NEVER, EVER, NEVER, EVER BEEN A LOSER.

SO WHAT YOU ARE RAISING YOUR DAUGHTER YOURSELF. IF MY MEMORY SERVES ME CORRECTLY, THE FATHER DIDN'T STEP UP TO THE PLATE, WHICH IS CALLED RESPONSIBILITY. CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG. HE DITCHED YOU AND HIS DAUGHTER. . . HE'S THE LOSER.

I DON'T SEE A LOSER IN YOU, NOR AM I TELLING THIS TO ONE.

SO YOUR BULLIES ARE IN RESIDENCE AT THE BIG HOUSE, HUH? LOL! BET THEY DON'T THINK THEY'RE BULLIES ANYMORE, HUH? A DISHONORABLE DISCHARGE? THAT'S EVEN LOWER THAN BEING CALLED A LOSER. :roll:

TO ALL MY FRIENDS HERE ON AD, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT DIXIE IS NOT A LOSER . . . SHE'S A WINNER! SHE CAN DO ANYTHING SHE WANTS TO AND SHE IS THE WORLD'S BEST MOM TO HER LITTLE GIRL.

TOO BAD YOU'RE SO FAR AWAY FROM WHERE I LIVE, I'D CONSIDER DATING YOU!!!

MOST IMPORTANT, DIXIE, YOU DON'T NEED TO PROVE ANYTHING TO THOSE LOSERS WHO TREATED YOU LIKE SH*T. THEY'RE NOT WORTH THE TIME OR THE EFFORT TO SHOW OR PROVE ANYTHING TO.

to you and your dd!

That definitely lifted my mood. Maybe I dont need to prove anything to anyone except to myself. I just want something better than what I've got and no one else can do it besides me. One of these days I'll finish college to get a decent paying job that doesnt leave me wiped out in the evenings - which sadly, in turn, sometimes keeps me from spending time with my DD.

 

[pek1]

You're welcome, Dixie. I meant what I said. In the meantime, if you meet another Mr. Wonderful and he treats you like a queen and loves your dd as much as his own, don't let him get away.

 

[pek1]

I was bullied for six years from middle school to high school, at my deaf school.

Because....
- I was not "smart" enough.
- I was not "beautiful" enough.
- I was not "cool" enough.
- I was a "fucktard".
- I was a "bored" person.

They just ignored me all the way, sometimes.

* I got haircut because a few of them did put a thing on my hair.
* I was tripped and my ankle was twisted by a bully, but we did not get in trouble.
* I was teased all the time until my senior year, it got better a little...
* Many bad memories that I want not to say it.

I can relate to those victims of bullies. =/

Sucks.

Mann_K05,

Due to any bad memories, especially from high school, you have my permission to not attend any of your hs reunions. I don't attend any of mine and am proud of it. Since the people didn't talk to you or treat you with respect, why should you have to attend and be reminded of those memories?

I read through the rest of the posts before going to bed the other night and did not post because I was very upset. Not with any of you; there's no way I can be upset with any of you people here.

You don't appear like any of those to me, so they can't be true! Plus, like you, am also a writer. Not smart enough? Let's see if that jerk can write an article, do all the research for it and get it published. Sounds like you're doing well for yourself. Keep it up!

 

[pek1]

The beginnings of my passion for advocacy, I guess. Only I don't swing geography books anymore!

I can't imagine why not?

 

[pek1]

The guy who bullied on me in junior high... he punched my upper arm so much that I had developed a lot of knots in my muscles and nerves.

Wow!

 

[Awauphi]

i remmy being bullied on but i got one back.. one girl called me fat and ugly .. i said big deal? I am big and beautiful woman .. and insulted her back.. u are fat and ugly too.. she was fat herself too but she is a black lady. I guess she was jealous of me due to the fact I was popular with boys back then or perhaps cuz I was smarter? I dunno.. shes a slow learner. so who knows..

my son was bullied on recently.. I got a note from the principal saying that two boys called Tj names and etc. for being big and stinky? TJ is not a stinky? he take bath every night? LOL.. maybe the kids themselves are stinky? and blaming on TJ? jeez thats dumb thing to do! .. TJ was feeling hurt and upset. teacher nearby heard whats going on.. she went to two kids and said you both are going to principal's office. they said why? Remember No Bullying? they said we didnt bully tj. She said I heard what happened. so off to the principal's office they went ...

the two kids got suspended for 3 days and cant come to school for bullying on TJ. They also aplogized to TJ in front of all of the kids. so they were humiliated for that. I hope that will be a lesson? sigh. I wonder what the parents are doing to punish the kids? Telling them its wrong to bully on kids or not? I am curious..

TJ also is bullied by his cousin Dylan.. Dylan is always jealous of TJ cuz he have many toys..nice bike, etc. Dylan doesnt and he felt he should have the toys? I cant help that Dylan have a lousy mother (my sis who is a druggie head and always think of herself)

Dylan always chased my cats and call his dog to chase them and terroized them. many times i yelled at him and said STOP it. and tried to terroize his dog Taterbug. he said stop stop. i said THEN STOP it. see how i am feeling then? he gulped.. i told him one more time.. i will get rid of his dog NO arguement! he never do it again ever since. i have bad feeling about Dylan as he have emotional problems, bullying kids, and etc he will be in and out of prison? sighs..

bullying need to be stopped.. all it is doing to them is feeling liek they are in power. it wont do anyting good for anyone..it just leave scars and emotional problems. in end for those who had bullied someone will have regrets for doing it.

 

[pek1]

I was bullied constantly in jr high school. It got so bad that I had to change class to get away from this girl who was constantly harrassing me. Yes, I was bullied cuz of my deafness and I was too passive to stand up for myself. Because of that, I still have issues with confrontation or standing up for myself but I have gotten a lot better in that area.

I agree with Alsear..call the cops instead of going to the teachers even though I am a teacher myself.

shel,

As a friend, I'd highly recommend you start taking a martial arts to help you with this. Learning it is also a self-esteem builder and you will be surprised in just weeks, if not after the first session, how more confident you are. I think shel's time to end being a victim is coming to a close and she learn how to stand up. Seriously, I am not picking on you, because it's something that most of us will have to deal with. Even if it's taking a class with other women to learn self-defense techniques instead of the full-blown class, you will learn how you can take charge of your life.

In addition, I did not respond to what Dixie said per the fondling and groping part because I nearly hit the ceiling when I read it. There are probably others on here that would know what this is called, but I think this would be called sexual assault. Today, Dixie, people get arrested for.

Last night, I was babysitting my friends kids, as he has 100 percent physical and legal custody of them, which is rare in Minnesota. The boys, 1 and 3, were already in bed, and the girl, a kindergartner, stayed up with me and watched, "What's Love Got To Do With It?" which is the story of Tina Turner. Her dad came home later and watched it with us, but ordered her out when it got very violent. I wanted her to see this movie because I wanted to instill in her that no boy/man has the right to beat you or touch you like that -- ever. She and her dad are taking tae kwon do, so hopefully, she will never have to be confronted in a situation where she'd need to use it. If she does, I trust she will use it with gale force. The boys will be taking it, too, when they get a little older, which I think is a good idea. Both mothers of the kids don't agree with it because they think it's "too violent." Well, damn, shoot, why not just become a victim instead? :roll: When I get married and have kids, they'll be taking it. If they're ever confronted, they'll know that the bully WILL go to the emergency room that day. And rightly so! Kids that don't have any martial arts training are encouraged to call 9-1-1 instead and go the legal route, although I'd recommend it both ways. If the bully doesn't stop even after contact with the police, then I'd say fair game and take him/her out.

 

[pek1]

i remmy being bullied on but i got one back.. one girl called me fat and ugly .. i said big deal? I am big and beautiful woman .. and insulted her back.. u are fat and ugly too.. she was fat herself too but she is a black lady. I guess she was jealous of me due to the fact I was popular with boys back then or perhaps cuz I was smarter? I dunno.. shes a slow learner. so who knows..

my son was bullied on recently.. I got a note from the principal saying that two boys called Tj names and etc. for being big and stinky? TJ is not a stinky? he take bath every night? LOL.. maybe the kids themselves are stinky? and blaming on TJ? jeez thats dumb thing to do! .. TJ was feeling hurt and upset. teacher nearby heard whats going on.. she went to two kids and said you both are going to principal's office. they said why? Remember No Bullying? they said we didnt bully tj. She said I heard what happened. so off to the principal's office they went ...

the two kids got suspended for 3 days and cant come to school for bullying on TJ. They also aplogized to TJ in front of all of the kids. so they were humiliated for that. I hope that will be a lesson? sigh. I wonder what the parents are doing to punish the kids? Telling them its wrong to bully on kids or not? I am curious..

TJ also is bullied by his cousin Dylan.. Dylan is always jealous of TJ cuz he have many toys..nice bike, etc. Dylan doesnt and he felt he should have the toys? I cant help that Dylan have a lousy mother (my sis who is a druggie head and always think of herself)

Dylan always chased my cats and call his dog to chase them and terroized them. many times i yelled at him and said STOP it. and tried to terroize his dog Taterbug. he said stop stop. i said THEN STOP it. see how i am feeling then? he gulped.. i told him one more time.. i will get rid of his dog NO arguement! he never do it again ever since. i have bad feeling about Dylan as he have emotional problems, bullying kids, and etc he will be in and out of prison? sighs..

bullying need to be stopped.. all it is doing to them is feeling liek they are in power. it wont do anyting good for anyone..it just leave scars and emotional problems. in end for those who had bullied someone will have regrets for doing it.

With verbal insults, I don't recommend the use of martial arts for self defense. Neither do I recommend doing the behavior back to them, as it only encourages. Apparently, what you did nipped it in the bud. With that being said, I don't condone cruelty to animals, either. Laws are being made that any physical abuse/neglect will get a person in legal trouble.

Apologizing in front of all the kids is an excellent idea. Better than standing in front of a judge, years later, with hands in handcuffs, behind one's back.

As for your sister, if you have proof of this going on, I'd report it to CPS so they can get out there.

 

[Awauphi]

With verbal insults, I don't recommend the use of martial arts for self defense. Neither do I recommend doing the behavior back to them, as it only encourages. Apparently, what you did nipped it in the bud. With that being said, I don't condone cruelty to animals, either. Laws are being made that any physical abuse/neglect will get a person in legal trouble.

Apologizing in front of all the kids is an excellent idea. Better than standing in front of a judge, years later, with hands in handcuffs, behind one's back.

As for your sister, if you have proof of this going on, I'd report it to CPS so they can get out there.

I know what I did back then was wrong but i was young and didnt know?

as for the dog.. it was my mom's idea to scare dylan. I wouldnt hurt a dog but punish the dog yeah by putting her in cage and show who is the boss. not the dog. I have 2 dogs and 8 cats plus 11 wild cats who i love so dearly. i am an animal lover so i wouldnt do anything to hurt them.

My sister only have a joint custody so she only keep the kids 2 weeks then 2 weeks the kids father have them. I have no proof because i dont see the drugs in her hands? only the symptoms of not sleeping for 4 days and always up and cleaning and cleaning.. so who knows.. she was in jail for 6 months then sent to halfway house for one year. It doesnt work. so what will ?

I dont bother to talk to her or whatever due to her bioplar disorder. if you confront her you would get screamed at in face and pushed and pulling arms etc. So i left her alone and let her worry about her business, not mine. I felt bad for my mother cuz my sister always crawl all over her and screaming at her demanding for money, etc. it is not doing my mother good as she is sick with chronic lung disease. if my mother died.. i am outta of here as I can see her doing to me like she did to our mother. forget it... sigh..

 

[Dixie]

I think everyone here has been bullied at some point in time on here - some went through physically violent times, but the bruises on the outside eventually heal up, but the scars left on the inside stay there for an eternity.

This seems to be more than just a small problem within the deaf community, this is an epidemic! We need to do something about otherwise the problems will just continue to the next generation and so on.

It seems like though that more deaf children experience bullying than compared to their hearing peers. It would be nice though if we could get some numbers and compare the ratios of bully victims between the hearing and deaf communities.

Kids will be kids to a certain extent - but when teasing turns into hurtful insults thats when it needs to be stopped. When it becomes violent and sexual, the police need to get involved no matter what the 'school policy' says. A crime is a crime, kids know better. When bullying becomes violent the bully should have automatic suspension and the school will be required to file a police report on the incident, but it will be up to the victim themselves or their parents if they want to press criminal charges. (and they should) Alot of bullies are thug wannabes and they have such low self image that the only way to make themselves feel 'equal' is by tearing others down to their level.

Also another thing - those who know the bullying is going but say nothing are just as guilty as the bully for letting it happen and allowing it to continue when clearly the victim needs an out from the situation.

There is a difference between letting a school official know that Frankie the Bully has just beat Darren to a pulp behind the bleachers, and Tessa just told Melissa that she's a snitch for telling her mom she was out late. (One is assault on school property, the other is a private family matter off school property after school hours).

What do you think? We gotta stand up for ourselves as a whole, if not for ourselves then at least for our kids who may be getting bullied right now.

 

[Matilda]

TJ also is bullied by his cousin Dylan.. Dylan is always jealous of TJ cuz he have many toys..nice bike, etc. Dylan doesnt and he felt he should have the toys? I cant help that Dylan have a lousy mother (my sis who is a druggie head and always think of herself)

FC ... It's difficult to offer advice where one cannot see the situation in person. It sounds like Dylan is not getting any discipline when neccessary by his own mother or even his father. He needs love ... possibly jealous of TJ who is getting that maternal love from you. Dylan possibly wishes he had different parents ... who knows. No wonder he is messed up and probably too far down the wrong track, hence himself being a bully. Usually, bullies are immature and insecure.

Depending on how old he is ... maybe sit down with him and have a heart to heart talk, but that's probably difficult to do. Maybe you're thinking that this is not your responsibility ... that's your choice. I think Dylan needs professional help very badly.


[Sorry :topic:]

 

[Reba]

Mann_K05,

Due to any bad memories, especially from high school, you have my permission to not attend any of your hs reunions....

I second that. I've never been to any hs reunions, and I've never regretted it. Why waste the good money?