Child on Child sexual abuse

katz4life

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Hi, I haven't been around here in many months.

Something has been bothering me lately and need to know the answers about this very sensitive topic.

I can't exactly tell you what led me to bring the topic up like this.
I have some kind of difficulty finding the specific answers on google but I read on the Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child-on-child_sexual_abuse and it upsets me, I strongly disagreed with between the lines:"Even if known by adults, it is sometimes dismissed as harmless by those who do not understand the implications." It is right under Prevalence section but you may read the rest of the Wikipedia page on the subject.

I'm uncertain where and who to ask for the proper expert with the consciences to answer in a field such as this topic.
Because I have been having flashbacks of countless of childhood friends, elementary through high school friends both deaf and hearing, especially out in the real world as adults I met and made new friends with, they had shared the confessions of their sexual relationship experiences with other children, minors under 16 and adults when they were children and under 16. To the most of those friends who confided it to me but some others I don't personally know who sometimes did share it openly to others in public even in the vlogsphere and blogsphere, that they seemed not having a sign of bad trauma, depression, anxiety, suicidal, troubled personality and PTSD. That is as if they were saying it wasn't considered as a sexual abuse but they as a child was willing to do it for experiment, curious and pleasure with other child/ren and minors (preteen/teenagers) and even adults by without coercion. Most of us and everyone do aware very well that is so against the law.

Check the U.S. age consent law

Ages of consent in North America - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

So, bottom line the biggest problem is that when those friends told me their stories, how come they have never reported to the authorities, the teachers, to the counselors, or the parents? It is like, very obvious that the perpetrators are still free out there (unfortunately, I happen to know most of them personally that did it with my friends and they also happen to be my friends as well). It just angers me because it is not equally compared with registered sex offenders only for those victims that do not consider themselves as a sexual abuse victim if there were no coercion such as rape involved let alone the statutory rape.

The question is, when they (now all adults, of course) told me about their sexual experiences with other children, teens, and adults years ago, should I report to the police? I think that it is impossible but it made me to ask a good question because the victims of sexual abuse scandal at Catholic schools, Deaf schools and the church had to come out and reported to name the perpetrators years later then eventually sued them.
 

katz4life

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For myself, well, I know I have never told anyone about my experience to witness such an event at a deaf school as a child.

But I will not name the names. When I was 8 years old, there was a several of students around the same age as me on the yellow bus after school, at the time I didn't understand anything about sex, body touching and what's right and wrong. On the way to home, I was sitting in the first front row of the seats near the bus driver and the other couple of students were sitting all the way in the back. I saw the unusual behaviors in both of them. He was 10 and she was 9, he puts his hand inside the girl's pant, it looked like as if he rubbed in and out of her. I was staring at them and when the boy saw me I asked 'what are you doing?' and he told me to look away with a threatening look. I don't really recall if he did told me not to tell anyone. But if he didn't, I have never had a thought of telling anyone about the incident. I did not understand anything about sex, sexual abuse, hormones until 11 years old when I entered the middle school and had health and sex education class to learn. To be honest, I do not see anything normal about kids doing it with other kids at such of these ages. I don't care if you say 'oh that's normal it was kids' curiousity. That's full of BS.
 

caz12

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myself thinks if they eight or nine then be abnormal if they no explore their bodies...i have worked with this age group and most of them discover bits of body...if on the other hand a nine year old is getting violent got ask yourself why, is that leant behaviour..
 

katz4life

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Umm, ok? So says my friend who thinks it's nothing abnormal that she lost her virginity at age of 9 with a man in his 50s.
 

ambrosia

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Umm, ok? So says my friend who thinks it's nothing abnormal that she lost her virginity at age of 9 with a man in his 50s.

You can't compare a 9 years having sex, being sexually abused by a 50 year old to two 9 year olds playing doctor. Absolutely so not anywhere near being the sphere of comparableYes this is so common, and normal, there's a phrase for it. Yes kids are curious, especially about the differences between boys and girls, I agree with caz. It'd be abnormal not to do a little exploring when you're a little kid. Playing doctor on the bus takes a bit of brass and that's a little odd. But no not enough for raising red flags.
 

katz4life

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You can't compare a 9 years having sex, being sexually abused by a 50 year old to two 9 year olds playing doctor. Absolutely so not anywhere near being the sphere of comparableYes this is so common, and normal, there's a phrase for it. Yes kids are curious, especially about the differences between boys and girls, I agree with caz. It'd be abnormal not to do a little exploring when you're a little kid. Playing doctor on the bus takes a bit of brass and that's a little odd. But no not enough for raising red flags.

You are saying that there is nothing wrong for kids under 16 having sex, oral sex, even anal intercourse? Tell me why did my good friend's parents got very upset by finding out their 9 years old son was molesting by 12 years old boy (they had done it each other for 2 years as he was 7 and him 10) and went to deaf school looking for that 12 years old boy to scream and yelled at? They did call the 12 years old boy's parents to fight with.

If my other friend who said starting sexual activity at age 9 with much older men and if it was sexual abuse, she would have told her parents, the staffs, and authorities.Sorry, you don't make any sense. There is much more of my friends that were under 15 have done with older individuals. It is AGAINST the law!
 

ambrosia

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Where did I say it was okay for kids to have sex? Those little kids you saw in the bus weren't having sex.
 

katz4life

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Now you see, my good friend (the very same one who got molested and bjed with 10-12 years old boy at the deaf school) is registered sex offender for life just because he was 16 doing it with 9 years old boy. That's just fOOked up.
 

katz4life

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Where did I say it was okay for kids to have sex? Those little kids you saw in the bus weren't having sex.

Uh, are you seriously kidding me? Molesting other's private parts is part of sexual activity, for God's sake.
 

ambrosia

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Uh, are you seriously kidding me? Molesting other's private parts is part of sexual activity, for God's sake.

It's not sex, oral sex or anal sex is it now? And for kids who haven't gone through puberty it's not really sexual, so much as exploratory. They don't have the same sexual response as someone who has been through puberty. Playing doctor refers to you show me yours I'll show you mine exploratory aspect of discovering the differences in the bodies. It's very very very different from an adult doing it to a child.

You need to apply some critical thinking to the actions of the participants, the ages and stages of development the people involved. You can't treat all touching between anybody no matter their age or development as being the same. THAT makes no sense.

A 16 yo has been through puberty and they are touching someone that young that has not been, yes that's sexual molestation. Two 9 year olds no. Please stop putting your words in my mouth thank you.


The first thing you need to realize is the line between pre and post pubescents. The kids the article is referring to and it being dismissed as normal they're talking about 2 prepubescents children, not ones that have been through puberty, not ones that had sex or were touched by a teenagers, or an adult.
 

sonocativo

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If forced- Rape/Abused
If welcomed- curious/exploritory
then there are the laws....which changes the game.
 

Reba

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... On the way to home, I was sitting in the first front row of the seats near the bus driver and the other couple of students were sitting all the way in the back. I saw the unusual behaviors in both of them. He was 10 and she was 9, he puts his hand inside the girl's pant, it looked like as if he rubbed in and out of her. I was staring at them and when the boy saw me I asked 'what are you doing?' and he told me to look away with a threatening look. I don't really recall if he did told me not to tell anyone....
You are right; that was not little kids playing doctor.

They weren't pre-schoolers, and the boy was a year older than the girl.

It wasn't a mutual "showing" of body parts.

The boy knew that he was doing something wrong because he told you to look away and gave you a threatening look. That's a consciousness of guilt.
 

katz4life

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If forced- Rape/Abused
If welcomed- curious/exploritory
then there are the laws....which changes the game.

Yes, that's the whole point of this thread.

It is just unbelievable to read amboisa's last post. I know, still by having bad flashbacks of my friends telling me no-bullshoot stories of themselves as children having sex/forcedly sex with pubescent teenagers. At the birthday party, my childhood best friend was 10 before 11th birthday and she told me she was tied up with ropes to the bed and 14 years old boy from the same neighborhood raping her (they both and I went to same deaf school together) and she has never told her mother or anyone else but me and her other best friend. SIGH. what the feck is this world coming to? She is now 33 living in Florida and him the pervert aged 37 I did question him once back in 2002 at deaf social bar place that was it true himself did it with my childhood best friend and he said yes. Why hasn't he gotten any consequence? He's still free as a bird with a clean record. Again, that is FULL BS BS BS BS BS.
 

katz4life

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You are right; that was not little kids playing doctor.

They weren't pre-schoolers, and the boy was a year older than the girl.

It wasn't a mutual "showing" of body parts.

The boy knew that he was doing something wrong because he told you to look away and gave you a threatening look. That's a consciousness of guilt.

Thank you, Reba for understanding clearly as a crystal.
 

ambrosia

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Yes, that's the whole point of this thread.

It is just unbelievable to read amboisa's last post. I know, still by having bad flashbacks of my friends telling me no-bullshoot stories of themselves as children having sex/forcedly sex with pubescent teenagers. At the birthday party, my childhood best friend was 10 before 11th birthday and she told me she was tied up with ropes to the bed and 14 years boy from the same old in the same neighborhood raping her (they both and I went to same deaf school together) and she has never told her mother or anyone else but me and her other best friend. SIGH. what the feck is this world coming to? She is now 33 living in Florida and him the pervert aged 37 I did question him once back in 2002 at deaf social bar place that was it true himself did it with my childhood best friend and he said yes. Why hasn't he gotten any consequence? He's still free as a bird with a clean record. Again, that is FULL BS BS BS BS BS.


Because the "child on child" that Wikipedia is referring to is NOT what you're talking about. There is lot of experimenting by kids, mutually. But what you're talking about I can't see being dismissed by adults, but that's wiki for you.

They likely didn't get in trouble because they didn't tell anybody. Though I am wondering why so many if your friends were sexually abused by other kids.........
 

katz4life

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Because the "child on child" that Wikipedia is referring to is NOT what you're talking about.

That is actually the problem like I said in the OP post that I have the difficulty finding the information about what's right and wrong regarding child sex and what should I do if I happen to see kids having sexual activity and should I report to the authorities? That's the whole point I am trying to ask. I have never thought about it because I was afraid and did not know what to do when variety of friends of mine had shared the personal information about their earliest sexual life as children with other children, pubescent teens and adults. All I know very clear as crystal is if I witness an adult doing it with underage or a young child, of course I would have reported immediately. Fortunately, I have never seen anything so horror of sexual abuse in my eyes as of yet except 1988 incident in my yellow school bus like I described in other post.
 

whatdidyousay!

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It's not sex, oral sex or anal sex is it now? And for kids who haven't gone through puberty it's not really sexual, so much as exploratory. They don't have the same sexual response as someone who has been through puberty. Playing doctor refers to you show me yours I'll show you mine exploratory aspect of discovering the differences in the bodies. It's very very very different from an adult doing it to a child.

You need to apply some critical thinking to the actions of the participants, the ages and stages of development the people involved. You can't treat all touching between anybody no matter their age or development as being the same. THAT makes no sense.

A 16 yo has been through puberty and they are touching someone that young that has not been, yes that's sexual molestation. Two 9 year olds no. Please stop putting your words in my mouth thank you.













The first thing you need to realize is the line between pre and post pubescents. The kids the article is referring to and it being dismissed as normal they're talking about 2 prepubescents children, not ones that have been through puberty, not ones that had sex or were touched by a teenagers, or an adult.



So you would be OK with a 10 yo boy 'playing doctor' with your 9 yo daughter in back of a school bus??? If that happen to my child I would want to know what the HELL was the bus driver doing while my child was getting raped. Like Reba said the boy warned the OP to look away and threated her, that is not how an innocent child would act if they just 'playing doctor'.
 

whatdidyousay!

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You are right; that was not little kids playing doctor.

They weren't pre-schoolers, and the boy was a year older than the girl.

It wasn't a mutual "showing" of body parts.

The boy knew that he was doing something wrong because he told you to look away and gave you a threatening look. That's a consciousness of guilt.

I agree with you 110% !
 

rockin'robin

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To me, it's horrific...and something most people don't want to talk about.

I always taught my kids that their bodies were sacred and their privates were personal....and if anyone touched them there, to tell me right away.

And a 10 year old boy "fingering" a 9 yr. old girl in the back of a school bus?....Something isn't right there!...I would be livid if it were my daughter...and yes, I would do everything I could to prosecute....However, a 10 year old boy can't be prosecuted...but that kid needs therapy...big time!...So does the 9 yr. old girl. Most likely, these kids were molested...or saw someone having sex...even watching porno.
 
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