What Do U Do When...

AJ

AJ

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what do u do, when u love someone, but they only see u as a friend, a buddy. and u understand that, but u cant help but have these feelings. and the thought of someone else loving them makes u cry and sick. and u want them to be happy because they mean a lot to u....but it still hurts to watch them love another person, and there's nothing u can do but smile and tell them ur happy for them. even though inside ur cryin ur eyes out.
 
I know exaclty how you feel. This past fall, I was absolutely head over heels for this one girl. For a long time, she liked me more than as friends. I didn't believe it, and I waited too long. When I finally admitted, she told me my chance had past, and that she was actually dating my best friend. I told her that was alright with me, and I was happy for her. It ate me up every time I saw her and my best friend together. They broke up nearly a month later. Worst thing of all is, my best friend was the one encouraging me to go out with her.

I'd say just follow what your heart tells you to do. Thats all you can really do in that situation.
 
i know i got to move on. i know i do. its just....extremely hard. cuz i want to be her best friend i want to be that person she turns to when she needs something. i just got to learn to deal with it. and think of her only as a friend.
 
:( It is the most hardest thing to let go of someone that you truly love, but, doesn't have the same feelings for you too. Even though you want to be their closest friend, be there to give them advice, or to be there for that person when they need someone.

It is so heartbreaking when you have to step back and watch this person move on with someone else, and you know there is nothing you can do about it.

Accept it in your heart that we have to move on, this is our life to spend it as we see fit. A lot of praying can help too.

AJ, I hope this girl realizes what a special person you are and how much you're sacrificing your heart and love, so she can be with this other person. I hope and pray, that you will find Miss Right.

Good luck!!
 
You may have to tell her, how much do you feeling really like her awful lot... Go Ahead not too late..

Which the best time for you when you're ready....

Wishes you have great luck!
 
I know that feeling I have been there and done that. The only way I can go about is to move on and be happy as I can be. There is someone I really like but he married so I respect married ppl. As long as I know he is happy and that make me happy. That what's count!!!
 
i uddy how ur feeling... u go ahead and tell her how ur feeling too... good lucky!
 
she knows how i feel about her. but she just wants to be my friend.
 
that girl is going out tonight with the guy she's interested in. i could feel my heart break when she said it. im having a real hard time accepting the fact that she's with another man. i have a gf and i feel horrible because i like my gf very much. i still need to learn how to deal with it.
 
Soonersseth said:
I guess you suck it up and move on. Thats really all you can do.
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I second. AJ, that's all you can do.

After years of dating/relationships, I've learned one important lesson about women; if I want to date that woman, don't try to make friends with her or otherwise, she would prefer to have me as friend, not as boyfriend and such. Women, don't take it as offense, that was my personal perspective and experience. I didn't get Nas by befriending her, we got into this relationship because she asked me out since she gave up waiting for me to ask her out.

AJ, believe it or not, I totally understand the situation you're in. It totally sucks. I used to have a crush on this girl in HS and I made a huge mistake by befriending her. From that day on, she always considered me as her good friend and refused to go out with me because she don't want to lose our friendship *shrugs*

Either way, move on or hope that someday she'll change her mind about you. Dude, good luck.
 
It sucks. I'm sorry AJ.

If it's meant to be, it will be. I think so, anyway. Sometimes people need to experience more of life to come to the understanding of what they really need and want.

When I was 19/20 something like that, I dated this guy for a couple of years. We eventually broke up. No hard feelings...just wanted different things.

When I look back, I think how little I really understood what he was going through...what his life was like.

Time changes your perspective.

NOW, I totally understand. I'm exactly where he was then, but couldn't have understood it then. At the state fair, I ran into a person who works with him! (I haven't seen that guy for 14 years!) So I see that the guy at the fair is wearing a shirt from where we worked together...I asked him about it. Turns out that he knows my old boyfriend. Now, granted, I BLEW it, and didn't give him my card or anything, but my point is that fate might someday still roll it around...who knows?

You are a GREAT guy, and will find someone who is perfect for you...whether it's "her" or someone else.
 
see i have a gf now. and i....cant say i love her, ive only been dating her for what...10 days now. i mean ive known her since i was about 13. but i really like my gf, i care for her and i want to be with her. her name's amanda. i want to be with amanda....but i cant change my feelings for the other girl. i am really fucked here.
 
AJ said:
see i have a gf now. and i....cant say i love her, ive only been dating her for what...10 days now. i mean ive known her since i was about 13. but i really like my gf, i care for her and i want to be with her. her name's amanda. i want to be with amanda....but i cant change my feelings for the other girl. i am really fucked here.
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Wait, wait... I'm not entirely clear with what happened in your life and I know it is none of my business. But what you said got me curious... I'm bit confused by your statement. You said that you were dating a woman for ten days and you called her, "your gf". Are you in a serious relationship with that woman? Not just a date? And if you do have feelings for the other girl, Amanda, then why are you dating that woman? Sorry for so many questions or personal questions but I'm just wondering. You don't have to answer them if you feel that my questions are not appropriate.

Maybe I have a different perspective of 'dating' and 'girlfriend'. That may be my fault for not able to understand your post.
 
Magatsu said:
Wait, wait... I'm not entirely clear with what happened in your life and I know it is none of my business. But what you said got me curious... I'm bit confused by your statement. You said that you were dating a woman for ten days and you called her, "your gf". Are you in a serious relationship with that woman? Not just a date? And if you do have feelings for the other girl, Amanda, then why are you dating that woman? Sorry for so many questions or personal questions but I'm just wondering. You don't have to answer them if you feel that my questions are not appropriate.

Maybe I have a different perspective of 'dating' and 'girlfriend'. That may be my fault for not able to understand your post.
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lol no its my fault...when i say date, im meaning she's my girlfriend

amanda is my girlfriend. ill call the other girl Jane...since i dont think she'd appreciate me using her real name.


alright ive known Amanda since i was 13, im 23 now so amanda and i have known eachother for 10 years.

jane and i have known eachother less than that.

ive tried to ask jane to be mine...but for reasons unknown to even me...i just could never ask her. maybe it isn't supposed to be. i want amanda, i like her a lot. she's a sweet sweet girl and i know she cares about me. and it feels very right when im with amanda. i mean....amanda looks at me with love in her eyes, and ive never had a woman look at me like that before.

i think the issue of Jane is that.....some guy is giving her attention and im jealous. as soon as some man give her attention i suddenly want her. and thats not right i know. jane and i were close to a relationship...but now we've grown into more of a friendship. and like i said...i need to focus on amanda...because she's my gf and i do like her and i do want to be with her.

i think im more afraid of jane being safe with a man. u know? i dont want anyone to hurt her or break her heart.

im with amanda and i am happy.
 
Magatsu said:
I second. AJ, that's all you can do.

After years of dating/relationships, I've learned one important lesson about women; if I want to date that woman, don't try to make friends with her or otherwise, she would prefer to have me as friend, not as boyfriend and such. Women, don't take it as offense, that was my personal perspective and experience. I didn't get Nas by befriending her, we got into this relationship because she asked me out since she gave up waiting for me to ask her out.

AJ, believe it or not, I totally understand the situation you're in. It totally sucks. I used to have a crush on this girl in HS and I made a huge mistake by befriending her. From that day on, she always considered me as her good friend and refused to go out with me because she don't want to lose our friendship *shrugs*

Either way, move on or hope that someday she'll change her mind about you. Dude, good luck.
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I'm not like that.. after being sexually harassed twice when i was 16 by some weirdo i didn't know who looked like 29 or older. I don't go out with a guy unless i know him,and it takes a really long time. I really miss my friend TJ who helped me out,and made me feel stronger,and offered to walk me home. But then he became an asshole cause he always came to school drunk. and it made me cry cause that wasn't tj. I know tj he was caring. stupid alochol :tears: I have been thinking about writing him since i haven't seen him in two years.
 
AJ said:
what do u do, when u love someone, but they only see u as a friend, a buddy. and u understand that, but u cant help but have these feelings..
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I been there, done that. There is nothing we can do about it right? The feelings are not gotta disappear over night, and it might never will. But, when there is someone you love is happy, You gotta accept that because I have too, but this person would never leave our hearts. You can still care about this person, but don't blow it by sharing your feelings because it's not fair to the other person that is with the person you love. You don't want to ruin a good relationship, because You don't want someone doing that to you either right? You cannot control your heart, but you can control your mind. :)

There is one person I've loved for a long time, he is married now, and he is happy. So, why would I want to ruin that just because I want him? I have to put my feelings aside, and think about this other person he is with. She is too sweet, and she is my good friend. I care so much about the friendship with both of them, and I don't want to destroy it. ;)
 
It will be hard ones cuz if i love someone, and someone don't love me. It kept gave me heartache, cuz he don't feel as i do. But will change someone toward to you after find out that u does love that person. Which it starling them, and never feel same as friendships. I never have that experience, but 3 guys felt that way toward to me. I got mixed feelings at them cuz, they re not want to be my friends but want me to be their g/f. I don't feel right. I had to move on, and hate to see them hurts and not way i feels about them. Its hard to get things go away for awhile. They re not the same as i used hang w/, but its best way to do tho. We used to be closer friends. Its sad to lose that friendship, but not need to have that pain feels. Struggles is to move on!
 
Yeah, it's hard when one's in a situation similar to what you (AJ and others) went through in having 'lost the opportunity' to go out with someone you were interested in. I've been through a few like that in the past and it's not a pleasant experience to go through.
 
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