Really? I don't have Wii but I do have DS and I haven't encounter that in DS.
The confusion between Deaf and HOH from an Oral Deaf person
- Thread starter FadedRose
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Really? I don't have Wii but I do have DS and I haven't encounter that in DS.
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Right - all my DSiXL games have captions of some sort.
Son is on the XBox 360 a lot. I have to admit, I would not know what to do with a lot of his games if it weren't for the instructions. Right now, he is playing Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood and Dragon Age Origins with expansion pack. We also have some kind of car racing and hubby's ever faithful and boring fishing games.
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The game thing in silence is very similar to dancing music that has instructions in it.
Try dancing to the Cha Cha Slide without listening to the music!
Cha Cha Slide Lyrics Dj Casper
Try dancing to the Cha Cha Slide without listening to the music!
Cha Cha Slide Lyrics Dj Casper
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I don't think that's going to work. I remember seeing it for the first time and thinking it sounded like a musical war.
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They used to be among my most favorite videos, but now that I can't hear a thing, I never watch them anymore. The video just doesn't go with the music at all, though I do remember picturing in my mind Mickey Mouse as the Sorcerer's Apprentice whenever hearing that music play in a very loud elevator.
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I remember the first time I watched fantasia (I was about 11)... I was so confused... and to this day I still don't like it because it never made any sense to me... The one at disney land is cool though... because they have the lights and I can feel some of the vibrations. (NEVER wore my HA's at DL, didn't want them to come off in the rides)
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Fantasia NEVER made sense to me... not even back when I had better hearing. Well, comparatively better hearing than I have now. (oh, how to quantify a level of hearing??? how confusing)
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Fantasia NEVER made sense to me... not even back when I had better hearing. Well, comparatively better hearing than I have now. (oh, how to quantify a level of hearing??? how confusing)
so glad i'm not the only one who has problems with Fantasia
and I understand the whole quantifying the level of hearing a person has... I can tell even since I went to get my audiogram... my hearing has gotten worse... and my speech discrimination... At least my ASL has gotten better
or hopefully it has gotten better. Should ask PFH if it has gotten better...
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Well - I was raised listening to classical music and cartoons, so it made a lot of sense to me. Sorry. It's just harder for me now since I can't hear it and I have forgotten a lot of the music. Oh well!
I thought I was alone, but obviously I'm not
As an oral deaf individual of 50 years, my issues are both similar and different from some. In 50 years of living, I've lived without technology and with it. I was raised in the rural country and my mother would not allow me to be acquainted with other deaf people or deaf organizations once I was out of elementary school. I was only in a deaf residential school through elementary school to obtain a "functional means of communicating on which to base a more normalized means of communicating (speaking)." My mother never discussed why she removed me from all things and people related to deaf culture other than to say, "If you act deaf and function deaf, you'll always be no more than those ways and actions because people will assume you are more limited than you really are. You need to function as normally as possible because the world is hard, cruel and will not cater to you. People will walk on you and give you no respect or opportunity. You must be as good at functioning in the hearing world as you can possibly be to have a decent life." I never understood all that and the intent until I was in my late 20's. I sometimes hated her for removing me from people I could easily relate with and forcing me to fit into the hearing world.
I was in a public hearing school throughout high school. It was hard because I was the only deaf kid around and back then the stereotypes were not just stereotypes, they were purely prejudicial judgments of one's abilities and personal qualities. I was an athlete so it was difficult - until they needed me to do the things I was good at that would win for the teams. Throughout school, I was also the object of every teen boys' fantasy - a girl they could date and abuse because they thought I was an ignorant female that couldn't do anything about it. Those kinds of guys were a pain because every other cute girl wanted their attentions and I couldn't get rid of them fast enough because they were jerks who thought I was a novelty.
By the time I finished high school, it was never a question that I would go to college, but I couldn't go to Gallaudet - that's a deaf university and of course my mother wouldn't allow it. I went to a state university part-time and got jobs as a nursing assistant in nursing homes. I hated all of it and finally ditched everything and ran away to family at the opposite side of the U.S. I'd hoped they'd give me respite and acceptance. Not the case. They did give me a wonderful place to live and promptly required me to enroll in the local community college and participate in a local church. I did and it was okay for a while, but communication was always hard with them because I couldn't really read my uncle's facial structure and my aunt was a meek, mild mouse of a woman for whom I had no respect.
I left that life and came to the midwest. I admit to using my deafness in ways I'd never dreamed purely because I was completely exhausted always struggling to fit into the hearing world that it was sometimes nice just to pretend I couldn't understand or talk just to get people to either leave me alone or to get them to do the harder work of communicating via writing. I floated and struggled for about two years and admit that I was also quite promiscuous because I was looking for love and didn't have a clue what that really meant. I finally met my first husband - a hearie. For 13 years we were married and he could NEVER communicate on my terms, it was always on his. We had a son and I said that regardless of all things, he was MY son first, last, and always to raise to be a good person and do his best in life. Our son became the pawn in our sick marriage until I finally realized I married badly and left, taking our son.
I was on my own and decided I needed to finish a college degree to become completely self-sufficient and independent. I attended Purdue University. This time, I was 32 years old and finally, I was able to go to the Student Services and get set up with accommodations for my classes that enabled me to focus on the lecturers while note-takers took my notes & court stenographers turned "real time captioners" were capturing the entirety of my classes in print form. While every other student had 3 - 7 books and their own notes to study, I had to pour through hundreds of pages of printed text that was the notes of my classes in addition to my books. Did I mention my field of study? COMMUNICATION! I was the joke of the university because of it, until I cranked out many papers that were too good to be degraded. I graduated with a degree in Communication with triple minors in English, psychology, and organizational leadership from Purdue University. I got that degree in 1998, while being a full-time parent, full-time employee and full-time student! No small chore for anyone hearing or deaf!
I did everything everyone said would make me marketable and successful at finding a good job. To this day, I have NEVER found a good job! The best I've managed was to be the Administrative Secretary in a public high school and I write and do sewing and horse training to make some money on the side. Last summer (2010), I lost my job because our district experienced serious budget cuts and my job was given to a person of lesser qualifications simply because she was in the school system longer, even though I'd had five years. Here I am a year later and now, the economy has made jobs hard to find, but when you have a disability and some age, it's almost impossible. I've never been able to network with well-connected people and I've never had the luxury of being able to do nothing but look for a great job - I need money to pay bills. Therefore, the professional experience I have does nothing to advance me because I've been completely under-employed since I got my degree.
When people have found out about my deafness, they have always called me "amazing and talented" because I'm oral and I too have learned strategies for surviving with hearies that make it easy for them to NOT notice my deafness. However, they want to "test" me and think I'm stupid enough that I don't realize that's what they're doing. I've been told that I'm a "wonderfully talented, highly intelligent, very organized, skilled person-more so when you consider my 'disability.'" I despise those kinds of qualifiers. I don't identify them as being gifted for people who wear glasses or manage to tie their shoes so I think considering me gifted because I do so much without being able to hear is insulting. At the same time, I have NO connection to the deaf world, deaf people and I don't sign. I have no one in my life with even half a clue what my life is really like and how hard it is to always make it easier for those around me than they ever make it for me to just be me.
I also enjoy pulling out my hearing aids and not hearing the noise. I often wonder how different my life would be if I even had one deaf friend to relate to. The problem with that is that I'm not sure I can truly relate to a culturally deaf person and their life either.
I've been caught between two worlds my entire life and never truly fit into either world. It's been a frustration and now that I'm getting older, it's a series of frustrations I really don't want to endure the rest of my life, but have no choice. Frankly, if I died tomorrow, it would be a great relief not to have to work so hard to survive in a world that claims to be "disabilities friendly and all-inclusive." There is no such thing as a hearie who can possibly understand the totality of a deaf life-oral or cultural deaf. I'm not sure there are culturally deaf people who can understand how hard it is to be oral deaf and have no life-lines to people who understand life between the two worlds of the deaf and hearing.
For you young people struggling with the issues of life as oral deaf, it hasn't ever been easy and if you think it will get easier, keep dreaming, but don't count on it. Life is not easy and no one ever promised it would be. It's a challenge on the best of days - for everyone. If you're oral deaf you're blessed and cursed because you can never completely fit in either world. Get over the idea that you can. You have to make the best of what you have and be the best that you can be as the person you are. Set your eyes, heart and mind on being that person and not on being oral deaf, deaf, HOH, or hearing. Just live to the best of your abilities and strive to achieve your goals knowing you'll probably always work harder for it than most other people.
At least now, the technology of computers and cell phones has bridged many communication gaps and makes life easier in general. Use that technology to your advantage at every opportunity.
Thanks for letting me vent my frustrations.
CARedmon
As an oral deaf individual of 50 years, my issues are both similar and different from some. In 50 years of living, I've lived without technology and with it. I was raised in the rural country and my mother would not allow me to be acquainted with other deaf people or deaf organizations once I was out of elementary school. I was only in a deaf residential school through elementary school to obtain a "functional means of communicating on which to base a more normalized means of communicating (speaking)." My mother never discussed why she removed me from all things and people related to deaf culture other than to say, "If you act deaf and function deaf, you'll always be no more than those ways and actions because people will assume you are more limited than you really are. You need to function as normally as possible because the world is hard, cruel and will not cater to you. People will walk on you and give you no respect or opportunity. You must be as good at functioning in the hearing world as you can possibly be to have a decent life." I never understood all that and the intent until I was in my late 20's. I sometimes hated her for removing me from people I could easily relate with and forcing me to fit into the hearing world.
I was in a public hearing school throughout high school. It was hard because I was the only deaf kid around and back then the stereotypes were not just stereotypes, they were purely prejudicial judgments of one's abilities and personal qualities. I was an athlete so it was difficult - until they needed me to do the things I was good at that would win for the teams. Throughout school, I was also the object of every teen boys' fantasy - a girl they could date and abuse because they thought I was an ignorant female that couldn't do anything about it. Those kinds of guys were a pain because every other cute girl wanted their attentions and I couldn't get rid of them fast enough because they were jerks who thought I was a novelty.
By the time I finished high school, it was never a question that I would go to college, but I couldn't go to Gallaudet - that's a deaf university and of course my mother wouldn't allow it. I went to a state university part-time and got jobs as a nursing assistant in nursing homes. I hated all of it and finally ditched everything and ran away to family at the opposite side of the U.S. I'd hoped they'd give me respite and acceptance. Not the case. They did give me a wonderful place to live and promptly required me to enroll in the local community college and participate in a local church. I did and it was okay for a while, but communication was always hard with them because I couldn't really read my uncle's facial structure and my aunt was a meek, mild mouse of a woman for whom I had no respect.
I left that life and came to the midwest. I admit to using my deafness in ways I'd never dreamed purely because I was completely exhausted always struggling to fit into the hearing world that it was sometimes nice just to pretend I couldn't understand or talk just to get people to either leave me alone or to get them to do the harder work of communicating via writing. I floated and struggled for about two years and admit that I was also quite promiscuous because I was looking for love and didn't have a clue what that really meant. I finally met my first husband - a hearie. For 13 years we were married and he could NEVER communicate on my terms, it was always on his. We had a son and I said that regardless of all things, he was MY son first, last, and always to raise to be a good person and do his best in life. Our son became the pawn in our sick marriage until I finally realized I married badly and left, taking our son.
I was on my own and decided I needed to finish a college degree to become completely self-sufficient and independent. I attended Purdue University. This time, I was 32 years old and finally, I was able to go to the Student Services and get set up with accommodations for my classes that enabled me to focus on the lecturers while note-takers took my notes & court stenographers turned "real time captioners" were capturing the entirety of my classes in print form. While every other student had 3 - 7 books and their own notes to study, I had to pour through hundreds of pages of printed text that was the notes of my classes in addition to my books. Did I mention my field of study? COMMUNICATION! I was the joke of the university because of it, until I cranked out many papers that were too good to be degraded. I graduated with a degree in Communication with triple minors in English, psychology, and organizational leadership from Purdue University. I got that degree in 1998, while being a full-time parent, full-time employee and full-time student! No small chore for anyone hearing or deaf!
I did everything everyone said would make me marketable and successful at finding a good job. To this day, I have NEVER found a good job! The best I've managed was to be the Administrative Secretary in a public high school and I write and do sewing and horse training to make some money on the side. Last summer (2010), I lost my job because our district experienced serious budget cuts and my job was given to a person of lesser qualifications simply because she was in the school system longer, even though I'd had five years. Here I am a year later and now, the economy has made jobs hard to find, but when you have a disability and some age, it's almost impossible. I've never been able to network with well-connected people and I've never had the luxury of being able to do nothing but look for a great job - I need money to pay bills. Therefore, the professional experience I have does nothing to advance me because I've been completely under-employed since I got my degree.
When people have found out about my deafness, they have always called me "amazing and talented" because I'm oral and I too have learned strategies for surviving with hearies that make it easy for them to NOT notice my deafness. However, they want to "test" me and think I'm stupid enough that I don't realize that's what they're doing. I've been told that I'm a "wonderfully talented, highly intelligent, very organized, skilled person-more so when you consider my 'disability.'" I despise those kinds of qualifiers. I don't identify them as being gifted for people who wear glasses or manage to tie their shoes so I think considering me gifted because I do so much without being able to hear is insulting. At the same time, I have NO connection to the deaf world, deaf people and I don't sign. I have no one in my life with even half a clue what my life is really like and how hard it is to always make it easier for those around me than they ever make it for me to just be me.
I also enjoy pulling out my hearing aids and not hearing the noise. I often wonder how different my life would be if I even had one deaf friend to relate to. The problem with that is that I'm not sure I can truly relate to a culturally deaf person and their life either.
I've been caught between two worlds my entire life and never truly fit into either world. It's been a frustration and now that I'm getting older, it's a series of frustrations I really don't want to endure the rest of my life, but have no choice. Frankly, if I died tomorrow, it would be a great relief not to have to work so hard to survive in a world that claims to be "disabilities friendly and all-inclusive." There is no such thing as a hearie who can possibly understand the totality of a deaf life-oral or cultural deaf. I'm not sure there are culturally deaf people who can understand how hard it is to be oral deaf and have no life-lines to people who understand life between the two worlds of the deaf and hearing.
For you young people struggling with the issues of life as oral deaf, it hasn't ever been easy and if you think it will get easier, keep dreaming, but don't count on it. Life is not easy and no one ever promised it would be. It's a challenge on the best of days - for everyone. If you're oral deaf you're blessed and cursed because you can never completely fit in either world. Get over the idea that you can. You have to make the best of what you have and be the best that you can be as the person you are. Set your eyes, heart and mind on being that person and not on being oral deaf, deaf, HOH, or hearing. Just live to the best of your abilities and strive to achieve your goals knowing you'll probably always work harder for it than most other people.
At least now, the technology of computers and cell phones has bridged many communication gaps and makes life easier in general. Use that technology to your advantage at every opportunity.
Thanks for letting me vent my frustrations.
CARedmon
Well I started losing my hearing in the third grade and it has been a gradual progression. Now in my fifties my loss across the board is profound. I can hear with the aids in although speech comprehension is terrible. Without the aids I'm all but deaf, can hear a loud bang once in a while. Which means my speech is normal which means no one thinks I'm deaf which means when I don't hear something I get the remark of turn those things up. I don't expect most people to understand, after all it's not their life. What annoys me the most is the people that I have taken the time to explain things to, and it just doesn't matter. Or those that understand the situation and use my disability for their entertainment or amusement, like when I misunderstand something. I'm the guy who struggles all day and still manages to get by but they act as if my loss is an inconvenience to them. I read somewhere once that those with a loss lead a much more stressful life then those who are deaf, because society accepts deaf as not being able to hear anything while those who are HOH are forced to try to get by in a society where a person is expected to hear everything, and that hearing aids, like glasses, fix all. God forbid when I don't wear the aids at all and I tell people in a clear voice that I am deaf. you should see the looks.
Wow! I could have written your post. Minus the Harvard Doctor experience or the kind and supportive parents.
Cathartic writing about it though, isn't it?
I have a high IQ, well educated, well respected by colleagues and I *still* get the, "Wow, you've done so well, considering." :roll: I feel like saying, "Considering what?!! Do you think Deaf people can't succeed like any other human!!!"
I, too, sense familiar people. You learn to feel the thump of their feet when walking. Or, because I can still hear different tones and sounds, you learn to sense that someone familiar is talking. Like you, my HAs simply amplify what I can't understand anyhow so I rarely use them and focus on lip and body language reading.
I think part of the reason there is this misconception between Deaf, and being intelligent and capable of success, is that most hearies do not understand that ASL is naturally our first language. They expect that we are writing in English if we're born in an English speaking country. If hearies have been exposed to 'written ASL' then they would likely think our skills are not that great. But, what they don't understand, is that ASL is *NOT* English. Never has been, never will be and that for the Deaf, for many of us, we are always translating our ASL to English sentences so that they can understand us. Not the other way around. I'd say, that for us to be able to do that, makes us very well advanced indeed.
Incidentally, I didn't do very good in school likely because I was being taught how everyone else thought I should be educated. Once I was an adult, and could teach myself the way that I knew would work, I did very, very well.
Cathartic writing about it though, isn't it?
I have a high IQ, well educated, well respected by colleagues and I *still* get the, "Wow, you've done so well, considering." :roll: I feel like saying, "Considering what?!! Do you think Deaf people can't succeed like any other human!!!"
I, too, sense familiar people. You learn to feel the thump of their feet when walking. Or, because I can still hear different tones and sounds, you learn to sense that someone familiar is talking. Like you, my HAs simply amplify what I can't understand anyhow so I rarely use them and focus on lip and body language reading.
I think part of the reason there is this misconception between Deaf, and being intelligent and capable of success, is that most hearies do not understand that ASL is naturally our first language. They expect that we are writing in English if we're born in an English speaking country. If hearies have been exposed to 'written ASL' then they would likely think our skills are not that great. But, what they don't understand, is that ASL is *NOT* English. Never has been, never will be and that for the Deaf, for many of us, we are always translating our ASL to English sentences so that they can understand us. Not the other way around. I'd say, that for us to be able to do that, makes us very well advanced indeed.
Incidentally, I didn't do very good in school likely because I was being taught how everyone else thought I should be educated. Once I was an adult, and could teach myself the way that I knew would work, I did very, very well.
DeafCaroline
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I can relate to so many stories here.
Caredmom - I relate to you so well. I was also an oral deafie and also was a single mom going to university majoring in history until I realized that if I wanted a real chance of earning money, that I had to learn a trade so i went back to school and studied graphic design and was able to start up my own business as a freelancer. Was lucky in the sense that my ex was in the film business and I was able to use his connections to get graphic design work designing props for movies and tv shows. It was actually his idea that I learn a trade for he knew I would never gain employment with a major in history despite that I did this to please my father who wanted me to have a well rounded education so I would be a nice and educated housewife.
I really believe now that if deaf people want a better chance of earning an income that they need to start up their own businesses and be their own bosses because they'd have a far better chance than trying to get hired. If I hadn't studied graphic design, I would have probably studied to be an electrician, a welder, a mechanic, all trades that pay well and would enable me to be my own boss if necessary. I remember when I first came here, some deaf guy sniffed his nose at the audacity of deaf schools teaching trades as if they didn't think deaf people would do well in university. Well, the fact is, deaf people have a far better chance of earning an income from a trade than from a university degree in say psychology or english lit or whatever. I'd rather be a welder earning 30$ an hour than an unemployed Psych major.
thank you for your post - it was honest and frank and rooted in realism. The hearing world tells us we're so amazing that we can speak despite being deaf yet they won't hire us. Any hearing parent who tells their deaf child that they'd have a better chance in life if they can speak and "listen" is misleading them.
Caredmom - I relate to you so well. I was also an oral deafie and also was a single mom going to university majoring in history until I realized that if I wanted a real chance of earning money, that I had to learn a trade so i went back to school and studied graphic design and was able to start up my own business as a freelancer. Was lucky in the sense that my ex was in the film business and I was able to use his connections to get graphic design work designing props for movies and tv shows. It was actually his idea that I learn a trade for he knew I would never gain employment with a major in history despite that I did this to please my father who wanted me to have a well rounded education so I would be a nice and educated housewife.
I really believe now that if deaf people want a better chance of earning an income that they need to start up their own businesses and be their own bosses because they'd have a far better chance than trying to get hired. If I hadn't studied graphic design, I would have probably studied to be an electrician, a welder, a mechanic, all trades that pay well and would enable me to be my own boss if necessary. I remember when I first came here, some deaf guy sniffed his nose at the audacity of deaf schools teaching trades as if they didn't think deaf people would do well in university. Well, the fact is, deaf people have a far better chance of earning an income from a trade than from a university degree in say psychology or english lit or whatever. I'd rather be a welder earning 30$ an hour than an unemployed Psych major.
thank you for your post - it was honest and frank and rooted in realism. The hearing world tells us we're so amazing that we can speak despite being deaf yet they won't hire us. Any hearing parent who tells their deaf child that they'd have a better chance in life if they can speak and "listen" is misleading them.
AJWSmith
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I think you're right DeafCaroline about earning money as a small business owner, freelancer or self-employed person. I've always been an employee in large organizations, but was never given the promotion chances that I saw hearing people around me get. I feel quite bitter about it now as I slogged my guts out for nearly two decades being an intensely productive employee in the hope of better rewards. My bosses were appreciative of my hard work, but I never got the promotion I wanted. All that energy and talent I expended in serving my various bosses would have been much better used in developing my own business/trade. It's probably my biggest single regret that when I left school I choose to be an employee instead of a self-employed person. I've now been unemployed for nearly two years and lack the skills/trade to be self-employed as all my education and training is related to working as a dependent employee in a large organization.
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Mmm... I can related to that. What I called myself as Splitworld. You know not only oralist/Hoh having difficulty with two worlds. You know it same goes for children with interracial parents. If a child that have white and African-American parents and having hard time deciding to go which church? All white church or all African American church. Sometime interracial children get frustrated growing up living in two races but children learn to adapt, to accept who he/she are. Sometime living in two worlds can be frustrating.
For me I maybe little different, You know there are stereotyping among deaf people. Sometime when hearing people think of the worse when they hear deaf person being hired to work. OMG!!! You know? You know in this hearing world get this kind of stereotype about deaf people. Then like you, hearing people get shocked about how good you are and get a different view about you.... You know, we are in small population of having great skill in speaking, hearing and such..but we define as deaf person. That what make hearing people get all impress how well you do compare to other deaf people in a large population.
So, in order to stop this kind of sterotyping... what I did in the past when a person came up to me and says..."You deaf?? Wow you speak very well and hear well!" I rolled my eyes... then I said.. "So you saying like "You black?? Wow you are very intelligent and rich!!" She suddenly shook herself and apologized profusely. Then I explained to her that it's typical of stereotype of how they view deaf people.
You know back in during the slavery and segregation and how all the white people stereotype African-American lifestyle. Then later it all changed. We are becoming more accepted to African-American cultural and how they live in this society, that we no longer view as stereotyping. Why? We see African-American everywhere, it's very large population. We are now intermix together everywhere. So, this is how we learn about African-American and we learn to respect them. No more "N" word, no more calling out identity or labeling of this person... you know..."This black person did this...this black person ran away" and such.... So, what about deaf population? Very very small. We don't get enough attention like African-American did in the past. There's not enough awareness about deaf population. There's not enough understanding about deaf culture. You know if today, if deaf population is equal to the number of hispanic or african american, I'm sure there will be no longer as stereotyping, being accepted to deaf culture and how they are raised. Sadly, It's not going to happen. We are very small number.
The reason of me writing this, it's about how hearing people forget this and how hearing people view deaf people. Many hearing people keep on hearing how deaf people live on SSI or SDDI and not getting education or job. How many deaf people are living like that? Too many. We, like you, me and other intelligent deaf people who hold a job well, graduated with BS, MS or PH.D or anything like that. How many are there compare to how many deaf people living on SSI or SDDI or no job? We are minority of deaf culture. This is why I called "Living in a Splitworld". We are living between hearing and deaf world. Between the two, we are the minority... When hearing people keep on saying how impressed about my intelligent, communicating with hearing people, how much I can hear and so on. I'm getting tired of that. Sometime I feel like I'm not like other deaf people but I AM DEAF.
You know, there are time to time that I been thinking of HOW we can STOP this stereotype... well.... really..there's nothing can do about it... if deaf population are equal number of hispanic or African-American people... this will be entirely different story.
Once hearing people hear about deaf person being hired... you won't hear any more of "OMG!!" Because many hearing people accepted large number of deaf culture. Will this happen?
It's frustrating.. that I have to keep on training them about deaf culture and there are few time people asked me...."Why those deaf people living in SSI or SDDI!! or Why can't they get a job, or They seem so uneducated...?" When they asked me like this... I'm just trapped, pissed and such. I'm in between those two worlds.
And for the parting shot... I'm proud to be deaf but I'm just getting tired of teaching hearing people about deaf culture.
Today.. many people still confused about Deaf... Lot of time I'm just getting tired of repeating "You Black? Wow you are intelligent and rich!!" It's not working.... So, I just have to accept it and say..."Thanks...." then ignore him/her.
I caught many of my new employees by lip reading from a distance, when they first learned that I'm deaf and I can see his face came into shock and saying, "Him?? Deaf?? Wow!" Or, many hearing employees still come to my office instead of making a phone call. Or many hearing people first time come in my office and found out that I'm on a phone... and with his/her face came in confusion..like "he can talk on phone!!" Oh..this remind me...
When a person came in for first time seeing me on phone and this person face came in a little shocked and confused... and here's our conversation:
Me: excuse me for second (to the phone and I look at him) Oh... don't worry about my phone... I'm just faking it cuz I hear people about to walk in my office so I pick up the phone quickly to advoid having discussion with him/her.
Employee: Oh..ok.. umm.... you got a second?
Me: No, can you come back later?
Employee: Oh sure...
3 seconds later
Same employee came back: Wait a minute, did you just say you can hear people just about to walk in???
Me: Uhhh..yeah!!
Secretary just walk passed the employee and over heard the conversation: Steve (employee name), don't trust him...and yes he's deaf...
Me: Whaaaaaaaat????
Employee (Steve): Man!! You got me confused...You bad! (laughing) Oh wait..can you talk on phone?
Me: Yeah... (then I explain to him how I use the phone)
It's pretty common for people didn't realize I can talk on the phone and assuming that I can't be deaf.
Don't you see, this is everyday life... with all the story above it's either to live with it or if you want to become completely deaf, voice off and use ASL 100 percents of the time. If you do that, you will face another frustration.
Regret being Oral Deaf for similar reasons? I don't see any differences. Of course Deaf will get used to it but they still face frustration. For you or like me or other similar people... we just have to learn and accept it. It take lot of courage to face the reality... you know?
For me I maybe little different, You know there are stereotyping among deaf people. Sometime when hearing people think of the worse when they hear deaf person being hired to work. OMG!!! You know? You know in this hearing world get this kind of stereotype about deaf people. Then like you, hearing people get shocked about how good you are and get a different view about you.... You know, we are in small population of having great skill in speaking, hearing and such..but we define as deaf person. That what make hearing people get all impress how well you do compare to other deaf people in a large population.
So, in order to stop this kind of sterotyping... what I did in the past when a person came up to me and says..."You deaf?? Wow you speak very well and hear well!" I rolled my eyes... then I said.. "So you saying like "You black?? Wow you are very intelligent and rich!!" She suddenly shook herself and apologized profusely. Then I explained to her that it's typical of stereotype of how they view deaf people.
You know back in during the slavery and segregation and how all the white people stereotype African-American lifestyle. Then later it all changed. We are becoming more accepted to African-American cultural and how they live in this society, that we no longer view as stereotyping. Why? We see African-American everywhere, it's very large population. We are now intermix together everywhere. So, this is how we learn about African-American and we learn to respect them. No more "N" word, no more calling out identity or labeling of this person... you know..."This black person did this...this black person ran away" and such.... So, what about deaf population? Very very small. We don't get enough attention like African-American did in the past. There's not enough awareness about deaf population. There's not enough understanding about deaf culture. You know if today, if deaf population is equal to the number of hispanic or african american, I'm sure there will be no longer as stereotyping, being accepted to deaf culture and how they are raised. Sadly, It's not going to happen. We are very small number.
The reason of me writing this, it's about how hearing people forget this and how hearing people view deaf people. Many hearing people keep on hearing how deaf people live on SSI or SDDI and not getting education or job. How many deaf people are living like that? Too many. We, like you, me and other intelligent deaf people who hold a job well, graduated with BS, MS or PH.D or anything like that. How many are there compare to how many deaf people living on SSI or SDDI or no job? We are minority of deaf culture. This is why I called "Living in a Splitworld". We are living between hearing and deaf world. Between the two, we are the minority... When hearing people keep on saying how impressed about my intelligent, communicating with hearing people, how much I can hear and so on. I'm getting tired of that. Sometime I feel like I'm not like other deaf people but I AM DEAF.
You know, there are time to time that I been thinking of HOW we can STOP this stereotype... well.... really..there's nothing can do about it... if deaf population are equal number of hispanic or African-American people... this will be entirely different story.
Once hearing people hear about deaf person being hired... you won't hear any more of "OMG!!" Because many hearing people accepted large number of deaf culture. Will this happen?
It's frustrating.. that I have to keep on training them about deaf culture and there are few time people asked me...."Why those deaf people living in SSI or SDDI!! or Why can't they get a job, or They seem so uneducated...?" When they asked me like this... I'm just trapped, pissed and such. I'm in between those two worlds.
And for the parting shot... I'm proud to be deaf but I'm just getting tired of teaching hearing people about deaf culture.
Today.. many people still confused about Deaf... Lot of time I'm just getting tired of repeating "You Black? Wow you are intelligent and rich!!" It's not working.... So, I just have to accept it and say..."Thanks...." then ignore him/her.
I caught many of my new employees by lip reading from a distance, when they first learned that I'm deaf and I can see his face came into shock and saying, "Him?? Deaf?? Wow!" Or, many hearing employees still come to my office instead of making a phone call. Or many hearing people first time come in my office and found out that I'm on a phone... and with his/her face came in confusion..like "he can talk on phone!!" Oh..this remind me...
When a person came in for first time seeing me on phone and this person face came in a little shocked and confused... and here's our conversation:
Me: excuse me for second (to the phone and I look at him) Oh... don't worry about my phone... I'm just faking it cuz I hear people about to walk in my office so I pick up the phone quickly to advoid having discussion with him/her.
Employee: Oh..ok.. umm.... you got a second?
Me: No, can you come back later?
Employee: Oh sure...
3 seconds later
Same employee came back: Wait a minute, did you just say you can hear people just about to walk in???
Me: Uhhh..yeah!!
Secretary just walk passed the employee and over heard the conversation: Steve (employee name), don't trust him...and yes he's deaf...
Me: Whaaaaaaaat????
Employee (Steve): Man!! You got me confused...You bad! (laughing) Oh wait..can you talk on phone?
Me: Yeah... (then I explain to him how I use the phone)
It's pretty common for people didn't realize I can talk on the phone and assuming that I can't be deaf.
Don't you see, this is everyday life... with all the story above it's either to live with it or if you want to become completely deaf, voice off and use ASL 100 percents of the time. If you do that, you will face another frustration.
Regret being Oral Deaf for similar reasons? I don't see any differences. Of course Deaf will get used to it but they still face frustration. For you or like me or other similar people... we just have to learn and accept it. It take lot of courage to face the reality... you know?
I agree with what Caredmom has written. It was so honest and heartfelt and reality for many.
I have a different experience, I guess. I've been self employed, on and off, for over 20 years. Yes, it benefits the individual to be their own boss, particularly the Deaf, but, then again, it was never about that in my case. For me, it was about my skillset that I brought to the table. Maybe, during those times where I was looking for employment, instead of being self employed, I was passed over because I talk funny, who knows, I only know that I have done very well for myself and I'm proud of it.
Just today I sent a reminder email out to my colleagues reminding them of the challenges that I have with communication and that if I can't see their face I don't understand. Even four years ago that would have been unheard of for me to do that. To put myself out there like that. Now? Not a problem at all. These are my needs. Work with me or the work won't get done.
My wish is that the world is a place where people are looked at for who they are instead of who they are not.