A first grade teacher in the Midwest is explaining to her class that she is a Republican and how nice it is that a new Republican president has taken office. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Republicans and support George Bush. Everyone in class raises their hands except one little girl. "Mary," says the teacher with surprise, "why didn't you raise your hand?" Because I'm not a Republican," says Mary. "Well, what are you?" asks the teacher. "I'm a Democrat and proud of it," replies the little girl. The teacher cannot believe her ears. "My goodness, Mary, why are you a Democrat?" she asks. "Well, my momma and papa are Democrats, so I'm a Democrat, too." "Well," says the teacher in an annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a Democrat. You don't always have to be like your parents. What if your momma was a criminal and your papa was a criminal, too, what would you be then?" Mary smiled. "Then we'd be Republicans."
Republicans Jokes
- Thread starter Cheri
- Start date
You Might Be A Republican If...
You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"
You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
You think Huey Newton is a cookie.
The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.
You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."
You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."
You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.
You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."
When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."
You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."
You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.
You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.
You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.
You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.
You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.
You're afraid of the liberal media."
You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."
You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."
You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"
You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
You think Huey Newton is a cookie.
The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.
You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."
You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."
You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.
You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."
When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."
You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."
You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.
You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.
You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.
You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.
You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.
You're afraid of the liberal media."
You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."
You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."
I like that one.Cheri said:
Like what one of people said in Reader's Digest, "Want to be a murderer or pedophile? Be a conservative." -- That's popular statement at one of european community (forums) that I usually hang around.
