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ksbsnowowl

ksbsnowowl

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Hello everyone,

I'm new to alldeaf, and I suppose I'm here just to see what information I can learn about various aspects of deaf culture and relationships.

I recently entered a relationship with a deaf woman. She and I have known each other for two years, working as lab partners in several science classes. I'd known a little sign language before I met her, but I took a college class last fall because I wanted to learn anyway, and she sort of served as an impetus for me to learn.

Anyway, once I learned the basics she and I started hanging out as friends, and the rest is history. I'm still 'in progress' as she likes to say, but I'm learning quickly (that's what she tells me anyway).

So, I suppose I'm most interested in advice for and anecdotes about deaf-hearing relationships. I've heard the horrific 'numbers' about the success of such relationships, but her parents have been doing it for over 25 years, so I'm not overly worried on that front.

Anyway, that's enough spilling of my guts for tonight. Hello to everyone, I'm sure I'll meet most of you in a conversation at some point.

KSB Snow Owl
 
Welcome to AD! Im also a hearing person who came to learn about deaf culture and people after having met an incredible deaf person. I hope you enjoy your time here and look forward to seeing your posts.
 
Hello KSB Snow Owl

Welcome aboard to AD and enjoy your stay. Have fun postin' with new friends here ! :D I am certain you will learn alot more from this site. :thumb:
 
Giday, welcome aboard here.

Good luck with your special gal :)
 
Welcome to AD!

Welcome to AD!
Thats nice you have a deaf friend to hang out with.
Keep up with your sign lanuage, I've known ASL for 30 yrs.
It takes time, but the more you practice the more your learn.
Enjoy your stay!
Margie
 
Hello--

Welcome to AD and enjoy your stay here ;)
 
Hello &
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I am in a relationship with a hearing guy, who also happens to be from a different culture (Vietnamese). It has been really interesting to learn a lot about our differences and working together in order to have a great relationship. My bf has taken three sign language courses for free at a local deaf centre, and his sign language skills has been improving, however he feels as if he is not confident enough with his skills yet.

My biggest advice is not to worry about how you communicate but to make sure that everything is understood either by signing, writing or speaking, whatever works. Misunderstandings can lead to conflicts in the relationship, and keep an open mind on the relationship. Sometimes I cannot always control my voice, and from time to time my sarcastic remarks could be misinterpreted as an angry response when it wasnt intended to be. Also, most deaf people I know tend to talk about things in great details rather than to talk on the surface like hearing people do. Sometimes deaf people tend to add a lot of useless details to their conversations. It takes a while for the hearing person to get used to this, and to realise that he/she will need to accept that fact. When the hearing person starts to talk in great details, then he sort of becomes "Deaf" in conversations.
 
Hi Snow Owl, welcome to these boards. I think you'd get along well with my husband if he was a member of AD, too. He's hearing, and I'm deaf. I'm sure you'll enjoy going to this place.
 
Thanks for the warm welcome everyone.

Thanks for the insight kuifje. She and I have done a good job of communicating so far, and she's very patient in helping me to get better at sign language. Though I don't much have to worry about misinterpreting her verbal tone - she doesn't ever vocalize.

She generally uses a very English word order, and that has made things a lot easier on me. Her mom is also deaf, and thus far I've found it harder to understand her, but it will become easier with practice, I'm sure.

Anyway, thank you for the support. I look forward to any more advice I may one day recieve here.
 
Hello and welcome to Alldeaf ksbsnowowl! As you pointed out, being around this gal for 2 years (and ongoing) definitely helps with your exposure to deaf culture and learning sign-language--there will be great stories of deaf/hearing relationships and not so great stories as well...I do believe the 'key' is two-fold, unwavering love and the desire/commitment and will to communicate with lots of patience and understanding!

Anyhow, hope you'll enjoy your stay here in AD!! ;)
 
G'day ksbsnowowl
Welcome to AD. I hope you'll derive some useful information on this forum.
Wish you all the best in mastering ASL. :)
Cheers! :wave:
 
:wave: :welcome: Hello and welcome ksbsnowowl!!!! Hope you enjoy your stay here at AD.

I am hearing, but, also a CODA. I have been married to my husband, who is deaf, for 27 years. Even though my parent's had taught me to sign when I was 4 years old, when I met my husband at the age of 26 years old, my signing was so old fashioned, very english, my husband looked at me like I had 2 heads. Like what the heck are you signing? My husband is very ASL. So, I went back to classes, learning ASL, and it was just so interesting, and how different the signs were, and less of them, not signing every single word!! The more I learned, I didn't have 2 heads anymore, lol.

You will do fine in your relationship as you made such a wonderful sacrifice to your girlfriend and learned to sign so you both can communicate with each other. Your have been with your girlfriend for 2 years, and this should tell you that you have nothing to fear. It's what you both put into your relationship that's important, not what others tell you.

Good luck to both of you, look forward to your postings!! :angel:
 
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