My boyfriend is becoming Deaf

Southern,

I am not going to give out my opinion on what he should do. You should support him whatever he wants. Even if he doesn't want to learn how to sign, give him a chance. Maybe he doesn't need to? After he tried to wear the C.I., didn't like it very much. He can always learn sign language. Let him decide what he wants, but make sure he get all informations that he need. A pro and con about choclear implants and he should do research on it.

He is going through a hard time so give him the support that you can give. I am profoundly deaf and I don't speak. I use sign language all my life, but some people are better off not learning to sign.
 
Cane Corso said:
Southern,

I am not going to give out my opinion on what he should do. You should support him whatever he wants. Even if he doesn't want to learn how to sign, give him a chance. Maybe he doesn't need to? After he tried to wear the C.I., didn't like it very much. He can always learn sign language. Let him decide what he wants, but make sure he get all informations that he need. A pro and con about choclear implants and he should do research on it.

He is going through a hard time so give him the support that you can give. I am profoundly deaf and I don't speak. I use sign language all my life, but some people are better off not learning to sign.
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I am disappointed that you said that because it put you down if they don't use the signs. It seems that he is depressed now - I understand that, but I hope that he would not to give it up. If a person has no interested to learn the signs at all, then he/she is jerk. That's the way I am. It is okay if they learn some signs, it would be great.
 
webexplorer said:
I am disappointed that you said that because it put you down if they don't use the signs. It seems that he is depressed now - I understand that, but I hope that he would not to give it up. If a person has no interested to learn the signs at all, then he/she is jerk. That's the way I am. It is okay if they learn some signs, it would be great.
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I'm sorry if I disappointed you, but I m not interested in doing that. I feel it is not fair anyone to force the person to change or tell him what he must do because we or they said so. We all are big on signing, but in reality, not everyone has to learn right? There are many different tools that we can use to communicate with each other like computer, cued speech, lipreading, signing, etc.

For example, some kids with autism are better off communicaitng through computer or laptops. Does that mean it is wrong for them to use computer to talk to someone? This might not be the best example, but still.

I think it is the right thing to let him make the choice whatever he feels is right. All I'm saying that he should have all important informations. He needs to make the decision for himself, but he always will be deaf. This is something he has to deal with.
 
Southern's boyfriend wants to learn to sign, and The Audiologist is trying to encourage the boyfriend to get a CI and not learn sign. Southern is trying to support his boyfriend and help him sign. Obviously you did not read that part. Southern is NOT trying to force his boyfriend to do anything, he's trying to support his boyfriend's decisions. Re-read his posts. Obviously you got the wrong information.

Southern is a great guy, from what i've seen in his posts. So I doubt he'd try to force anyone to do anything. You have to remember his boyfriend is scared, and right now needs emotional support.
 
Wow... They shouldn't lecture on your boyfriend what to do. He want two things, learn the sign, and get CI to recovery his hearing.

Now there is two groups are pulling him back and forward.

No sign, Yes CI
Yes sign, No CI

What's the point of arguement? He want both, there's nothing to be against.

I am very sorry for your boyfriend that he have to deal the arguement with those stupid groupies.

I can see your posts, Southern, your boyfriend really love you and want to sign, but he want to hear too. Let him be. He want to learn sign also.

I have to repeat, there's nothing to be against him.
 
Southern said:
OMG so i was talking to him on my sk last night and he was saying his audie and his primary are both discouraging him from learning sign. AND his audie wants him to get CI. AND he feels she looks at Deafness as an illness, something to be fixed. I am supposed to go with him to his next apt to the audie next month. I have to ask him how he wants me to act, like myself or all quiet. If like myself, when she starts in on this crap i will give her an ear full!! Oh and he IS learning sign. He would have to to be my boyfriend i have too many Deaf friends for that not to happen. And he is becoming Deaf himself so it is needed. gggrrrrr when he told me that last night it ticked me off!!! We are going out tonight and will discuss it more over dinner. He had an apt yesterda apt today. He won't tell me what they said until tonight because he wants to give me all the info at once.

He says he is not as scared anymore since he met me. Now he has some one to help him with sign and some one that has a connection to the Deaf community. His brother who is Deaf lives 5 hours away unfortunately.
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That doesn't surprised me at all, They're getting paid very well, Implants cost $40,000 to $50,000 a pop, of course it's covered by health insurance. Audiologists are very pushy when it comes to cochlear implants, They tell that to every deaf person that walks in their office, not kidding. The audiologists also tells parents of cochlear implants children not to use sign too. :(
 
webexplorer said:
I am disappointed that you said that because it put you down if they don't use the signs. It seems that he is depressed now - I understand that, but I hope that he would not to give it up. If a person has no interested to learn the signs at all, then he/she is jerk. That's the way I am. It is okay if they learn some signs, it would be great.
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:gpost: !! I'm with you man. ;)
 
OH! I should add, thank to Cheri for reminder.

I got implanted myself at my 18th age, the audiologist told me that I shouldn't live with other deaf roommate, and should stay with my hearing parents so I can practice the "stupid blahing through the my mouth", which are the ridicilious point I ever heard.

First at all, I DID not benefit from learning to speak through the CI at all. I only learned the natural sounds, like wind, raining, boiling water, fire, tree branches hitting each others, etc etc, but not the speaking.

Also your boyfriend right there already know how to talk, so what's the point to stop him from signing? He want to continuing hearing because he raised that way, and he happened want to learn sign.

What if someone said that hearing people shouldn't sign because they hear.

I see no difference between what the audiologist just said to you and your boyfriend.

If audiologist tell you that AGAIN, tell him/her that:

"this is a lack of excuse because he already know how to speak."

It really make me mad!
 
Ouch! I'm sorry to hear that PuyoPiyo. :hug: It's an ashame for how they treat forward the Deaf. :(
 
Cheri said:
Ouch! I'm sorry to hear that PuyoPiyo. :hug: It's an ashame for how they treat forward the Deaf. :(
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It's allright, thank you, Cheri. I usually get dramatically emotional when people say other to reject the learning of sign language. :hug:
 
the audie is right in some respects, in my opinion.


southern has been exposed to the deaf community, which holds very strong views on very controversial specific subjects, such as signing and CI's....however, he has NOT(edit: to my knowledge, if you have then please, correct me) been exposed to the flip side of that coin, successful oral deaf, successful CI's who still sign, or the negative aspects of deaf culture. He IS biased....that does not mean he is definitivly wrong however, just that he himself does not have all the facts.


i dont mean to sound elitist here, but i've been exposed to the flip side, ive seen successful oral deaf who do not want to sign, and they function fine as productive adults.ive seen many CI users who sign and while i support learning sign 100%, i also support CI's for people who want them, and i do support implanting children.

learning sign and speaking/hearing are not mutually exclusive, so that is a non-point really. if your boyfriend wants to sign, who cares what the audie tells him, really.

i really fell you should let him research CI's for himself, let HIM decide what is best for himself, and support his decision either way. CI's are successful(notice i didn't say cure), and they are simply another tool for a person to use should they choose to do so. even if no more than environmental sounds, least he will be aware when something around him happens.

Deaf culture is not the be all end all for deaf people. Deaf culture can be very exclusive and downright small minded in their views about people, espically late deafened. I have no doubt at all that your friends will accept him, my friends would do the same. But wether he will become a part of the deaf culture anymore than you or I as hearing, is pretty doubtful. His views on controversial subjects will not be respected, he will hear mean things, he will deal with elitist attitudes of people who will claim he isn't "deaf enough". he will never be a native signer, and it will always be noticeable.
 
Cheri said:
That doesn't surprised me at all, They're getting paid very well, Implants cost $40,000 to $50,000 a pop, of course it's covered by health insurance. Audiologists are very pushy when it comes to cochlear implants, They tell that to every deaf person that walks in their office, not kidding. The audiologists also tells parents of cochlear implants children not to use sign too. :(
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Yeah, you are right about that and parents usually don't pay for the surgery. The health insurance pays for it. :ugh3:
 
I hope we didnt scare Southern off with our heated posts, :unsure:
 
PuyoPiyo said:
Wow... They shouldn't lecture on your boyfriend what to do. He want two things, learn the sign, and get CI to recovery his hearing.

Now there is two groups are pulling him back and forward.

No sign, Yes CI
Yes sign, No CI

What's the point of arguement? He want both, there's nothing to be against.

I am very sorry for your boyfriend that he have to deal the arguement with those stupid groupies.

I can see your posts, Southern, your boyfriend really love you and want to sign, but he want to hear too. Let him be. He want to learn sign also.

I have to repeat, there's nothing to be against him.
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Right I agree with u..

Yes to CI and Yes to sign and speaking..That would be AWESOME! :)

Everyone is different ..some dont want CIs..that's ok, some want CIs, still ok too..We are all adults here arent we?
 
PuyoPiyo said:
It's allright, thank you, Cheri. I usually get dramatically emotional when people say other to reject the learning of sign language. :hug:
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Me too! I get the same way too! Probably cuz I was denied sign language growing up when it could have made my life so much better. *sighs*
 
Ariakkas said:
the audie is right in some respects, in my opinion.

I disagree with you there..the audi has no right to say such a thing to Southern's boyfriend. That is crossing the line and that is for Southern and his boyfriend to decide on their own. The audi's responsibility is to offer all the latest hearing assistive technology to the patient not tell the patient to not use sign language.


southern has been exposed to the deaf community, which holds very strong views on very controversial specific subjects, such as signing and CI's....however, he has NOT(edit: to my knowledge, if you have then please, correct me) been exposed to the flip side of that coin, successful oral deaf, successful CI's who still sign, or the negative aspects of deaf culture. He IS biased....that does not mean he is definitivly wrong however, just that he himself does not have all the facts.

That is for Southern and his boyfriend to decide on their own. It is none of our business nor it is the audiologists' business

i dont mean to sound elitist here, but i've been exposed to the flip side, ive seen successful oral deaf who do not want to sign, and they function fine as productive adults.ive seen many CI users who sign and while i support learning sign 100%, i also support CI's for people who want them, and i do support implanting children.

learning sign and speaking/hearing are not mutually exclusive, so that is a non-point really. if your boyfriend wants to sign, who cares what the audie tells him, really.

i really fell you should let him research CI's for himself, let HIM decide what is best for himself, and support his decision either way. CI's are successful(notice i didn't say cure), and they are simply another tool for a person to use should they choose to do so. even if no more than environmental sounds, least he will be aware when something around him happens.

CIs are successful meaning that everyone who has had them benefitted from them fully? I disagree....In some cases, yes they are successful but not for all. I work with children who have no benefit from their CIs. :dunno:

Deaf culture is not the be all end all for deaf people. Deaf culture can be very exclusive and downright small minded in their views about people, espically late deafened. I have no doubt at all that your friends will accept him, my friends would do the same. But wether he will become a part of the deaf culture anymore than you or I as hearing, is pretty doubtful. His views on controversial subjects will not be respected, he will hear mean things, he will deal with elitist attitudes of people who will claim he isn't "deaf enough". he will never be a native signer, and it will always be noticeable.
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Deaf culture can be small minded? That means u are referring to all Deaf people? That's wrong. Yes, there are some small minded people in the Deaf culture just as there are open minded and intelligent people in the Deaf culture. That goes for the same in the Hearing culture. :ugh3:

U are right..that is for his boyfriend to do research and make the decisions on his own. All we can is offer support and suggestions but ultimately, it will be his boyfriend who will make the final decision.
 
Cane Corso said:
Yeah, you are right about that and parents usually don't pay for the surgery. The health insurance pays for it. :ugh3:
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Wonder why most health insurance wont pay for HAs?
 
Mine did, even after all the flaming hoops the HA had no benefit to me whatsoever. I think it depends on what the insurer believes is a need for a HA to continue a productive life. I think Medicaid and Children's Medicare pays for the HAs.
 
;) Wow, Southern! Looks like there may be a reason you never even thought about that you are attracted to the Deaf community.
 
CIs are successful meaning that everyone who has had them benefitted from them fully? I disagree....In some cases, yes they are successful but not for all. I work with children who have no benefit from their CIs
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seems to me, when you dont fully understand what someone says, you make up the worse possible meaning for what they said, the most argumenative.


websters online defines successful as: resulting or terminating in success


Deaf culture can be small minded? That means u are referring to all Deaf people?
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where in my post did i refer to ALL deaf people as being small minded? again, you took the most argumentative outcome from my words and ran with it.

i simply stated :
Deaf culture can be very exclusive and downright small minded in their views about people, espically late deafened. I have no doubt at all that your friends will accept him, my friends would do the same. But wether he will become a part of the deaf culture anymore than you or I as hearing, is pretty doubtful. His views on controversial subjects will not be respected, he will hear mean things, he will deal with elitist attitudes of people who will claim he isn't "deaf enough". he will never be a native signer, and it will always be noticeable.
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take my words in the context they are given. i even stated that southerns deaf friends would accept his boyfriend with no issues, i stated mine would as well.
however, read the rest of my paragraph and i think i explained my point very well, if you still dont understand what i said, maybe someone can interpret it for you.
 
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