Moral dilemma...wwyd?

What would you rather deal with, hurt feelings or a crazy in your house?

Just let her know she's at the top of the list, and you'll be deciding in a couple of weeks after you run background checks.

I used to worry about hurting feelings more when I was younger. It took a while to grow my back bone, but now that I have it - I'm polite, but FIRM.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
This is true, but neither is the truth when it comes to drug addicted people who want to rent from you.

Also, you know, you are asking the question because you don't want to tell the truth, right? So, however you tell her that it is not available it will not be the truth, no matter how you look at it.
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This isn't about the drug addicted person that wants to rent from her. It is about Sunny not bringing herself down to the drug addicted persons level and engaging in dishonest behavior. I am not concerned about the other person. I am concerned about Sunny behaving ethically.
 
jillio said:
This isn't about the drug addicted person that wants to rent from her. It is about Sunny not bringing herself down to the drug addicted persons level and engaging in dishonest behavior. I am not concerned about the other person. I am concerned about Sunny behaving ethically.
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I am concerned about Sunny. There was no promise made to rent to this woman; only to allow her to view. Why should she act ethically? This is about a young pregnant woman looking out for herself. In that she lives in a situation where she needs to rent a room, having someone like the described renter applicant would be a possible nightmare, both financially and physically. Imagine the stress of living with this while pregnant. Politeness is not part of my book when it concerns my home and my future child.
 
Tell her the truth. You'll feel better for it I promise.
 
Sunshine said:
Why must be me give her wake up call?

I not rent room her, never. I just not want be rude tell her this! This all. Look polite way tell her, without piss her off.
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Sweetie, you're dreaming. No matter how you tell her, she's going to be pissed off. You are still thinking as if you were dealing with a perfectly rational person, and you are trying to think up a lie that sounds rational, so she won't be pissed off.

Think this thru. She is NOT rational; she is a lying, thieving, drug addict. Do you have to say that to her face? No, but you DO have to be clear that "This will not work out after all. We will not be renting this room to you."

Don't lie, because you'll get caught. Don't give a "reason," because she will come back with answers to your "reason."

You are now a broken record: "Sorry, friend of my sister, we have decided not to rent this room to you." Period. End of discussion.

Hardest thing in the world NOT to give a reason, but in this case, just - don't.
 
jillio said:
This isn't about the drug addicted person that wants to rent from her. It is about Sunny not bringing herself down to the drug addicted persons level and engaging in dishonest behavior. I am not concerned about the other person. I am concerned about Sunny behaving ethically.
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I'd love it if the world didn't contain bad people who do bad things, but it does. And, no matter how right you think behaving ethically is, it is wrong to put a person in harms way. The right thing to do is make to sure Sunny is safe because your duty lies with the person asking the question, not the integrity of all man kind.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions...
 
Sunshine said:
Well...what nice way tell her??? Not want hurt her feeling, say it because I not want rent her personally.
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I don't think someone who steals, does drugs, and has a criminal record is going to have hurt feelings. By now, it shouldn't be a shock to her that her behaviors are not welcome by a lot of people.
 
saywhatkid said:
I am concerned about Sunny. There was no promise made to rent to this woman; only to allow her to view. Why should she act ethically? This is about a young pregnant woman looking out for herself. In that she lives in a situation where she needs to rent a room, having someone like the described renter applicant would be a possible nightmare, both financially and physically. Imagine the stress of living with this while pregnant. Politeness is not part of my book when it concerns my home and my future child.
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Why should she act ethically? Because she has to live with herself. Lying doesn't come easy to most. She can turn the renter away without manufacturing a lie.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
I'd love it if the world didn't contain bad people who do bad things, but it does. And, no matter how right you think behaving ethically is, it is wrong to put a person in harms way. The right thing to do is make to sure Sunny is safe because your duty lies with the person asking the question, not the integrity of all man kind.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions...
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You don't have to make up a lie to not rent to this person. All you have to say is, "No." or "We have others to interview."
 
I think/hope that is also the safest way, but Vacation Guy is right too, that Sunny's safety is potentially at risk here too. I think her safety is probably better served by not lying, as it happens, but it doesn't mean she has to say the whole truth, either.

An expert take: Gavin de Becker's book, "The Gift of Fear." He talks a lot about trusting one's intuition about not getting involved with someone who is bad news, and he offers some very good advice about getting out of bad situations.
 
I just text her I won't be home tonight, and I need talk Dallas about whole rental situation. I text her I will text her if / when a decision made. She text back "ok thanks".

This easy? Really?
 
jillio said:
Why should she act ethically? Because she has to live with herself. Lying doesn't come easy to most. She can turn the renter away without manufacturing a lie.
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Using my method, she would not be lying. She would just not be tipping her hand to this woman by letting her know that her drug use were common knowledge. I just don't think she would blaze a wide trail of deceit and dishonesty because of this one thing.

Anyhow, seems she has made a decision. Hope it works out for the best. Gotta stick together, us ADers.
 
Beach girl said:
I think/hope that is also the safest way, but Vacation Guy is right too, that Sunny's safety is potentially at risk here too. I think her safety is probably better served by not lying, as it happens, but it doesn't mean she has to say the whole truth, either.

An expert take: Gavin de Becker's book, "The Gift of Fear." He talks a lot about trusting one's intuition about not getting involved with someone who is bad news, and he offers some very good advice about getting out of bad situations.
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Agreed, but neither does Sunny live alone. There is some degree of protection there.

In this case, just the word "No" no matter what form it comes in, is likely to be met with anger.
 
Right :) Live with big, huge boy. 6'5"! Over 300lbs. He can take some skinny little crackhead. :giggle:
 
saywhatkid said:
Using my method, she would not be lying. She would just not be tipping her hand to this woman by letting her know that her drug use were common knowledge. I just don't think she would blaze a wide trail of deceit and dishonesty because of this one thing.

Anyhow, seems she has made a decision. Hope it works out for the best. Gotta stick together, us ADers.
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I don't see any reason to bring the woman's drug use at all. I suggested simply saying "We have others to interview". Which is the truth. She will still be looking for a roommate.

My biggest objection was to creating an intentional lie, such as "Dallas decided to rent the room to his cousin." Easily caught in that one. Then you have a pissed off drug addict to deal with. More so than if she had simply been told "No."
 
jillio said:
I don't see any reason to bring the woman's drug use at all. I suggested simply saying "We have others to interview". Which is the truth. She will still be looking for a roommate.

My biggest objection was to creating an intentional lie, such as "Dallas decided to rent the room to his cousin." Easily caught in that one. Then you have a pissed off drug addict to deal with. More so than if she had simply been told "No."
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Right. Or "we are renting it to someone else" would cover that scenario. All she would care about is that it was not rented to her. I am not in favor of lying. After all, I am a Bible-reading Christian guy. I am just looking for the best way for her to avoid problems.
 
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