It's ok to be single and happy

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Sweetexpress

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Hi everyone. I am new here and slightly older than most of you. I have tried relationships and although some people tell me I just haven't found the right one, I think I am just looking for a best-friend who can be a soul-mate. One who understands me, is kind, intelligent, can carry a conversation and carry the groceries. I just recently broke off a 2 month relationship with a deaf man who, as I slowly learned, seemed to stop growing up at about age 12. I read the threads from "dilemma" and I find it very hard to match up with someone who has the same education and values that I have. Please don't misunderstand, I am no snob and one never knows what love will look like when you find it, but reading, writing and spelling abilities are kind of important to me.

Anyway, all rambling aside, I have decided to stop the search for now and consider all the wonderful things I do have....friends and family, work and the classes I am taking.

I will probably start looking again when the physical urges take over. (big smile)
 
Sweetexpress said:
Hi everyone. I am new here and slightly older than most of you. I have tried relationships and although some people tell me I just haven't found the right one, I think I am just looking for a best-friend who can be a soul-mate. One who understands me, is kind, intelligent, can carry a conversation and carry the groceries. I just recently broke off a 2 month relationship with a deaf man who, as I slowly learned, seemed to stop growing up at about age 12. I read the threads from "dilemma" and I find it very hard to match up with someone who has the same education and values that I have. Please don't misunderstand, I am no snob and one never knows what love will look like when you find it, but reading, writing and spelling abilities are kind of important to me.

Anyway, all rambling aside, I have decided to stop the search for now and consider all the wonderful things I do have....friends and family, work and the classes I am taking.

I will probably start looking again when the physical urges take over. (big smile)
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Amen, girl! I like your attitude :) Afterall, love always find you, not the other way around so might as well as stop searching and consider other things you already have :)
 
She means you don't have to worry about getting hurt....

Sweetexpress,

I too is glad to hear you have an positive attitude and there's nothing wrong of being single and enjoying the life you have now, in time, there will be someone on his way into your life then in time you will know hes the one for ya...

btw, welcome to AD ;)
 
Thank you Meg and Angel! So nice to see other positive people as well.

TTT, I do feel for you. I have read many of your posts and I understand your pain. Let me just say that it is perfectly ok to be really angry when someone has hurt you. Anger is one of those emotions that can bring about positive change in your life. It means you have said "enough is enough, I am done being treated like crap." Then you set aside time to figure out what to do to make a new YOU! We can't change the past, but we can learn from it. If we are making the wrong choices, if we are not taking care of ourselves...whatever it is...this is your time and thankfully, anger brought it out. Without it, we may have just stood in the middle of the room and said...oh well, whatever, bring on the next man! And then the same pattern repeats and repeats.

So, do whatever you need to do TTT. Take care of yourself and teke the time to figure out what YOU want. It may not seem so now, but I am sure you will be better for the experience. When you get over him, AND YOU WILL, you will wonder what the hell you ever saw in him in the first place. Just mark that in your "never again" column and move forward! ;)

These are the trials and tribulations that build our character. You are going to be just fine!
 
Marriage is a joke these days. I'm happy to be single once again and be free to swing around and live my life as I se fit.

Richard
 
I know the feeling. I'm getting older and am having a hard time finding someone to date. Right now, I rather just have a very good friend who's very open-minded and easier to do things with. I was with someone like that, but there was a major complication that didn't fit. That's why I'm single again. :(
 
VamPyroX said:
Right now, I rather just have a very good friend who's very open-minded and easier to do things with.
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Im curious about that statement. Most people tend to use " open minded" but it is all relative. What does it exactly mean????

Open minded meaning he/she is fine with dating other people too or just having sex with no commitment strings or doing all wild sexual positions without bleching or what?

So many men ask me if Im open minded but won't elaborate. It is a very broad term to begin with so I never know how to answer if they won't go into specifics?
 
Sweetexpress said:
Thank you Meg and Angel! So nice to see other positive people as well.

TTT, I do feel for you. I have read many of your posts and I understand your pain. Let me just say that it is perfectly ok to be really angry when someone has hurt you. Anger is one of those emotions that can bring about positive change in your life. It means you have said "enough is enough, I am done being treated like crap." Then you set aside time to figure out what to do to make a new YOU! We can't change the past, but we can learn from it. If we are making the wrong choices, if we are not taking care of ourselves...whatever it is...this is your time and thankfully, anger brought it out. Without it, we may have just stood in the middle of the room and said...oh well, whatever, bring on the next man! And then the same pattern repeats and repeats.

So, do whatever you need to do TTT. Take care of yourself and teke the time to figure out what YOU want. It may not seem so now, but I am sure you will be better for the experience. When you get over him, AND YOU WILL, you will wonder what the hell you ever saw in him in the first place. Just mark that in your "never again" column and move forward! ;)

These are the trials and tribulations that build our character. You are going to be just fine!
Click to expand...

Oh my goodness, youve said it all and hit the spot too! Glad youve joined our forum! I have a feeling that we will learn a lot from your wisdom :)
 
Sweetexpress said:
Hi everyone. I am new here and slightly older than most of you. I have tried relationships and although some people tell me I just haven't found the right one, I think I am just looking for a best-friend who can be a soul-mate. One who understands me, is kind, intelligent, can carry a conversation and carry the groceries. I just recently broke off a 2 month relationship with a deaf man who, as I slowly learned, seemed to stop growing up at about age 12. I read the threads from "dilemma" and I find it very hard to match up with someone who has the same education and values that I have. Please don't misunderstand, I am no snob and one never knows what love will look like when you find it, but reading, writing and spelling abilities are kind of important to me.

Anyway, all rambling aside, I have decided to stop the search for now and consider all the wonderful things I do have....friends and family, work and the classes I am taking.

I will probably start looking again when the physical urges take over. (big smile)
Click to expand...
I agree with you. It is nothing wrong to be a single. In many ways, it is good because you can focus on your own needs and wants. Or build yourself a better person. There are many possibilities for 'singles' to utilize to make themselves better people and etcetera. But one thing, I would like to have you to remember about men, not all of men are that bad... As I said in other post, yes men can be stupid at the point but not all of men are :)

btw, welcome to AD and enjoy your stay!
 
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You are right...

I do not think all men are bad, stupid or indifferent to women...but I do seem to be a magnet for those who are! :D

Some young people are fortunate enough to have it clear in their minds what they want in a life partner and seem to find just the right person. I am not sure why I couldn't figure that out until I was 47 years old, but I guess we gotta play the hand we are dealt.

The road we walk is always full of twists and turns and an occasional pothole...we just have to sidestep those and keep on walking. We all have a purpose in this life. What is wonderful is finding out what that purpose is and then finding the joy and fulfillment in it! So, maybe I wasn't meant to have a partner. Maybe I was destined for other things.

A few days ago, I saw an interview on t.v. with Isabella Rosellini the other day and she was saying how absolutely wonderful she felt to be 52 years old. She was so totally free to be herself. When the interviewer told her she was still so beautiful she said "thank you, but it really doesn't matter to me to hear that anymore." I guess with age comes wisdom and all of the things we worried about along the way become trivial...such as worrying about what other people think of us. When we are at our best, who cares what others think!

And TTT, if you do read this...please consider that if this jerk of a man hurt you so terribly and was such an absolute moron to do it without care to your feelings...than his character is worse than a slimy slug...and would you want a slimy slug to have any power whatsoever in how you feel about yourself...or your self-esteem? He's not worth another moment of your precious time and energy. You seem to be very much cared about in this forum. Don't ever let others dictate how you feel inside. And, don't look back...life is in the future! 2005 is almost here! Make it your year to shine.
 
TTT said:
Marriage sucks...

This is 2004, and it is cool to be independent.
Don't need any baggage.
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I give you an AMEN! I went thru 2 years of hell that is called marriage. Just last Saturday, I ended up with a steel-toed boot to my ribs from the ex wife. Right now im writing this post with pretty aching ribs. What a way to ruin my xmas and vacation at the same time!

<----Heading for Divorce Court in 2005. I will feel better once I get to my pre-marriage days (with a bit of change like paying child support and working 2 jobs)
 
sablescort said:
I give you an AMEN! I went thru 2 years of hell that is called marriage. Just last Saturday, I ended up with a steel-toed boot to my ribs from the ex wife. Right now im writing this post with pretty aching ribs. What a way to ruin my xmas and vacation at the same time!

<----Heading for Divorce Court in 2005. I will feel better once I get to my pre-marriage days (with a bit of change like paying child support and working 2 jobs)
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I am very sorry to hear that, Sable :( I know it is painful.
 
its painful considering when one partner dominates most of the marriage one-sided.

I had so much fun being single. Guess being married for 1st time in my 30's made it so hard to get used to the idea of being married.
 
sablescort said:
I give you an AMEN! I went thru 2 years of hell that is called marriage. Just last Saturday, I ended up with a steel-toed boot to my ribs from the ex wife. Right now im writing this post with pretty aching ribs. What a way to ruin my xmas and vacation at the same time!

<----Heading for Divorce Court in 2005. I will feel better once I get to my pre-marriage days (with a bit of change like paying child support and working 2 jobs)
Click to expand...

Ouch. That had to hurt, I've experienced getting hurt by a lot of things. But never by a steel-toed boot.

I'm sorry to hear of your marriage not working out too well, but I know you care a lot about your daughter. Your daughter does need a lot of love and support from you knowing what conditions she is in. I wish you the best for a smooth divorce and hope you get it easy on supporting your child without getting all tied up in these legal bullshit.

Have a Merry Christmas and a New Year.
 
Things will work out!!!

Sables, just have faith... and things will get better.
:)
 
Sweetexpress said:
I do not think all men are bad, stupid or indifferent to women...but I do seem to be a magnet for those who are! :D
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Maybe you can try and wear the negative-based magnet necklace to prevent that? :P

Sweetexpress said:
Some young people are fortunate enough to have it clear in their minds what they want in a life partner and seem to find just the right person. I am not sure why I couldn't figure that out until I was 47 years old, but I guess we gotta play the hand we are dealt.

The road we walk is always full of twists and turns and an occasional pothole...we just have to sidestep those and keep on walking. We all have a purpose in this life. What is wonderful is finding out what that purpose is and then finding the joy and fulfillment in it! So, maybe I wasn't meant to have a partner. Maybe I was destined for other things.

A few days ago, I saw an interview on t.v. with Isabella Rosellini the other day and she was saying how absolutely wonderful she felt to be 52 years old. She was so totally free to be herself. When the interviewer told her she was still so beautiful she said "thank you, but it really doesn't matter to me to hear that anymore." I guess with age comes wisdom and all of the things we worried about along the way become trivial...such as worrying about what other people think of us. When we are at our best, who cares what others think!

And TTT, if you do read this...please consider that if this jerk of a man hurt you so terribly and was such an absolute moron to do it without care to your feelings...than his character is worse than a slimy slug...and would you want a slimy slug to have any power whatsoever in how you feel about yourself...or your self-esteem? He's not worth another moment of your precious time and energy. You seem to be very much cared about in this forum. Don't ever let others dictate how you feel inside. And, don't look back...life is in the future! 2005 is almost here! Make it your year to shine.
Click to expand...
Yep. I know what you mean. Cheers on.
 
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