Is wanting deaf children cultural/parental?

faire_jour said:
If people here have a problem with THEIR hearing parents, they should take it up with them instead of trying to make the rest of us look like monsters. Every single parent I know loves and values their Deaf children as precious gifts. They want nothing but the best for them. They want them to become happy, heathy, successful adults. None of us would "exchange" our kids, and I believe that every single parent would find that idea disgusting. I hope that no hearing parents have to ever be insulted like that when they attempt to bring their child into the Deaf community. That would be a horrible thing, and I am sure that it would turn a parent away. I hope that, instead, the community would welcome parents with open arms instead of suggesting that they are bad parents and don't know how to care for their own child.
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Maybe this experience is personal to you. I haven't seen it. Maybe it was because my Dad was a coda but we never experienced the insults you keep talking about.

You might just possibly be bringing this on yourself.
 
Bottesini said:
Ask PowerOn about getting dumped in an orphanage and getting adopted here.
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He was dumped in an orphanage because his real parents didnt want him due to his deafness? I dont know his story as I must have missed it.
 
faire_jour said:
And as a parent, I feel the same way. I love deaf children more than anything in the world, and I would never ever disrespect those who love them the most, their families. They are the ones who, live, breathe and die for them. They are the ones who sacrifice everything to give them whatever they need. They are the ones who cry with them when they are hurt and cheer for them when the succeed. They are the ones who are there for every boo boo and every tear over a kid who makes fun of them. They are the ones helping with homework and working their butts off to make sure they get language into them (sign or spoken). And they will be the ones there every single day, forever.
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They won't. They die. And there is their English spoken language kid, lost.
 
faire_jour said:
And as a parent, I feel the same way. I love deaf children more than anything in the world, and I would never ever disrespect those who love them the most, their families. They are the ones who, live, breathe and die for them. They are the ones who sacrifice everything to give them whatever they need. They are the ones who cry with them when they are hurt and cheer for them when the succeed. They are the ones who are there for every boo boo and every tear over a kid who makes fun of them. They are the ones helping with homework and working their butts off to make sure they get language into them (sign or spoken). And they will be the ones there every single day, forever.
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I was a hoh child of hearing parents. They tried to do everything for me, they were just shut down at every turn and told "No! Don't do that for her!" At no time were my parents ever told that I might one day lose whatever hearing I had at the time. It wasn't until I was 21 that I went and found that my hearing loss would at some point become total loss. It took it's own sweet time and I used aids until they no longer helped, but I wqas never able to take any ASL classes, I was never introduced to a deaf community until just 3 years ago and more so now. I am now total deaf, my son is hoh, my daughter has an interesting hearing problem and I am working to get them into the deaf community as well, but since they are teens, I am leaving them with the choice. I will not push it onto them, but will give them the choice.

My daughter's problem is that due to her size at birth and complications, the ear was never formed properly. When they looked into her ear and checked everything, nothing is where it should be. She hears only out of one ear and even then she says the sounds are "fuzzy".
 
Bottesini said:
They won't. They die. And there is their English spoken language kid, lost.
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OOOHH ouch!

I wouldnt trade my mom at all but I wish she didnt grieve over our deafness for 20+ years. It took a toll on my brother and I. Ironically, it was when I got involved with the Deaf community, she started accepting our deafness and that we are happy.
 
shel90 said:
OOOHH ouch!

I wouldnt trade my mom at all but I wish she didnt grieve over our deafness for 20+ years. It took a toll on my brother and I. Ironically, it was when I got involved with the Deaf community, she started accepting our deafness and that we are happy.
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My dad really died.
 
shel90 said:
OOOHH ouch!

I wouldnt trade my mom at all but I wish she didnt grieve over our deafness for 20+ years. It took a toll on my brother and I. Ironically, it was when I got involved with the Deaf community, she started accepting our deafness and that we are happy.
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It is interesting to see the different circumstances we all went through!!

My parents accepted my deafness from when it was diagnosed, they got me into a deaf school for my primary years but I didn't really get involved into deaf events etc.
My mum learnt sign language when I was four, and used it for few years, just basic signs until I got the language and the ability to communicate my needs.
But now I am getting more involved and I'm feeling good to know that I can be involved into two worlds!!
 
Bottesini said:
No, when my kids were small. 20 years past.
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I am sorry about your dad even if it was a long time ago. I cant imagine what it must be like as both of my parents are still alive.
 
Lissa said:
It is interesting to see the different circumstances we all went through!!

My parents accepted my deafness from when it was diagnosed, they got me into a deaf school for my primary years but I didn't really get involved into deaf events etc.

But now I am getting more involved and I'm feeling good to know that I can be involved into two worlds!!
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Yeah me too. It is so interesting to see how the parents react to learn about their kids being Deaf.

My parents accepted me as a Deaf kid and sent me to Deaf school. My dad had a hard time learning how to sign so thats ok. My siblings are great, even though they made up different signs to communciate with me. It didn't bother me. hehe
Funny, I have always got involved with Deaf community for years until now. It gets less but I manage to keep getting involved with Deaf community as much as I can.
 
Frisky Feline said:
Yeah me too. It is so interesting to see how the parents react to learn about their kids being Deaf.

My parents accepted me as a Deaf kid and sent me to Deaf school. My dad had a hard time learning how to sign so thats ok. My siblings are great, even though they made up different signs to communciate with me. It didn't bother me. hehe
Funny, I have always got involved with Deaf community for years until now. It gets less but I manage to keep getting involved with Deaf community as much as I can.
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You and Lissa are lucky. I was always considered the poster child of a deaf child being "normal" so as a result, my parents never allowed me to interact with the Deaf community while I was growing up for fear I would become like them. They tried the same with my brother but they said he failed so they had to send him to the deaf school. By saying that, it led me to believe that by being oral was considered successful so I spent all of my life trying to be as hearing as I could so I wouldnt disappoint my parents. A heavy burden for a child to carry and I see that happening too often. It is just not fair to deaf children.
 
shel90 said:
You and Lissa are lucky. I was always considered the poster child of a deaf child being "normal" so as a result, my parents never allowed me to interact with the Deaf community while I was growing up for fear I would become like them. They tried the same with my brother but they said he failed so they had to send him to the deaf school. By saying that, it led me to believe that by being oral was considered successful so I spent all of my life trying to be as hearing as I could so I wouldnt disappoint my parents. A heavy burden for a child to carry and I see that happening too often. It is just not fair to deaf children.
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You're right, it is not fair!!

But you are great at ensuring deaf children have what they need, you work in a deaf school, you always explain how important it is for deaf children to have sign language and speech to communicate properly on here!! You are also passing on your experiences and you now know what is best for deaf children
 
shel90 said:
You and Lissa are lucky. I was always considered the poster child of a deaf child being "normal" so as a result, my parents never allowed me to interact with the Deaf community while I was growing up for fear I would become like them. They tried the same with my brother but they said he failed so they had to send him to the deaf school. By saying that, it led me to believe that by being oral was considered successful so I spent all of my life trying to be as hearing as I could so I wouldnt disappoint my parents. A heavy burden for a child to carry and I see that happening too often. It is just not fair to deaf children.
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I do feel you about it. :( Can't win with either that. Be grateful that you are Ok now. I think you have a great life with beautiful kiddos, and darling husband. oH yes the hot next door. ha

That was the reason why my hubby applied at Gallaudet in order to idenify himself that he was trying to figure out who he was until he knows now. He almost went to other hearing universities but he chose Gallaudet as his first time enrolled to Deaf school.
 
Some parents abandon perfectly healthy children. It's even more common when there is an issue like deafness. Head down to your family law court any day and you'll see the problems. Adoptions are the happy exception.

A parent can quickly adopt a special needs child (including deaf) from overseas. The adoption ministries will expedite the paperwork. Why do you think that these children are available? In some cultures, deafness is a defect that is not accepted.
 
Bottesini said:
Maybe this experience is personal to you. I haven't seen it. Maybe it was because my Dad was a coda but we never experienced the insults you keep talking about.

You might just possibly be bringing this on yourself.
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In this thread it has been said that deaf people should exchange their hearing children with hearing parents of deaf kids, AND that someone wished that 90% of deaf kids were born to deaf parents instead of hearing parents. These things aren't directed at ME, but at all hearing parents.
 
sallylou said:
Some parents abandon perfectly healthy children. It's even more common when there is an issue like deafness. Head down to your family law court any day and you'll see the problems. Adoptions are the happy exception.

A parent can quickly adopt a special needs child (including deaf) from overseas. The adoption ministries will expedite the paperwork. Why do you think that these children are available? In some cultures, deafness is a defect that is not accepted.
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I think that there are millions of kids who need adopted worldwide and some of them happen to be deaf, and some have handicaps, and some have no differences at all.
 
faire_jour said:
In this thread it has been said that deaf people should exchange their hearing children with hearing parents of deaf kids, AND that someone wished that 90% of deaf kids were born to deaf parents instead of hearing parents. These things aren't directed at ME, but at all hearing parents.
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Oh no it was not directed at you!!!

Deaf parents protested that one big time.

Such narcissism!! :barf:
 
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