Is spanking on the kids belong kind of abuse?

[GalaxyAngel]

I do spank my children too only if it is necessary (on certain behavior) , Other than that I would discipline them by taking away their privileges, such as TV's, their video games or their favorite toys. My children need to know boundaries, bed time, when to come home when was told to come home. And I also do time-outs and grounded. I also reward them on good behaviors.

But, I do disapprove of corporal punishment at schools, As a mother I feel that it's my job to punish my own children. I don't believe that school teachers or principal have the right to spank my children at school. If my children's behavior is unacceptable, I only want them to make a phone call to me, And I will pick them up right away. I'm glad that my children's school system doesn't approve corporal punishment, If they have 3 warnings, the teacher makes a phone call to home. Both of my boys are aware of that. And they're never behave badly at school. (Thanks God)

I know every parent are different how they raise their children, and How they use their discipline ways. It doesn't make them bad parents at all. And It doesn't make me a bad mother either. I only consider abuse when an object is used on a child or children. (which I believe that is unacceptable)

Cheri,

I didn't know that your state school teacher or prinpical may allowed spank their child(s) ?

Actually I'm very quite surprised.. Really seriouis ?
Teacher or prinpical have no rights spank their child(s) that abuse!
*goosebumps*
If suppose happends to my child any kinds strikes.. I'll call police right away, I don't care what the person who done to my child..

 

[Cheri]

Cheri,

I didn't know that your state school teacher or prinpical may allowed spank their child(s) ?

no no no hun. If you re-read my post again I said

I'm glad that my children's school system doesn't approve corporal punishment,

Therefore they don't support it, But, Yes in Ohio some schools do have Corporal punishment like my Junior High that I mention above.

 

[GalaxyAngel]

no no no hun. If you re-read my post again I said

Therefore they don't support it, But, Yes in Ohio some schools do have Corporal punishment like my Junior High that I mention above.

*rubbing my eyes* My apolyize.. wasn't even pay attention carefully but still scary out there some of school who allows spank their child...

*goosebumps*

Thanks Cheri for re-correcting me.

 

[Cheri]

*rubbing my eyes* My apolyize.. wasn't even pay attention carefully but still scary out there some of school who allows spank their child...

*goosebumps*

Thanks Cheri for re-correcting me.

No problem sweetie.

 

[Eve]

You have a right to accept anyone's point. However, Eve just talks too much....

At least what I say is intelligible.

 

[JeepGirl]

my daughter's school does accept corporal punishments.. I had to write to give permission for them to paddle my child.. I said no.. They have to call me in first and discuss what's happening.. So far.. I haven't gotten any calls and plus my daughter is doing real good

 

[Liebling:-)))]

No, you have the sequence backwards. She showed disrespect to her mom first. She didn't "lose" respect for her. She didn't show respect for mom in the first place.

Like what I said in my previous post.
It's not first time that Luckysmile receive her mother's form of discplinie that how lead her disrespect her for that.

Originally Posted by Liebling))
No Wonder, that she lost her respect on her mother due her form of discpline.

When they are developmentally ready for reasoning. A two-year-old doesn't understand the physics of fire, or the life-time consequences of wrong choices. Sometimes the parent can't explain a reason for a decision because of privacy issues, or things that are too deep for a child to comprehend. Sometimes the child will just have to accept "No!"

I think I respond your question in my previous post about my form of discipline to 2 years old is show them the example and let them curious to new world.... handle toddlers belong patience.

Well we are here to talk the example about Luckysmile as child, not toddler since you mentioned her in your post.
Yes the children deserve an explanation why they can't have or why they should not.... What I said children, not toddler. Like what I said... it's depend on form of parent's discplinie how turn the children into kind of behavor.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

1.

so you just assume that ALL spanking is abuse. Well, it’s not, Miss Know-It-All.

Don't get upset because we have different POV as you. Yes, we consider spanking as an abuse and also most links, too. No matter what but it's still "hurt" is "hurt" thru hand, period.


3.

I promise not to go throw a spoiled brat temper tantrum because of it.

Good


4.

No, but when you start throwing insults, expect them to come back at you.

I has no idea what you talking about.

I expect anyone for their opinion, feedback, tips, agreement to disagreement respectful in my thread as the same example as parent conferences, parent meeting, etc with NO bashing, insulting, disrespectful, judgement etc. What's this forum for?

We have interesting debate with plenty of tips at parent conferences, parent meetings, with NO insult, bashing, disrespect etc like what you did here because we all are open mind & straighttalker until I saw your behavior here for first time, that's just because you don't like my respectfully disagree on some of your posts.

Check my links at my post of number- 11.


5.

Yeah and I have documented proof (witnesses, evidence, police reports, criminal charges pressed against her, etc). Where is Luckysmile23’s proof?

We are not interesting to see the origninal proof of your documented etc but show our respect on you and your posts.

Why should we need any proof to show you the truth? It shows that no respect on you but judgement.
We don't have to show you the proof that we tell you the truth. If you don't beleive us then is your problem. Simple ignore Luckysmile's post if you don't beleive her instead of criticism/judge her post in disrespectful way.

6.

Yes, you have disrespected me and others by referring to our parenting techniques as abusive. Yet, you refuse to acknowledge your own issues. You would rather throw the attention on to me than face up to your own problems.

I has no idea what you are talking about.

I disagree with your post doesn't mean that I disrespect you. I see nothing wrong that I disagree with you. I has no idea why you consider my disagree as disrespect.

I have no problem to debate with anyone here in my thread with agree to disagree respectful. I think I already told anyone here about myself and my family here in my thread. It's not my problem whatever you think. Simple is leave my thread if you don't like my thread.

7.

Not a name, an ACTION. And an accurate description at that.

It make no difference...

8.

As the thread starter, you are welcome to close this biased topic, but you do not have the right to tell anyone how to post or where they may or may not post.

Yes, I'm creator and welcome anyone to post with agree/disagree respectful what I mentioned in my first thread.
http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=378846&postcount=1
I has the right to ask you to respect my thread or leave my thread if you don't like it.
I can report Admin. and moderator for your disrespectful on my thread because I don't want you to mess/spoil my good thread where the people are interesting to share their posts with us with no complication. Please respect my thread or leave my thread alone.

9.

I showed you 3.

10.

Yup, it’s me….

Yeah, I know. No wonder that you has the problem with anyone is your behavior.

11.

You are more than welcome to your different opinions, but you open yourself up to criticism when you go attacking my/others parenting. So suck it up. Those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

me attacking you or others? Nobody here but you.
I didn't know that I attack you? I only know where you and I debate in our posts but I can't find where I attack you
http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=378963&postcount=21
http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=379894&postcount=36
http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=380562&postcount=44

http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=381184&postcount=47
I see nothing wrong to disagree with your view over Luckysmile with subject "apologise" because I has different POV. Is it harm?

http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=381403&postcount=49



12.

I’m not the only one who has a problem with your accusations either. Refer back to Reba and cookiemonster’s posts for example.

I has no problem to debate with Reba and cookiemonster with agree to disagree respectful but you because they are open mind. I can see the problem is you can't control your temper because you don't like my & others opinions. Like what I said before that you are a diffuiclt person to debate with agree to disagree in respectful way because you want everything be right and want us to agree with you all the time. You would not say anything if I agree to your post. I am allow to agree to disagree with anyone in any threads whatever I like. It's not my problem if you don't like it. You can't expect me to change my opinion about spanking as abuse like what I question people in my topic. "Is spanking on the kids belong kind of abuse"? which it means QUESTION with discussion, feedback, tips, opinions, etc, not judgement. It can tell it's judgement if I create "Caution: Spanking on the kids as kind of abuse" on the subject of my thread without ask people question means is disrespectful and judgement but I didn't.
Check my first post carefully.
http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=378846&postcount=1

I'm sorry that you don't like it but I stand with my own opinion and see spanking as form of abuse like what links stated, of course parent meeting, cousellor, parent conference etc. It's my decision to agree that spanking as form of abuse after learn alot from the tips and has to give them right. It's very simple to leave my thread if you don't like my thread.

13.

Why don’t YOU leave the thread, cuz I’m not going anywhere.

It's the best proof that you didn't know how to respect anyone and their posts. It's my thread, I expect anyone's feedback, tips, agree, disagree, why, etc. etc., not bashing, insulting, name-callings, etc. I can report you to Admin. and Moderator because it's my thread.

14.

And why should they take your posts as serious? I have as much input as you do, but you are the one who began pointing fingers.

You see yourself how you upset people here. I'm creator and respect the people who made their posts in my thread. I see no problem if anyone debated with agree to disagree each other because they are adult but disrespectful, insult, judgement etc? No Way, Disrespectful, Judgement, insult, etc. are not acceptance in my thread. The reason I ask them to not take your posts as personal/serious.

I show my respect to response on most of members's posts here and also share with their posts, too.



15.

And once again, I didn’t call you any names whatsoever either, I labeled your behavior, not you.

No matter what... you show your rude behavior toward them which it show disrespectful and judgement. It show that you didn't know how to behavior in manner way.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

mld4ds, Eve's credibility looks much better than yours each time you post.

Sorry I has to disagree with you here. I didn't see Eve's credibility here but her rude behavior toward members.

Reba:
Sometimes the child will just have to accept "No!"

Yes, that's right the children have to learn to accept "No" from the parents but it's important to explain them the reason why the parents say "No". It belongs sort of patience... but it's opposite to "promise". I'm one who has to apology my children for let them down if I break my promise on them... This is a difference.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

But, Cookie Monster, why do you think it is neccessary at all.

First of all you must take under consideration that the little kids have no way to comprehend what may happen if they run into a street. They may look like they do but really doesn't. Not like you or me.

You may explain over and over until you are blue in the face- it's beyond their level of truly understanding...
and the kids tend to forget easily what they were or weren't supposed to do.
It only understand - no or yes.

Second of all, if you know your child tends to dart into traffic, you should never, ever EVER let the kid be unattened and free while close to traffic.
Always hold the kid's hand or take the kid in your hands to prevent it in the first place. Prevention is the best to avoid lots of problems in the first place. And therefore, spanking too.

Always remind the kid with strong NO! when the kid attempts to run away from you, unless running is allowed. Grab the kid before it gets away from you. Tell him "if you do it one more time, we're going back home". But DO go back home if the child doesn't obey.

It'll learn. It'll take time, and many repeats (and nerves) on your part, but it will.
Older kids do not run into traffic, because their level of understanding is higher than those of say 2 y.old. Not becaue they were spanked..

Fuzzy

it belong kind of patience to deal with toddlers in example ways.


Your post, Luckysmile
http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=382426&postcount=117

I'm not surprised after read your posts... I know an exactly how you lost your respect on your mother due form of her disciplinie. I'm the same position as you. I'm very sorry what you had through like what Bullymom's post....

It's sad that some of members have no idea why we consider spanking as abuse but accussed us as disrespect, judgement, no proofs etc. We know what hurt alike... it's terrible... No wonder why you lost your respect and no love feeling toward your mother because I know what it alike. Yes, I beleive you in first place because the description of your feeling toward your mother is exact same as me. Look at Bullym0m... No wonder that she lost respect on her adoptive parents, too. It's very very very sad.

Just so you know, my dad did beat me ONCE. It scared the shit out of him and he never laid a hand on me after that. I also was abused by my previous spouse to the point I was nearly killed. The police still have my photos for domestic abuse prevention presentations. However, this was enough to show me that there is a very distinct difference between abuse and a spanking. You obviously didn’t have the privilege of experiencing both ends of the spectrum, so you just assume that ALL spanking is abuse.

I'm sorry what you had been through. You are not only one who had been through, also us, too. I know what's alike because I withnessed that my mother was beaten up by 3 husbands. She almost killed by her 2nd husband. I also was beat by my ex-boyfriend, too. This is hurtful... it's same as spanking... because we are hurt to being punish by them. I know there're difference between domestic abuse and spanking but it is still belong to form of abuse.

I can understand where you come from but there're nothing change with my opinion because "hurt" is "hurt" no matter what/how we receive form of abuse. but still hurt. "Hurt" means is an abuse. It's my opinion.

Thank you again for share your posts here Luckysmile, Eve and Bullym0m.

 

[Opal]

Sure, my parents were strict, as they have gone too far, they beat me up and smack me until I am red and raw, but there is also other ways I was happy living with them too, I much rather to remember the good times I had with them and block out the negatives about bad things I had share with my parents, otherwise some of you will need counselling to get it over.

Everyone had good and bad times in their lives.

My ex-boyfriend also slam my face and shake my arms violently because I told him I want to end the relationship with him!!!!

I survived!

 

[Liebling:-)))]

PS.

I just wanted to add that children, regardless of age but yeah especcially little kids, can throughout one single day do a hundred things you'll want to spank them for.
Starting with waking you up at 5 am hungry and boring whereas you at this time can hardly remember who's that kid

Having kids is really trying.
One thing I often hear when I ask what did you learn since you've became a parent is - PATIENCE.
Also, as a parent, you develop certain resistance to many annoying things that childless people can't stand - for example the constant moving .. have you ever notice how little children are never STILL- they constantly move like little devils, even in their sleep .
And they talk or sing or cry, or just plain make noise incessantly (in this case I am thankful for my deafness ).
They ask endless questions, they want to play all the time, they want to drink, they want to eat, they want to pee, they want cookie before dinner - waaaaaaaaah, they want to go out and play in the freezing rain, they want to poo -oops, too late, they want to play patty cake with you during latest CSI, they want to pee again, they want to drink, they want to they want to they want to...!

And they get into mischiefs all the time because of their natural curiosty.
I've lost once a 30$ new Shiseido foundation (a B-day gift) in one day because I didn't realise the kids were playin make-up in the bathroom... half of the neighbouring kids were once wearin' 30$ foundation years ago

Oh yeah- if there is peace and quiet in the house BEWARE !!! it's NOT GOOD!!
be prepared for the worst.

You of course can forbide your kid to play with your makeup - they'll remember that for a week or so.. and you should be happy!


Really, there is a always something that the kid can be spanked for- all day long and everyday...

You CAN raise a good kid w/o spanking.

Fuzzy

Very true....
It's normal... nobody expect that the toddler/small children are good as angel... All what we do is show them wrong or right way... it's normal for them to curious anything... Let them... Important is the parents are there for them... to make sure their safety...

I started to ground my children when they grow out from toddler time, that's they start to learn what right or wrong...

Bullym0m's post:
Thank you very much for comment.. That's okay Deeply..

Yes, Last time, I saw my mother 2 years ago as same my sister too.
I'm glad I've found my birth mother and birth siblings too from 2 years ago.

I'm really glad that you are happy to find your natural mother and siblings at last...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Sure, my parents were strict, as they have gone too far, they beat me up and smack me until I am red and raw, but there is also other ways I was happy living with them too, I much rather to remember the good times I had with them and block out the negatives about bad things I had share with my parents, otherwise some of you will need counselling to get it over.

Everyone had good and bad times in their lives.

My ex-boyfriend also slam my face and shake my arms violently because I told him I want to end the relationship with him!!!!

I survived!

Yeah I remember your story how suffer & unhappy you was... How you feel etc. I don't blame you for not forget how you had been through due their form of disciplinie. ..... I know it's not very easy to rid those scar in the memory and also hurt emotionally too.

Yes, we move on to start our new life what we are happy with like what you move out to start a new life in other country and happy with it but you can't expect that we forget everything 100% and throw our past into garbage. The scar always are there bit which it's not very easy for us but we did well to forward to have new life.

We are here to share our experiences and why we beleive spanking belong "form" of abuse and why we refuse to hurt our children etc. I can't see anything wrong that anyone share their experiences here with us. There're only question either spanking belong form of abuse or not, that's all. I see no problem if anyone do not consider spanking as abuse. Remember that everyone are different.

 

[Eve]

Simple is not visit my thread.

Wrong answer. How about you not visit your thread? Or how about you not start an obviously controversial topic if you can’t handle the backlash?

I has no idea what you talking about.

Of course you don’t (despite me posting 3 blatant examples in my previous post).

I expect anyone for their opinion, feedback, tips, agreement to disagreement respectful in my thread as the same example as parent conferences, parent meeting, etc with NO bashing, insulting, disrespectful, judgement etc. What's this forum for?

Then start following your own advice and maybe others would too.

We have interesting debate with plenty of tips at parent conferences, parent meetings, with NO insult, bashing, disrespect etc like what you did here because we all are open mind & straighttalker until I saw your behavior here for first time, that's just because you don't like my respectfully disagree on some of your posts.

You didn’t respectfully anything. You are the one who can’t handle a debate. If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen!

We are not interesting to see the origninal proof of your documented etc but show our respect on you and your posts.

Funny, you asked for the difference between my situation and Luckysmiles, I provided you with a reason and that still isn’t good enough for you. *shrugs* Some people don’t recognize a snake even when it bites them in the ass.

I has no idea what you are talking about.

Again, I repeat, OF COURSE NOT (DESPITE THE 3 EXAMPLES I PROVIDED IN AN EARLIER POST).

I disagree with your post doesn't mean that I disrespect you. I see nothing wrong that I disagree with you. I has no idea why you consider my disagree as disrespect.

You call me “abusive” and then complain if I return the favor by calling you a “Parenting Nazi” (yeah, I said it, now you can accuse me of name-calling). Now tell me, what’s the difference?

I can report Admin. and moderator for your disrespectful on my thread because I don't want you to mess/spoil my good thread where the people are interesting to share their posts with us with no complication. Please respect my thread or leave my thread alone.

And we could do the same for you starting a thread accusing many members of being abusive. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

I has no problem to debate with Reba and cookiemonster with agree to disagree respectful but you because they are open mind. I can see the problem is you can't control your temper because you don't like my & others opinions.

Funny, they seem to be saying the same thing I am, so maybe the problem here is that you have a problem with me personally from past situations where I called you a liar in another forum. I do NOT pussyfoot around any situation. I call a spade a spade and let the truth be my guide.

No matter what... you show your rude behavior toward them which it show disrespectful and judgement.

Respect is a 2-way street. You have to show it to receive it, and you have yet to do so.


As I said before, you don’t have to agree with my parenting, but I don’t have to tolerate you belittling me for it either. I don’t degrade you for not disciplining your children in the same manner I discipline mine.

 

[GalaxyAngel]

EVE,

Will you chill out and shudd'up.

You have no rights speaking like that to everyone..


THAT'S ENOUGH!!!!

*sigh* ((ahem))
Made me cap lid off.. shortly! Geez, You have TOTALLY ZERO respect anyone who speak their own pov but you kept critiztie them contuine.. Why can't you have respect them ? They are not going respect you at all 110%

I recommend you need take... which one do you prefer take....

or

or

Help you better ease your tenison!

-bye-

 

[Eve]

You know what is more abusive than a spanking? No discipline at all.

Will you chill out and shudd'up.

Will you?

You have no rights speaking like that to everyone..

I have as much right as the next person.

THAT'S ENOUGH!!!!

So shudd’up already.

Why can't you have respect them ? They are not going respect you at all 110%

So what makes you think I have to show them respect when they aren’t showing it?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

*sigh* I feel sorry for you, Eve.

You just can´t see that I has no problem to debate with agree to disagree wiht anyone here.

No wonder, you cause to mess my good thread here... *shake the head*

 

[LinuxGold]

Please guys, do not slander each other. If this continues, the I will be forced to lock this thread. Please focus into the point of thread.

Thanks.


Scott

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Thank you for quick respond on my report, LinuxGold. I appreciate it very much because I dont want to let anyone to mess my good thread here.

 

[Eve]

You just can´t see that I has no problem to debate with agree to disagree wiht anyone here.

No wonder, you cause to mess my good thread here... *shake the head*

If you are really concerned with your precious thread, I suggest we both take LG's advice and get back on topic rather than belittling one another. Try some respect and I might too.