Is it Offensive to Talk while among a Deaf crowd?

How's this for a guideline? Be considerate and make people feel comfortable and included in social situations. This would cover the rude cell phone users, those who ignore people who can't hear/can't sign (depending on the situation), people who fail to introduce themselves to others in social settings, etc. Be kind. Don't be a self absorbed asshat. Always take a host gift and thank you host. Social skills matter. How's that for motherly advice?
 
kokonut said:
. . . I'm talking about hard of hearing or those who are deaf who wear cochlear implant, for example. Deaf people shouldn't get upset over a deaf/hh person communication preference with another deaf/hh person. When it comes to using a particular mode communication (whether they know sign language or not) to talk and converse it is their right to do so. Even if it means at Deaf chat places, too. After all, who says that Deaf people have the right to regulate "proper mode of communication" in a public setting? They don't. We don't know the circumstances and the reason for talking instead of signing. And really, it's nobody's business since it's in a public setting.
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Precisely! I heard once at a deaf meeting that two people were scolded by one deaf guy for not signing. I'd probably tell the guy to buzz off. At the same time, a hearing person who told me that I wasn't deaf just got the brushoff by me (I was in character after a performance, so I couldn't respond more than to say that I am, indeed, deaf).
 
kokonut said:
You're quite right. It's really none of their business how you conduct your calls on your cell phone in an open, public setting by yourself. Just as I receive or make calls on my cell phone when I was on the campus of Gallaudet Univ inside a bldg near the eatery place. What am I gonna do? Run into some dark corner out of fear that I might offend a few people? Nah.
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Funny! :giggle: I was approached one time on campus at Minnesota State University Moorhead by a deaf/hoh woman who greeted me. As I told her my name, she said she knew who I am and proceeded to tell me that the reason the deaf community in Fargo/Moorhead do not talk to me is because I'm "too oral." :roll: I had one year of asl, as it was required for my major, which I since changed and graduated with a degree in Communication Studies instead of Pre-Audiology.

What a bunch of clods! Yet, when I came to the Signing Santa that year, I only met one deaf guy and everyone else had "the cat that swallowed the canary" look. When I left, I patted Snickers, telling her she did a good job and busted out laughing at the group and how they tried to save face in there. :laugh2:
 
pek1 said:
Funny! :giggle: I was approached one time on campus at Minnesota State University Moorhead by a deaf/hoh woman who greeted me. As I told her my name, she said she knew who I am and proceeded to tell me that the reason the deaf community in Fargo/Moorhead do not talk to me is because I'm "too oral." :roll: I had one year of asl, as it was required for my major, which I since changed and graduated with a degree in Communication Studies instead of Pre-Audiology.

What a bunch of clods! Yet, when I came to the Signing Santa that year, I only met one deaf guy and everyone else had "the cat that swallowed the canary" look. When I left, I patted Snickers, telling her she did a good job and busted out laughing at the group and how they tried to save face in there. :laugh2:
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you sure it's because you're "too oral," not your abrasive personality? :hmm:
 
I think it is offensive if they try to social with a bunch of deaf people but don't bother to try signing at all. I would prefer to understand what they say. If they don't social with a bunch of deaf people and talking, then no. I don't consider it is an offensive. I'm personally under the impression that some people (even deafies too) dislike deaf people and are support cure for deafness, and are against signing for deaf babies. :|
 
KarissaMann05 said:
I think it is offensive if they try to social with a bunch of deaf people but don't bother to try signing at all. I would prefer to understand what they say. If they don't social with a bunch of deaf people and talking, then no. I don't consider it is an offensive. I'm personally under the impression that some people (even deafies too) dislike deaf people and are support cure for deafness, and are against signing for deaf babies. :|
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What surprises me is the hatred for the Deaf community as if we all are one person! Geez!
 
I have a deaf friend who doesnt know any sign language so if we go to a Deaf social, it is because she wants to learn ASL but of course there will be times, we will talk without signing because she doesnt know ANY so if people get mad at us for that, oh well. However, most of the time people in the Deaf community around here in MD dont really give a shit. They are too busy having fun socializing with their friends to waste their time getting upset by what a few people do. I guess it seems like the Deaf communities in other states are different. :dunno:
 
shel90 said:
I have a deaf friend who doesnt know any sign language so if we go to a Deaf social, it is because she wants to learn ASL but of course there will be times, we will talk without signing because she doesnt know ANY so if people get mad at us for that, oh well. However, most of the time people in the Deaf community around here in MD dont really give a shit. They are too busy having fun socializing with their friends to waste their time getting upset by what a few people do. I guess it seems like the Deaf communities in other states are different. :dunno:
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:lol: It's kinda of same here, too.
 
pek1 said:
Funny! :giggle: I was approached one time on campus at Minnesota State University Moorhead by a deaf/hoh woman who greeted me. As I told her my name, she said she knew who I am and proceeded to tell me that the reason the deaf community in Fargo/Moorhead do not talk to me is because I'm "too oral." :roll: I had one year of asl, as it was required for my major, which I since changed and graduated with a degree in Communication Studies instead of Pre-Audiology.

What a bunch of clods! Yet, when I came to the Signing Santa that year, I only met one deaf guy and everyone else had "the cat that swallowed the canary" look. When I left, I patted Snickers, telling her she did a good job and busted out laughing at the group and how they tried to save face in there. :laugh2:
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If that was the case as you have described then that sure looks like Deaf elitism at its best.
 
Again, the point seems to be that the d/hh people in question did not COME for a Deaf social, they just happened upon a group of Deaf people. If they don't want to communicate with anyone in the group, whether or not they have HAs/CIs, SO WHAT. If they don't know anyone in the group none of the Deaf people will come up and talk to them (most likely) anyway. I can't see that actually offending anyone, but I guess you never know.

HOWEVER, if one or both of them were to engage in a signed conversation with another Deaf person/people there and then started talking and excluding someone who is actively involved in the conversation, yes that would be obviously rude, (assuming all know sign).

I think a trickier question is what if another deaf person from the social event approaches them speaking, and then a 4th person, who doesn't speak/lipread well approaches them? I believe at that point, if everyone in the group knows sign, you should sign. But here may be where the true argument lies.
 
signer16 said:
HOWEVER, if one or both of them were to engage in a signed conversation with another Deaf person/people there and then started talking and excluding someone who is actively involved in the conversation, yes that would be obviously rude, (assuming all know sign).
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I agree with this.

signer16 said:
I think a trickier question is what if another deaf person from the social event approaches them speaking, and then a 4th person, who doesn't speak/lipread well approaches them? I believe at that point, if everyone in the group knows sign, you should sign. But here may be where the true argument lies.
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The important thing here is "if". Supposing only two of them sign and can't talk, should they write to both people?
 
That's fine and I agree what most of you guys are saying but I'm saying from the perspective of seeing two deaf/hh people with their hearing aid or cochlear implant (visibly seen) sitting and talking (not signing but talking) to each other in an open public place which happens to have a bunch of Deaf people there at the time. Would it even matter if they knew sign but prefer to talk anyway? It should not matter at all in this situation because it's really none of the Deaf people business anymore than two couples who only speaks Spanish sit in a public eatery place full of English speaking people.
 
kokonut said:
That's fine and I agree what most of you guys are saying but I'm saying from the perspective of seeing two deaf/hh people with their hearing aid or cochlear implant (visibly seen) sitting and talking (not signing but talking) to each other in an open public place which happens to have a bunch of Deaf people there at the time. Would it even matter if they knew sign but prefer to talk anyway? It should not matter at all in this situation because it's really none of the Deaf people business anymore than two couples who only speaks Spanish sit in a public eatery place full of English speaking people.
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I agree with your view here.
 
kokonut said:
That's fine and I agree what most of you guys are saying but I'm saying from the perspective of seeing two deaf/hh people with their hearing aid or cochlear implant (visibly seen) sitting and talking (not signing but talking) to each other in an open public place which happens to have a bunch of Deaf people there at the time. Would it even matter if they knew sign but prefer to talk anyway? It should not matter at all in this situation because it's really none of the Deaf people business anymore than two couples who only speaks Spanish sit in a public eatery place full of English speaking people.
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I agree...
 
It seems to me it would work the same way as if we were dealing with two spoken languages. If two Spanish speaking people come to a restaurant and there is a social event going on in Spanish where there are people who do not know English, they can join and speak Spanish. It would be rude for them to be part of the social and speak English as a form of being exclusive or secretive. Likewise it would be rude to use spoken English with the intent of being exclusive or secretive. If English just happens to be the more natural language between the two speakers, then it's not rude.
 
CJB said:
It seems to me it would work the same way as if we were dealing with two spoken languages. If two Spanish speaking people come to a restaurant and there is a social event going on in Spanish where there are people who do not know English, they can join and speak Spanish. It would be rude for them to be part of the social and speak English as a form of being exclusive or secretive. Likewise it would be rude to use spoken English with the intent of being exclusive or secretive. If English just happens to be the more natural language between the two speakers, then it's not rude.
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How would it be rude if you don't know for sure? The point is they are not a part of the social scene. That's the end of it. Doesn't matter if they're fluent in ASL or not and prefer to talk instead.
 
kokonut said:
How would it be rude if you don't know for sure? The point is they are not a part of the social scene. That's the end of it. Doesn't matter if they're fluent in ASL or not and prefer to talk instead.
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That's what I'm saying, is if they were part of the social it would be rude. If they weren't, then it's not rude. :)
 
Ok.

Now, same scenario except on the campus of Gallaudet University. Two deaf/hh people either with hh or CI sitting at a table at the Market Place "food court" eating and talking (not signing) with each other. Offensive or not? Rude?
 
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