Is it good or not?

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Vance

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I had this discussion with few of AD'ers... it got me wonder... Is it good for me to not share about myself with any women thru online, phone or letters because I want them to judge me based on their own views instead of my words? You know how it is... Men (included women) can be exaggerating about themselves in some points. I know I wouldn't lie to any women who have the interests in me. I see no benefits in lying or exaggerating so naturally, I wouldn't.. but well, you know, sometimes people define themselves different than other people and their views. So is it good for me not to share about myself until I meet a woman, any woman, and allow her/them to judge me based on their views once they engage me in communications and activities than allowing me to share about myself with them?

Of course, I am willing to yakking with them thru letter, phone or online to let them to get the general idea about me but not any more than that. Well, what do you think?

Edit: btw, this is hypothetically question/topic.
 
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Just be honest and be yourself. Don't mislead them in anyway. Only share what you are comfortable sharing.
 
If you're talking about expressing yourself deeply, that's probably best if done later. I'd rather meet the other person online and get to know them better. After knowing them more, I'd then get a better feeling of expressing myself deeper. Of course, I won't get too deep... cuz I haven't actually met that person in real life.
 
For my opinion. It is actually up to people if they're comfortable and feel confidence enough to share their experiences/stories as long as u're confidence enough, if you are not confidence enough then don't share until u really feel ready to share. Vampy have a good point too. but of course its up to the people, we all have different opinions. but for me... it depends on how much i know this person and feel confidence. But it's good to share just a little basic experiences but nothing deep until u feel ready or not. Pretty much, i prefer to wait in person til i know this person better if i'm comfortable around or I known this person for pretty long time online, i might, i might not. I dont really notice myself if i ever have talked deep experiences or not?? *shrugs* i'm sure u get the idea.
 
all i can suggest is be honest above all -- if u are honest with urself then u are honest with others -- if a person starts out lying and their lies can increase over time spinning a web of deceit it would lead to problems bigger than ur own and unable to get it under control -- u do NOT need to give deep info abt urself at first meeting online or for the next however long it takes -- just get to know one another on a neutral but honest levels and when the trust is built (if any) then some deep info can be shared too -- this is what i would do personally cuz i dont trust ppl that fast -- some ppl thinks im "cold" to that -- its not the point -- the big point for me is TRUST if a person is found not to be trusted why should i give trust if its supposed to be earned q
 
Im not quite sure what you are asking, Magastu but I will answer anyway. You said that you don't want to share anything except your views. Do you mean views of politics, current events and whatnots? Do you mean you don't want to reveal anything about your feelings/personal things as you want them to know you only on superficial level?

People online can be different in real life especially these who keep saying who they are. These who keep telling me who they are are the ones I do not trust because why are they trying so hard to earn my trust? It makes me suspicious. But there are some other people that you feel immediate click with and cannot help revealing a lot about oneself because there is a feeling of trust but then again it can be deceiving in some cases. Therefore, it is best to take everything with a grain of salt and be honest.

I've had a few men wanting to pursue a relationship after meeting me online but I always make it clear that I cannot relocate or promise anything unless we have met because people can quite be different in real life - we do not see their mannerisms, catch them off unguarded, see how they treat their family and friends or facial expressions online.

Bottom line - it is okay to share some about yourself because how else can someone get to know you on a personal level but not too much that they can take advantage of trust.
 
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Meg said:
Im not quite sure what you are asking, Magastu but I will answer anyway. You said that you don't want to share anything except your views. Do you mean views of politics, current events and whatnots? Do you mean you don't want to reveal anything about your feelings/personal things as you want them to know you only on superficial level?

People online can be different in real life especially these who keep saying who they are. These who keep telling me who they are are the ones I do not trust because why are they trying so hard to earn my trust? It makes me suspicious. But there are some other people that you feel immediate click with and cannot help revealing a lot about oneself because there is a feeling of trust but then again it can be deceiving in some cases. Therefore, it is best to take everything with a grain of salt and be honest.

I've had a few men wanting to pursue a relationship after meeting me online but I always make it clear that I cannot relocate or promise anything unless we have met because people can quite be different in real life - we do not see their mannerisms, catch them off guarded or facial expressions online.

Bottom line - it is okay to share some about yourself because how else can someone get to know you on a personal level but not too much that they can take advantage of trust.
Click to expand...

:thumb: BOOTIFULLY said Meg!!!!! i couldnt have said it better!
 
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