I Won't Fight Cancer Again

Wirelessly posted (droid)

You're very brave. I'm sorry that you must be brave now. I hope that you stay in remission a long time. Hugs to you.
 
deafbajagal,

it really broke my heart reading this. i am so glad you beat that wretched disease and i truly believe you will stay strong for a long time. you and your girls will be in my prayers

remember you are not alone at all, we are all here to support you

xo xo :hug:
 
:hug: I never knew your story about cancer. I surely hope you take each day by day. You battled it and survived, think of the good points out of it, and you are here with us, and take time to tell loved ones ILY even if they are apart in different states, like a friend told me, "life is short" for all of us! Sometimes, we have to be the bigger person in our families to reach out , you know :)

 
deafbajagal,
You know you're a fighter in every sense of the word. You know what it's like to go into battle, and you do it with your head held high. I feel incredibly blessed to have gotten to know you the last couple of years and moreso, I feel privileged to call you my friend. I understand that you're not giving up the will to live, your'e just simply letting go of the struggles and you have decided on a quality life rather than a quantity life. It's my belief that a person's life isn't measured in lengths, it is measured in abundance. You have life abundantly and that is wonderful. You have your girls, they love you to the moon and back and I know that if they could, they too would pour more sand in your hourglass.

Please hang in there and know there is a lot of people here that love you and would do anything to help you, including myself. Don't go with your tail tucked and your head low. Go with your head towards the sky and your tail wagging with excitement!

If you need to talk, anytime, anywhere, anyplace, you know where I'm at. Also if you want my number, feel free to PM me. I'm available 24/7 to listen.

:hug:
 
Yesterday I was called in to see the doctor...and I was literally scared to death.

It wasn't back...but it was "just a tumor." How funny it is that after all I've been through, a tumor can be seen as a blessing. Anyways, I had to have it removed today...they will check it and I should know more in a few days.

But what happened yesterday really did affirm my decision...I was just appalled and heartbroken. I ended up having to leave in the middle of my procedure to look for my kids and when I finally found them I realized I was still in my hospital gown, bleeding and under a lot of drugs. A prime example of the lack of support in my life. I mean, really. This kind of thing was typical for me. I'm sick of people telling me I'm strong or acting as if I'm exaggerating what the doctor is telling me. If anything, I often sugarcoat. Whatever...
 
Have you talked to your mother at all? Before you give your kids away to strangers, you might find she would welcome another chance to do a better job.

Unless you had truly communicated the gravity of your situation and she still ignored you.
 
Oh...geez...I wish I could just wave a wand and make all this go away and be better for you....but I can't. I agree with OceanBreeze...whether or not you feel you can stand to fight this if it returns is solely your choice...and after reading the hell you went through I can certainly understand if you do not. I think it is a wise decision to make preparations for your girls just in case things do go awry. I hope with all my heart that you never have to deal with this again though...and you live a long and HAPPY life.

As for your "family"...well, it sounds like you are probably better off without them anyway. I have a "family" who "loves" me so long as I am not around and my life is going just fine....but let things go rough then they are conveniently too busy or just not around for me. They are toxic to me and my life, and frankly I have found I do better without them.

Anyway, I really do hope life turns around and goes much better for you...:hug:
 
deafbajagal said:
Yesterday I was called in to see the doctor...and I was literally scared to death.

It wasn't back...but it was "just a tumor." How funny it is that after all I've been through, a tumor can be seen as a blessing. Anyways, I had to have it removed today...they will check it and I should know more in a few days.

But what happened yesterday really did affirm my decision...I was just appalled and heartbroken. I ended up having to leave in the middle of my procedure to look for my kids and when I finally found them I realized I was still in my hospital gown, bleeding and under a lot of drugs. A prime example of the lack of support in my life. I mean, really. This kind of thing was typical for me. I'm sick of people telling me I'm strong or acting as if I'm exaggerating what the doctor is telling me. If anything, I often sugarcoat. Whatever...
Click to expand...

Oh...gawds...I can not help but cry for you deafbajagal...and I truly wish I was there to help you, because you need SOMEONE. I can't begin to say how appalled I am that NO ONE, not friends or family, cares enough to be there for you and with you...:tears: Strong though you maybe, you should NOT have to be an island to yourself.
 
I need to move to Texas and take DBG under my wing!
 
sticky : we pray touch your suffer pain your cancer pain life healthsuffer, AD support to continue pray your heart

rid the your body on cancer fighter clean up, I continue
 
deafbajagal said:
Yesterday I was called in to see the doctor...and I was literally scared to death.

It wasn't back...but it was "just a tumor." How funny it is that after all I've been through, a tumor can be seen as a blessing. Anyways, I had to have it removed today...they will check it and I should know more in a few days.

But what happened yesterday really did affirm my decision...I was just appalled and heartbroken. I ended up having to leave in the middle of my procedure to look for my kids and when I finally found them I realized I was still in my hospital gown, bleeding and under a lot of drugs. A prime example of the lack of support in my life. I mean, really. This kind of thing was typical for me. I'm sick of people telling me I'm strong or acting as if I'm exaggerating what the doctor is telling me. If anything, I often sugarcoat. Whatever...
Click to expand...
I have mixed feeling on your posts. On the one hand, I'm relieved that it's just a tumor but I'm dismayed at the lack of your support in your life. :hug:


I hope the tumor is begin.
 
Deafbajagal, many hugs from me, I am appalled that you have no support, but you will always have support from many of us on AD. Glad it is not back and hope it's benign.

Hope you get some plans made for your girls, so you can feel at ease if it does return and you feel relaxed that your girls will be well taken care of.

Hugs!! I will be checking for update
 
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