yep its a one way street
I Refuse
- Thread starter deafbajagal
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yep its a one way street
More or less. There's not much I can do to change my family at this late date, so I'm not wasting time stewing about it.
What is funny...I don't group all deaf together, but deaf seem to do just that to themselves. You know like all the hearing people think the same, and all black people think the same. I didn't know that deaf people had one mind. Serious, with all the barriers that deaf have you would think they would be more "pro-active" and voice opinions and offer assistance. Who better to offer opinions. I can get opinions all day long from hearing people as to what is the correct way to raise a deaf child, how to communicate, where to educate, how to amplify. Can't seem to get the same from the "deaf community."
Hate to see grandson grow-up on the outside look in.
Hate to see grandson grow-up on the outside look in.
I don't think all hearing, and all African--Americans, think the same way exactly. I try to be cautious about generalizing whole groups of people.
I hope soon to take an ASL class again. I agree more hearing need to learn ASL! I have been going to that ASL Pro site-
I hope soon to take an ASL class again. I agree more hearing need to learn ASL! I have been going to that ASL Pro site-
jillio
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Agreed. Deaf people advocate constantly. People just aren't paying attention.
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I think that person's daughter does not like her after growing up, and she is taking her frustration out on us.
Yeah that must be it. I find the best wisdom here. Frustrated yes, problem not my daughter or our relationship. Just can't find deaf who are advocates. Daughter and I were discussing it today and decided that since the Deaf Community is so small in any given area that maybe that is why more support is not provided. Too much drama. I am just tired of having to go it alone. Guess this wasn't the place to get it. Sorry to all!
Bebonang
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I don't understand what you are trying to tell us about us, Deafies, to do the advocating. We have been doing this for many years, but no hearies don't want to believe us or try to understand us. The Audists do not want to listen to us because they think we can hear with their voices for us to pick up but the sounds are different than the hearing people hear. We can hear the environment noises, not that clearly. Lipreading is far more difficult to read lips and that is why we need ASL very badly. There are very few Deaf or hard of hearing people who can lipread very well, but they can get lost into misunderstanding what they say too. We have tried over and over about hearing aids and CI and letting them know that we want only ASL so that we can better understand what they say in signs. Please don't give up and say that is not what I want if this is not the place to learn about Deaf culture and Deaf community. You can talk about any topics if you want to choose what you learn from us. Forget about advocate because it is not going to work. You have to open your eyes to see and listen to us about our experience of trying to struggle into the hearing world. No hearies can not fix us to be like them as a hearing person. It is absolutely impossible. I do hope you stay on here. Give yourself another chance here.
Beboning,
I listen to you, Beboning! It is good for me to learn from Deaf people on here........
.........and thank you for your reply before answering my First Nations question - u took the time to answer and I appreciate it
I listen to you, Beboning! It is good for me to learn from Deaf people on here........
.........and thank you for your reply before answering my First Nations question - u took the time to answer and I appreciate it
Bebonang
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Beboning,
I listen to you, Beboning! It is good for me to learn from Deaf people on here........
.........and thank you for your reply before answering my First Nations question - u took the time to answer and I appreciate it
You are welcome. It is very rare for hearing person to want to listen to what we have to suffer so much in the hearing world. And you are welcome for having me to reply your questions about First Nations question. I really love to discuss on this forum very much and I have been on it for almost three years so far.
See this is my point. Suffer. I get it. I see it everyday. I don't see how you can offer serious information to assist another person if you see yourself only in that way. When our daughter was diagnosed as deaf, we didn't think or her as broken--how do we fix her now. We thought---ok, now we need to learn to communicate with her. That is what we did. Headed to the DSC got information. Socialized with deaf adults. Listen to their stories-mostly the same-"My family never learned to sign!" My point is, yes advocate for the deaf.....educate the hearing......the only ones out here force-feeding us are the hearing with an agenda. You know the Oralist, or the Audiologist who wants your kid to get a CI. Or maybe its the stick you kid in the mainstream....if you want them to be normal because deaf school will just prevent them from being able to interact with hearing people and just become institualized. Or it is the school system who does want to spend the dough and suggest you send you kid away. As for ASL.....not only is it a beautiful language, but it sure makes it easy to communicate with the deaf members in my family. Maynot always do it right, but we try. Now if I could get everyone to stop assuming things about me maybe we could get somewhere
Sure do, how about you?
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Well, to get somewhere, maybe start out by not making a blanket statement about us.
As for our families not willing to learn to sign....it is the truth...that happens to so many of us. We had to sacrifice a lot for our hearing family members. it is just a fact, not drama.
As for advocating..many of us would like to but the problem is a majority of us have family obligations and jobs to meet first. I am hoping when my children r older, I will have more time for advocating but as of now, my children are my priorities and I won't neglect them when they r young because I know what it is like to be neglected by a parent.
Maybe, instead of making assumptions, ask why many people are unable to go out there and advocate to the political community.
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this is a great thread.
my girlfriend and i started taking an asl class about a month and a half ago and its the coolest thing we've ever done. neither of us know anyone who is deaf or hard of hearing aside from our instructor, and honestly this started so we could understand each other when we went to bars or to dance clubs. however, now it's become a sort of hobby to pick up this second language.
the thing is, i started to notice that there was a complete 'deaf culture' in class when there seemed to appear an indignant approach to asl versus signed english. i wanted to find out more about how people who are deaf see the world around them, and this one thread seems to be more educational than anything i've read in any blog.
i can relate to gma's posts here, and understand her frustration as a hearing person. i've only been on here since last night and already i see many people here comfortable being in a world where they want to only be among their own. i disagree that this is from the 'outside looking in,' but i do see it as a pretty closed minded approach.
i'm many things aside from being a hearing person. like you all i suffer from a cognitive impairment, and also like many of you i can get away with seeming completely 'normal.' having a learning disability in auditory processing for me means that even though i can hear what you say, i don't actually understand it. it's frustrating at best.
being a huge advocate of accessibility, i want to be able to communicate with the hearing impaired or hoh or deaf or whatever you call yourselves because i think it's important for others to understand each other. in a way, i'm doing this for your benefit, since i can hear just fine. to completely throw in the towel is just as bad as the people standing against you saying that you should learn to live by their rules. it makes you different. it makes you an outsider... simply by your own actions.
does it suck that there are people out there who don't have the patience to learn your language and expect you to live by their rules? sure it does, but everyone faces this challenge everyday. if we actually do meet people who are hoh or completely deaf down the road, i'd like to be able to communicate with them as best as i can. but since i don't sign that well yet, it would be nice if they could try to speak to me what they are signing so we can understand each other.
to answer jillio, i think that gma is advocating. you all seem very aggressive towards people who can hear and it's a little disconcerting. if you push us away too much we will eventually ask you the same question you put here: what's the point?
my girlfriend and i started taking an asl class about a month and a half ago and its the coolest thing we've ever done. neither of us know anyone who is deaf or hard of hearing aside from our instructor, and honestly this started so we could understand each other when we went to bars or to dance clubs. however, now it's become a sort of hobby to pick up this second language.
the thing is, i started to notice that there was a complete 'deaf culture' in class when there seemed to appear an indignant approach to asl versus signed english. i wanted to find out more about how people who are deaf see the world around them, and this one thread seems to be more educational than anything i've read in any blog.
i can relate to gma's posts here, and understand her frustration as a hearing person. i've only been on here since last night and already i see many people here comfortable being in a world where they want to only be among their own. i disagree that this is from the 'outside looking in,' but i do see it as a pretty closed minded approach.
i'm many things aside from being a hearing person. like you all i suffer from a cognitive impairment, and also like many of you i can get away with seeming completely 'normal.' having a learning disability in auditory processing for me means that even though i can hear what you say, i don't actually understand it. it's frustrating at best.
being a huge advocate of accessibility, i want to be able to communicate with the hearing impaired or hoh or deaf or whatever you call yourselves because i think it's important for others to understand each other. in a way, i'm doing this for your benefit, since i can hear just fine. to completely throw in the towel is just as bad as the people standing against you saying that you should learn to live by their rules. it makes you different. it makes you an outsider... simply by your own actions.
does it suck that there are people out there who don't have the patience to learn your language and expect you to live by their rules? sure it does, but everyone faces this challenge everyday. if we actually do meet people who are hoh or completely deaf down the road, i'd like to be able to communicate with them as best as i can. but since i don't sign that well yet, it would be nice if they could try to speak to me what they are signing so we can understand each other.
to answer jillio, i think that gma is advocating. you all seem very aggressive towards people who can hear and it's a little disconcerting. if you push us away too much we will eventually ask you the same question you put here: what's the point?
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As for expecting deaf people to "speak" to u what they r signing, do u realize that there are so many of us who struggle with our speech skills or don't have any at all?
The aggressiveness comes from when people make blanket statements about us or making comments putting all of us in a negative light based on one's limited experience with deaf people. Other than that, the aggressivenes doesn't happen for the fun of it.
about being with "our kind"...it is human nature to be around people who we can communicate easily with. Who wants to be with a group of people who don't take the time to ensure that we are included in the conversations? I sure don't want to waste my time sitting completely lost among a group of people who r enjoying each other's company with jokes, stories, and etc.....I want to be a part of it to and if by being in a signing environment enables me to have that opportunity, u bet I will prefer to put myself in that kind of environment most of the time.
You know, there is a time for everything. Learning to sign and teaching my daughter was a struggle that we went through together. I wish that I was deaf and signed......how nice it would have been for her. I live a busy life too, but something as important as this you make the time, and it doesn't have to be huge or grand, and guess what, you can make your child part it. That is how the childrens group started by me having all my kids take part. Deaf kids with their siblings. I know how frustrating it is to sign to non-fluent people.....I'm ashamed that I'm not fluent, it is just as frustrating to me. I know you think I sound angry, and I am, but more so I am frustrated and sad. I have people that I want to ask for help and I am truly alone. When you ask for help, write people for help, and go see people for help, and you get nothing.........you tell me the group for me to turn to for help. You think you don't owe us patience.......I wonder if maybe you regret people trying to be part of your community.
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That's one of the reasons I majored in Deaf Education to advocate and work with deaf children..then I realized by being a teacher isn't enough to end the injustics done to deaf children which is why iam considering going into a different field when my children r older.
U r entitled to your opinion and I understand the feelings of anger. Been thru it myself about how I was raised.
There r many deaf people who do advocate and there r many who do not. Not everyone was born to advocate.