I need advice or someone talk to please

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friendlymom21

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i dont know how to say this i think i need someone to talk to or understanding im depressed of my relationship because since we been together for 2 yrs my bf 26 and im 21 yrs old we've been havin some problems like every time we talked about anything we kind of disagree then argue about it i just felt like he dont understand me sometime or like we have different opionons i know im not good with relationship im not good with commucate sometime.

it just that hes not the man i used to know whenever i talked to him he not like softhearted person or understanding my feelings for example when u talked to someone about ur feeling or u're upset about something that person suppose to listen and understand what u're goin thru also being sentisive he not like that to me before. i accept him for who he is and i do love him very much so what should i do to solve this and make a better relationship?? :confused:


p.s. sorry if this confuse or not make sense i'll explain more clear
 
Just have to try to continue with it. Need to sit down and talk abt what ur guys problems are. can't be shy abt things and need to bring stuff into the open. Also, can't hide stuff from each other. You need to let him have his guy moments and have fun with the guys, but u also have to have ur gal time too. It is not good to be around each our 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. U can't put him on a chain and he can't put u on a chain. My wife and I had that hard time where we fought left and right. That 1st year of marriage was hard, but we where getting to know each other. Also, guys are not that complex. If u need something, don't make a lot of hints, just streight up and tell us. If u don't like something, just ask why we did that or let us know u didn't care for that. U still learning a lot and it takes a long time to get to know each other and learn how to comunicate right with each other.
 
Handsome_Smiley said:
Just have to try to continue with it. Need to sit down and talk abt what ur guys problems are. can't be shy abt things and need to bring stuff into the open. Also, can't hide stuff from each other. You need to let him have his guy moments and have fun with the guys, but u also have to have ur gal time too. It is not good to be around each our 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. U can't put him on a chain and he can't put u on a chain. My wife and I had that hard time where we fought left and right. That 1st year of marriage was hard, but we where getting to know each other. Also, guys are not that complex. If u need something, don't make a lot of hints, just streight up and tell us. If u don't like something, just ask why we did that or let us know u didn't care for that. U still learning a lot and it takes a long time to get to know each other and learn how to comunicate right with each other.
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true i agree with u! try this!
 
Handsome_Smiley said:
Just have to try to continue with it. Need to sit down and talk abt what ur guys problems are. can't be shy abt things and need to bring stuff into the open. Also, can't hide stuff from each other. You need to let him have his guy moments and have fun with the guys, but u also have to have ur gal time too. It is not good to be around each our 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. U can't put him on a chain and he can't put u on a chain. My wife and I had that hard time where we fought left and right. That 1st year of marriage was hard, but we where getting to know each other. Also, guys are not that complex. If u need something, don't make a lot of hints, just streight up and tell us. If u don't like something, just ask why we did that or let us know u didn't care for that. U still learning a lot and it takes a long time to get to know each other and learn how to comunicate right with each other.
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I agree with u what u said in here im gonna try my best talk to him about how i felt about him and my feelings more also being honest too. i think we will have be indepenace from each other and have our own fun with guys and gals i know u're right about that its not good be together 24/7 hopefully we'll commucate more and discuss about anything than hide it inside also i realize that its wrong to treat each other like that just respect each other and more.
 
It makes perfect sense friendlymom21!! Y'all both, yeah, need to try to sit down & have a nice long talk. But sometimes that don't even work. Sometimes it takes leaving the person just to get their attention. Then they totally change. But then again there are times that don't even work. So ya gotta ask yourself? Is it really worth going on & on like this? There are plenty others out there (which I'm sure ya heard plenty of times) that can make you happier then ever. Just takes alot of times & patients. Good Luck to you friendlymom21 & sorry you have to go through all of that:hug:




friendlymom21 said:
p.s. sorry if this confuse or not make sense i'll explain more clear
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Sometimes a person changes because they are effected by an outside force. For example, money problems, depression, anxeity or something else entirely. Something might be bugging him or eating him up inside, the best thing is to try and communicate this out of him. You will disgaree and you will have differences of opinion, this is part of a relationship and you both need to keep that in mind.
 
IMO, every relationship requires work and no two relationship are alike and the best way to develop positive relationships are to take time to talk and listen to each others especially if it comes to disagreeing or not understanding each others feelings...each person needs to feel that their own opinions are valued etc...and keeping a positive attitudue does help the situation between the two of you...All relationships have their ups and downs, just have to keep working on it , having patience is a biggest factor in a relationship too...

I wish you two all the best, hopefully both of you will conitune working on this relationship, if you two really do love each others... :)
 
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friendlymom21 said:
i dont know how to say this i think i need someone to talk to or understanding im depressed of my relationship because since we been together for 2 yrs my bf 26 and im 21 yrs old we've been havin some problems like every time we talked about anything we kind of disagree then argue about it i just felt like he dont understand me sometime or like we have different opionons i know im not good with relationship im not good with commucate sometime.
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I've learned a great lesson when it comes to agree to disgree in a relationship, Fighting to win gets you or your boyfriend nowhere. That's a line when not to across. You both need to come to a resolution (a mutual understanding), not having to worry about who's right and who's wrong, each person has an opinion of their own about things in life, there's no wrong or no right. The solution is to be more understanding to eachothers, why we feel the way we feel and listening to eachother's feelings. for example hear his perspective and him to hear your perspective. ;)


it just that hes not the man i used to know whenever i talked to him he not like softhearted person or understanding my feelings for example when u talked to someone about ur feeling or u're upset about something that person suppose to listen and understand what u're goin thru also being sentisive he not like that to me before. i accept him for who he is and i do love him very much so what should i do to solve this and make a better relationship?? :confused:
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If he's not the man that would sit down and listen to your feelings, then he is not worth to keep around, it takes two to tango in a relationship, communication is very important. If he refused to put any effort into caring about your feelings, your emotions, then what's good would this relationship would be? That's something you have to think about hun. Best of luck to you! ;)
 
^Angel^ said:
IMO, every relationship requires work and no two relationship are alike and the best way to develop positive relationships are to take time to talk and listen to each others especially if it comes to disagreeing or not understanding each others feelings...each person needs to feel that their own opinions are valued etc...and keeping a positive attitudue does help the situation between the two of you...All relationships have their ups and downs, just have to keep working on it , having patience is a biggest factor in a relationship too...

I wish you two all the best, hopefully both of you will conitune working on this relationship, if you two really do love each others... :)
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So true! :)

Good luck in finding a resolution with your bf.
 
^Angel^ said:
IMO, every relationship requires work and no two relationship are alike and the best way to develop positive relationships are to take time to talk and listen to each others especially if it comes to disagreeing or not understanding each others feelings...each person needs to feel that their own opinions are valued etc...and keeping a positive attitudue does help the situation between the two of you...All relationships have their ups and downs, just have to keep working on it , having patience is a biggest factor in a relationship too...

I wish you two all the best, hopefully both of you will conitune working on this relationship, if you two really do love each others... :)
Click to expand...


I have to say that I agree with Angel, its true! commucations, and everything should be straight out in a relationships :)
 
Everyone have different opinions.. It's normal.. I have been thru that lots in my past relationships. sometimes it is pain in ass... I remmy that one of my ex told me that he really want to get married to me but I don't want to get married cuz if I get divorced or separated then I will lose my investment and I told him we can be common in law not legal married so I will not lose my investment and he disagree with me.. FINE we broke up! That is his LOST!! He don't even understand about my needs.. sh#t....It hurts me lots...
 
Remmy this: It take 2 to tango!....every relationships not perfect like i learned thur that... only way is sit down discuss on whats wrong than bein agure toward eachother etc.. i know some people are hard headed ... so best way is sit down and discuss than let it go thur the roof... so heres my 5 cents imput
 
Remember, it's a good relationship if BOTH of you are happy. If you're not happy and trying to work with him isn't doing anything, then it might be time to move on.

I went through the same thing with my ex-girlfriend. I loved her for who she was years ago. She was very encouraging and a happy girl who knew what she wanted. As the months and years went by, she started changing her behavior. We both had common interests and that made everything easy for us. We were always looking forward to doing things together. She changed her views and preferred other things. Because of that, it became harder for us to enjoy things together. I did try to work it out with her and try to enjoy the things she preferred. Yet, it didn't always work out because she would move on to something else quickly. It got to the point where she would complain about the things I did (which she liked before, but didn't like now) and expect me to change with her. I was just being the way I was because I'm a person who doesn't constantly change like she does. Well, we broke up after 3 years 4 months 5 days.

So, if it doesn't work out with you... it might be time to move on. I would rather see you happy than to try to make him happy and make yourself sad.
 
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