I don't know what to do,

I kicked my son's father out and he is gone, as far as it goes, we were arguing outside about this whole thing he deny owing money for drugs but doesn't matter I wouldn't take his word for it, I felt bad leaving him out on the street, but I did warned him when he first move in that he has to follow my rules and my rules are no drugs in my home, no problems, no drinking he broke that rule and he is gone I am sorry if I sound really harsh leaving him on the street but my kids come first and what he did was wrong and not thinking about his own son, all he ever cares about is himself I been nothing but nice to him, offering him a place to stay cuz I felt bad for him living on the street, and did it for my son's sake but what happen today was unacceptable. I know he has a drinking and drug problem, But he is aware of my rules and if he doesn't follow up he has to leave I am sorry that is just the way it is.
 
Cheri said:
I kicked my son's father out and he is gone, as far as it goes, we were arguing outside about this whole thing he deny owing money for drugs but doesn't matter I wouldn't take his word for it, I felt bad leaving him out on the street, but I did warned him when he first move in that he has to follow my rules and my rules are no drugs in my home, no problems, no drinking he broke that rule and he is gone I am sorry if I sound really harsh leaving him on the street but my kids come first and what he did was wrong and not thinking about his own son, all he ever cares about is himself I been nothing but nice to him, offering him a place to stay cuz I felt bad for him living on the street, and did it for my son's sake but what happen today was unacceptable. I know he has a drinking and drug problem, But he is aware of my rules and if he doesn't follow up he has to leave I am sorry that is just the way it is.
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Cheri, you did the right thing. From the conversations that I had with the officers on duty, they all agreed to get rid of him. He is endagering the welfare of your kids, and that there is a crime here in RI. As far as the drug dealer, they said if he didn't threaten harm or anything, doesn't sound like he broke a law. He is basically an unwanted person. But they said, being a drug dealer, he may have a warrant out for him.

:hug: FOR CHERI!
 
Cheri said:
I kicked my son's father out and he is gone, as far as it goes, we were arguing outside about this whole thing he deny owing money for drugs but doesn't matter I wouldn't take his word for it, I felt bad leaving him out on the street, but I did warned him when he first move in that he has to follow my rules and my rules are no drugs in my home, no problems, no drinking he broke that rule and he is gone I am sorry if I sound really harsh leaving him on the street but my kids come first and what he did was wrong and not thinking about his own son, all he ever cares about is himself I been nothing but nice to him, offering him a place to stay cuz I felt bad for him living on the street, and did it for my son's sake but what happen today was unacceptable. I know he has a drinking and drug problem, But he is aware of my rules and if he doesn't follow up he has to leave I am sorry that is just the way it is.
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Bravo!! Trust betrayed, not worth it. You are the mother and protect the young and you have right to do this.
 
Cheri said:
I kicked my son's father out and he is gone, as far as it goes, we were arguing outside about this whole thing he deny owing money for drugs but doesn't matter I wouldn't take his word for it, I felt bad leaving him out on the street, but I did warned him when he first move in that he has to follow my rules and my rules are no drugs in my home, no problems, no drinking he broke that rule and he is gone I am sorry if I sound really harsh leaving him on the street but my kids come first and what he did was wrong and not thinking about his own son, all he ever cares about is himself I been nothing but nice to him, offering him a place to stay cuz I felt bad for him living on the street, and did it for my son's sake but what happen today was unacceptable. I know he has a drinking and drug problem, But he is aware of my rules and if he doesn't follow up he has to leave I am sorry that is just the way it is.
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yea i know how you feel.. you are a SOFTIE like me.. but when it comes to things like drugs.. you gotta be FIRM.. ya know?? (sigh) you did the right thing girl.. :thumb:
 
Cheri said:
He even said he would be back wasn't too happy either I don't know what to do <snip> I need some advice on what I should do would greatly appreciated it.
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Police can't do anything to help you right now because the guy already left. If the bad guy comes back, you tell him that you don't know where your ex is. If he starts to give you a hard time, dial 911.
 
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Cheri said:
I kicked my son's father out and he is gone,
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Wow, that was so fast! Good for you! You shouldn't feel bad. Hope the bad guy won't come back to bother you!
 
Cheri, I am very sorry to hear about that but I hope everything will be ok with you and your children too. But if it happens again, you need to call police. I want to make sure that you and your children are in safety. I wish I was there to hug you right now, but I will pray for you.
 
oh shyt! i am glad that u did right thing to kicked him out!!!! cuz of put u and kids in dangerous what if they come back again.. think twice.. so u better call the cop and get safe! dont let them come again.. gosh!
 
Cheri said:
I am shaking like a leaf here and do not know what to do, This person came over my house knocking on my door looking for my son's father and was really rude and say that he owes money for drugs that he hasn't paid for weeks now. I asked him where did you get my address from? He says from this person which my son's father. And the same time I was really disappointing in why he gave a drug dealer my address!! I went into a panic position because I have two children in my home and I am so frighten, and He even said he would be back wasn't too happy either I don't know what to do but I am all shaking up here. I gave my son's father a place to stay because he has no where else to go, But this is far unacceptable what he did putting my children in a postion of dangerous. I need some advice on what I should do would greatly appreciated it.
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1. Get your car and go to Police Station.
2. Put your children at your moms home
3. Get your children's father remove out of house for your safety and children, too
4. Get R. Order on Guy and Father of children for Drug reasons
5. Get new place to move and not let anyone (drug dealer and father) know where are you live. If Father want to visit kids, He must be in public places like Resturant, Mall or wherever.
6. Move in your sister s house for while until you feel more safe and move back to your home.
7. Get children's father s things out of house and put on Front of door. Write the note "Do not bring Drug Dealers to my house, U do make Deal urself, U put in Danger for me and Children, and U try to make Drug Dealers Pissed off for Money and Possible Kill you or/and Children" Father will know that you and children are danger to be near drug dealers.
I hope you feel safe and put your eyes on Children to make sure they are Okay. What a fk up from children's father!
hope that is help for you.
Mommyof3
 
Mommyof3 said:
4. Get R. Order on Guy
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That will be real easy to do when you get to the courthouse. "Yes, I would like to get a restraining order on a male, about this tall, and is a drug dealer". I know it cost a pretty pennie in RI to get a restraining order on a non-domestic related thing. (In other words, several hundred dollars...i was going to when this person was making threats to me personally)

If the guy ever does come back, tell him that you kicked out (insert name here) and you don't know where he is now. Then tell him that he is not wanted on your property and if you don't leave, you will have no other choice but to call the authorities.

I think as soon as he knows that the father is no longer living there, he won't be around. He wants the father, not Cheri.
 
Geeze Cheri, why didn't you call us up and told us about this instead of seeing this thread....

What if the drug dealer comes back, what are you going to do? ... :|
 
^Angel^ said:
Geeze Cheri, why didn't you call us up and told us about this instead of seeing this thread....

What if the drug dealer comes back, what are you going to do? ... :|
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of course.. she didnt want to worry you and your family.. simple as that... ;)
 
When dealing with drug dealers, any one of these is quite effective in getting the message across. I’ve always thought that the name ‘Persuader’ was particularly appropriate, in a tongue-in-cheek way.
 
next time, buy a gun and then if he ever comes back, quickly point it to his balls and say "what part of "GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!" dont you understand?!?" and then it would make him wet his pants and flee. :o
 
Cheri,
First, you did the right thing by kicking out the father....You don't need any of that around you and especially the kids.

As for the police, I'm surprised it was said not to call the police. If you ever feel like you or the kids are in any kind of danger whatsoever, a call should be made to the police....even if no laws are broken. The worst thing that will happen is the police will come to your house and tell you that there is nothing they can do. Each states laws are different, so you may have options available to you that you do not realize, and that is what the police will advise you on. It is better to hear it from your local police who are familiar with any options, than to get legal advice on a message board from people who are in different states.

I know that had you lived here and called us, there would have been something that could have been done. Your state and locality will be different. As prostock pointed out, there is a good chance the guy has warrants out for him. It also helps that the father is no longer living there, and the drug dealer will seek his funds elsewhere.

From some responses here, perhaps what I said will be unpopular. I've seen domestic disputes where the male half has done something to female half although she has no proof. In a recent case, the male was going inside of her house and there were little indications that he was there. She said she never called the police because she had no proof. It doesn't matter if she had proof or not, she should have called the police.

In relation to your case, if you feel threatened at all (and the fact that he showed up on your doorstep is threatening IMO), the police should be called. Even if you don't know who the guy is. Why? Because he may not go away and may continue to think your husband lives there. What if he shows up on your doorstep 2 more times. Then one morning you come out to find your tires slashed (only using this as an example). It would be better to have reported the times he showed up at your house...then the police have something to go on with the slashed tires. This also shows that it is an ongoing problem....and should you ever need to get an order against the guy, you have proof that he is a problem. See what I mean?

Let your local police be the ones to tell you they can't do anything (and they just might do that...however, you will also create a 'call history' for your house).

Regardless, I'm going in to work tonight and I'll ask other officers their opinions about this as well.
 
prostock19 said:
Guns are not the answer. Guns make the home more dangerous. Look here at the statistics.
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Actually, I personally feel that guns are the answer. The problem with the statistics you provided show poor gun ownership.
People need to keep in mind that their protection is their own responsibilty. The government cannot protect you unless they are already there. Unless you have a cop living in your house 24/7, your safety is in your hands until the police arrive. I recall a time several years ago I came home to find an intruder in my house. I didn't even have time to call the police. I could have been dead long before the police were even called. I don't argue about the whole 'I have a right to bear arms' stuff....I only argue that it is up to me to protect myself.

A book I recommend checking out is The Concealed Handgun Manual. It has some great information in regards to gun ownership, and proper handling of guns.

There are also plenty of organizations around your area that offer safety classes.
 
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Thanks everyone for your feedbacks and support. :grouphug:

Levonian and Steel, I don't like guns and wouldn't even touch one. They creep me out. :)

^Angel^, Didn't want to worried you, I am fine now. And if he comes back, I will do what prostock19 suggested, He only wants my son's father not me. I don't owe the money because, I never brought drugs in my lifetime.


I am trying to move forward and let the early day passed, the problem is solved, My son's dad is out and I felt less worried, but same time worried about this other person who says he is coming back. But, I am going to think positive and hope a positive solution would go smooth. :P

Thank-you all again for some great suggestions.
 
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