I am wondering..

Greif86

Greif86

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If you are deaf, and you have siblings that are hearing, did they adapt well? My youngest daughter is deaf, but my 16 month old daughter and 3 year old son are hearing. I am just wondering how hearing siblings adapt.

Also, has anyone dealt with family that just dosen't understand? Deafness runs on my side of the family (all females) and while my husband has EMBRACED Avery's deafness with open arms and an eagerness to learn ASL and everything about the Deaf Community; his family thinks she is "broken" and it is MY fault :( Every time I would update them on how an Audi appointment went, they would respond that they are "praying to God to FIX her". She is not BROKEN!! I have gotten in many an argument over this with them, to the point where I no longer say anything about appointments, or her deafness in general. We see her for who she is, a perfect little girl who is no different from her sister and brother. We have asked them to start learning ASL with us so that they may communicate with her, but they have no interest. They say that they don't need to because she will not be like this forever, she will be "fixed". OMG Can I just say HOW much it IRKS me when they say the words BROKEN or FIXED in regards to my daughter?!? She is such a beautiful healthy little girl, how can they use those words to describe her?!? Anyways, I've pretty much given up on them..though it does make me sad to think as she gets older she will ask why Grandma/Aunt/Grandpa do not talk with her...:(
 
I'm so sorry that your in-laws don't understand. I hope that they will change their ways before it's too late.

:hug:
 
If your husband takes an ASL class, and maybe the grandparents were to take even the first term, they will learn a lot of Deaf culture issues... this might help them see...

Let them read the book "Triumph of the Spirit" about Gallaudet. It might open their eyes and make them proud to have a deaf grandbaby. Good luck... I feel sad that you still have to struggle with this... Did you see the movie ,, Sweet Nothings in my ear the other night? Try to rent it for your in laws. It deals with some of the issues of hearing in laws. :)
 
Greif86 said:
If you are deaf, and you have siblings that are hearing, did they adapt well? My youngest daughter is deaf, but my 16 month old daughter and 3 year old son are hearing. I am just wondering how hearing siblings adapt.

Also, has anyone dealt with family that just dosen't understand? Deafness runs on my side of the family (all females) and while my husband has EMBRACED Avery's deafness with open arms and an eagerness to learn ASL and everything about the Deaf Community; his family thinks she is "broken" and it is MY fault :( Every time I would update them on how an Audi appointment went, they would respond that they are "praying to God to FIX her". She is not BROKEN!! I have gotten in many an argument over this with them, to the point where I no longer say anything about appointments, or her deafness in general. We see her for who she is, a perfect little girl who is no different from her sister and brother. We have asked them to start learning ASL with us so that they may communicate with her, but they have no interest. They say that they don't need to because she will not be like this forever, she will be "fixed". OMG Can I just say HOW much it IRKS me when they say the words BROKEN or FIXED in regards to my daughter?!? She is such a beautiful healthy little girl, how can they use those words to describe her?!? Anyways, I've pretty much given up on them..though it does make me sad to think as she gets older she will ask why Grandma/Aunt/Grandpa do not talk with her...:(
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It depends on how the lifestyle of the family.

I'm deaf. I was born hearing, but became deaf around the age of 1. I can still hear well with hearing aids and I'm oral. I went to an oral deaf institute when I was little. I never had the need to sign since I always talked with my family and wasn't exposed to sign language until I was 5 years old.

Even when I was exposed to sign language at the age of 5, I was still the only deaf person that my family was exposed to until I was 9 when I went to a church that had a deaf program. From that point on, I began having deaf people over to my house and that encouraged my family to learn some sign language. When I was 15, we had new neighbors with 2 deaf kids. Since they came over to my house more often, my brother began to learn sign language.

Today, my brother signs pretty well... but not very fluently. He encourages his kids and wife to learn sign language. My parents don't know sign language very well, but they do know to speak very clearly when talking with my deaf friends. One sister too. However, I have another sister who is the "bitch of the family" and refuses to acknowledge my deafness. So, she's the only person in the family who refuses to work with me. (This started happening 10 years ago after she turned 18.) So, she did this by choice after she became an adult.

That's something that you could expect... changes after they become adults. But during childhood, things should be normal since childhood is where we all learn.
 
I have a Deaf brother and I am Deaf myself...none of our family members learned sign language because they use me to interpret between them and my brother cuz I have good oral skills. I think that is pretty pathetic of my family..yes I love them and everything but they are showing that they dont really love nor appreciate my brother by not learning sign language since he has no oral skills at all. Where is the respect? Your in laws sound like they dont respect you or your daughter and hope that your other children wont pick up the same attitudes from your in laws.

I am glad that your husband is more open-minded than them. I am having the same issues with my in laws.
 
Greif86 said:
If you are deaf, and you have siblings that are hearing, did they adapt well? My youngest daughter is deaf, but my 16 month old daughter and 3 year old son are hearing. I am just wondering how hearing siblings adapt.

Also, has anyone dealt with family that just dosen't understand? Deafness runs on my side of the family (all females) and while my husband has EMBRACED Avery's deafness with open arms and an eagerness to learn ASL and everything about the Deaf Community; his family thinks she is "broken" and it is MY fault :( Every time I would update them on how an Audi appointment went, they would respond that they are "praying to God to FIX her". She is not BROKEN!! I have gotten in many an argument over this with them, to the point where I no longer say anything about appointments, or her deafness in general. We see her for who she is, a perfect little girl who is no different from her sister and brother. We have asked them to start learning ASL with us so that they may communicate with her, but they have no interest. They say that they don't need to because she will not be like this forever, she will be "fixed". OMG Can I just say HOW much it IRKS me when they say the words BROKEN or FIXED in regards to my daughter?!? She is such a beautiful healthy little girl, how can they use those words to describe her?!? Anyways, I've pretty much given up on them..though it does make me sad to think as she gets older she will ask why Grandma/Aunt/Grandpa do not talk with her...:(
Click to expand...

I think, if I were you, put the shoe on their foot and ask them, when they say she is broken, how she is broken. Explain broken and ask them if God ever makes mistakes. I'm well aware that the second question may get someone's nose broken (not yours), but, why not ask? High time they learn.
 
When I was 1 1/2 years old- my mom realized that there was something wrong with me as I was not able to look up to her and hear her when she talk.

She would yell and i would turn to her? She was like dumbfounded? So she took me to doctor and thats when she learned that I could be deaf so they had me tested. Sure enough I was hoh in my right ear but deaf in left ear hence why I was able to hear some noises without my hearing aid.

From there, my mom learned everything about sign language and deafness. She had me put in therapy to learn to talk and learn sign language. She had all of my older sisters and brothers learning sign language. they all had fun learning from what mom said.

My sister told me it was so cool to learn sign language and embrace it. she even used it in public school with her best friends. no voices used? LOL. my baby sister learned to sign before she learn to talk. shes hearing herself. so its funny as she can sign but very fast. they all adjusted to me and sign languages no plms.

I dont think there will be any problems unless you dont get all of your kids together and learn sign language same time like my mom did with all of my siblings. Show them it is fun to learn like its an activities?
 
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