Friends with benefits --

ah, dear vamp...
here is no real difference between
"making love" is same thing as "fucking"
and "having sex"
they are all the same, except
softer words and harsh words....

(e.g. "making love" is softer while
"let's fuck" or "let's boom boom" or
"let's baam baam" are harsh wording...)

Hmm, Wanna make love with me ? OR
Wanna fuck me ? Wanna feel me ?
Wanna kiss me and hug me and then
Lets have a holy intercourse ? or
have a un-holy intercourse ? :)
or HARD fuck or Soft fuck ?
psst, it's ALL same thing :)
 
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I think there is nothing wrong with havin friends with benefit. I have done it.
It is good to have a friend where you can go to regularly to hold together and make love.
Either way, in a relationship or no relationship, ones' needs are satisified, and I think judging these people is premature. There might be many reasons for these people to have friends with benefits.
 
I also think Friends with Benefits are Fine.. Sometimes People are not ready for a relationship.. and they just are two adults that wants to Enjoy eachother and have a Romance Night... Together.. Nothing Wrong with that.. As Long this person is not like a type that goes around do everyone.. That is something I would not do.. But I do not Mind Having a Friend That I like and Trust and have a sexual Relationship with. :P
 
I agree with Kuifje here...There is absolutely nothing wrong with having friends with benefits....I've never done it myself but I don't see a problem to hold someone and make love....I think its really depending on each person (s)...because, some may start feeling something emotionaly afterwards and end up feeling heartbroken because that someone don't feel the same way as that person does....and it can cause friendship to break ....sometimes it can cause them to become closer friends...
 
How true that really belong to
each individual's preference and
depend on the level of high or low drive
if it's okay for you as an individual,
then go for it as long as it's okay
with another individual. (Takes 2 people,
if one says okay, and the other one
says not okay, then forget it.. but
if both says okay, then go for it....)
 
Y said:
Geez, "f**K buddy" actually looks more like
"friends WITHOUT any benefits"
rather than "friends WITH benefits"...

The more i think about this,
i cannot accept this kind of
"f**k buddy" because it's impossible to
earn respect from this. Simple.
Click to expand...

The way I am lookin' at it when "friends WITHOUT any benefits", there's no relationship in it, right ? Ok, without relationship, there's no feelings in it, except sex for the pleasure.... that's called "f**k buddy" to me, because there's no discussion further about the relationship for each other like there's never happened. Remma that movie is called "Vanilla Sky", actor Tom Cruise ?

Now, speakin' of "friends WITH benefits", it may hurt the feelings at the end...it may lead to many "evil" things like "fatal attraction" or "obsessed" or whateva. But, it also leads to "unhealthy" environment, too without thinkin' of one self to take care of, if continuin' friends with benefits with others (sex). Sometimes, men likes to know what it is like to have sex with woman and what her "moan" is like... things like that to boost his gratiftication or something, but it won't be very long.

Both of "friends with benefits" and "friends WITHOUT benefits" are still bad idea, it doesn't matter if it sounds good. It's not healthy. I wonder why it is OK to have sex if, there's no relationship to hurt each other's feelings at the end ? What about causin' either one of them "jealous" if, either one of them has someone else ? Will it last their friendship or will it break their friendship to separate their ways ? There's many things I could see and I find it not acceptable.
 
CyberRed said:
The way I am lookin' at it when "friends WITHOUT any benefits", there's no relationship in it, right ? Ok, without relationship, there's no feelings in it, except sex for the pleasure.... that's called "f**k buddy" to me, because there's no discussion further about the relationship for each other like there's never happened. Remma that movie is called "Vanilla Sky", actor Tom Cruise ?

Now, speakin' of "friends WITH benefits", it may hurt the feelings at the end...it may lead to many "evil" things like "fatal attraction" or "obsessed" or whateva. But, it also leads to "unhealthy" environment, too without thinkin' of one self to take care of, if continuin' friends with benefits with others (sex). Sometimes, men likes to know what it is like to have sex with woman and what her "moan" is like... things like that to boost his gratiftication or something, but it won't be very long.

Both of "friends with benefits" and "friends WITHOUT benefits" are still bad idea, it doesn't matter if it sounds good. It's not healthy. I wonder why it is OK to have sex if, there's no relationship to hurt each other's feelings at the end ? What about causin' either one of them "jealous" if, either one of them has someone else ? Will it last their friendship or will it break their friendship to separate their ways ? There's many things I could see and I find it not acceptable.
Click to expand...


Exactly ! Thats what I was trying to
say to everyone else without making
any judgements at all. Even tho I had
gone thru like this before,
it never worked out for me because he wanted
this way while I wanted the other way.
It simply takes 2 individuals to agree with
same kind of preferences/beliefs/values.
IF NOT, then one of them will get hurt. Thats why
I cannot date a wonderful guy who wanted
"friends with benefits" I told him to go find
someone else who have the same kind of
preferences/beliefs/values,
good enuff he just found someone else
and I am very happy for him because that's
what he wanted "no strings attached"
for the rest of his life.
I still adore him alot but I just wanted
to avoid getting hurt myself. He still
respect my wish as much as I respect
his wish.
 
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Lets make NO judgements here, but
this time i am going to challenge you :)

Do you think there is nothing wrong
with sexual abuse ?

Do you think there is nothing wrong
if someone got hurt in a relationship
and/or friendship ?
 
Y said:
Lets make NO judgements here, but
this time i am going to challenge you :)

Do you think there is nothing wrong
with sexual abuse ?

Do you think there is nothing wrong
if someone got hurt in a relationship
and/or friendship ?
Click to expand...

I understand where youre coming from on this....but with Sexually Abuse that is different because it will be one that willing than the other one....As for friends with benefits it take 2 people to agree on this....The person can always say ' No ' and walk away...and still be friends....but, if u say ' Yes ' and knowing this before you ever make love or etc with this person then u know the chance of getting hurt after it happen in case the feelings or emotion comes up right after or during love making....I hate it when someone end up getting hurt because simply there just no control over the feelings you may be having....

as What I said above make sure you both want it....then knowing the chance afterwards!...some do remain friends some don't ....its just depending on each person (s)...I hope I make sense here.... :mrgreen:
 
Y said:
Lets make NO judgements here, but
this time i am going to challenge you :)

Do you think there is nothing wrong
with sexual abuse ?

Do you think there is nothing wrong
if someone got hurt in a relationship
and/or friendship ?
Click to expand...

Sexual abuse ? Well, I think there's wrong if, it involves in a relationship and/or friendship. It depends on 2 persons what type of "sexual abuse" is... sometimes, it means another meanin' when it comes to "kinky" type of thing or what word people are usin' to rough their sex/intercourse. I know that words "sexual abuse" is an ugly words. And, of course some people who feels something that is violatin' them or to degradin'/humiliatin' them, then they will call it a "sexual abuse" ...more likely to the word "rape". Sexual abuse is a disrespectful kind of thing, because it is not a "givin'" the pleasure, but it is a "takin'" the pleasure away from the person for one self's ecastasy/gratification. Sexual abuse is very dangerous when a person's unhealthy "crave" for it leadin' to an out of control, meanin' to force or order a person to obey. That's not a good. Sexual abuse's attitude is a very selfish...psychologically selfish.
 
Well, I agree with some on friends with benefits issues. I admitted that I did get involved with some people sexually. But, we have to agree as long as we have no strings attached. Whoever I get involved with are still friends with me, but I am no longer friends with few others.. sad. Funny thing is I never had sex with my high school classmates or someone in my hometown where I grew up..that's very odd.

Yes, sometimes I get horny and get involved with someone at that point, but not often happened right now.

I agree with Lasza that sex is healthy and helps burning some calories. I consider that sex is my alternative execrise. LOL However, you have to be cautious of unexpected occurrances like AIDS, HIV, STDs, and some other diseases. That's why it is important to have your health tested (I already took STD and HIV tests and come out negative).
 
CyberRed said:
Sexual abuse ? Well, I think there's wrong if, it involves in a relationship and/or friendship. It depends on 2 persons what type of "sexual abuse" is... sometimes, it means another meanin' when it comes to "kinky" type of thing or what word people are usin' to rough their sex/intercourse. I know that words "sexual abuse" is an ugly words. And, of course some people who feels something that is violatin' them or to degradin'/humiliatin' them, then they will call it a "sexual abuse" ...more likely to the word "rape". Sexual abuse is a disrespectful kind of thing, because it is not a "givin'" the pleasure, but it is a "takin'" the pleasure away from the person for one self's ecastasy/gratification. Sexual abuse is very dangerous when a person's unhealthy "crave" for it leadin' to an out of control, meanin' to force or order a person to obey. That's not a good. Sexual abuse's attitude is a very selfish...psychologically selfish.
Click to expand...

u have mentioned 2 sides to the "sexual abuse" definitions -- 1 being a true :nono: in sexual abuse WITHOUT the consent of the person -- the 2nd u mentioned "kinky" ref to the leather community/BDSM -- yes rough sex can happen in BDSM roleplaying -- but mind u, the members in the community are VERY safety conscious -- we abide to the "safe, sane and consensual" policy and we have our limits and that is clearly defined to the top/dom(me) -- it may be viewed as "sexual abuse" to those who arent into it or is viewed as "vanilla" and to keep it clear that BDSM play is NOT abuse in any manner! there is futher discussion abt this topic at this thread:
http://alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=2573
 
Fly Free said:
it may be viewed as "sexual abuse" to those who arent into it or is viewed as "vanilla" and to keep it clear that BDSM play is NOT abuse in any manner! there is futher discussion abt this topic at this thread:
http://alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=2573
Click to expand...

Thanks for the link I just read. Well, like I mentioned earlier... it depends on 2 persons what kind of "sexual abuse" is. It is all in their view and what they feels about it. As its for me, "sexual abuse" is NOT acceptable.
 
Fly Free said:
u have mentioned 2 sides to the "sexual abuse" definitions -- 1 being a true :nono: in sexual abuse WITHOUT the consent of the person -- the 2nd u mentioned "kinky" ref to the leather community/BDSM -- yes rough sex can happen in BDSM roleplaying -- but mind u, the members in the community are VERY safety conscious -- we abide to the "safe, sane and consensual" policy and we have our limits and that is clearly defined to the top/dom(me) -- it may be viewed as "sexual abuse" to those who arent into it or is viewed as "vanilla" and to keep it clear that BDSM play is NOT abuse in any manner! there is futher discussion abt this topic at this thread:
http://alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=2573
Click to expand...
That's why I'm not really into S&M. That's something that sticky for me. We can't always know our limits and may accidentally go overboard. I'd rather just be intimate and take things easily than sitting there grabbing her hair and banging her brains out like some ragdoll! :crazy:
 
^Angel^ said:
I understand where youre coming from on this....but with Sexually Abuse that is different because it will be one that willing than the other one....As for friends with benefits it take 2 people to agree on this....The person can always say ' No ' and walk away...and still be friends....but, if u say ' Yes ' and knowing this before you ever make love or etc with this person then u know the chance of getting hurt after it happen in case the feelings or emotion comes up right after or during love making....I hate it when someone end up getting hurt because simply there just no control over the feelings you may be having....

as What I said above make sure you both want it....then knowing the chance afterwards!...some do remain friends some don't ....its just depending on each person (s)...I hope I make sense here.... :mrgreen:
Click to expand...


yes you made sense here... sometimes
a guy would be interested in something
more than a friendship then he change
his mind wanting "no strings attached"
later... that can hurt.

I have to make this whole thread back
to one simple point that "friends with benefits"
is kinda of "sexually abuse" only
if one of them change mind and then
one of them got hurt. Very Subtle here !

What i mean is that "friends with benefits'
is NOT a sexual abuse ONLY if both of them
agree all the way from the beginning.

That's something I never thought
about this until I analyzed this whole
thread !!! Wonder if I'm making
any sense ?
 
VamPyroX said:
That's what I hate about these damn bitches. They say nothing, then after they do it... they call it rape. WTF? Jeez... even the police will listen to that. If a guy yelled rape, the police would hestitate. If a gal yelled rape, the police would immediately take action!
Click to expand...


YES EXCALTY! you got the point. imagaine how i feel about this... i really pissed off and worried but so far nothing happen.... phew ... that bitch need use common sense and do right thing to speak up than being two-face and later on its goes bad happen... :ugh2:
 
Wesley1482 said:
YES EXCALTY! you got the point. imagaine how i feel about this... i really pissed off and worried but so far nothing happen.... phew ... that bitch need use common sense and do right thing to speak up than being two-face and later on its goes bad happen... :ugh2:
Click to expand...
I've seen it happen here. I'll see this couple who are close friends with each other. They agreed to have sex and I'm not surprised that it happened. I've seen how they talk dirty to each other at time. After they have sex, she feels embarassed about it and then reports to Campus Safety telling them that it was rape. Jeez!
 
Where do I start?

At the age of 16, I met a guy "Dale" who was 20. I was physically attracted to him. We became just friends.
When I was 17, Dale asked me out for a date. We dated for about three months...nothing beyond kissing. But still remained friends.
On my 18th birthday, we did harmless flirting and kissing. Our friendship got stronger. Soon we were getting closer physically.
Whenever I had a boyfriend, or he had a girlfriend we would never touch each other. When we were both single.. we were friends with benefits. It was never spoken or agreed, the sex just happened, no strings attached.
Dale and I did have a strong physical attraction, but we knew we were not compatible enough for a relationship.
By the time I was 19, I met my 'soon to be hubby'. Dale and I still remained friends, and he was there for me during my pregnancy, my marriage problems.
I was lucky to have Dale in my life, he was very supportive when I needed him most. I unfortunately had to end the friendship, because my hubby had a problem with our history together.
 
Ginette:

Wow what a beautiful yet sad story...
That's why I do NOT like to see when
someone else (third party) came later
and then interefered & changed
your original friendship/relationship, Sigh...

Just curious if you don't mind why
did you think that both Dale and you
were NOT compatible for a relationship ?
Of course you do not have to explain
if you do not feel comfortable ...

I have the feeling that Dale would probably
came back to visit you someday
many many years later with white hair,
who knows....
I love that movie "Forever Young"
acted by Mel Gibson and (I forgot her name)
they came back together after
many many years seeing each other
with white hair and wrinkles
Even with EXACTLY SAME FEELINGS
toward each other just like
when they were young lovers !!

This might be a fate.
I believe in fate, thats what it meant to be....
 
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