Excuse me.... Shopping

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Lighthouse77

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Why do people get mad at you when you don't move out of their way in grocery stores?

people say 'excuse me" but I didn't hear them.. Then they raise their voice at me and looked very annoyed.

Whenever someone didn't hear me say excuse me, I usually just turn around and go to another aisle. I don't feel like pestering them if they are busy looking.

Some are very patience with me, but If I'm shopping poor section of town (which I do occasionally) , they always seem grumpy and lose their temper at me.

oh yeah, someone try to steal my buggy. Can you believe that. I caught her redhanded and she said "I'm sorry, is this yours?" I told her yeah, but go ahead take it (as I didn't like the buggy anyway, it was malfuntioned). Well she found out she didn't like it either so she left it there for me, and STOLE SOMEONE ELSE's buggy.


Some People! Sheesh
 
People don't seem to understand that they are dealing with other people, and not things, when they are shopping.

Like today, I went to an electronics department guy in the Wal-Mart, and I asked him where the digital photo frames were. He said, "They're in the PhotoLab." I didn't hear him so I asked, "Sorry?" Then he repeated himself, looking quite pissed. :confused: I actually didn't understand him the second time either, but I didn't want to piss him off anymore. So, I just asked my brother after we left. :P
 
I like to have a dollar for eveytime someone yell at me or gave me a dirty look in the store because I could not hear them :roll:
 
Oh well, we have to accept some people are assholes in this society at the shopping or driving. They do give their fingers at me because I can't hear their honk beep beep...
 
the shop assistants...

I get so fed up with the shop assistants trying to talk to me and of course I just don't hear and then they think I'm blanking them and being rude. As if its my fault!
 
Pepsi said:
I like to have a dollar for eveytime someone yell at me or gave me a dirty look in the store because I could not hear them :roll:
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Oh Lordy if that actually happened we would all be be filthy rich!
 
You guys need to move to Canada...

I never had anyone yell at me in the grocery aisle. But again, I am superaware of my environment... so...
 
bleh this doesn't happen to deafies only.
 
i guess i live in the not so greatest part of canada cuz i have bad luck sometimes for that..ppl being rude or giving me a dirty look sometimes cuz i can't hear them...worst was being shoved and yelled at once at a cheer competition in Kingston or Brampton can't member which...i was NOT happy and told her to open her fucking eyes at the hearing aids that were in plain view as my hair was pulled back..bitch lol
 
I kinda have a knight in shining armour when I shop. My boyfriend, as typical with most males, follows me around when I get the things we need. lol

Usually he jumps to my defense when someone's hackles raise after repeatedly saying "excuse me" towards me and my attention is turned elsewhere and its usually him that grabs my attention.

More often than not, after he has given his rebuttal and explained my being Deaf, they have the grace to apologize and sometimes we wind up talking with them for a while, mostly because they are curious about me. It is a good educational experience for them and a pleasant shopping experience for my boyfriend and I.

I think that people act that way mostly because they are assuming that we are just like everyone else, and have no limits, or restrictions. You would notice that people automatically move aside when someone in a wheelchair is coming. Because everything is visual, what you see is what it is.
 
This happened today and my mom was with me. She actually apologized to the guy for my deafness and not being able to hear him. UGH! Why should I apologize for something that's not my fault.
 
Dixie said:
This happened today and my mom was with me. She actually apologized to the guy for my deafness and not being able to hear him. UGH! Why should I apologize for something that's not my fault.
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Ewww....Lord yes- that's something my mother would do. Nothing like a loved one setting me up for a condescending situation.
 
DGirl101 said:
I kinda have a knight in shining armour when I shop. My boyfriend, as typical with most males, follows me around when I get the things we need. lol

Usually he jumps to my defense when someone's hackles raise after repeatedly saying "excuse me" towards me and my attention is turned elsewhere and its usually him that grabs my attention.

More often than not, after he has given his rebuttal and explained my being Deaf, they have the grace to apologize and sometimes we wind up talking with them for a while, mostly because they are curious about me. It is a good educational experience for them and a pleasant shopping experience for my boyfriend and I.

I think that people act that way mostly because they are assuming that we are just like everyone else, and have no limits, or restrictions. You would notice that people automatically move aside when someone in a wheelchair is coming. Because everything is visual, what you see is what it is.
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Speaking of that, my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, were shopping in the Galinburg (sp?), TN one time. As my husband was at the checkout, I had to go to the bathroom and had my back turned as I was leaving. My husband wanted to ask me a question about what to purchase but couldn't get my attention. When the Cashier saw this, She thought I was rude and was treating her (because she had to wait) and my husband horrible. But she ended up being rude when she said "What's matter with her, Deaf or something?" in an annoyed voice -- she was saying that to insult me because she thought I was hearing. My husband got upset with her because for one, she didn't mind her business when she jumped into conclusion and automatically assumed I was being rude to my husband. Second, her comment was not nice for employee who suppose to be working.

So my husband look firmly at her in the eyes after she said it and said "Yes, she is" She was like, "oh... sorry"

So at the end, he ended up not purchasing anything. And explained to me why.
 
Hello Everyone :) this is such an interesting topic, i love hearing your stories and views on this subject. I have been thankful that I have not had a lot of problems with this, though i would be lying to say never. I Think it happens more often than i realize, and i just don't pay attention lol. Often I am lost in my own world and just don't hear things i should, and i've gotten some grumpy looks myself, but I just always smile and say 'oh i'm sorry i didn't hear you' and if they choose to be grumpy about it that's there problem.

In a way if you think about it, it's flattering that people assume you are 'like everyone else' and don't notice the hearing aids, because I guess at least for me...I've always aimed for equal treatment in all things, though admittedly in some things that just can't happen.

The asking the clerks/workers things can be the most difficult thing for me sometimes, I get so frustrated, and i truely understand their frustration as well...i mean repeating yourself 3 times and the person still doesn't understand what you are trying to communicate, it is frustrating for both parties all around.

For many years i took care of handicapped adults who needed 24/7 care/supervision, and I also dealt with a lot of the rude/intolerant people with them as well, it's sad to see, but i guess we cannot change how limited others are, but can just be thankful for those in the world who ARE understanding and helpful. As to the issue of mothers..well that's a whole other topic LOL

Lighthouse, that's so great about your husband feeling as he did about the shopping situation, it's always nice to have those who understand. I have a friend who is very good at helping me out in public situations, which is nice. She also helps me out a lot in school which is nice when i miss things...important or not so important it's nice to know the things I would have missed :)
 
Most people are polite when I tell then that I can't hear. There are always some people out there that are just jerks.

A lady came up behind me in a locker room while I was getting my gym bag out. I said, "I'm sorry. I didn't hear you come up." She rudely said, "I didn't say anything." I said, "Oh, I didn't hear you." She repeated the statement again in a very irritated tone. She acted like I was trying to tell her my personal problems or get some sort of pity out of her. She treated me with contempt. Apparently, she had issues.

Generally, people who are mercenary and only use other people won't give the time of day to a person perceived as not useful. I suppose that some people consider deaf people as unworthy of their time. Their loss.
 
I am sure I got snide comments made behind my back by people at the stores but I cant hear them so I dont worry about it. Fortunately, I never really had a bad experience that left me feeling bitter. HOwever, I do hate it when cashiers start chatting away with me making small talk because I get all nervous due to needing my eyes to stock the food on the belt or keep my eye on my 4 year old. Cant please everyone so I stopped worrying about it. My primary focus is my son's safety so I am going to keep my eyes on him more than on the other shoppers. If they have a problem with that, they can shove it up their a***! :lol:
 
shel90 said:
I am sure I got snide comments made behind my back by people at the stores but I cant hear them so I dont worry about it. Fortunately, I never really had a bad experience that left me feeling bitter. HOwever, I do hate it when cashiers start chatting away with me making small talk because I get all nervous due to needing my eyes to stock the food on the belt or keep my eye on my 4 year old. Cant please everyone so I stopped worrying about it. My primary focus is my son's safety so I am going to keep my eyes on him more than on the other shoppers. If they have a problem with that, they can shove it up their a***! :lol:
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:giggle: oh I like that :) That's exactly where your priority should be! :) I sure wish i had a little less care for 'pleasing everyone' myself, but it seems to be ingrained in me lol.
 
couple weeks ago, I had a cashier who tried to make small talk with me, but like you Shel, I had an 8 years old as well and I wanted him to leave everything alone.

Well this cashier must got mad at me because i couldn't understand what she said (I only assume she asked how are you, the usual question that most cashiers ask). I could tell she got mad at me because the way she handed over my bag. I held my hands out, and she didn't hand it over. She just dropped it on the counter like she didn't care in the world that there may be glass in it. But I'm forgave her as I think she got a little hurt. I wished I did explain to her that I couldn't hear, but at the moment, I was upset that she dropped my bag like she did.
 
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One thing I wish so often from cashiers is eye contact. Because often I would clue in that I am deaf only to have them look away missing that clue or rarely look up to actually take a look at customer. O.o So they continued to talk clueless that I can't hear em and might think I am rude or something. Ugh! What happened to good communication in this society?!

I still think whether customers response back or not, cashier still should be polite to them instead of getting ugly because they don't talk back. *shrugs*

Oh well, that's such life of people like us, huh? ^^
 
Nette and I were in some store last summer (she doesn't recall which one) and some sales clerk was being obnoxious because she didn't realize that I couldn't hear her. So Nette got mad and said "He's deaf you f**king c**t!" I didn''t even know Nette did that until she told me a few days ago.

I don't usually have that extreme of a reaction though, but it sure is irritating sometimes.
 
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