excessive cussing = lack of respect?

diehardbiker

diehardbiker

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Hello, I am curious about your perspective or your own personal opinion.

I ran into a problem with a person whose swearing in almost every possible sentences, I considered this to be excessive and turned me off because I am now in "White collar" professional position where there is respect involved. I learned to respect and be more positive, and use better vocabulary to express how I feel.

Seriously, I learned that excessive cussing can be considered as sexual harassement in many workplaces, especially when it comes to upper level positions.

Back to that person, I do like this person however this constantly cussing turned me off and I tried to approach this person, and didn't get my message acrossed. Due to my diguesting how this person talks, I just simply gave silence treatment in hope that this person gets message acrossed.

It last several months, finally I re-approached this person explained how I felt, the response was... "OH you want me to be (bleep) Mr. Nice Guy? Oh (bleep) please!"

It shows me total lack of respect from this person, so I gave another few weeks of silent treatment in hope that this person realizes what I was tryin to say.

it failed, so I gave one more shot, approached this person via E mail, the response was rather upset at me. This person accused me of so called unrelated issue which have nothing to do with my point out. I even told this person that I am not alone as others have felt the same way. This person laughed at my face as if I am such a fool. My last sentence to this person was "I felt so sad for you" This person hates me and threating me.

I felt that this person is completely disrespectful and plainly stupidity.

I do cussing from time to time, not almost every possible sentences, because I am open minded and don't mind from time to time. Excessive is not really necessary, isn't it?.

How would you feel if your friend cussing all the time with you, especially if it comes to almost every possible sentence?
 
Well it's best to use the cuss in the common sense way, like try to use it as sense of humor or just a self-vent, avoiding from using it to target toward someone else unless it was only for a sense of humor purpose. JMO.
 
Seriously, I learned that excessive cussing can be considered as sexual harassement in many workplaces, especially when it comes to upper level positions.
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sexual harassement? cussing language is consider as an unprofessional and offensive to many work places.

Accord your description about this person sound a terrible. I would not like to involve with that person.

It last several months, finally I re-approached this person explained how I felt, the response was... "OH you want me to be (bleep) Mr. Nice Guy? Oh (bleep) please!"
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His behavior manner shows itself as a lack of respect.
 
Yeah I see that people talked too much with swearing words. Make me :roll: and felt that it's loser conversation.!
 
Social in cussing word without insult anyone isn't lack of respect, it's freedom of speech.

It's depends on situation, it can be different way.
 
diehardbiker said:
...How would you feel if your friend cussing all the time with you, especially if it comes to almost every possible sentence?
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I would feel that person is NOT a friend, and either doesn't know how or doesn't care to express himself in a mature, respectful, intelligent way.
 
Let the boss know. Afterall it's the boss's responsibility to tell this individual and not yours. :)
 
Maybe this person did not get enough hugs from its mama.

Years ago, I happened to work with co-worker who swears like a sailor. I did ask him to not use F word all the time and he replied,"Yes, Mother Teresa." He tried so hard to not say F word so much. Lol..
 
Sometimes you just have to accept that person for who this person is, only way that person can change if he/she see the problem themselves in order to change themselves. I've had some co-workers who cussed too often where it got to the point that this is just how they are when they're frustrated.
 
This is an interesting topic...

I, for one, love to cuss. I am college educated and have a wide vocabulary, but there is something to be said for well-placed profanity. Certain swear words add that dose of linguistic color that is just not possible with some other words. Like all things, moderation is key.

In the workplace, I don't deem cussing to be a problem but I am sure to know who I am talking to when I use it. I get a feel for that person's vernacular and comfort level and speak to them accordingly. This is simply a matter of etiquette. I wouldn't want someone editing their speech with me since it's not necessary.
 
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orione1even said:
This is an interesting topic...

I, for one, love to cuss. I am college educated and have a wide vocabulary, but there is something to be said for well-placed profanity. Certain swear words add that dose of linguistic color that is just not possible with some other words. Like all things, moderation is key.

In the workplace, I don't ding cussing to be a problem but I am sure to know who I am talking to when I use it. I get a feel for that person's vernacular and comfort level and speak to them accordingly. This is simply a matter of etiquette. I wouldn't want someone editing their speech with me since it's not necessary.
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Hope that you edit it while on your first dates :lol:
 
For some reason people never cuss around me - maybe it is because they sense that I am a prim and proper lady? :hmm: But yes I do cuss when I am pissed off thanks to my Irish temper ;) It never fails to shock anyone to see me cussing vehmently LOL


Diehardbiker, it is clear that you tried to explain your comfort zone to this so called friend - yet he refuses to respect your comfort zone. If you are so intent on keeping this friendship, simply make a long standing deal with him - for every word he cuss, he can put in 25 cents in a mug. That is what a friend is doing with a friend of mine. That way you can keep it light between you both and teach him a thing or two.
 
Gemma said:
For some reason people never cuss around me - maybe it is because they sense that I am a prim and proper lady? :hmm: But yes I do cuss when I am pissed off thanks to my Irish temper ;) It never fails to shock anyone to see me cussing vehmently LOL


Diehardbiker, it is clear that you tried to explain your comfort zone to this so called friend - yet he refuses to respect your comfort zone. If you are so intent on keeping this friendship, simply make a long standing deal with him - for every word he cuss, he can put in 25 cents in a mug. That is what a friend is doing with a friend of mine. That way you can keep it light between you both and teach him a thing or two.
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25 cents? At the rate DHB's friend is going, DHB might be able to quit his job this September! :lol:
 
I used to swear often in high school thinking it was so cool..now, I am not even comfortable using cuss words around people I dont know well. Even with my friends or family, I dont really cuss.

I agree with Gemma and Reba..there is no need to cuss if people are not comfortable with it. It doesnt matter if that who the person is..where is the respect?

If that person continues to cuss around u, kick him to the curb.
 
Whoa! misunderstanding here. This person happen to be friend of mine for a while until last winter. This person never would be my co-worker, because of different field. I am pretty much white collar, while this person is blue collar and works in machine shop. I myself ex work in machine shop and know what it is like, but this person is way overboard.

I am glad to have my job, my job has too much prestige, and most of my co worker is college educated.

Thanks for your feedback and telling me that I am not that insane. :)
 
I would hate it if a person did that to me. I know a lot of people like that. They will even swear when it doesn't even sound appropriate. When I ask why they swear, they usually tell me cuz it's a "cool" thing to do. :roll:

I swear from time to time, but I do know when not to swear... such as in front of my family or in a work environment.
 
I know how you feel. It feels like it drains your brain or something. It does get so tiring. Maybe you can tell your boss that you tried to explain to him how you felt and now he is threatening you. Tell him that you accept that he cusses, but that he cannot talk to you if he is going to cuss in every sentence. There is no excuse to cuss in every sentence to get your message across.
 
I rarely cuss, I just don't see the need for it unless extreme situation arises. But that's just me. I would just find fun words to replace it. I liked this word "vex." I am vexed. Sound funs, huh?

Anyhow, yeah you should inform your boss because it may affects them. Ie you are working with clients that come into your place or other good co-workers leaving because they can't stand it, etc. But it might be helpful if you have other co workers with you. So that you won't be a target of this "friend's" hostile behavior.
 
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