Exboyfriend a con artist

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cupcake2005

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I have just come out of a 6 years relationship with a man who has taken advantage of me financially, emotionally, psychologically, and mentally. He has lived with me for free and spent all of the money that he has earned from work all on himself. I had to support a family of 7 including the two of us by paying all of our living expenses. He has been dishonest and kept secrets from all of us during those years as well.

He acquired an attorney and filed a dissolution in October so I went ahead and got myself an attorney as well. We are in the process of working through the attorneys to go through a mediation to determine who gets what out of all the things we have acquired during our relationship.

We broke up in October and I have learned that he has moved on with another woman and they have been talking since December. I want to get the word out there to warn her and other woman that this man has a history of domestic violence and has records in other states as well which is what I found out after we broke up. I also found out that he has taken advantage of his exgirlfriends financially too. I realized that I was not the first victim and I am concerned that this woman will become another victim. What should I do about this?
 
I'm not sure if those women out there will believe you over him....I'm not saying this to stop you from doing so, but to warn you that it could happen and then what will you do?....

Your ex could tell his girlfriend stories like " Oh she is jealous because she wants me back blah blah blah ".....and then his girlfriend would believe him over you since she hasn't had any problems with him, so I dunno what you can do about this....

My ex husband has a girlfriend and I haven't told her anything about him, I wasn't sure if it's my place to do so, or if she will believe me over him....so I thought it would be best to leave it alone, and pray it won't happen to her or any other girls out there....

Good Luck Cupcakes, I hope those women out there will believe your story!
 
Gee! Sorry to hear that, I believe things will pass eventually. I just want to share what I learn from somebody else. Do NOT EVER give out your ex your kids SSN!!! Guard your live in kids's SSN!!! Know why? The child tax credit law limits one credit per child. And that the child MUST be residing with you more than 6 months. Sometimes ex a$$hole would try to abuse this law by filing tax credit on kids that don't live with him/her for at least 6 months. This CAN hurt you and will have IRS on your back. So, if you suspect, report to IRS of potential abuses. Keep all tracks of whereabout your kids for at least 6 month on any given year. The consequence for cheating this is what? 10 years ban on taking any credits from IRS!!!

I bring this up because you got 7 kids, it masks on IRS because they look only on 2 kids, the rest don't count. So, it is wise to check this out, making sure your ex don't take advantage of this, and having IRS on your back. Yes, it had happened to good friend of mine, her ex hubby stole his own kids SSN!!! At first, she was baffled why he would want kids' SSN... few weeks later she realize and had to go down to IRS to get this mess straighten out. True business he did! Now, he is banned from IRS for 10 years (About 7 years left now)
 
Ummm....I'm kinda of confused here...

Are you talking about adding kids on the taxes incoming forms?....I thought it was only for marriage couples, and this girl is never married to her ex boyfriend so why would he put her kids on his taxes form?....
 
Your dead wrong! Im not married and I do take out tax credits for my son! about 75% of parents don't take advantage of this credit... about $2,000 worth of credit PER child! Up to 2 children. In fact, you need not to be biological parents to claim the credits as well. Foster parents, anyone who adopts kids are qualified as long as they reside with child(ren) for more than 6 months.

So back to point, child tax credit have NOTHING to do with marriage! It has alot to do with reducing one's burden on supporting a child or two. The third or whatever the number you have, standard deduct of about 1,500 dollars per child is still available. (There is difference between credit and deductions, and you would want credit more than deduction for maximizing the tax refund!)

^Angel^ said:
Ummm....I'm kinda of confused here...

Are you talking about adding kids on the taxes incoming forms?....I thought it was only for marriage couples, and this girl is never married to her ex boyfriend so why would he put her kids on his taxes form?....
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^Angel^ said:
why would he put her kids on his taxes form?....
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Con artist's ultimate goal is what? TAKE AS MUCH ADVANTAGE OUT OF VICTIM. Con artist ALWAYs study how the system works, and look for crack to break in. They always look for opportunity in their favor. Tax credit law is one of them ($2k per child is ALOT). You need not to prove anything until IRS suspects and calls for audit.

One thing I see positive about cupcake, she never got married. Image if she got married with this creep, gawd! I can't image the consequences. That is one of my biggest factor for not believe in marriage. Other factor is gov't system, how they treat married couples over single.
 
diehardbiker65 said:
Your dead wrong! Im not married and I do take out tax credits for my son! about 75% of parents don't take advantage of this credit... about $2,000 worth of credit PER child! Up to 2 children.
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Sometimes You need to take a chill pill and chill out dude. Why can't you discuss nicely instead of using this pharse "You're dead wrong!". Go outside and take a deep long breathe ... (breathing in and out slowly) :thumb:
 
diehardbiker65 said:
Your dead wrong! Im not married and I do take out tax credits for my son! about 75% of parents don't take advantage of this credit... about $2,000 worth of credit PER child! Up to 2 children. In fact, you need not to be biological parents to claim the credits as well. Foster parents, anyone who adopts kids are qualified as long as they reside with child(ren) for more than 6 months.

So back to point, child tax credit have NOTHING to do with marriage! It has alot to do with reducing one's burden on supporting a child or two. The third or whatever the number you have, standard deduct of about 1,500 dollars per child is still available. (There is difference between credit and deductions, and you would want credit more than deduction for maximizing the tax refund!)
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:ugh: ....

First of all, It looks like to me, you are jumping the gun too quickly here, If you can re-read my post one more time, you can see that I state " I thought " , I did not say it was a fact or the truth.....:::holding up a peace sign:::

Secondly, It wouldn't make no difference if she did not give her ex boyfriend the children's ssn, he could always look thru the desk or thru the papers to find it, it's not so hard to do.....

Third, If the ex boyfriend had put the children's name on the taxes forms then I'm sure she would take his butt to court, or the IRS will handle it after they see that both parents has their children's name on their taxes forms...

Fourth, I'm sorry to say this but it is not true as you said about living with the children more than 6 months to be able to put the children's name on the taxes form, my ex husband has the children's name on his taxes form cause he pay child support and he does not live with the children but I do.....So every situation is different as for each state laws....

Please forgive me Cupcake for going off the topic here.....
 
^Angel^ said:
...IRS will handle it after they see that both parents has their children's name on their taxes forms....So every situation is different as for each state laws....
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Just to clarify about the IRS.

Yes, the IRS can find fraud on forms (such as both parents claiming the same dependents) but it sometimes takes a few years to pop up.

The IRS is a federal agency, not state. The regulations for the IRS are national, not state. So IRS situations are the same for everyone, no matter the state.

Each state has different state tax regulations. Some states don't even have income tax. But all of that is separate from the IRS.

Sorry :topic:
 
Okay Cupcake2005....

You have to make a decision as to whether or not you want to approach your ex's current girlfriend. In too many cases like this, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. For example...the current girlfriend could give YOU the cold shoulder, and accuse YOU of lying, cheating, trying to interfere or meddle within their lives. Your ex may also get word of your warnings, and there is no telling what a man of his kind is capable of doing. Additionally, if you don't tell her and you later on learn that she is suffering the same kind of mistreatment from him as you did - well, first off, there's the GUILT. You will be left feeling that you could have prevented it somehow...:dunno:

Quick thing to keep into consideration though - whether or not you step in and say something - people are still capable of making their own choices. You apparently made a bad choice in men - and that's ok, it happens. I've done the same thing. Most women go through a wide range of men before they finally settle down with the one that is best suited for them. So...if it were me, I would send the current girlfriend a friendly letter letting her know what has been done to YOU - then she can decide for herself as to what to do with the newly acquired information. On the other hand, you don't want to get involved in other people's dirty laundry. The repercussions can prove severe, and you don't need more aggravation.

Good luck and cheers.
 
Hi Everyone,

I am so sorry that I have confused some of you with what I meant by supporting 7 people in my family including my exboyfriend and I. I have two children, two foster adults, and a mother. The children are not my exboyfriend's children, thank goodness for that! He would not be able to claim them on his taxes. Whew!

I like Malfoyish's idea of sending a friendly letter, hmm.. I think I will wait and see how things progress with our case through the attorneys and I have a feeling that there will be a lot of things happening in June so I will give it time to see whether I should write the letter or just leave it and see comes out of it.

To be honest, it really feels so good to know that others do understand and empathize with my situation. It is so nice to know that I could come here for support and to get advice. You guys have wonderful ideas and those ideas give me something to go on with to come to a decision of how I would handle this. :grouphug: to everyone of you! Thank you!
 
cupcake2005 said:
Hi Everyone,

I am so sorry that I have confused some of you with what I meant by supporting 7 people in my family including my exboyfriend and I. I have two children, two foster adults, and a mother. The children are not my exboyfriend's children, thank goodness for that! He would not be able to claim them on his taxes. Whew!

I like Malfoyish's idea of sending a friendly letter, hmm.. I think I will wait and see how things progress with our case through the attorneys and I have a feeling that there will be a lot of things happening in June so I will give it time to see whether I should write the letter or just leave it and see comes out of it.

To be honest, it really feels so good to know that others do understand and empathize with my situation. It is so nice to know that I could come here for support and to get advice. You guys have wonderful ideas and those ideas give me something to go on with to come to a decision of how I would handle this. :grouphug: to everyone of you! Thank you!
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I'm very glad to have been of some assistance. I do wish you all the best. :) Feel free to keep on posting with us.
 
Im wishes i would getting married at my second ex-boyfriend asked me to marry to him and i told my mom about that! but i dont tell my DAD about that man! i havent carry that engagement rings from my old second ex-boyfriend!

i got argue with my mom what she done about my relationships with my old boyfriends and my mom is totally FAULT! for what my mom done with me and my ex-boyfriend and i told my ex-boyfriend on e-mail but i told him not his fault but its my mom's fault but he understand they he and i break-up after my mom's deserves from me i told my mom kept her big mouth shut-up! let me handles it!

but I would plans getting new man soon! im not sure when! i dont wanted my mom ruin my new relationship like that before!

Sara Boyce
 
cupcake2005 said:
I have just come out of a 6 years relationship with a man who has taken advantage of me financially, emotionally, psychologically, and mentally. He has lived with me for free and spent all of the money that he has earned from work all on himself. I had to support a family of 7 including the two of us by paying all of our living expenses. He has been dishonest and kept secrets from all of us during those years as well.

He acquired an attorney and filed a dissolution in October so I went ahead and got myself an attorney as well. We are in the process of working through the attorneys to go through a mediation to determine who gets what out of all the things we have acquired during our relationship.

We broke up in October and I have learned that he has moved on with another woman and they have been talking since December. I want to get the word out there to warn her and other woman that this man has a history of domestic violence and has records in other states as well which is what I found out after we broke up. I also found out that he has taken advantage of his exgirlfriends financially too. I realized that I was not the first victim and I am concerned that this woman will become another victim. What should I do about this?
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Whoa, he's just totally kept secret of his funds and spends your funds to pay bill, that's totally WRONG, he supposed to be shared a funding in half pays just like my gf and I share the good buffet restuarants.. the confidnetifal informations should be lock at the bank vault room.. as your kids's SSN and your informations.... He's can't find any "snooping" around and avoid cluttered on your desk that you think he did snooping around and left slops around.. Go ahead call IRS to against your ex-bf hehe, if the IRS found out, that his's BAD habit..
:rifle:
 
oh no not another con artist...gee whiz...now you see why I am not interested in meeting men...oh gawd, do something about him, cupcake...call the police and find out what your rights are...read my thread "catch me while u can" Bobby Berry on general chat... I am sure you will learn eventually of how to catch this con-artist...good luck... :angel:
 
Con artist

Wisdomlady-

I am in a difficult position to state my exboyfriend's name because he is a very well known leader in the deaf community all through the U.S. His family is deaf also and some of them are leaders in their community as well. Where we live now, the deaf community is very very very small and the word would get out fast like wildfire.

He has a very charamistic personality at first but then when people get to know him on a personal level they find out that he is not who he says he is. He also is a very private person, he would only talk about his personal life to maybe 2 or 3 people. I wish I could have the courage to put his name out there because he has to be stopped but I am afraid to take the risk because once I put his name out there, it will all come back to me. I just know it. If someone lets him know about this Thread, he will know that I was the one that started this. I am the first girlfriend that has stood up to this man and told him straight to his face who he really is. He is a narcissist, he preys on women for money and controls them.

It feels like I am in a catch-22 or a doublesworded situation. I just pray that the woman that he has been in contact with would see his true colors before it is too late.
 
A Narcissist is someone who is totally in love with him/herself...doesn't care much for anything else except for oneself...vain and loves to groom and keep neat to impress others, etc.

I sure hope that you'll get this resolved somehow -- it's good to vent something out -- but sometimes some issues are best done in person and discussed rationally if possible.
 
Con artist

R3na3Blyth3 said:
A Narcissist is someone who is totally in love with him/herself...doesn't care much for anything else except for oneself...vain and loves to groom and keep neat to impress others, etc.

I sure hope that you'll get this resolved somehow -- it's good to vent something out -- but sometimes some issues are best done in person and discussed rationally if possible.
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Yes, I have tried to discuss this with him and told him that if this continues to deny that he has this disorder that it would affect all of his relationships until he faces it. He thinks that he can get away with it but it is going to blow up in his face. Sigh..

I have found a website that was set up by a man who admits that he is a Narcissist and he has put a lot of wonderful insights of this type of disorder and shared his experiences of facing this. I did think of showing my exboyfriend this website but I decided not to do that because right now where he is, he is in complete denial. Nothing would get through to him.

Isn't that sad that this man is willing to waste his life by living a fanasty and lies?
 
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