Divorce

^Angel^ said:
I do understand what you mean by ' Co- Dependency '....It's obvious that in some cases or situations ' Co- Dependency ' doesn't work...Let me tell u about myself here...My soon to be ex husband abused me...If he was somewhat in a similiar type of situation as your ex husband , I would be happy to put my feelings aside and help him by asking around or help find him a place to live but not with me but somewhere than being out on the streets or in his own car...I would do it for anyone even strangers, that's the kind of person I am....

God would want people to be good samaritans besides acting out of doing something such as doing good deeds, etc....

I would want my children to see that I am helping their dad because I do care and wouldn't want my children to see where their dad is living in....Children do need both parents and sometimes, we just have to put our feeling aside and do the right thing for the sake of the children....Reaching out in certain ways despite our own inner sufferings or what the past has brought upon me or anyone else with whatever kind of experiences (both good and bad) have gone through, yet by being a good samaritan reaching out in any way that I'm able to contribute, help...without being co-dependent on each other...
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I know what "Samartian" is. *Chuckles* But, I know my ex-hubby very well for many years. He has some friends that I adviced him to go to and ask for help. So, he did and found someone who already accepted him as a room mate. Supposedly, IF I already KNEW that he has no friends, then maybe the situation will be different.... but I already KNEW that he has some friends and that he should go to and ask for help.
You and I are different people and don't have the same insights and feelings about our ex-hubbies. You and I are not the same desires what we feel for others in some fields. I do have my own desire, but in a different circumstance. For example... as its for me, I would rather to see my ex-hubby to LEARN the hard way on his own by findin' his friends to see, if one of his friends could accept him instead of attemptin' to ask his ex-wife for a room mate... that is a :nono: for me. He has no rights to ask ex-wife for a room mate, just because he learned that I success. That's not right. He was hopin' that I will help him to build his new credit by usin' me or takin' an advantage of me, because of my credit is good. See, that's how I got my own place and had my own job. That's not fair. I worked hard my butt off to earn my merit and give myself a credit for it. I hope that you understand this. :) He has to learn to find a way of how to success himself on his own. That's what life is about.
 
i agree with you....

my ex-wife even asked me to be roommates... i was shocked by that.. however i told her a BIG NO..

why whould ex wife, ex husbands live together? that's silly....
 
Yes, look at Duke and Duchess of York, they are divorced but continue to live under same roof!

I feel sorry for their 2 girls, I bet they are praying they will go back together, but sometimes they have their own partners in and out of their martial home, and it show their divorce looks like a big joke!

One good thing to see they are speaking couple, for their children's sake, but they keep taking ski holiday together as a "family", why bother to get divorce in first place! I cannot understand these royal couple and never will.

Remember Fergie declared Bankrupcty, Prince Andrew didn't come to help her because they are divorced!

There are lots of bad report about them in English newspapers.
 
DeafSCUBA98 said:
why whould ex wife, ex husbands live together? that's silly....
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I didn't say LIVE together....and If my sister, wants to help her ex boyfriend until he gets back on his feets that is her choice and I disagree, I do not find it silly! :roll:
 
CyberRed,

That is fine...Its your choice!..
 
It not living together play roomates its about Helping Someone In needs.. Even through It Might be your 'ex' But still That person is a human being... How would u feel if that person is needed for Help cuz that person has no where else to go? and That person dies How would u feel? U would feel bad that u Did not offer a helping hand.. It is about showing Ur feelings as helping a person out anybody that needs a helping hand... Expectly A Father or Mother of ur Children.. Be a good Saint Not cuz someone did something to u in the past.. Don't put the Past in the Present and Future Put the Heart of your Caring to the Present and Future...


Same thing Like for Example a Son shoot his Mother cuz she was putting Pressure on his Life and Will she Forgive him even through that her son? For me Yes I will.... and If her son Needs help like money or a place to live until he gets back on his feet will u take him in or not? for me Yes I will.. Its about Helping someone in needs.. even through he did something in the past that is Horrible like what I just stated...Still that is your son and Ur Fresh and Blood.. There is Forgiving There is Love still.. Then there is Caring.. That is what it is all about.
 
CyberRed: That's good that you already
forgave him ! Co-independence is a
very difficult situation here. I understand
that you' re trying to teach him how to
be independent, etc.. That's NOT easy at all.

You mentioned that he has other friends,
thats good as long as he stay with them,
but in a car ? hmm. Having friends might
or might not help at all.

There was a homeless guy who slept
and died in a RV trailer in a warm weather.
Everyone including his ex-wife and
family members & friends were shocked cuz
he attended the same
bar and restaurant many times and
everyone loves him because of
his fun and easy-going personality
He was doing many favors for their pets
while they're away for vacations and
they let him take showers sometimes...

I cried so hard that day when I read
an article about him died in a RV trailer
from hypothermia even in a warm weather.
Too late for his ex-wife and family members
and his friends.

I do NOT mean to tell you what to do, but
I just want to share this true story.
This is entirely up to you. Have a Good Day !!!
 
Y said:
You mentioned that he has other friends,
thats good as long as he stay with them,
but in a car ? hmm. Having friends might
or might not help at all.
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Speakin' of livin' in a car...that was way before he went to his friends AFTER I adviced him to go to since his families/relatives/friends live in the lower 48 states. So, far I don't hear from him... I guess, he found a place to stay. :thumb:
 
CyberRed said:
Speakin' of livin' in a car...that was way before he went to his friends AFTER I adviced him to go to since his families/relatives/friends live in the lower 48 states. So, far I don't hear from him... I guess, he found a place to stay. :thumb:
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Glad to hear that he's with others
instead of a car.. Great ! :thumb:
 
I married and divorced. My first marriage was terrible and he beat me up and I had to leave him, because he was so verbal and emtional abuse to me. He was on drugs and got his mind screwed up and beat me up. I worked my a$$ off to make money and bring the bacon and milk home, all he did to spend my money on drugs and PlayStation games. What a pathetic!! I first told him that I am divorcing you, and he got pissed off and throwing things and tearing up the house, and I have had enough. So I took the computer, the dogs and the car and moved to my mom and dad and got a quickie divorce.

After the divorce, I met a wonderful guy who treats so well and we NEVER fought anything.. The good thing, he is a lot older and he know how to make me happy and he know how to treat me like a woman. We have a wonderful baby son together and this coming Tuesday, we will be celebrating our 2nd year anniversary. What a blessing!! :)
 
My husband got divorced from his first wife due to her affair with one of his ex-best mates as he had been staying with them in a caranvan in the backyard. She stole everything from my husband, used his money to pay her boyfriend's bills, wrecked the house (hubby was paying for) and moved out.
Hubby ended up with nothing to his name -- only 2 cars and the clothes he had on.
 
I didnt divorce him because he beat me up, took drugs/drank too much or had affairs. None of that.

We simply did not work on it. He choose to work and I choose to be passive. I did not feel comfortable with telling him how I felt. We did not have that kind of connection where you both could trust each other and work hard to make it work.

It fell apart like that after five years. Looking back, I have no idea why I married him in the first place but at least he gave me two wonderful girls for rest of my life.

He has remarried and seemed much happier with her. Both have a lot in interests and both are hearing. He simply did not like my deaf culture so that was another factor.
 
For Sickness For Health

My wife went beyond the threshold of 'for sickness' to be able to coexist with her in a peaceful way. I could not handle her psychotic episodes any longer and even had to suffer false abuse charges on the way out of the marriage.

Richard
 
no people in my entire family have divorce...
BUT
one of my big brother... He is the first person got divorce. :mad2:

Anyway... When there infamous divorce that lead people to think really hard or worry about when the couple are build the relationship before the marriage. It's horrible, waste time and ummm it's scary!

Theory...
Rush into marriage will possible lead to divorce.
Long-term relationship will possible stay marriage much longer.

Other side...
one of my brother admit in front of me and my other brother that he want to get divorce because he can't stand that marriage. :-o
 
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Yes, My Adoptivee parents are divorced long time ago when I was teenagers. I know what going on but *oh shucks* Affair wha.. dumb Dad have done? (mumbling) btw ain't my business... I disowed my Dad what he had done to me terrible raised hell! (long story)

My hubby and I aren't interested divorce too scary for living and look children can be affected upsetting.. doesn't want part of it.. If problem relationship.. We have to work hard patience find a way the solution better improve other way relationship build up.

My hubby's parents are divorced when he was teenager too.. *shucks* due Affair.. btw, He accepted move on and let parent happy 2nd marriage different wife/hubby.. They are happy at last long!
 
let u know i got divorced today!! i went and signed my name so i am single!!! GRRRRRRREAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT yaya!! reason why i divorced him cuz of he beated me up, cheated on me other woman.. that hurted me so much!!!
 
UH? :ugh: You lost me.. When did you get married? How long? How long did the divorce process take? Mine was only 7 months and divorce hearing was only 30 minutes.
 
CrazyRedHeadWV said:
UH? :ugh: You lost me.. When did you get married? How long? How long did the divorce process take? Mine was only 7 months and divorce hearing was only 30 minutes.
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i seprated my ex hubby since 2000 and been almost 4 yrs so finally i got divorce papers yesterday and signed my name today and senttttttttt!!! i was only married my ex hubby for one yr and half thats alll
 
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